Tag Archives: illegitimacy

Welfare Mothers are not Solely Responsible for the Explosion of Out-of-Wedlock Births

My father came to visit a few weeks ago. I really have had nothing to do with my father or most any of my family for many years now. If my father ever comes around it is only because my husband needs help with some construction project he is working on. Usually if he ever does come around I cry for many days afterwards or am left with a bitterness and sickness for the things he has done to me and my mother and the things he says.

My dad could be considered your typical MRA (whether he actually identifies as such or not). He’s never really been a victim or anything in his life yet somehow he still has a victim mentality and complains over and over about how “victimized” men are today. The last time he was over he ran his mouth so much my husband had to ask him to leave. He kept talking of “if I had a son” how he would tell him to watch out for! and be careful! of all these women having multiple pregnancies just for the child support and welfare money and on and on. I finally had enough and challenged him head on and told him flat out that men have gained all these rights in the last 40 years to illegitimate children yet they just don’t like the price they are now paying for it. They like getting the goods of feminism but they don’t like it when they have to actually pay the price for it. They implement policies requiring the mother to identify the father (for welfare) then turn around and complain when she does it! They want to be able to have their pleasure at the woman’s expense and then be allowed to walk completely free of the consequences of the sex act.

The truth of the matter is that it takes two to tango. It takes both a mother and a father to make a baby and it is entirely nonsensical to lay the entire blame of illegitimacy and single motherhood solely upon welfare mothers. Single motherhood is bad. Single mothers depending on welfare without a father in the home is bad. This is not even something worth arguing about because all around it is a bad thing and most everyone sees it as a bad thing to a certain extent. It is conservatives and men’s groups that implemented polices forcing unwed mothers to have to identify the father and make him pay child support in order to be eligible for welfare. Yet at the same time they turn around and complain about unwed mothers collecting child support and welfare! I’ve read plenty of conservative and anti-feminist books that talk about the explosion of illegitimacy happening at the same time unwed mothers were first allowed to collect welfare. Yet none of them ever seem to mention that unwed fathers gained unconditional rights equal to the mother’s and married father’s at the exact same time. Is it really to be believed that the entire blame for illegitimacy rests on the shoulders of the welfare mother and unwed fathers having legal custodial rights has nothing at all to do with it?

“As the laws now stand, a man who has any casual sexual encounters with a woman (even a one-night stand) that results in a pregnancy, he might not even know her last name or care, yet he is now given the exact same legal rights to a child as the mother from the moment of birth. Even though he has basically contributed, invested, risked NOTHING during the entire process, other then a recreational sperm deposit. Meanwhile a woman who has carried, nurtured, and invested herself for 9 months in producing another human being, not to mention a bloody and painful delivery at the end of the period, has her status downgraded to mirror that of a recreational sperm donor. Both have suddenly become equal in the eyes of the law.”(1)

I most certainly have known quite a few women having babies with multiple fathers. It ends bad for these mothers and for the fathers as well because legitimacy is subsidized and not marriage. A “committed relationship” is not good enough. Marriage (monogamous, heterosexual marriage) must be the only acceptable way for respectable sex or raising children. I have a distant cousin who has had three different babies out of wedlock and collects welfare and child support (two of them actually have the same father, but she didn’t even know that until the time to find him for child support). She lives in the projects and a couple of her kids even have developmental problems. Nobody has probably ever even told her that she needs to make her children legitimate and find a husband to provide for her. All she knows is that she’s entitled to welfare and child support money from the father (if she can find him). (She’s tried to get sterilized but the doctors won’t perform sterilization on her despite the fact that she’s a welfare mother with three illegitimate children. I guess we can’t complain about what we enable can we?)

I don’t really think women are out having babies just for the child support money like MRAs seem to think. I’ve never seen a woman out living high on the hog on child support money. First, she has no guarantee of even collecting even half of what she’s due and second it wouldn’t be enough money to cover the basic expenses anyways so there would be no benefit. And if the father is rich enough for it to be worth it then he would be able to wield enough influence to get out of it or get whatever he wanted in court, including taking the child away from her. Mostly I think women are taught that it’s OK to have sex with or live with a boyfriend then they end up pregnant and are stuck in bad situations. Nobody forces the issue of marriage. Also I think some women are just promiscuous and pregnancy happens as an accident so they collect welfare and support as they are “entitled” to- as they have been taught to. Whatever the case, changes need to happen.

