Tag Archives: masculinity

A Woman Needs A Man’s Masculinity/ Random Rant

But you don’t understand these things that my soul longs for and needs on the inside. I could pull a million creative ideas out of my head, but I could never pull this sorrow from my heart…

I could write a million poems and novels that tell you of my heart, that tell you of my frustrations and my pain, but it will never cure me…

If you listen to those MRA types they’ll tell you that us women don’t want love and affection, yet we do.

I know what I need within my heart, to depend on a man to care of me. It doesn’t make me some gold-digger. It’s all in the motives. It’s only when I stop relying on him and stopping wanting him to provide for me that he should know something is wrong.

When I want and insist on doing for myself then he should know something is wrong.

When we walk down the street, and I don’t feel the need to hold onto him the way I used to; when my hands stay in my pockets instead of clutching onto his arm, then I’m not bonded to him anymore; I don’t need or want or even feel him anymore.

Providing for a woman doesn’t make a man weak, instead it is just the opposite. For years and years I looked up to my own husband, like he was everything. I never made my own money, I never cared for any life at all outside of my family. The fact that he provided for me meant that I needed him, and also that he held a power over me, which is something I always needed and wanted to feel. Do him wrong? “Divorce Rape?” I’ve never been powerful enough to do that even if I wanted to. And how could I take the kids if I’m depending on him just the same as they are???

I was very tame in my memoir, mostly because those in it are still alive. But I know my mother looked at me like I had some mental disorder because I don’t have some career, my grandmother’s always like “YOU DON’T NEED A MAN LIKE OMG! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”. My stepdad thinks the worst thing a man could do is to try and control a woman and thinks women should be INDEPENDENT and how dare them think a man should take care of them or support them (like, why would I want to support you, bitch?), yet he ends up with gold diggers bitches whores lovely feminine women like my own mother and his ex-wife who would screw him over with divorce rape and child support in a heartbeat, when traditionalist women don’t do those things, mostly because we CAN’T and we don’t believe in those kinds of things anyway. We’re the ones who believe in things like patriarchy and father custody (which is a part of patriarchy, a huge part of it) because we believe our men should be providing for our needs and taking care of us, because we don’t want to be independent women who do for ourselves and fight on the frontlines alongside the men. We want to be taken care of. We’re softer and less take-charge, though I’ve said it a million times, we are NOT DOORMATS.

But I say this- Direct that power in a way that protects me, that honors me, that cherishes me for now and always.

No, I don’t like it if he’s weak. It seems to do something to me inside- it seems to hurt my heart, because a weak man can’t give to a woman what she needs. Not that he can’t be weak at times. I’ve cared for him when he’s been injured, when he’s been down, the same as he has for me. A man can’t go around pretending there’s times when he’s not vulnerable, because that’s not reality, and we can connect the deepest sometimes when we are at our most vulnerable, because you trust that other person with all your heart and soul, with everything that you have and everything that you are.

You know, when I first heard a few years back that only like 20% of women actually orgasm through intercourse alone I thought it was a JOKE, but apparently it’s not. I was like, “Huh? I didn’t know there was any other way..?”

I guess I could tell the world that I could never have it any other way except for the way it’s meant to be naturally (Vibrators? What the hell are those, anyway?), and I can do that because I feel something inside, something feminine. While some women can’t get off once, I’m capable of it multiple times. Oops, yeah, you read that right. Us traditionalist girls do have a naughty side to us, too.

I think part of that is because as a woman I feel something so much more deeper sexually, with that capability to carry life inside of me (even if I don’t want to have more kids, just knowing I have that ability as a female) and to be able to take a man inside of me, gives sex a much more deeper meaning. It’s hard to explain, and I do honestly believe that I can feel and experience much more sexually than what a man ever could, that that is one way in which I, as a female, am superior in some way, but he’s superior in other ways and I love to admire that superiority, just the way that I’m sure that any masculine man who loves women admires those sexual parts of being female in which we are superior, like the ability to bring life into the world- something that men can’t do.

I want a man to be masculine, to be stronger, superior, etc… because something inside of me needs to depend upon him. I feel unhappy and a bit displaced otherwise, like nothing in life suddenly makes sense anymore. It’s kind of depressing, like I could look at him and say, “What’s wrong with you?? Don’t you get it?? Hello???” No, I don’t want you to treat me wrong or do me wrong, but I need you to grab me and tell me what I should be doing, or tell me that everything’s alright, because it’s not. It’s not alright.

Masculinity shouldn’t equate to being a huge jerk who has no honor. As I said, needing to feel a man’s masculinity as a woman means I need to depend on him, and you can’t depend on a huge jerk who you can’t trust who goes around playing women to get them in bed. No woman wants that, not truly. It’s not what she feels deep within her heart.

