Possibly one of the saddest realities of life today is that few have any faith in marriage to last a lifetime anymore. In these times most people concentrate most on what happens when the marriage ends, rather than the marriage itself (think prenups for instance, most people go into marriage expecting it to end). Marriage consists of competition and mistrust between husband and wife. There is plenty of support for men out there who distrust women and don’t feel safe about investing in the marital relationship or investing themselves in women (as in supporting and protecting women). But what about woman’s role in marriage? Is it safe for a woman to invest herself in the marital relationship? And who is standing up for her role in marriage? The unfortunate answer to this question seems to be nobody. There is really nobody out there standing up for a woman’s role as a wife and mother. The absolute only voice for women revolves around the workforce.
As a woman it’s always my greatest joy just to be a wife and mother. Living a traditional life is what I’ve always wanted to do. It was always my dream to be a housewife and nothing else but I was always ashamed to admit it when I was younger (since we’re told it’s not a career or dependable anymore). Unfortunately as I’ve grown up over the years I no longer see life the same way. I no longer see life through rose colored glasses. Life has taught me the hard way that nobody is going to come to the rescue of a woman and force a man to be a man and do the honorable thing by marrying a woman he impregnates or who’s virginity he has taken. Nobody in our world today is going to enforce a man to be responsible for the financial support of his wife or throw shame on him for abandoning her or failing to protect her.
I still love the housewife role and in my very heart being a wife and mother is all I’ve ever wanted. It’s what I’ve always lived for. Being pregnant and nursing an infant. Even giving birth was a powerful experience. It was so empowering to know that as a woman I could do such a thing. It’s an instinct. It’s primitive, ancient and distinctly feminine. But at some point we all grow up and have to face the world for what it is. My world has for many years been torn between the longings of my heart (which are generally fantasies about being barefoot and pregnant) and the realities of modern day life that women are no longer secure in their roles as wives and mothers.
Like so many others, I too, have fears about truly investing myself in marriage. Just because I have come on here for years expressing the need for tradition and my love for it does not mean I am displaced from the society I live in. It does not mean I’m not a real wife and mother with fears and issues of my own. Occasionally I am upset and tell my husband I want nothing more than to just follow him and worry nothing about his business and the happenings in the world around me. That’s the way it should be. That’s the way it was for hundreds of years. Women knew they could just follow their husbands and depend upon their husbands for everything because the law would hold him responsible for her well being. She could safely follow him and obey him knowing that he would have to take legal responsibility as the husband and head of household. The law would even accept a woman’s explanation that she was following her husband’s orders.
But what about now? If there’s one thing that most women know in our times today it would be that depending on a husband is risky. Where once financial support of the family and chivalry was the man’s responsibility now the law has been bastardized by the feminist movement to say that it should be a woman’s responsibility as well and that instead of husband and wife being one unit they are instead supposed to be treated as barely anything more than two cohabiting individuals, with barely any more status or control over each other than what a boyfriend and girlfriend living together would have. Husbands and wives are no longer legally looked upon as one unit with one head, but as separate individuals who are supposed to be responsible for themselves.
This means that traditional women have no choice. In order to protect ourselves we have to know our husbands’ business. Because if we didn’t then we could be held responsible for what he does. He is no longer given the legal right to make decisions on behalf of his wife and children (unless there’s a very extreme case like his wife being in a coma or something) and the wife is forced to be right there equally (there’s that word again, isn’t it so gorgeously feminist?) participating in what he’s doing and the business he is conducting. Most women today know they would be fools to blindly obey and follow their husband’s orders because they know they no longer have the protection of the husband taking full legal responsibility for being the one in charge.
This is what feminists wanted and now their beliefs are enshrined in law and accepted by all of society including conservatives. So what are traditional women to do? Will we fade away? Even lurking somewhere in the minds of the most traditional among us is a feeling of unease and distrust of our spouse. Feminism and the role of the traditional woman are not compatible. The first step is that society must realize this. Women’s and men’s traditonal responsibilities within marriage must be law if they are to have any meaning. If they cannot be enforced then they are worthless. Married women cannot gain the ‘right’ of being independent from husbands and children without also compromising a woman’s traditional role. Feminism has stolen from a woman’s security and power in her traditional roles to force her to comply with feminist beliefs and grant her power in the masculine realm. And when they can’t get enough force together from women to abandon tradition on their own then they encourage men to “liberate” themselves from their duties. They betray women to get exactly what they want.
Traditional women must be vocal. We have no choice. We must insist that the traditional roles of a man and wife in marriage must be enforced by law. The husband’s responsibility to financially support his wife and take legal responsibility for her (with a few exceptions, the same as the law generally holds parents responsible for their children with exceptions when those children cannot be controlled) must be enforced as well as a woman’s submission to her husband must also be enforced by law. This is the only safe way that both husband and wife can invest in their traditional roles with peace of mind. No authority is a true authority unless it has the power to enforce it’s rule. Likewise no protection is a real protection unless it can be enforced.
As for feminist women? Nobody says you have to get married. In fact, please do us all a favor and stay single and childless. Go liberate yourself and support your own self and stop robbing traditional men and women who want to know the joys of marriage and children of their security.