Tag Archives: game

Let It Hurt

Pain and suffering I hold deep in my heart. The feminine suffers pain in the heart and in the body, sometimes caused by the masculine. That’s just the way it is. I accept it, I embrace it, even when I can hardly endure it. It’s hard sometimes to withstand such pain. But I’m a woman. I bleed and I feel and it isn’t always pretty. I don’t always make sense of what I feel or of what I say- even to myself. But I’m a woman. I’m not meant to be understood. I’m not meant to be so stable. I’ll cry. I’ll scream sometimes. I’ll terrify the living Hell out of you with the storm that brews deep inside of me. Don’t try to understand me, just be that fortress that holds strong until the storm has passed.

But would you love me any other way? If I asked you to get down on your knees and cry, to show your softer side, to be emotional, to tell me how you really feel deep inside- would you like it? Would I offend you as a man? Would I be attracted to you if you became more like a woman? You know I wouldn’t, you feel it deep inside. I’d say and insist with my words that I want you to be that way, but I’d only hate you if you truly were. I’d only be repulsed if you truly were. So don’t ask me to shut down the storm inside, even when the waves are threatening and fierce, even when they rock the boat so much that it might capsize. The storm can’t be tamed or contained, only endured. It can destroy and it can heal. It has a dark side. I’ve known this to be true. I know that I feel it on the inside. There is a dark and dangerous side to femininity, as there is a dark side to masculinity. A man in a fit of rage can be terrifying to a woman as much as he is attractive to her, because he is displaying masculinity in its most pure and raw form, as a woman does with her nurturing and her emotions.

But ladies don’t hate him because he’s a man, don’t stamp out that masculinity (and on the flip-side, don’t ever let the world stamp out that feminine light within you. It’s OK to cry and be emotional, just like it’s OK for him to be withdrawn or even a bit aggressive). Just try to understand him, to feel him. And I know. I see it all the more every day. But I also know that peace of belonging completely to somebody, of holding the love of a capable and strong man, and it was worth the pain endured.

I remember how I laughed as we sat in the park eating peaches like teenagers. I clung to his arm for reassurance and protection as we walked together along the dam. Then I turned the heads of all the men who saw me like I always do. But I was docile- I didn’t actively seek their attention. I just existed. I was just a woman, letting my light shine. I know he withdraws, I feel him when he’s about to. He needs to. I need him to. But so long as I can still feel him, so long as I still have the assurance that he’s there, so long as I still have his love. I know that need. A man has to withdraw so as not to be clingy or needy and perhaps even to work on himself to improve himself, to sort through life’s problems the way a man does. That polarity has to exist in male-female interactions and it is ultimately the man’s burden and responsibility to keep the attraction going, even if it sometimes causes panic in a woman’s mind.

I look at the world and how it seems to hate masculinity, and even popular celebrities that decry men who try to run “game” on women. Pick-up-artistry is immoral for men who care nothing for women and seek to deceive them and use them, but men are ultimately doing it for women. Men want and need women and are constantly seeking to improve themselves to get women. Men have to be the seducers, or else nobody would ever be having sex- and that’s truth.

And I think I know. I think I know that on some level the man has to hurt you. It should never be extreme or abusive or with mal intent, but there has to be some level of pain on the emotional level. Sometimes there’s even pain on a physical level. But as a woman I cling to him, need him, and want him to take care of me because he’s strong. I need him to be strong- to be all the things that I am not- but being secure in his love and commitment. No woman wants a weak man any more than a man feels that deep attraction to a masculine woman who’s just “one of the guys”- even if both will take what’s in front of them until something better comes along.

Maybe all I am saying is this- let it hurt some, but only if the man is good and true and his intentions are true. Only for a man that will really always be there for you- your husband on the sexual level and trustworthy other men in your life that you look up to. Just as men have to stay strong and endure the storm that is female emotions (even when they want to run, and many in fact will run away fearing or unable to handle it), allow the man to seduce, to work his game. But only if the intent is to have a better relationship with you, only if the intent is to make himself stronger and more attractive to you and ultimately make himself a better man in the process.

My husband would withdraw a lot and sometimes it was annoying, sometimes I even bitched about it, but I understand that I wanted him to do that some. I didn’t want to be with a woman who wanted non-stop “connection.” But I knew he was committed to me so it wasn’t a problem. So long as I could still feel him, still know he was there and was true and devoted to me and fulfilling his responsibilities towards me, it didn’t matter. He even has women he talks to all the time. I’ve seen women calling him- and I have never even once given a damn because I know he’s good and true. I don’t even have the slightest clue where he is half of the time because I let him be a man and trust in his love for me.

I’ve let the men in my life beat me down some and accepted it when it wasn’t abusive, anyway. If they were just trying to protect me, or retain authority I consented to it. I knew I was being disregarded or pushed aside and I silently consented to it, just the same as I have cried and threw my tantrums and caused some havoc and the men have dealt with it. I’m a woman. I don’t want to be a man and I know that men, no matter what they might say, don’t ultimately want women to be or act like men do. They want women to be women- and we likewise want them to be men.