I believe the entire system needs to be redone. The real problem with unwed mothers being allowed child support is that it creates family instability and makes men more irresponsible. It also makes it near impossible for a man to be able to financially provide for a family within the context of marriage if he has to pay for a child he had with a woman who he is not married to. This makes it harder for good women who just want to be wives and mother to find men to be providers for families. These men might have wanted to be married and provide for a wife and children at one point but it becomes a near impossibility if they have to keep shelling out money to a woman who is constantly whoring around and with whom he doesn’t even have a relationship with.

Policies need to be implemented that subsidize marriage and mothers in the home and that help unwed mothers to find husbands to provide for them and get married. Also we need strong policies that reach out to men and help them become providers and give them more opportunities to move up in their careers. Simply identifying the father of a child is not good. Giving child support to unwed mothers who are living in poverty might seem like a good and compassionate thing that is helping them but in reality it actually harms them and makes it to where even more children are born illegitimate and into poverty and makes the problem worse. It brings the father into the child’s life outside of the context of marriage and sets mother and child upon a path to be hurt and abused in many cases. It sets mother and child up for endless hassle and endless misery and heartache. Men should not have to support illegitimate children nor should they be allowed to lay any claim on them (at least not the same as the mother or married father can). Conservatives will come and say single mothers need to work for welfare, which also contributes to more children in daycare and more broken families and eliminates male responsibility-true male responsibility- from the picture. Child support is not male responsibility, it is a flight from it.

The main problem with single motherhood is that men don’t have to marry anymore to have respectable sex or paternal rights. Sex is really the only bargaining power women have. Men have bargaining power in terms of their money-making power and social status. In intimate relationships and in more primitive societies they also have the bargaining power of physical strength and most men can render a woman helpless very quickly and easily if they really wanted to. Men could control women by pure force if it came down to it or they really wanted to (and many have throughout time and still do today). But sexual bargaining power is what women have, and feminism and the sexual revolution has stripped all that bargaining power away from women. In order to counteract the problem of out of wedlock births women need to be allowed to use their sexual bargaining power to get men into marriage. Women should also refuse to put the father on the birth certificate until he marries her. Society needs to grant to single mothers the means to get married and stay home to nurture their children and care for their families. So long as women are sexually free and illegitimacy is subsidized women cannot use their sexual bargaining power. The girl who holds out for sex until she finds a man who will marry and provide for her could be waiting a long time as feminism has made masculine men willing to be providers for families nearly go extinct.

“Men’s fixation on casual sex with many women, which was enabled by feminism, places many women today at an extreme disadvantage. As women appear to be still using the age-old strategy of sex as a way to build a relationship, with a pregnancy expected to close the deal via a marriage proposal. Unfortunately it’s not working that way anymore and the result is millions of women being left high and dry with a pregnancy that does not result in a marriage. Thus either an abortion or single motherhood follows.”(2)

Men may complain about affirmative action, welfare and socialism but in the end everyone benefits from it in some way or another. We no longer care for our own and men no longer wish to support families (not without the mother “pulling her own weight” anyways) so the only other option is for women and children to be supported by the welfare system in which all citizens are collectively responsible. Men don’t want women to have any advantage via affirmative action to support themselves but they don’t want to support women so what other choice is there?

I think there are several things that can be done to rectify the current situation, none of which most feminists and MRAs will be too happy about because it entails both male authority (which feminists hate) and male responsibility (which MRAs hate).

First, unwed mothers and divorced women should not be allowed welfare. I would say there should be some exceptions in the case of women who are victims of rape or abuse though. Policies should be implemented to help and encourage unwed mothers to find a husband (instead of simply identifying/finding the father). No adult males should be allowed support or assistance to raise children. Men should be the ones providing support, not receiving it (this is how it always was before the 1960s and 1970s until feminists gender neutralized welfare and child support).

