The Guardianship of a Woman, Part III: The Origins of Guardianship For Women

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The Origins of Guardianship for Women

 

But my heart is saddened inside every time that I think about the world that I live in; about those who would ever want to take that love and that protection away from me. Who is to say that our ancestors were wrong and that we are somehow right today? And will the future generations that succeed us believe that we were right and “enlightened” and “forward-thinking,” or will they look upon what we have done, what we have allowed, with horror and be scandalized?

The roots of guardianship for women are ancient. Among the Romans a woman initially entered into what was called manus marriage, where she left her father’s household and came under the manus, or control and power, of her husband. Scholars apparently do not know much about this form of marriage, which was already becoming obsolete (perhaps even “barbaric,” “crude,” and- dare someone say- “misogynistic?”) by the time of Rome’s classical period (the height of the empire before its decline and fall). As Bruce W. Frier and Thomas A.J. MgGinn relate:

The older form of Roman marriage involved the subjection of the wife to the control (manus) of her husband. This form of marriage was fast becoming obsolete already by the beginning of the classical period of Roman private law, and accordingly we know less about it than we would like…

One of the most remarkable features of Roman family law is that the Romans went through a transition from an archaic form of marriage featuring the wife’s legal subjection to her husband to a form of marriage resting almost entirely upon voluntary cooperation between the spouses, without, as it seems, passing through any intermediate stage.[12]

After the decline of manus marriage, Roman marriage began to look very much like the practice of the Western world in modern times, with marriages becoming highly unstable with a complete separation of husband and wife in all areas of life, sometimes to very sad and devastating outcomes.

Still in antiquity, guardianship of women is to be found even in Mosaic law. Women held a very high status as wives and mothers in the “Old Testament,” and Mosaic law placed women under the protection and guardianship of their husbands and fathers. In the “Old Testament” of the Bible, Numbers 30 relates that a father or husband may void any vows that a daughter or a wife makes unto the Lord. This is somewhat reminiscent of coverture under the traditional English and American common-law where a woman could not enter and bind herself in any contract without the express consent of her husband (and who in a lawsuit had to be the plaintiff or defendant in any suit initiated by or against the wife).

And Moses spoke unto the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which the Lord hath commanded.

If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth;

And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand

Bur if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.

And if she had at all a husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;

And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her.

But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;

And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her

Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.

But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his pace at her in the day that he heard them.

But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity

These are the statutes, which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father’s house.[13]

Coming to our own history, the very word “wedding” itself has its roots in one of the most ancient forms of contract consisting of the transfer of a woman’s guardianship from her birth family to her husband:

In order to conclude a contract Anglo-Saxon law required numerous external acts, and several of these survived for many centuries. First of all there was the wed, which after the Norman Conquest was called a gage, and consisted of a valuable object which was delivered by the promisor either to the promisee himself or to a third party as security for carrying out the contract…

The occasions upon which it became necessary to contract during the Anglo-Saxon age were mainly of two types. In the first place the solemn ceremonies by which a betrothal was effected were essentially contractual, for the betrothal was in effect a contract for a sale. The Anglo-Saxon marriage on its civil side (which was independent of the Church’s sacramental views) still consisted of the sale by the woman’s kinsfolk of the jurisdiction or guardianship over her (which they called mund) to the prospective husband. Even after this ceased to be a strictly commercial transaction, betrothal and marriage ceremonies retained a good many survivals of the older order- Maitland has described the marriage forms of the Church of England as “a remarkable cabinet of legal antiquities,” and the Episcopal Church of America has also retained most of them. The betrothal was effected by the delivery of a wed and thus became a “wedding,” that is to say, the conclusion of a contract for a future marriage.[14]

The roots of marriage forming a type of guardianship over a woman are ancient, then. Are we supposed to say that our way is any better? Are we happier? Are men, women and children prospering, happier, less suicidal, less depressed, less anxious, less lonely than our ancestors? Are we truly to say that it is better to take a woman away from the love and protection and guardianship of a man who is yet sworn to provide for and protect her- and her alone- for a lifetime, forsaking all others and whatever they may say or do in the process?  What woman could not look upon the writings of Blackstone and the writings of the ancients, learned and knowledgeable in the law, and not feel some sort of deep desire, longing, and stirring within her heart at the love and deep passion that being one- physically, legally- spiritually perhaps- if one wishes to carry it that far- with a man that she loves?

