Desire is an interesting thing. As a teenager I never remember having any actual *desire* for sex. For guys, obviously, things are much different but it oftentimes takes the female sex quite a while to not only discover how our bodies are made but desire, it seems, is something that has to be awakened in us. It’s something that comes in time.
Even still it’s never a black or white issue. Desire for a woman can be strong for a moment but then in the next instant it can be gone. I think that’s because there are multiple things that come into play when it comes to female desire.
It’s always humorous in a way to look back and think of how badly every male around wanted to get it and all of the things they’d try. I know I was never even interested. Some worked pretty hard to get it too. I remember even attracting some of the more “alpha” types who’d try to get it. The guys used all kinds of techniques to try. I might have been attracted to some of them, but it still wasn’t ever enough for me to give it up. No matter how long I knew them still nothing ever changed.
It wasn’t just teenage boys or young men but I also had plenty of older men try it too. I heard every line in the book. Some men tried to make themselves look like they were all that or act like assholes, some would offer “something better” up to me, some would flatter me, etc…, etc…, but I just thought they were all ridiculous. The ones who tried to play the asshole game with me just came off as loud-mouthed arrogant idiots to be honest and all the other guys I saw as weak. I had lots of guy friends and I don’t remember a single one, besides a couple that were gay, that didn’t want it or didn’t try to get it at some point. They all failed (but apparently some still went around bragging as though they got it even though they didn’t).
Still not much has changed today. I still can’t see the point even if I feel any sexual urge of letting some guy in just because it sounds like fun. How can I even know it would be fun anyways? It kind of sounds gross to be honest. What if he’s no good? Am I going to waste myself on the guy? I mean, a man could just LOOK at a woman to know she’d be good (unless she’s got some kind of health issue down there or something or does something to really put him off), no matter her experience (or lack of it).
Of course, being married I wouldn’t let another man touch me. If my husband started not wanting to take care of me and support me I wouldn’t give it to him either. I would love him but that doesn’t mean I’d give it to him if he treated me bad and didn’t want to support me. Women leave men they love every day and as well women deny sex to the men that they love very frequently.
For me a man would have to have a very high status in my life in order for me to give him sex. Obviously husband= high status (highest status) but even when I was single in the past (or if I was for some reason ever single in the future) a man still had (would have) to have a high status in my life for him to ever get sex from me.
That’s why for me none of the game or pick-up techniques ever had any effect. Good “game” did make several men more appealing in my eyes, but still never enough for my legs to open (or any other part of my anatomy either). It just didn’t work because the men had no real status in my life and ultimately that’s what it’s all about- status.
For a girl going to a bar looking to be picked up this might be different but I’ve never been the type wanting to get picked up by a man so his tricks and games would never have any effect. There has always been this appeal and an almost willingness to give it up to a guy who was doing things for me or helping me, etc… and who did seem to have appeal and confidence because he did have at least a temporary status but it still wasn’t quite convincing enough.
It’s noteworthy here that the word status comes up a lot and seems to be the key ingredient. While men may be visual creatures and have a much stronger sex drive (on average) women are more lured in and turned on by a man’s status. In fact, let’s just be honest, without status what appeal does a man have (especially as he ages)? There are some really good looking men who seem to have women chasing them but if you notice even those men usually have status to go along with looks. A good looking guy with no status really isn’t all that appealing, even where an ugly man with high status can still get women. Even the best looking guy can’t just walk up to a woman and say “want to go have sex?” or get women to desire him. You can bet he’ll be turned down in all but the rarest of cases no matter his looks because he has no status. A good looking woman, however, could do the same and get a “yes” the majority of the time. Even strongly independent and feminist women don’t desire men without a status higher than theirs.