Generally I have always been opposed to MRAs. The reason is simple; most MRAs I’ve ever seen have been about nothing more than woman-bashing and denying male responsibility. Worse, there are many who want men to have patriarchal authority but none of the patriarchal responsibilities- the biggest thing being that they want control over women and children without the responsibility to provide for and protect women and children. Many advocate for a society with women being submissive and feminine and husbands and fathers being in control of children and women’s reproduction yet where wives and mothers, as well as women in general, are required to work and support themselves as well as their offspring.
That to me has always been an unsaleable proposition. As the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” I hate feminism, EVERY single wave of it, and am against the whole “gender equality” dogma but when it comes down to it I would rather give my support to the feminists than pro-equality MRAs who want to have their cake and eat it too.
However, times change and so do social movements. Just look at the different “waves” of feminism. Therefore could it ever be possible for me to be accepting of MRAs? Could it be possible that it could ever be a movement I would accept?
There is a new post by Jesse Powell over at Secular Patriarchy. In the post, titled “Rethinking the Manosphere and MRAs,” Powell argues that maybe MRAs might turn out to be pro-patriarchy in the end after all; that instead of being 4th-wave feminists it might be, in actuality, the beginning of several social movements and ideologies to re-establish patriarchy- true patriarchy- in society.
The thing I find most interesting about it all is that the primary driving force for MGTOWS and MRAs accepting patriarchal values and traditional male responsibilities seems to be sex and romantic involvement with women. The psychological theory is that men do everything they do for sex. After all men will create and build up civilization to get sex (if that’s what it takes) or they’ll become parasites living off their girlfriends if that’s all it takes. It’s kind of interesting that even the most hard-core embittered MGTOW will apparently even step up and embrace true patriarchal responsibility for women if it’ll finally get him laid.
That being said I don’t think I could ever support the movement unless it got a different name. Also, it is still only a minority who are embracing traditional manhood and gender roles. MRAs have many good points but their reasoning is flawed and everything always turns into “I’m a victim of this, that and the other.” Their “movement” to me is more like a religion where one has to believe in certain basic tenents of victimhood regardless of whether or not there is any evidence to support it.
To me whining and complaining about how victimized one is is completely pointless. What matters is finding any injustices and working to change things for the better not sitting around with a “poor me” attitude and whining about how you hate the opposite sex and the entire world along with them. I truly hope Mr. Powell is right in his observations about MRAs but at this point it is simply too early to lend support to such an ideology as “men’s rights” or any associated movement. If the time comes where the movement as a whole has gender roles and traditional patriarchal values as its first and foremost goal then I will get behind it. But things are crazy right now in society and their movement is very schizophrenic.
That being said I’ve linked to a few MRA articles in my day and I’ve talked to a couple of others who believe there is a split coming soon in the movement. I truly hope that is so. Until then, I will still shy away from MRAs because I see them ultimately as abusers of women who have no love nor compassion for women. I still see them as, ultimately, men who wish to take advantage of women and exploit women especially where they are most vulnerable. I see them as putting the women down who don’t want to have to go out and work and because they want to be taken care of by a man and care for their own children. I still see them as the men who complain about women and don’t want to take care of women. I still see them as abusive, exploitative and selfish. I still see them as men like my father, who talk highly of the old days of patriarchy and where the father was head of household but then want to turn around like “you owe me support, bitch” and have a constant run of girlfriends who they wish to control yet the women all are financially independent and work everyday. That is still how I think of MRAs. And maybe it’s that they don’t understand how things should be or what to do about the current mess. I know I always felt something was wrong but never knew exactly what or how things could be different or how to make it better before I discovered the truth of history and men’s duties in patriarchal society that feminism did away with (and that the MSM goes to extraordinary lengths to cover up).
But I would like to believe it could change and that maybe out of all the destruction a movement will arise with men taking charge again and accepting responsibility to be the guardians, providers and protectors of women and children.