Fatherhood should not be legally recognized outside of marriage (or adoption). The marriage license should be the woman’s consent to have sex with the man she is to marry and the man’s consent to support her and be a father to her children. The marriage is a public declaration that this man, her husband, will be the one to father her children. A woman’s husband should always be the legal father of her children (except in adultery cases where the father should be given a strict time period after the child is born to divorce her for adultery, with penalties laid upon him for false accusations of adultery against his wife, or forever hold his peace on the matter). If a man has sex with a woman and/or impregnates her then he should be required to marry her. Even if there is a possibility that the child might not biologically be his it shouldn’t matter. His marriage to her should be his consent to be the father to the child, with all the rights and responsibilities it entails. The biological father should not be allowed to interfere in any way. If a woman does have an affair and commit adultery yet her husband decides to stay with her and legitimate the child anyways he should not be allowed to back out years later and abandon the child.

It is absolutely insane how bad things have gotten and I believe women and children have been hurt the worst of all. Women are not solely to blame for the prevalence of illegitimacy in our society. Men’s denial of responsibility for women, marriage, and the provider role, I believe, is at the very heart of the problem. The only answer is marriage and the de-legitimizing of illegitimacy.

Related Articles:

It’s Everybody’s Fault

The Legitimacy Principle and the Good of Patriarchy

The Wrongs of the Men’s Movement

The Case Against Illegitimacy

Coverture and the Criminalization of Pregnancy

“…You might think it would be hard to find someone who falls into the “pro-criminalizing pregnant women” camp. Sadly, you’d be wrong. A dangerous bill​ has wormed its way through the Tennessee legislature that would allow prosecutors to bring criminal assault charges against women who use drugs during pregnancy.

In all seriousness, it’s encouraging to see Cosmo publish a thorough take-down of this bill. It’s a sign that deep misgivings about the needless expansion of our criminal justice system are now so widely held that they’ve reached pop culture salience. For decades, this country has ratcheted up the number of crimes on the books and the length of time we lock people up, pushing the number of people under correctional control to about 7 million. Many of these people would be better served outside of the criminal justice system entirely.” (1)

“In the first legislative victory of its kind, the Tennessee Senate and House have now passed a measure that would allow criminal assault charges to be brought against Tennessee women who use drugs during their pregnancy. Now the legislation heads to Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam (R) for either his signature or his veto.

The bill allows women to avoid prosecution if they enroll in a rehab program and complete it, but critics say it could actually keep drug-addicted pregnant women from seeking the treatment they want and need. The law, if passed, would be the first of its kind in the nation.

“Women who are addicted will no longer go to their prenatal health appointments or if they do go, they won’t be honest with their doctors because they’re afraid to end up in jail,” Glass told Cosmopolitan.com. She also noted that the medical community has rejected this bill.

The American College of Obstetricians Gynecologists (ACOG) notes that criminalization has proved to be ineffective and it urges physicians to oppose legislation that punishes women for substance abuse during pregnancy. ACOG also decisively states that drug enforcement policies that deter women from seeking prenatal care are “contrary to the welfare of the mother and the fetus.”

This bill says nothing of fathers’ responsibility for fetal health, as this bill would only allow for punishment of the pregnant woman. The legal blame for NAS falls solely on the pregnant woman.” (2)

April 29: Tennessee governor sings SB 1391 despite widespread calls for a veto and objections from doctors.

It is an obvious fact of life that only women can get pregnant and everything the mother does and the environment she is in affects the fetus. The nine months spent in the womb affect us across our entire lifespans. Some women have problems and addictions that affect their pregnancy and unborn babies and now our government seeks to lay criminal penalties on the mother-and only the mother- for the result of her pregnancy.( And this is not the only case like this I have seen in the past few years such as punishing women for miscarriages if they act “irresponsible.”) Addiction during pregnancy is bad enough by itself but what I want to know is where is the father’s responsibility for fetal health if he wishes rights to the child the same as the mother? I believe we have a real and true problem of male irresponsibility in society today. In the past men were expected to be married to the mother in order to be legally recognized as the father of the child. As well, they were the guardians of their wives. This lessened after coverture was officially ended in the late 19th century but married women had many protections up until the 1970s and many aspects of coverture remained in law even holding the husband responsible for his wife’s actions to a certain extent.