By marriage, the husband and wife are one person in law: that is, the very being or legal existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage, or at least is incorporated and consolidated into that of the husband: under whose wing, protection, and cover, she performs every thing; and is therefore called in our law-French a feme-covert, foemina viro co-operta; is said to be covert-baron, or under the protection and influence of her husband, her baron, or lord; and her condition during her marriage is called her coverture. Upon this principle, of an union of person in husband and wife, depend almost all the legal rights, duties, and disabilities, that either of them acquire by the marriage. I speak not at present of the rights of property, but of such as are merely personal. For this reason, a man cannot grant any thing to his wife, or enter into covenant with her: for that grant would be to suppose her separate existence; and to covenant with her, would be only to covenant with himself: and therefore it is also generally true, that all compacts made between husband and wife, when single, are voided by the intermarriage. A woman indeed may be attorney for her husband; for that implies no separation from, but is rather a representation of, her lord. And a husband may also bequeath any thing to his wife by will; for that cannot take effect till the coverture is determined by his death. The husband is bound to provide his wife with necessaries by law, as much as himself; and if she contracts debts for them he is obliged to pay them; but, for anything besides necessaries, he is not chargeable. Also if a wife elopes, and lives with another man, the husband is not chargeable even for necessaries; at least if the person, who furnishes them, is sufficiently apprized of her elopement. If the wife be indebted before marriage, the husband is bound afterwards to pay the debt; for he has adopted her and her circumstances together. If the wife be injured in her person or her property, she can bring no action for redress without her husband’s concurrence, and in his name, as well as her own: neither can she be sued, without making the husband a defendant.[15]

She is covered, protected, cherished by him. What greater love can there be on this earth? What woman, secure in her femininity, does not dream of such lasting love? To take her out of that love, that protection, that civil disability where she is under the guardianship of her husband, then husband and wife lead a separate existence. Marriage is then rendered either unstable or, as is the way in the modern era, near obsolete.


 

[12] Bruce W. Frier & Thomas A.J. McGinn, A Casebook on Roman Family Law (New York, 2004), p. 88. See also ibid., pp. 89-94, cases 37-40 for specific cases regarding a wife’s status under Roman manus marriage regarding property, succession and divorce.

[13] Numbers 30:1-16 (King James).

[14] Plucknett, A Concise History of the Common Law, pp. 628-29.

[15] Blackstone, Commentaries on the Laws of England Book the First, pp. 442-43.

The Guardianship of a Woman, Part II: One In The Law

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One in the Law

 

But if you want to know what it is that a woman thinks and feels, then ask a real flesh-and-blood woman what she really feels inside, what she really desires, really needs. If I obey him and submit to him it’s because I love him, trust him, believe in him and need him to provide for and protect me. Our earliest laws and oldest legal precedents back up the assumption that husband and wife are to be one flesh, one in the law. Indeed, the common-law made a woman civilly dead whenever she entered into marriage with a man. He was to be her everything in life, in law. She could not contract then without his consent, sue or be sued, nor own and control anything separately from her husband unless special provisions were made via trust or, in specific circumstances, equity[3].

 

The legal term for the status of married women was “coverture,” which meant that wives were “covered” by their husbands in all areas of life, especially the control of property. With few exceptions, husbands could buy and sell property of any kind, real or personal, without the wife’s permission. In turn, wives could rely on courts to force husbands to provide them with the necessities of food, clothing, and shelter.[4]

 

Chancellor James Kent of New York, Writing in Volume II of his Commentaries on American Law, described the common-law doctrine of coverture as it had been carried over into our earliest American law (largely unaltered) as such:

 

The husband is bound to provide his wife with necessaries suitable to her situation, and his condition in life; and if she contracts debts due for them during cohabitation, he is obliged to pay those debts; but for anything beyond necessaries he is not chargeable. He is bound by her contracts for ordinary purchases, from a presumed assent on his part; but if his dissent be previously made known, the presumption of his assent is rebutted, and it is said he is not liable, though the better opinion would seem to be, that he may still be liable; though the seller would be obliged to show, at least, the absolute necessity of the purchase for her comfort.[5]

 

Chancellor Kent goes on to further make clear that it is the marriage that makes the husband liable, as it is his duty as a husband, not a debtor, to provide for his wife and maintain her:

 

But Lord Talbot said, that nothing less than an act of parliament could alter the law; and the rule was fixed, that the husband was liable to the wife’s debts only during the coverture…The husband is liable, not as the debtor, but as the husband. It is still the debt of the wife, and if she survive her husband, she continues personally liable.[6]

 

And if the husband refuses to provide for his wife? Kent states that the laws suggest he may still be liable. If he cannot be charged, then the wife had grounds for a divorce a mensa et thoro, where the court would then order the husband to pay her a fixed maintenance.[7] Blackstone described it thus:

 

In case of divorce a mensa et thoro, the law allows alimony to the wife; which is that allowance, which is made to a woman for her support out of her husband’s estate; being settled at the discretion of the ecclesiastical judge, on consideration of all the circumstances of the case. This is sometimes called her estovers; for which, if he refuses payment, there is (besides the ordinary process of excommunication) a writ at common law de estoveriis habendis, in order to recover it. It is generally proportioned to the rank and quality of the parties. But in case of elopement, and living with an adulterer, the law allows her no alimony.[8]