It’s when I’m trying to do for myself, that he’ll know I’m trying to distance myself from him, but I don’t want it that way. The masculine and the feminine are meant to go together, as one. We were made for each other and the feminists, masculinists MHRM, MRM, MRAs, MGTOWS, and on and on and INSERT RANDOM NAME HERE FOR THE NEXT GROUP OF LOSERS WHO PROBABLY NEVER GET LAID WHO CLAIM TO WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH MODERN WESTERN WOMEN  can’t change the fact that men and women still need each other and actually WANT to be with each other.

Made This Way 

Imagine a world like this: a world that is cold and cruel outside yet a woman can’t be a calm refuge from it. A woman shouldn’t express her emotions or wear her heart on her sleeve. She must adopt the masculine and shun the feminine because the masculine is the only thing that is valued. She isn’t allowed to retain an air of childlike innocence even though she is grown. She must be cold, uncaring and independent. In a world where marketplace achievement is the only thing that is ultimately valued she’s told feminine submissiveness, dependence and the showing of emotions will only repel men. Yet the moment she adopts the masculine values she bears the brunt of every “stick up your ass” joke around.

We live in a world where women are attacked just for the simple art of homemaking and harassed even by those that they love and family members for not having a “job” because once again the masculine is the only thing that has value. Women will medicate themselves just so they don’t do something unforgivable such as daring to cry at work. Modern men complain about emotional women or a woman’s tears yet they don’t like it when women adopt masculine values and become more like the men either. They like feminine women so long as they don’t have to deal with them. They like submissive women so long as they don’t have to take care of them.

Men can write ten-page reports about how unfeminine the modern American woman is using the most vulgar language imaginable and degrading women in every way conceivable yet women are not allowed to say a word about “manhood” or say a word about what they think a “real man” might actually be or how men should talk to or treat women or act around women. If any woman ever talked even a fraction of the way about men that most MRA men talk about women she’d probably be charged with a hate crime.

It’s not OK to be feminine. It’s not OK to cry or show emotion or love or empathy or be nurturing. Baking a pie with love has no value, but making a paycheck does. A woman should be able to drink beer just as good as any man and brag about her inability to cook.

Women are irrational creatures, yet nobody would even be alive in this world if women weren’t as no rational creature would put up with a man’s shit, or want to be penetrated, or deal with pregnancy, etc… It is that irrationality and emotion that brought each person alive into this world and nurtured you when you were yet a helpless infant unable to do anything but suck and scream. It’s that childlikeness that felt and cared and loved. Sometimes it’s unreasonable but it’s not always easy dealing with girl emotions and fluctuating hormones, yet somehow we survive it. Sometimes a woman just needs to cry and sometimes she needs to be told to shut up. Much as the way a child often cries over small things that an adult finds absurd, such is the way with women. Sometimes it’s fit throwing and sometimes it’s real pain. 

It is that lost art of homemaking and showing feminine sweetness and vulnerability that has turned the modern woman unattractive and destroyed the distinctiveness of the masculine and the feminine that should complement each other and work with each other, instead of against each other. But it doesn’t really matter how bad things are, it’s not ok to be traditionally feminine in this world and if you are everyone will hate you. 

Why I am an Anti-Feminist Woman Part II

Why am I an anti-feminist woman?

1) I want my man to be chivalrous: My man has always paid for our dates and held doors open for me. He doesn’t expect a woman to pay because he knows that is his job. He is not the type of man who believes women and men are equal because he believes women should be protected and taken care of. He does not throw our society’s mainstream vision of equality back in my face by telling me to pay my own way, open my own doors, and fight our wars. “Of course, when you wipe out masculine men, you also eliminate gentlemen, the kind of men who would defend and protect a lady-like the gentlemen who remained on the Titanic. Of the ship’s survivors, 94 percent of those in first-class and 81 percent of those in second class were women.”[1]

2) I don’t want to be “equal”: I know as a woman I am already of great worth. I don’t have to go out into the workforce to prove myself. It does not make me inferior if my husband pays the bills and has all the money because that means he is assuming responsibility as a father and husband and providing our needs. I don’t want the burdens that have been forced upon wives and mothers because of feminism. I want my husband to have the legal obligation to provide my needs and the needs of our child and I want him to be the head of household. I do not want to be treated like a man. “Different but equal” is a term that contradicts itself.