Today there are no such protections. A sex-blind society is the rule today. But the only problem is that it is unrealistic. Men and women are not on equal terms no matter what crazy gender-neutralized laws we as a society can think up of. Now we are going to throw pregnant women in jail for being on drugs and giving birth to babies with NAS (neonatal abstinence syndrome). The responsibility for the outcome of a pregnancy falls entirely onto the woman as she is the only one who can become pregnant. Men may not get a say in abortion but they still get rights to the resulting children when they are born, even if illegitimate they are granted the same legal rights as the mother (a major historical shift of the past 40 years). (I would consider married men getting veto power in abortion if the marriage placed the wife under coverture where the husband was responsible for her as in the past). I can just see this now. Father isn’t in the picture, mother is drug-addicted. She gives birth and gets thrown in jail then daddy comes walking up playing dad of the year and takes full custody of the child while mom takes all the blame. And of course the GOP is right there saying “there’s no war on women.” But there is a war on women that’s been going on since coverture was repealed.

Something is wrong here. A drug-addicted pregnant woman needs help. It should be the father’s responsibility to make sure that she gets the help that she needs and the woman’s responsibility to submit to being taken care of and taking care of her child. Since obviously men cannot get pregnant traditionally in order to be responsible for fetal health the father is held responsible for the well-being of the mother. Take care of the mother and you take care of the child as women and children are inseparable through the entire reproductive process. This also makes sure she can nurse the child as well. But today women must “stand on their own two feet” take all the responsibilities of citizenship and be treated as equal to men in our feminist and egalitarian world. It’s a nice fantasy but one that never quite pans out in reality. Men are not required to take appropriate responsibility for women and children and can leave them completely on their own with no concern for what conditions they are living in or if the mother even has food to eat or medical care.

Another thing is women who have their children taken from them at birth because they were drug addicted. Most are required to get off the drugs and to get a job to prove they are responsible. But how about get treatment, be married and stay home to care for the child? That seems like a much better and more logical solution but nobody cares about mothers actually caring for their children or ensuring their children are legitimate and look at the damage around us as a result. If she doesn’t marry the father he won’t grow up and learn responsibility. She and her child will probably never be stable and secure or ever get out of poverty or unsafe living conditions. Marriage must matter to us as a society and coverture is an important and long-forgotten aspect of it that places women under guardianship.

Another thing that bothers me is pregnant women in jail. If she is not violent and/or dangerous then where is the father to take responsibility for her? Dating back thousands of years and in numerous civilizations marriage erased a woman’s previous debts and obligations and she became the responsibility of her husband (but, of course, she was required to accept guardianship and her husband’s authority and sexual regulation). Women are not men and have special circumstances in life. Men’s duties must be to protect women. Women are becoming more masculine and more violent and aggressive and it showcases the need of men to intervene and be authoritative once again so that women must act appropriate as ladies and accept male guardianship to protect them and their families.

Related: “When Women Act Bad”

Why Young Women Shouldn’t Listen to their Mother’s Generation

I sit snuggled up under a blanket watching the snows fall outside as I write this. My husband is not here now. Every day he works to take care of us, to support and protect us. I take care of our child everyday. I keep our house clean and cook. I know that I don’t have to worry about anything.

Instead of envying women who are very “successful” out there I can only really feel sorry for them. When I was younger I know my mother used to fill my head with thoughts of all the things that I could “do with my life.” I could be a superstar, a lawyer, the next president, whatever (housewife was never on the list though). And yes, yes I could have been all of those things. Maybe. I was told to get a job, be “smart,” go to college and do all the things that young women today are constantly told to do in order to secure our futures. But nobody ever told me that all of those things could actually rob me of my future or the misery that following such a life could actually cause me.

Oh I could have been a superstar for sure. I could have wasted my most precious years being a pawn to make somebody else rich until pop culture decided I was a “has been” and tossed me aside where my only hope for remaining relevant was by gracing the covers of those trashy magazines you see in the supermarket checkout lanes with my latest divorce scandal. I could have wasted my youth on some career. I could have slept with many different men and had babies by several different daddies then realized when I hit middle age that all men were pigs and younger men are just such the way to go! Maybe I could have lived with some guy about half my age who mooches off of me for my money while I trudge off to work everyday in some old clunker to my lovely job at the supermarket.