 

In book three of his Commentaries on the Laws of England, Blackstone states:

 

…The last species of matrimonial abuses is a consequence drawn from one of the species of divorce, that a mensa et thoro; which is the suit for alimony, a term which signifies maintenance: which suit the wife, in case of separation, may have against her husband, if he neglects or refuses to make her an allowance suitable to their station in life. This is an injury to the wife, and the court christian will redress it by assigning her a competent maintenance, and compelling the husband by ecclesiastical censures to pay it. But no alimony will be assigned in case of a divorce of adultery on her part; for as that amounts to a forfeiture of her dower after his death, it is also a sufficient reason why she should not be partaker of his estate when living.[9]

 

There have never been ecclesiastical courts in America as in England, but the common-law generally followed the same course. Alimony was to enforce the husband’s duty to provide for his wife as if the marriage still continued, provided she was not guilty of wrong-doing. Nor could the law dictate how the husband would provide for her nor how he would head his family unless suit was brought against him for wrong-doing. Therefore, alimony might sometimes have been her only remedy if the husband breached his part of the contract of marriage and refused to provide for her.

 

…But as the husband is the guardian of the wife, and bound to protect and maintain her, the law has given him a reasonable superiority over her person…the husband is the best judge of the wants of the family and the means of supplying them, and if he shifts his domicile, the wife is bound to follow him wherever he chooses to go…If the husband abandons his wife, or they separate by consent, without any provision for her maintenance, or if he sends her away, he is liable for her necessaries, and he sends credit with her to that extent. But if the wife elopes, though it be not with an adulterer, he is not chargeable even for necessaries. The very fact of the elopement and separation, is sufficient to put persons on inquiry, and whoever gives the wife credit afterwards, gives it at his peril. The husband is not liable unless he receives his wife back again. The duties of the wife, while cohabiting with her husband, form the consideration of his liability. He is, accordingly, bound to provide for her in his family and while he is not guilty of any cruelty, and is willing to provide her a home, and all reasonable necessaries there, he is not bound to furnish them elsewhere. All persons supplying the food, lodging and raiment, of a married woman, living separate from her husband, are bound to make inquiries, and they give credit at their peril.[10]

 

Though it has been considered as “progress” and “modern” to do away with coverture– and indeed all legal sex distinctions and “stereotypes”- the legal fiction of husband and wife as one person in law- a doctrine perhaps as old as the common law itself[11]– should have never been disturbed by the courts or legislatures.


 

[3] See James Kent, Commentaries on American Law, Volume II, Third Edition (New York, 1827), pp. 149-54 for a wife’s capacity to own, control, or convey property as if she were femme sole (a single woman).

[4] Peter Irons, A People’s History of the Supreme Court: The Men and Women Whose Cases and Decisions Have Shaped our Constitution (Penguin, 2006), p. 11.

[5] James Kent, Commentaries on American Law, Volume II, Third Edition, p. 146.

[6] Ibid., p. 145.

[7] See Ibid., p. 148, n. a: “Houliston v Smyth, 3 Bingham’s Rep. 127. “In this case the court considered the law to be, that if a man rendered his house unfit for a modest woman to continue in it, or if the wife had reasonable ground to apprehend personal violence, she was justified in quitting it, and the husband would be liable for necessaries furnished for her support.”; “The husband is bound to provide his wife with necessaries, when she is not in fault, from a principle of duty and justice; and the duty will raise an assumpsit independent of his consent, and when no consent can be inferred, as in the case of a refusal on his part to provide her with necessaries. If he turns her out of doors, and forbids all mankind from supplying her with necessaries, or if she receive such treatment as affords a reasonable cause for her to depart from his house, and refuse to cohabit with him, yet he will be bound to fulfill her contracts for necessaries, suitable to her circumstances, and those of her husband.” Ibid., pp. 147-48

[8] William Blackstone, Commentaries on the Laws of England. Book the First, Third Edition (Oxford, 1765), pp. 441-42.

[9] William Blackstone, Commentaries on the Laws of England Volume 3 (Chicago, 1979), pp. 94-95.

[10] Kent, Commentaries on American Law Volume II, pp.145-46. Apparently, the opinion of the judges was that if the wife returns yet the husband refuses to receive her, he is liable.

