I’ve been a bit ill as of late and have honestly been quite apathetic in regards to my writings and other activities I normally take delight in doing. But anyone who knows me knows I’m not the type to just sit around feeling sorry for myself. The worse I feel, the more inclined I am to get up and move around more and get even more work done. Today I continued on with more deep cleaning that I have been doing for quite a while now. When I was done I had the house deep cleaned to perfection, with windows/windowsills, floors, refrigerator, bathrooms, and living room sparkling to perfection. Afterwards, I changed and cleaned up and lit a scented candle and opened up the main window in the living room, letting the fresh sunlight pour into the house. I then sat there and looked out the window, and looked around at the home that I’ve made and kept up.
It was then that I knew in my heart, that if the only thing I ever accomplished in life was this- the making of a home and family and finding stable love- that I had done well. Despite all, I had this peace in my heart when I took in the stillness and beauty of my own home, a home and stable life created when I was so young. Inside of me, as it always does, I then started having the stirrings in my heart to write again. I wanted to say what I have just said here, that I may not have some fancy Master’s Degree, I may not have some glamorous job or paid employment of any kind. I don’t bring home a paycheck, but I know I’ve done more good in this simple stable life I’ve created in a patriarchal marriage than what I could have ever probably done as a modern woman with career and independence in an “equal” relationship.
This point was drove home to me whenever my husband came home late this evening and I was encouraged all the more that I had something in my heart to write about. I never cared what he was out doing, because I knew he was committed to me, but I was kind of curious. The reason he was late was unexpected: Fox News had asked him for a brief interview for his “opinion” on some local going-ons (he turned them down, btw). Nothing too exciting, just the usual stuff- unwed motherhood, perpetual adolescence, illicit drugs and infant neglect. This is such a common problem in society that it’s not even shocking. In fact, it’s become the norm.
Going into the Victim and Women’s Rights Movement, it’s easy to see the bureaucracies that have been set up all around the country: child support, rape crisis, domestic violence crisis, counseling centers, etc… These are all attempts to overthrow the patriarchy and outlaw the policing, regulating, stigmatizing, and legislating of women’s sexuality.
But society has traditionally regulated women’s sexuality and imposed various forms of male guardianship on women- and there’s a reason for this. Just like the latest fad diet cannot replace the age-old tried-and-true reality of the laws of thermodynamics, neither can victim and feminist legislation replace the tried and true model of patriarchy. I am unaware, even dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, of any society leaving an actual written history or legacy or achieving of any scientific and social advancements that did not have political and family structures that were patriarchal (it’s worth noting that women still had great status though even in these ancient societies, btw and could still own property and engage in business if they so desired).
If you are a young girl in her teenage years or woman in her early 20s then you need to listen to this. (I signal out this age group because these are the formative years, and also the age group Pick-Up-Artists target due to these young women’s lack of life experience and knowledge of men). I know what our laws state. I know what these organizations do and I know that this is not the kind of life that you want to go down.
Let’s say you are a 16-year-old girl. Do you ever feel the stirrings inside of you to be with a young and handsome man and have babies? Do you dream of love and romance? Even when society tells you college and career first? I know I did- and that’s OK. It’s perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you feel this instinct then don’t deny it. That’s how you’re made and it’s a beautiful thing- but it must be done the right way.
You can close the doors, and, without shame whenever you’re all alone, truly marvel in the preciousness that is your body; the preciousness in the way you are made as a female. It’s very distinct from the way a male is made. It’s OK to be made weaker. It’s OK to be more vulnerable and emotional. It’s OK to sometimes have fear or a sense of wonderment at the uniquely female aspects of life (menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, etc…) And trust me when I say this, men do like it. Men aren’t looking down at you for these distinctly female things (most marvel over it, actually). Men still obsess over women, women’s sexuality, the female form, femininity. If they could truly “go their own way” they wouldn’t be devoting hours upon hours to talking about and obsessing about women non-stop. And also trust that men aren’t going to judge you or think you’re honestly worth less because you’re weaker or have less career achievements. Guys like your femininity. Strong men love it and they also love that you love it. Love the things that define you as distinctly different from a man.