To ameliorate the problems caused by society’s overvaluation of male marketplace activities and women’s dissatisfactions with a traditional female role, masculinity must be reinforced. Only a man secure in his masculinity will place a high value on the traditional female role and exert himself to make that role viable. The fiber of effete, attenuated, androgynous males must be shored up so that they can happily marry, reproduce, and assume responsibility for supporting a family. A man secure in his masculinity will not usually believe himself suited to the female role, but he will respect the woman who assumes it and take pride in providing for her and their children. Such a man will afford his wife the security and affirmation that enable her to deal with the troubling aspects of her role and perform it with satisfaction.[2]

A sea of change had occurred in men who only two decades before had taken pride in their ability to provide for wife and children. With scarcely a whimper, many males accepted the new androgyny and capitulated to the very feminist demands which have impaired their earning ability. Then, they too encouraged their wives to leave children hostage to the vagaries of surrogate care and pursue the economic opportunities which would spare husbands from assuming the now apparently overwhelming role of breadwinner.[3]

3) I want to be valued for the natural work I do: Our society does not see woman’s natural work of pregnancy, birth and child nurturing as work or as worthwhile. They tell us we do not do our part unless we are held to all the responsibilities of men. This is simply not true. As women we naturally do our part for we are the ones that bring life into this world. I want to be valued and cherished for the work I naturally do. We spend months and years of our lives to bring the next generation forth and it should be counted as more than just doing our part and respected. Feminists have never seen us as doing our part and have forced us to take on the man’s burden of supporting the family and have tried many times to get Congress to draft us. “But if women are to be citizens and citizens are to be subject to the draft, women should take the responsibilities as well as the rights of citizenship…”[4]

…While androgyny advances the feminist cause, it is for the traditional person the ultimate perversion. Because of its essential elimination of what is singularly masculine or feminine, an ideology of androgyny is an attack on the biological constitution of society, a muting of the excitement created by that sexual distinctiveness and complementarity most conducive to satisfying heterosexuality. The widespread desexualization of our lives through a proliferation of androgynous styles has created fallow soil for growth of contemporary feminism. Societal acceptance of androgyny has validated feminist efforts to trivialize sexual differences. When androgyny becomes fashionable, women will become diffident about, even somewhat ashamed of, the sexual differentiation announced by their reproductive capability. Striving to become more like men, they will eschew the distinctively feminine satisfaction inherent in being female.[5]

4) I treasure my sexuality and my body: Feminists have for decades told us to pursue sex on the same terms as men and that double standards are holding us back. We are pressured from a young age to have sex and to be ashamed if we have not had sex. I remember being so ashamed of being a virgin that I had to lie to everyone I knew about sexual encounters that never even happened. It’s a pitiful thing when young women don’t understand their inherent worth and feel they must participate in sexual activity in order to feel accepted and loved. Sex for a woman will never be the same as sex for a man.

“ In the past, men had to commit before they could have sex. As a result, women were cherished for themselves and given a lifelong role that satisfied their deepest emotional needs.

Both mothers and daughters are victims of deliberate social subversion. A woman’s career used to be wife and mother. She consecrated her sexuality for the man she loved, the father of her children, her protector and provider.”[6]

Dworkin depicts sexual intercourse as a much more momentous experience for a woman than a man, because it is ‘an act of possession in which…a man inhabits a woman, physically covering her and overwhelming her and at the same time penetrating her…By thrusting into her, he takes her over. His thrusting into her is taken to be her capitulation to him as a conqueror; it is a physical surrender of herself to him; he occupies and rules her, expresses his elemental dominance over her…’ In intercourse, says Dworkin, a woman ‘is occupied- physically, internally, in her privacy.'” Her depiction might be considered an outrageous exaggeration (many of Dworkin’s critics so characterize it), but I find it a dramatic portrayal-from the woman’s, but not necessarily from the man’s perspective- of sexual intercourse at its best. Dworkin describes an overwhelmingly personal, a truly awe-inspiring, event in which a woman should shrink in horror from participating on any basis even remotely casual. One might think that in her lifetime a woman would meet few men that she considers worthy of exercising such power over her. This may explain why women often invest their romantic relationships with a meaning the facts do not support, endeavoring to convince themselves that the man is what he is not and that the woman means much more to him than she truly does.[7]

Notes:

1. Schlafly, P., Feminist Fantasies. Spence, 2003.
2. Graglia, C.F., Domestic Tranquility: a brief against feminism. p.151. Spence, 1998.
3. ibid., p.40.
4. http://www.amazon.com/Firing-William-Buckley-Rights-Amendment/dp/B007Q3QMEW/ref=pd_ybh_1
5. “Domestic Tranquility,” p. 61.
6. http://www.thetotalcollapse.com/feminists-surprised-their-daughters-are-sluts/
7. “Domestic Tranquility,” p. 173.

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