[11] “The common law was the custom of the King’s Court, and an outgrowth of feudal conditions…but it is only in the local custom of numerous cities towns and villages that we can see how different the life of the ordinary people was. In these customs, for example, we find that the position of the married woman was very different from that which the common law assigned her, the complete merging of personality being obviously out of harmony with bourgeois habits. Local customs frequently keep the woman’s property free from her husband’s control, accord her liberty of contract (which was denied at common law), and even allow her to trade separately upon her own account. The extent of these local customs is hardly known. Many custumals have survived, but many others have not…by the merest chance an example of this recently came to light. In defence to an action of account in 1389, it was pleaded that by the custom of the little village of Selby in Yorkshire a husband was not liable for the commitments of his wife incurred in the course of her separate trading…the common law, even so late as 1389, did not extend to all persons and places…there was an incalculably large mass of customary law involving very different principles in numerous different communities of which we only know a fraction.” Plucknett, A Concise History of the Common Law, pp. 313-14.

This passage goes to show that the legal fiction of husband and wife as one in law went back for centuries, but also that many times the principles of coverture did not extend, therefore there is no basis in history for truthfully asserting that women- even married women- could never own or control their own property or earnings.; For the origins of the common law, see generally Arthur R. Hogue, Origins of the Common Law (Indianapolis, 1966).

The Guardianship of a Woman, Part I: Introduction

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A legal history is not perhaps the place to make suggestions as to the law of the future. It is concerned with the past. But if history is to be something more than mere antiquarianism, it should be able to originate suggestions as to the best way in which reforms in the law might be carried out so as to make it conform with present needs.[1]

 

 

 

Introduction

 

I was told one time by my own mother that, “No one will ever care about you the way your mother does” when I was once going through a hard time in this life. We are told of things such as “blood is thicker than water” and mainstream culture is full of anything that would lead us away from true intimacy, true lasting marriage, true monogamy…anything that would take us outside of the mainstream, away from popular culture, away from friends and the ways of the world and place one man and one woman together for a lifetime.

Far beyond my own personal feelings on this matter, the ways of our ancestors and even oftentimes the laws[2] down to the present will back up the foregoing assertion, that there is no one that will ever love you like your husband; that marriage means forsaking all others and letting their influence fade away into the background as nothing more than idle chatter. Assuming his love is true and good, assuming he has proven what he says, made good on all his promises, there is no deeper intimacy.

Trust me when I say from deep inside of my heart and soul that my relatives don’t matter to me. No one else can cherish me, love me, provide for me the way that he does. My heart inside thinks of the millions of ways that others have tried to break us up, yet my heart inside turned away from those who would look down at me, wish to hurt me. I remember it was well over a decade now, when I told him “You’re going to marry me.”  I could care less about all others, could care less about the ever-shifting tides of public opinion. I have studied far too many epochs of human history to know that what is dissent and heresy one day often becomes, in time, commonly accepted mainstream dogma. Even law students are routinely told to read dissenting opinions, as dissent, in time, often becomes majority opinion.

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[1] Holdsworth, Quoted in Theodore F.T. Plucknett, A Concise History of the Common Law (Indianapolis, 2010), p. 655.

[2] Consider the circumstance that privileged communications are not favored in the law, and that any privileged communications between parent and child (or that of any other blood relatives) have no basis in historical precedent, are a recent development perhaps recognized by no more than five jurisdictions in the United States, and were not even among the nine proposed testimonial privileges for the 1972 proposed rules of evidence. See Norman M. Garland, Criminal Evidence, Seventh Edition (New York, 2015), pp. 86-93.

The Might of Nations

 

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But what is it that makes a nation? Barricaded away in study in the law and history books, it becomes quite easy to see that the strength and might of a nation lies in its military strength, its economy, and its political structures (of which a nation’s family patterns play a key role in all three).

Transformed as modern economies may be from agricultural-based to industrial-based, there is nothing new under the heavens. Work was outsourced even to the extent in ancient times that the Code of Hammurabi[1] outlines many economic regulations (including the regulation of worker’s wages) and even ancient Rome had a welfare system[2] where imported grains were distributed free by the government to the poorest citizens. The two-parent “nuclear” family system is also to be found in various ancient societies where international trade and a marketplace based upon coinage seem to be the hallmarks of an advancing and prosperous civilization throughout all eras of history.

In short order, political instability contributes to economic instability and the reduction in the fighting capabilities of a nation’s armed forces. Which plays the greater role or comes first in causing the disorder (declining economics, military prowess or political instability) is hard to ascertain, but all forces push and pull on one another in the creation of such disorder.

To have stability, groups of individuals have since the beginning of time developed codes of conduct- either through unwritten tribal customs or formal codification of laws in civilizations[3]– often patriarchal[4]– with more advanced political structures- that regulate how they will relate to one another and deal with any forms of disputes that arise. When the formal and civilized terms become unacceptable, the alternative is to resort to violence until one side succeeds in subduing the other, and thereby forcing the losing side’s surrender to the will of the prevailing forces, and thus securing their acceptance to abide by the terms and the customs of the rule of law of the winning side.