But know that, no matter what society tells you or what promises are made to you, only share your body with your husband. And I think it’s good to devote time to looking for a husband first. Despite the modern world, you can find a good husband if you want one. And there’s something precious too about marrying a man from your youth, perhaps your “high-school sweetheart” or a guy your age you grew up with or hung around from your area. Marriage at a very young age, even in your late teenage years, will protect you and guard your sexuality throughout these formative years and as you age more into maturity, you will have preserved your femininity and can look in delight with peace at the years gone by. A lot of the old pressures for women to marry young was more than likely to protect them and guard their sexuality in all likelihood.
And trust me, it will be good. Better than what you could ever imagine. And if you doubt what I’m saying, then look into the laws the women’s movement changed. Look into what these organizations and advocacy groups are really all about. Take a critical look at the world around you and then ask yourself if that’s something you want to get caught up in, if that’s the life you want to live. The first and foremost thing for a young woman is to not share her body with any man other than her husband and, second, not to have illegitimate children. There can be no exceptions to this.
This is the reality, that a woman would be better off having her sexuality policed. I don’t know one unwed mother that doesn’t regret putting the father’s name on the birth certificate and pursuing child-support. I don’t know one young woman who’s been caught up in such drama regarding promiscuity and illegitimate children that probably doesn’t wish, deep down inside, that a male relative would have just slapped her across the face rather than having been caught up in the system or have a slew of sexual encounters with men who wanted nothing more than sex with her. And that’s what it is, advocacy for victims and abused women and unwed mothers belongs somewhere else other than the government agencies. You’re just a case number to them, nothing more. Trust me when I say that these organizations will re-victimize the already victimized and nothing more.
What should an unwed mother do? Find a husband. It should also be enforced upon husbands the responsibility to financially support their wives. Make no mistake- the financial support of wives is of paramount importance and has long been the defining point of patriarchy and there is a valid reason for why female financial dependence upon husbands or male relatives is so important.
Nature has placed infant children by default within the care of their mothers, but nature has made men physically and socially superior to women. If an unwed mother cannot marry the actually father, then it should be another man who will accept responsibility for her and the child. And his rights and responsibilities as the father (regardless of any biological relationship) should be enforced upon the marriage. Except in special circumstances as to be determined by a judge, unwed fathers (or even divorced ones for that matter) shouldn’t be liable for any kind of child support. That’s just another bureaucratic system set up by the women’s movement to destroy the stability of families and, just as with the other new victims’ laws, has done absolutely no good to anyone. It serves nothing more than to enable the wrong-doers and finger-pointers and perpetuate a cycle of victimization. Sure, the man might “go free” without responsibility but there are other areas in life where women do the same where men can’t. It just is what it is. Men and women cannot be made equal through coercive legislation.
Unwed mothers actually had more protections when social stigma outcast them and their children than they do today. Don’t believe that? Don’t believe any of this at all that I speak about? Seek for yourself whether what I’m saying is true or not- dig deep and think critically and rationally without letting emotion overwhelm you- then go and form your own conclusions.
Every time I hear of one more case of drama, of drugs, of a girl having a baby with a man she won’t stay with and then having another baby with a subsequent man, every drug case, every rape, every sexual harassment incident, I’m reminded that society has put women into positions that allow them to be victimized and that society has removed all controls and restraints on sexuality and appropriate family arrangements that would give children and young people the proper start in life.
I don’t really care if people hate me or love me, and neither should anyone else. People who are going to hate you don’t need a reason to do so, and oftentimes you will find that even if you give in and live the life they say you should be living (ie., finding paid employment) that they will still hate you. So let those who will hate you, hate you still. Let those who will love you, love you still.
I have been different than others all my life, but that’s OK. I’ve known no other life than a truly patriarchal one where I married young and never worked. But we are the only family that is still intact that I know of that hasn’t had a whole slew of problems that are commonplace in today’s post-feminist society. He’s still my first and only husband, only one to father my child. I’ve never brought up a child in an unstable environment with illegal drugs or any other problems that are so common.
The only way to know how much worth and value a woman has in the patriarchal system as a wife and mother is to take her out of that system- that’s when all Hell erupts and it becomes clear how much the women (women like myself who have become a rarity) society looked down upon as “childish parasites” were really worth and how much good she really did, a good she could never have done competing with men out in the world and having a career and independence- a good life that feminism and the pursuit of equality cannot compete with.
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