Or lets say maybe I went to college and got some fancy career. I’d probably have married a guy that expected me to keep working after we were married. If we ended up having children (probably one boy and one girl, wouldn’t want to be unfashionable now) we’d probably be in a war. I might not have been able to quit my job because of all the college debts and all the debts we’ve accumulated by buying everything new and fancy on credit. We would probably fight because of the *unfair* burden I’ve all of a sudden dropped in his lap by wanting to stay home with the kids (the mangina I married that supported my career with great enthusiasm probably wouldn’t want anything to do with being the breadwinner). That lovely career wouldn’t be so lovely after all especially since it would now have to get interrupted not only in the amount of money I would make but also I’d probably be a burden on my employer once he has to give me maternity leave and disrupt his business (or maybe my boss would be a woman which would mean I’d probably get even less sympathy).

Maybe I could have been the breadwinner. A couple years later my husband would probably be feeling quite emasculated and gone out and had an affair with some woman with much less money and career prospects than me. We’d probably split up and I’d never see my kids any (he was the caretaker after all!) and still be supporting his dead a**.

Yes, what I life I could have had. I look around at my generation and my mothers generation. Most of those around me have had babies with more than one father/mother. Most are divorced (many two or three times). A cousin of mine by marriage married a man (a distant cousin of mine) with two ex-wives and three other kids and I had to hear the entire tale of her troubles because now she’s had a child with him too. She can’t understand why children from “blended” families just can’t have quite the same opportunities as those from two-parent families that remained intact. She would tell me all about how her momma taught her to never depend on no man and how she supported her family. She got irate at me for my anti-feminist views and told me if I didn’t want rights that was my problem but she asserts her “rights.” Her entire tax return went to pay her husband’s back child-support to his 2 other ex-wives (who, of course, in her view were “deadbeats” expecting a man to support them). Unfortunately, this story is nothing new and is quite common in today’s world. These women are liberated and they generally get tangled up in bad relationships and never really have any prosperity for themselves or their children.

This is feminism’s legacy. This is the path our mothers were teaching us to follow and many young women today are still following it. If you are a young woman, please do some thinking about what the mainstream is telling you. I’m not telling you to be some goody two-shoes here but I am telling you that as a female you are mentally and physically a world apart from males. Unless you are undeniably gifted in an area and are sure that it is the path you want to follow and you never want marriage or kids, think twice about going off to college! If you get that degree you will only attract men who have no interest in financially supporting you or maybe even marrying you. You don’t have to be a virgin (although it would be best) but your body is precious and you must make sure that you do not get pregnant by anyone but your husband (or, if nothing else, at least the man you intend to be your husband). Put sex to work, make him support you via marriage. If he’s already got a child with another woman (or, heaven forbid, more than one child), do not marry him or have children with him! No matter if the divorce or break up was “his fault” or not it doesn’t matter. Getting with him will only cause you to be right in the middle of all of his problems and you will never know peace and there will be nothing but strain in your relationship and confusion in the lives of your children about their place in life. If you have children with more than one man you will face the same difficulties and lower your value in the eyes of good marriageable men out there.

Insist upon marriage to the father if you have gotten pregnant before marriage. Do not sign anything to acknowledge him as the legal father until he legally marries you. Make him support you and form a real and true relationship with him. If marriage to the father is not possible or he is not a good man, do not inform him that you are pregnant and try to find a good man who will marry you despite your situation. Just be truthful to him and faithful.

I know we’ve been told all of our lives how *wonderful* feminism has been, but it’s nothing but a lie. We as women have to throw the women’s lib mindset away. Just get rid of it. This mindset is what’s holding you back, not widespread “misogyny.” Women today are in a terrible way because of what feminism has done but we can change that. We women are powerful by virtue of being women as we hold incredible influence over men. Most men can be reformed but it’s not going to happen unless women make it clear that feminists do not speak for all women and that if our men will lead, we will follow. Most men want to take charge anyways, it’s in their nature. They’ve just had the masculinity indoctrinated out of them since childhood because of feminism.

It is actually more beneficial to society for us as young women to not have jobs. Our joblessness will cause men to be men and be productive to support us and our children. Young women would almost always do better focusing on their children while the father goes out and works to support them. Think twice before going off to college. You can educate yourself in numerous ways. Read books or watch instructional DVDs for all the things you want to learn and know about. If you go to college you will only trap yourself if you do get married and have kids in the future. Don’t live with your boyfriend until you hit middle age. If you do that then you’ve given away your youth, you’ve given away your bargaining power for marriage. I don’t care what Katie Couric, your mother and your career orientation teacher tells you, don’t listen!