Civilizations are created and the story of human affairs develops (and this is, perhaps, the very reason why the whole “herstory” idea has never gained any traction) whenever one civilization overpowers the other through brute force and imposes their own rule of law over the opposing (conquered) forces and sets up their own leaders in place of the ones who formerly ruled.

Throughout history, governments are only as strong as the might of their military forces- as strong as the men of a nation. An effective government must not only have the resources (its economy) and the manpower (its military) to protect its borders from invading forces attempting to overcome it from without, but also to subdue rebellion from within. Thus, all governments depend upon the strength of their military forces, effective economic functioning, and political stability for their continued existence.

Civilizations seem to prosper in particular when diplomatic relations are stable, and thus fostering the growth of international trade. Whenever civilizations advance in such ways they then begin to form more complicated systems of government, turning from being governed in more primitive ways (as in pre-civilization under tribal rule, without formal written language or advances in agriculture/industry) to becoming stable functioning states replete with a written code of laws and formal bureaucratic administration.

Stability from within and without produces prosperous and wealthy civilizations, and historically this has also meant increases in innovation and inspiration, with changing family structures to become patriarchal with men working the land/ engaging in industry and business to directly provide for families where the paternity of their children is known. With advancing economies also comes more resources to develop technology, and thus more advanced weaponry and more advanced modes of production (whether agricultural or industrial) to further advance a nation’s military and economic forces and increase the native population (with the civilizations thus becoming more powerful than those that surround them, with these nations oftentimes even moving to conquer their surrounding neighbors and impose their will and rule of law over them).

On BBC’s website, searching through the history section, there are provided a couple of image galleries that give a brief overview and quite fascinating insight into the aforementioned military and economic forces at work throughout human history: The Art of War by Professor Daniel Moran and a War and Technology Gallery by a writer named Matthew Bennett. It’s interesting to see the timeline of how such forces have historically played out to create the societies we have today.

Aside from how civilizations are built, another important aspect of all civilizations (and whether they advance or falter and become conquered and impoverished peoples), is their family structures (as mentioned, when civilizations advance they generally become more patriarchal in their structures where the role of fathers providing and protecting in families is of paramount importance to their stability) and relationships between the sexes.

From the ancient Greek Hoplites and brutal hand-to-hand combat to the modern era where “The essence of new information technologies…have made the accuracy and effectiveness of weapons independent of the range from which they are fired,”[5] and where, “On the battlefields of the future all detectable targets will be equally at risk, while the ‘shooter’ may be literally anywhere,”[6] the entire point of warfare has been, and will always be, to annihilate or subdue one’s target and “win.”

Modern political discourse revolves around placing women in combat because brute strength is apparently not needed on account of all the new technologies. But no matter the battle strategy utilized, the end result will always be that the one pulling the trigger (even if from far away and even if the utilization of the weaponry requires little to no physical strength where females can equally do the job as well as males) will become a target in warfare. The “brains of the operation,” operating invisibly from some far away source would of necessity become the prime target for the opposing forces, as they would not be able to achieve their objective until the individual silently and invisibly taking out their forces is himself (herself) annihilated- this means killedcapturedtaken out of action and off the battlefield.

Whatever way one wants to put it, placing women in any kind of combat situations where they engage the enemy either directly or indirectly is still placing women in danger. It is the hallmark of an ever-increasing degenerating culture where the rule of law has utterly broken down.[7] It is also a very dangerous proposition for society overall whenever men stop seeing women as weaker vessels whom it is their duty to provide for and protect. Men will also- no matter the consequences- desert both battlefield and workplace when morale sinks and they simply see no point in continuing on working or fighting anymore: when they simply no longer have anything to work or fight for.

On an interpersonal level, it is a very dangerous proposition indeed whenever males in society overall become aggressive against their women, and see no problem engaging in face-to-face competition with females and don’t even flinch at the idea of females being called into military service to be captured and killed by the enemy and will themselves attack and get in a woman’s face at only the smallest slight. When reality hits in the real world, men and women are not equal.

In sexual encounters, it is females who become pregnant and bear the disabilities associated with pregnancy and childbirth. In violent confrontations and domestic violence situations, few females are actually on equal footing with males. The rule of law may impose anti-discrimination legislation upon citizens and describe penalties for socially perceived wrongdoing- it may even become totalitarian with arbitrary domestic violence legislation- but the law is mere words on a piece of paper whenever its terms become unacceptable by individuals or groups of individuals who do not wish to abide by it.[8] Violence is the alternative to adherence to the rule of law, and out in the real world women are never- or rarely- equal under such circumstances. Therefore, it is imperative that the males of a civilization (and civilization in general) see the placing of women in harm’s way- no matter the circumstances- as utterly repugnant and unacceptable.[9]

On a personal note, we must always think of our children. When they are younger it is easy to see the world through selfish eyes and focus on oneself. But as they grow older the game shifts from simply caring for incompetent young and infant children to attempting to guide and instill necessary wisdom in the minds of young individuals- our offspring whom we once nurtured before they could do for themselves- and protect them from a world they are at once too young to truly understand even as they are yet beginning to enter into it as autonomous individuals seeking their own independence.