A woman will test a man, to make sure he’s still there for her, to see how strong he really is. Similarly, men will also test women to see her value and worth; to see if she’ll easily give in to him or if she is worth investing in, to see if she is morally superior to him and his own (often short-term) motivations. There isn’t a single good or bad thing that men inflict upon women that women don’t inflict something similar upon men in return- and that’s life.

Nonetheless, it’s a woman’s burden to weed out what a man’s true intentions are. Many manosphere men are damaged, and they attract damaged women in return. In the end they have nothing. You don’t want men like that and you don’t want to be the kind of woman these men attract and abuse. But don’t be annoyed or angry when he runs game, just filter out the intentions behind it. Men run game to be attractive; to be able to get and keep women- especially women of high value who value themselves and guard their sexuality.

Men are difficult, but so are women. I just tell all the women who read my words what I discover as I go through life, what I see in the world around me and the things I have learned and the things I’ve understood. Understand men and why they act as they do. There are bad men you can’t trust to be sure and men you should protect yourself from (and seek protection from). And that’s our burden, and a heavy burden our sexuality can be to bear at times! I know I feel it every day. I feel the burden of it and sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes being a woman is hard, so very hard and painful. But if a man loves you then you can endure the pain masculinity can sometimes cause, just as a man in love will endure a woman’s words (that she often times doesn’t mean, at least not in the way they come out of her mouth) and emotions, no matter how cutting or frantic.

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What Does it Take to Get It? 

Desire is an interesting thing. As a teenager I never remember having any actual *desire* for sex. For guys, obviously, things are much different but it oftentimes takes the female sex quite a while to not only discover how our bodies are made but desire, it seems, is something that has to be awakened in us. It’s something that comes in time. 

Even still it’s never a black or white issue. Desire for a woman can be strong for a moment but then in the next instant it can be gone. I think that’s because there are multiple things that come into play when it comes to female desire. 

It’s always humorous in a way to look back and think of how badly every male around wanted to get it and all of the things they’d try. I know I was never even interested. Some worked pretty hard to get it too. I remember even attracting some of the more “alpha” types who’d try to get it. The guys used all kinds of techniques to try. I might have been attracted to some of them, but it still wasn’t ever enough for me to give it up. No matter how long I knew them still nothing ever changed.

 
It wasn’t just teenage boys or young men but I also had plenty of older men try it too. I heard every line in the book. Some men tried to make themselves look like they were all that or act like assholes, some would offer “something better” up to me, some would flatter me, etc…, etc…, but I just thought they were all ridiculous. The ones who tried to play the asshole game with me just came off as loud-mouthed arrogant idiots to be honest and all the other guys I saw as weak. I had lots of guy friends and I don’t remember a single one, besides a couple that were gay, that didn’t want it or didn’t try to get it at some point. They all failed (but apparently some still went around bragging as though they got it even though they didn’t). 

Still not much has changed today. I still can’t see the point even if I feel any sexual urge of letting some guy in just because it sounds like fun. How can I even know it would be fun anyways? It kind of sounds gross to be honest. What if he’s no good? Am I going to waste myself on the guy? I mean, a man could just LOOK at a woman to know she’d be good (unless she’s got some kind of health issue down there or something or does something to really put him off), no matter her experience (or lack of it).   

Of course, being married I wouldn’t let another man touch me. If my husband started not wanting to take care of me and support me I wouldn’t give it to him either. I would love him but that doesn’t mean I’d give it to him if he treated me bad and didn’t want to support me. Women leave men they love every day and as well women deny sex to the men that they love very frequently. 

For me a man would have to have a very high status in my life in order for me to give him sex. Obviously husband= high status (highest status) but even when I was single in the past (or if I was for some reason ever single in the future) a man still had (would have) to have a high status in my life for him to ever get sex from me.

That’s why for me none of the game or pick-up techniques ever had any effect. Good “game” did make several men more appealing in my eyes, but still never enough for my legs to open (or any other part of my anatomy either). It just didn’t work because the men had no real status in my life and ultimately that’s what it’s all about- status. 

For a girl going to a bar looking to be picked up this might be different but I’ve never been the type wanting to get picked up by a man so his tricks and games would never have any effect. There has always been this appeal and an almost willingness to give it up to a guy who was doing things for me or helping me, etc… and who did seem to have appeal and confidence because he did have at least a temporary status but it still wasn’t quite convincing enough. 

It’s noteworthy here that the word status comes up a lot and seems to be the key ingredient. While men may be visual creatures and have a much stronger sex drive (on average) women are more lured in and turned on by a man’s status. In fact, let’s just be honest, without status what appeal does a man have (especially as he ages)? There are some really good looking men who seem to have women chasing them but if you notice even those men usually have status to go along with looks. A good looking guy with no status really isn’t all that appealing, even where an ugly man with high status can still get women. Even the best looking guy can’t just walk up to a woman and say “want to go have sex?” or get women to desire him. You can bet he’ll be turned down in all but the rarest of cases no matter his looks because he has no status. A good looking woman, however, could do the same and get a “yes” the majority of the time. Even strongly independent and feminist women don’t desire men without a status higher than theirs.