Don’t let anyone put you down because you have kids young or get married young. Our ancestors had children very young and they were much happier than we are today and their marriages lasted. They weren’t concerned about “teenage pregnancy”- they were concerned about legitimacy and society and individual family units were much better off and successful. Simply insist that marriage is the way because it is the only thing that is going to ensure you and your children’s long-term happiness and prosperity (unless you really want to let mulitple men use and abandon you, live with a boyfriend who will probably only cheat on you, be constantly looking for someone to watch your kids, work at some dead-end job and have a double burden and have constant court battles with the father who probably never pays a dime of support).

Be willing to let the men in your life lead. We have been told all our lives that we should fear ever going back to a time when men were in charge of things but we have no real reason to fear such a thing. These thoughts were put in our heads by those who wanted to put antagonism between men and women and tear families apart. They were put in our heads by those who wanted to exploit women, not protect women. If we let our men be in charge then their first priority will be to represent our best interests and the community overall will be concerned about men doing right by women and children.

On the Need for Patriarchy: Another Case Against Unwed Fathers

Here we go again. Oh, yes, that’s right MRAs, “women have all the rights and men have all the responsibilities”- or not. Another case that caught my attention earlier. Here we are again, this shows our desperate need for patriarchy and stable family units. Men being allowed to claim paternal rights to children whose mothers they were never legally married to is a terrible thing and has caused the destruction of many intact families as well as forcing women to be single mothers or go into hiding to protect themselves and their children. I say patriarchy because patriarchy is male responsibility and men caring for and protecting women and children. It is power into the hands of a married father to prevent the destruction of his family and prevent another man from interfering no matter the genetic relationship. This is why marriage is important and why the traditional family matters. No woman should have to share her reproductive life with a man who refuses to accept responsibility for her and create a real and true family with her. Yet that is exactly what is happening to women today. Through our view of “equal rights” the sexes must be treated the same no matter how illogical. And since the 1970s unwed fathers have been allowed to walk into children’s lives without having to offer marriage and financial support to the mother in return when she becomes pregnant. Now not only do men get the rights that once belonged exclusively to married men without having to take the same responsibilities, denying responsibility now comes with a whole host of legal and economic benefits for them. Until we realize that feminism doesn’t work and the traditional family is the only sure protection for women and children (and men too), these problems will continue to occur. The media, however, doesn’t want to report on this because it would mean backtracking and “setting the women’s movement back.” Setting the women’s movement back, however, is exactly what is needed.

Pregnant Women Baby-Factories First, Humans Never

“Sara McKenna briefly dated Olympic skier Bode Miller in California in 2012 and became pregnant. Miller rejected McKenna’s requests for his involvement as a father. When McKenna asked Miller to go to an ultrasound with her, he refused and told her via text, “U made this choice against my wish.” It’s hard to interpret this statement as anything other than Miller wanting McKenna to get an abortion.

Seven months pregnant, McKenna decided to go to college and moved to New York. This didn’t sit well with Miller, who began legal action to declare his paternity and gain custody of the child. After he’d refused to support McKenna through the pregnancy and be an active father, he turned around and demanded custody.

When McKenna had her child, a boy she named Samuel Bode Miller-McKenna, she filed for custody in New York. But in May, the family court rejected her claim, accused her of “unjustifiable conduct,” and bounced the custody case back to California. This is highly unusual given that the baby was born and lived in New York.

In September, Miller and his wife came to McKenna’s home and took Sam away. Thankfully, the New York appeals panel has overturned the family court ruling, and the custody battle will be decided in New York.

The family court ruled that McKenna “did not ‘abduct’ the child,” which really shouldn’t have to be stated at all. Of course she didn’t abduct Sam—he’s her own son, and at the time, he was living in her uterus and not exactly easily removed. But the court insisted, “her appropriation of the child while in utero was irresponsible, reprehensible.”’

Men are Self-Made Victims

The MRA mantra: “My flight from male responsibility has come back around to bite me in the a**”

It’s a common theme among MRAs and men today to complain about women not taking “responsibility” (ie, not taking on men’s responsibilities) yet also to complain about divorce, promiscuity and child support. Apparently, men are even complaining about women not paying for dates these days. (1) They want women to be independent and take on their traditional responsibilities, yet they complain when these same independent women divorce them and cheat on them.