I have a preteen daughter, and I worry every single day about what this world is going to look like in a few short years when she begins to go out in the world and begins to interact romantically with the opposite sex. If I had a son I would want to know that the law would be on his side if he chose to invest in a woman, but it is absurd to truly believe that the same rules apply to women (or girls) as to men (or boys) or that I would have the same fears and concerns over a son as I do my own daughter.

Relationships between the sexes matter and they always will. It is, of necessity, the role and function of the men of society to provide for and protect their women and children, which will also produce the by-product of more feminine and less aggressive women, thereby resulting in a more prosperous, wealthy, and stable civilization where the people are free due to the rule of law being upheld.

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[1] The Avalon Project, Documents in Law, History and Diplomacy, Babylonian Law– The Code of Hammurabi, http://avalon.law.yale.edu/ancient/hammpre.asp (Last Visited, September 10, 2018).

[2] See Generally, TimeMaps, The Roman Republic: Government and Societyhttps://www.timemaps.com/civilizations/roman-republic/ (Last Visited, September 10, 2018); Hans Julius Wolff, Roman Law: An Historical Introduction 12-13 (9th ed. 1951). “Ever larger masses of the former free rural population moved into the city where they formed, together with great numbers of freedmen of foreign origin, a proletariat maintained by grains imported from the provinces, chiefly Africa; part of these grains were distributed free by the state.” Id.

[3] Even Rome itself developed as an insignificant city-state around the Tiber river region of Central Italy. Its original political system before the Republic is not as well known, though Rome was under a monarchy before the beginnings of the Roman Republic around 500 B.C. See generally Wolff, note 2, supra; TimeMaps, The Rise of the Roman Empirehttps://www.timemaps.com/encyclopedia/rise-of-the-roman-empire#republic, (Last Visited September 10, 2018).

[4] See generally Daniel Amneus, The Garbage Generation (1990). Still the best classic resource on the need for patriarchy. This book is also available online at: https://www.fisheaters.com/gb1.html (Last Visited, March 13, 2018). For a review of Amneus’ work, see B.A. Hunter, My Review of The Garbage Generationhttps://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2013/11/05/my-review-of-the-garbage-generation/, (Last Visited September 11, 2018). Victimology is not a theme in Amneus’ classic work. The solution for mothers- whether divorced, widowed or never married- is not the workforce, but marriage. Though paternal authority can at times be somewhat harsh-seeming on the outside of things, patriarchy is- in its truest sense- about love. Amneus doesn’t speak of love, but he does cite the English and Anglo-American common- law system of Coverture as the ideal. For the traditional girl, the heart and spirit softens and the mind is put at ease at his insistence on the male dominance and protection to be found under a truly patriarchal system such as Coverture. For more on Coverture, see generally What’s Wrong With Equal Rights, William Blackstone on Coverture Taghttps://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/tag/william-blackstone-on-coverture/, (Last Visited September 11, 2018).

[5] Daniel Moran, The Art of War, Future of Warhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/history/worldwars/art_war_gallery_09.shtml, (Last Visited September 11, 2018).

[6] Ibid.

[7] A great historical example to this effect- though there are many- is the fall of the Western Roman Empire to “barbarian” Huns and the Germanic tribes of the Angles, Jutes and Saxons which plunged Western civilization into a period of lawlessness and ignorance. “When the Angles, Jutes, and Saxons first migrated to England, life was brutal. They came in small clans and tribes and every member of the tribe had to contribute to the defense of the tribe. Women had to fight. These tribes slowly coalesced into kingdoms, which gradually formed the kingdom of England.” Christine G. Clark, Women’s Rights in Early England, Brigham Young University Law Review 1 (1995). Available at  http://constitution.org/lrev/eng/womens_rights_early_england.pdf. The author then goes on to lament about the supposed taking away of women’s rights when law and order was restored and society was brought out of the Dark Ages in particular when William the Conqueror, at the time of The Conquest (1066), restored law and order with his Feudalism and code of chivalry. The author then ends the article with bright-eyed hope that women will return to combat now that less brute strength is needed as a result of ever increasing technology in warfare.

[8] See for instance, Lyman Abbot, The Atlantic, Why Women Do Not Wish the Suffrage (1903), Available at https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1903/09/why-women-do-not-wish-the-suffrage/306616/:   “It is this power to compel which distinguishes law from advice. Behind every law stands the sheriff, and behind the sheriff the militia, and behind the militia the whole military power of the Federal government. No legislature ever ought to enact a statute unless it is ready to pledge all the power of government- local, state, and Federal- to its enforcement, if the statute is disregarded. A ballot is not a mere expression of opinion; it is an act of the will; and behind this act of the will must be power to compel obedience…The great elections are called, and not improperly called, campaigns. For they are more than a great debate. A debate is a clash of opinions. But an election is a clash of wills… Will sets itself against will in what is essentially a masculine encounter. And if the defeated will refuses to accept the decision…war is the necessary result.” Id.

[9] Perhaps there is yet still hope with the as of yet very weak cries at restoring a sense of chivalry and duty for the protection of women and children back to society. See for instance, Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic, Let’s Give Chivalry Another Chance (2012). https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2012/12/lets-give-chivalry-another-chance/266085/, (Last Visited September 11, 2018).

The Sanctity of Marriage

As is always the way with me, I’m a thinker, a doer. Lately it has been on my mind to write a few things. Many aspects in life and including the comments I’ve received here have led me to think about these things. First off, I just want to say that it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about the way you choose to live your life whenever you choose to live in a traditional way. I don’t have anyone I’m trying to please and the opinions even of my own relatives are unimportant to me. What they think about my lifestyle doesn’t matter.

Recently I had to send a formal letter to my own mother telling her that I wished no further contact with neither her nor any of my relatives. They were interfering in my life and it concerned me. It was getting completely out of hand. They would rather see my marriage ruined, they would rather see me finish college and live the life they want for me to be living[i].

But the thing is that none of that matters to me. And I’m writing and saying all of this because I know just how many young women out there are facing the same pressures from relatives[ii]. But like I told my own mother, I love her- I really do- I’ve always longed for a good relationship with her but I know that it’s just never going to happen. Ultimately, they are not what is of importance. They want me to live in a certain way but they won’t be the ones who ultimately pay the price for the life they believe I should be living- I will be.

Traditionally the law threw a cloak over marriage[iii][iv]. Even in religious beliefs, it is well established that a man and women leave the sphere of their relatives and join together. From then on out they are one and all others take second stage (or in some cases, such as is often the case with friends and acquaintances, cease to matter altogether). Only in matriarchal or tribal societies does marriage not take on such importance[v]. In these kinds of societies, even the raising of children becomes some community matter and there are no permanent and stable romantic relationships between men and women.

The existence and establishment of “gender equality” and “gay marriage” have lessened the importance and sacredness of marriage by obliterating separate rights and responsibilities between the sexes and stripping the true meaning from sex- but even here many jurisdictions still cloak marriage in various ways (such as exclusive rights to offspring within the marriage and immunity regarding testifying in criminal/civil cases). Where the last of these privileges fall by the wayside, it means that society no longer sees marriage as something worth preserving nor protecting.

This showcases what marriage traditionally meant to our society. Traditionally, the husband was head of the household. His wife and his children were his[vi]. The marriage was sacred and outsiders had no right to come in and interfere with the relationship of a man and his wife, or of parents and their legitimate offspring unless compelling circumstances necessitated the law’s interference. When you take away the foundations of the institution of marriage you also strip away all these protections.

Also keep in mind here that it doesn’t matter what the “majority” are supposedly thinking. Your average, ordinary citizen is largely ignorant of the law[vii] and the world around him (or her). Despite all our fancy technological gadgets, human beings are not any more or less ignorant than what we were thousands of years ago. Human nature doesn’t change and likewise humans tend to let emotion overwhelm them and get into a mob mentality where all common sense flies out the window. But that’s why your average, ordinary citizen doesn’t have the power to make laws or policies[viii].

It doesn’t matter what others say or do. Your best protection is to educate yourself (this can be done outside of formal settings) and marry a good man while you’re young. From there on out- no matter what the society might say right now as the society is not always right- your husband should be your everything. A young woman should start out by looking to her husband for everything. He should be your protection, your provision and your guidance that you look to. You will also hold great influence over him as well as many a man have accomplished great things when they had the guidance and support of a good and faithful woman by their side.

Relatives, in-laws, friends can all be nasty and vicious and tear apart marriages if they are allowed to. That’s why the marital relationship must be first in importance and why we need to get to the point in society once again where the husband is the head of house and responsible for his family and, absent compelling circumstances, rights are only established and defined within the state of marriage. In our world today, marriage is regarded as a mere piece of paper that is optional whenever men and women procreate with each other- but this has got to change.