Now how am I supposed to feel sorry for these men? Simply put, I don’t feel sorry for them. They wouldn’t be having these problems if they accepted traditional male responsibilities for providing for and protecting women in the first place. But, since they reject these responsibilities and instead want women to share in them they now have to pay the price for it- and they don’t like it one bit.

Study after study has shown that independent women are more likely to cheat and initiate divorce. It’s not even debatable anymore. The more independent the wife, the more likely she is to do her husband wrong. Yet, men today, while complaining about the sour deal they’ve apparently gotten from feminism, still refuse to accept traditional responsibilities. The truth of the matter is that they are responsible for feminism. It was- and still is- a movement that promised them they would no longer have to carry the traditional male burdens alone but that instead women would share in them. Their movement today is about nothing more than complaining about the price they have to pay for supporting feminism, female promiscuity and breadwinner wives.

Women’s willingness to engage in casual sex with them without commitment is fun- until, of course, the men have to pay for the illegitimate children and don’t get a say in abortion. Then, all of a sudden they are “victims.” Claiming rights to illegitimate children is fun for them because they don’t have to take responsibility to have these rights. But, of course, it always comes back around to bite them in the backside when another man can intrude himself into his household when he has a family of his own. (2)

Women’s willingness to carry half of the financial burden is fun- until, of course, men can only stand by and watch when their wives file for divorce and take the kids. Then, of course, the men, once happy with women sharing in their burdens, are “victims.” But, hey, their wives don’t *need* them anymore so what is to stop them from filing for divorce? You men wanted them independent and now they are. If you don’t like this turn of events there’s only one way to stop it… (3)

Maybe by now you get my point. Men today are certainly facing injustices, but they are, in fact, self-made victims. Women today are self-made victims as well. They complain about irresponsible men but women are the ones who have made men that way. If men get what they want outside of marriage (sex, paternal rights) then women can’t have security in marriage nor can they expect men will be too overly willing to be breadwinners. Women can’t claim independent status then expect men to protect them. Of course women today don’t always want protection from men nor support and it does in the end come back around to hurt them. Feminists in the name of “all women” sold women out. MRAs, in the name of “all men” have sold men out.

Men wanted to be free from financial responsibilities for women and the traditional duties of men such as the draft. Women wanted to be independent and sexually “free.” Now both sexes pay the price for it.

Somebody asked me once if I was against “men’s rights.” The simple answer is that I am for men’s rights, but only when attached to it comes men’s responsibility. I am wholly against the MRA version of men’s rights because they want both the goods of feminism and the goods of tradition. Men today want (and increasingly have) rights without responsibility. But not all of the rights they once had, of course. They can’t expect to get a say over their wives bodies’ when they don’t have to support her for life or can instead demand support from her. I am in favor of husbands (not boyfriends or sexual partners) having a say in birth control and abortion but only when attached to it comes the responsibility to forever support their wives. If the wife carries his burdens then, in my opinion, the husband does not deserve such rights. The original deal for men sharing in the reproductive life of a woman was that they offer up financial support. Men have broken that deal thus what is their argument for getting a say in reproduction?

Men, of course, were the ones who made feminism possible because they have always held the majority of political and economic power. They supported feminism because it was a good deal for them- until it all blew up in their faces.

Plain and simple- men’s rights must come with men’s responsibility. And if you men have come so far in rejecting responsibility for women that you can’t even pay for a simple date then what does that say about you? You’ve already shown the woman from the beginning that you have no intention of taking care of her, providing for her, or treating her any different than you would your guy friends, so why should she respect you or give up anything for you?

And, girls, a man’s willingness (or not) to pay for dates is a good indicator of what kind of a husband he will be. If he won’t pay for the date, dump him. Plain and simple. After all, what happens if you do marry him or get pregnant (even if you aren’t planning on having kids)? Dating a man gives you an opportunity to see his true character. Putting him to the test (does he pay for dates? Will he leave if I turn him down for sex?) will tell you whether or not you should continue seeing him. Be true to your own morals and remember that being sexually faithful (in marriage!) is the woman’s responsibility.