The marriage protects your privacy, the marriage protects your well-being. Also realize your influence as a woman. I never felt that my mother or relatives had my best interests at heart, which is why I always rejected the things they wanted for me and I always left their side and their influence to bond with my husband. I knew that my protection was only going to be found in him. I knew that no one else could ever protect, love or understand me the same. Others will invade on your home, attempt to run your life and invade your personal sphere and privacy if they are allowed to. Marriage should block this from happening and traditionally it always did by clearing establishing rights and responsibilities that could not be obtained anywhere else[ix].

Under coverture, for instance, husband and wife were considered as one[x]. A wife could represent her husband or conduct business in his absence even if need be, as they were one. A man could take his wife, wherever he found her, and take her with him wherever he went, as he had a right to keep her by his side and nobody had a right to keep him from her (unless she had obtained a legal separation from him). This protected her, and this protected the husband as well. A wife had a right to the support and protection of her husband, as he was responsible for her[xi]. He had the obligation to support her, and this ensured her security when she left her family and had children. The idea is to leave one’s relatives and cling to one another, forsaking all others[xii]. Even where your children are concerned, teach them the sanctity of marriage as one day they will leave the home to form their own families.

When the law upholds traditional marriage, the door can be slammed in the face of outsiders and all others as what goes on inside the home is sacred, because the marital relationship is sacred. I know that my husband knows me better than anyone else, and being there under his wing keeps others from harming and harassing me. My privacy is assured, my security is assured. This is important.

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[i] This is what life looks like when following the feminist plan, check out my earlier article where I discussed my thoughts regarding this: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/why-young-women-shouldnt-listen-to-their-mothers-generation/

[ii] One recent comment (though there have been many just the same) on one of my recent postings showcases the pressures many women get, being forced into feminist lifestyles which they do not want on account of pressure from relatives https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2017/11/30/listen-to-me-victimology-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-1133

[iii] For another example of the law legally cloaking marriage and protecting children and families, see The United States Supreme Court case of Michael H. v. Gerald D., 491 U.S. 110 (1989)

[iv] There are numerous ways in which the law has done this, from spousal immunity to testifying in criminal trials, to disallowing paternity suits to children born within marriage, to protection in cases of disability and death, etc… Some states, such as California and New York, for instance, no longer regard marriage as a sacred institution, instead declaring that a child may even have as many as three legal parents in California, https://verdict.justia.com/2013/10/15/california-allows-children-two-legal-parents an unmarried father having the right to claim rights to a child being raise by a woman and her lawful husband, and New York, for instance, recognizes no protections regarding privileged communications even regarding those occurring within legal marriage before the marriage has broken down.

[v] The Mosuo, from China, for instance, are probably the last modern example of this kind of matriarchal family structure: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/01/the-kingdom-of-women-the-tibetan-tribe-where-a-man-is-never-the-boss https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/19/china-mosuo-tribe-matriarchy The Late Daniel Amneus also portrayed the matriarchal way in his infamous book “The Garbage Generation: On the Need for Patriarchy” which showcases that many historical societies had no concept of even the word “father” as is the custom in patriarchal societies.

[vi] See my previous article https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/the-wrongs-of-the-mens-movement/ for more info on a father’s authority under coverture

[vii] Look at this poll, for instance, as reported in an article on CNN https://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/poll-constitution/index.html which states that more than 1/3 of individuals surveyed couldn’t name a single right protected by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, only ¼ could name all three branches of government, and 1/3 couldn’t name any branch of government.

[viii] The framers of the Constitution intentionally feared a direct democracy, as well as too strong of a central government (even though they realized a stronger centralized government was necessary as the Articles of Confederation were weak and thus had to be repealed, and ultimately replaced, with the new Constitution that called for a Republic form of government where people elect representatives but do not directly make the laws and policies), and feared putting important matters in the hands of the common people http://www.americantraditions.org/Articles/Why%20Our%20Founders%20Feared%20a%20Democracy.htm

[ix] The old protections of marriage are numerous and plentiful. Check out some of my earlier articles on illegitimacy, for instance, for more references to ways in which this is so: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/tag/illegitimacy/

[x] See, for instance, William Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England https://www.thoughtco.com/blackstone-commentaries-profile-3525208 ; http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/blackstone-commentaries-on-the-laws-of-england-in-four-books-vol-1 As American law is derivative of the common law of England, which was adopted by the colonists and still, to this day, remain our laws unless otherwise changed.

[xi] Consider the old English common-law “Doctrine of Necessaries” https://definitions.uslegal.com/d/doctrine-of-necessaries/

[xii] Though still treading the bounds of political correctness, consider this article which cites Biblical references about forsaking all others within marriage: Protecting Marriage from Outside Intruders: http://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kreitz/christian/Boundaries/09intruders.pdf