The Myth of the Non-Existent Traditional Man

Ok, there is one myth that I would like to put to rest right now, the myth that there are no traditional men out there. The truth of the matter is that nobody knows how many there are, just like nobody truly knows how many traditional women are out there either, but the fact is they do exist, and in much greater numbers than many seem to think. In fact, over the years I’ve noticed that there seem to be more traditional men (seem to be) than there are traditional women. In fact, I’ve known of more than one woman that ended up leaving her husband/boyfriend because he wanted her to stay home (actually this seems to be very common if you want to know the truth about it), so you see more than one reason and the pressures from society against traditional men that compel them to stay quiet about their beliefs and walk on eggshells and dare not approach the subject with their wives. But apart from the fact that there are traditional men, there are men as well who are the sole providers, or at least want to be.

But you’re not going to hear about these men out there and you certainly won’t be finding them whining on some MGTOW forum about how all women are evil and how much of victims they are. That’s because there’s no need for these men to cause a commotion, because they are not victims. They have their shit and their homes in order and they have absolutely no need to fear stuff like “divorce rape” or the things MRAs like to whine about non-stop. They don’t sit around fearing and being paranoid about women. They are the providers, they love and cherish their wives and give to them what they choose, and what they can afford to give. These men are strong and are usually admired by their wives, their wives desire them and they also usually have great sex lives (this from my own personal experience and the experiences I’ve heard from other women). They don’t have to whine about how their wives won’t give them sex, and it’s rare that their wives will actually go out and have an affair (they have too much to lose and are generally hard-to-get women in the first place anyway). They trust their wives, and those who are the sole providers know their wives won’t- can’t- just up and leave them without suffering greatly in the process. Even when their wives do leave, they usually come back to them. Most of these men’s marriages far outlast the marriages of others, and in the event they do get divorced there usually isn’t much (if any) fighting and the man generally gets things his way and doesn’t fight with or abuse his ex-wife.

These men don’t have anything to complain about, and in fact most that I’ve ever known or heard about do not like MRAs and believe them to be not only foolish, but manipulative and abusive. Some of these men actually have wives that get involved in this red-pill nonsense, until their wives find out all the red-pill is is a bunch of abuse tactics and is, in reality, far from traditional or Godly.

On the occasion you do hear about these men, some like to call them “alpha providers” or something of the sort, and most manosphere men think they are myths, and question if these men really exist. Well, they do. They are not a myth. Notice the number of homemaker blogs that have seemed to pop up everywhere over the last few years? Obviously these women have husbands that are their sole/primary providers. Who do you think supports these homemakers to enable them to be homemakers anyway? Their provider husbands.

But back to the main point, there are plenty of traditional men, or at least men who want to be traditional, but you just don’t usually hear about them. Do you think my husband gets on some MGTOW forums and whines and complains or writes mile-long articles about the supposed sorry state of affairs for men these days? Of course not. He actually laughs at these guys. On the outside, everyone knows he gives me the world and I mean everything to him, but what they also don’t see is what happens, or how he reacts, if there really is a threat to his authority. Yes, a few that have been really close to us over the years have caught mere glimpses of me actually submitting to him, but that’s about it. He doesn’t have to make it public that he’s in charge and, despite outside observances and expectations from society that the wife really has a tight grip on her husband’s *****, or has them in her purse, what’s happening inside the home and marital relationship of these men looks a lot different, you just aren’t going to see it, because these kinds of men don’t make a big scene about it, mostly because they don’t have to. There’s no need to. They also don’t have to play tricks or games either. There’s no need.

That’s not to say that I, or any other traditional woman, are powerless or have no rights. We do. We do have a voice and we always have, and a very important voice at that. Sometimes a wife has to demand her rights and that the husband step up to do what he’s supposed to do. Though I and a few of my other partners-in-crime have managed to land ourselves a place in the “Christian Doormathood” hall of fame (how the heck I ended up under that category, or who on earth is responsible for nominating me I’ll never know), the traditional wife is not a doormat. She has the right to be supported, cherished, loved, honored, respected and protected, and to demand such rights if the husband does not fulfill them. In the worst case scenario, she leaves, but all is not a field of daisies for her if she does. It might be Hell if she stays, but it’s only all the worse if she leaves.

A traditional wife that leaves her husband is usually left mostly destitute, dependent on the good graces of her relatives and trying to earn the most meager living imaginable. Her life after leaving her provider husband is usually something that closely resembles Hell and helplessness. In fact, many such women have returned to their husbands for that very reason, giving in to him and doing what he says. No, she doesn’t have much of a choice outside of being with him, and for that particular reason society hates male authority within marriage and pushes and encourages all wives and mothers into the workforce- so they don’t have to submit to male authority within families.

Does it look like such men are victims? No, they are not. That doesn’t mean all has ever been perfect. Sometimes a man screws up and allows his family to fall apart, when he’s not being that man he should be. The traditional man is only human and he doesn’t always acts or do as he should, and sometimes he royally screws up and lets things go, gives his power away to another (his wife or another man to take her affections away), but the point is that you don’t hear about traditional men or the “alpha provider” because they aren’t victimized, and instead of joining up with the manosphere, most scoff at them as a bunch of wusses, and rightly so.

Yes, families are in a bad way today, and not only are traditional families becoming rare but so are families that have managed to stay in-tact or form at all. But throughout history, where the man has the authority and provider responsibility within the family, he has never been a victim. If you give the husband responsibility without authority attached to it, then yeah you’re going to have a problem. That’s just asking to be taken advantage of and get taken to the cleaners whenever the wife decides to leave him (and if she’s independent and her own breadwinner she can). But you give him the appropriate authority to go along with the responsibility, and he’s secure to invest in a woman the way he sees fit. That’s the way it works best. For everyone- individual, family and society.

 

Recommended:

A Woman Needs a Man’s Masculinity/ Random Rant

 

There Are More Traditional Men Than Women Now, I Think!

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Listen To Me, Pt. I

I’m not here to say that everything’s OK, because it’s not. I’m not trying to say that everything will be OK in the future, because perhaps it never will be. A repeated question that I have asked myself over the years goes a little something like this: Why me? Good God why me? Why am I so different from everyone else? Why am I such a freak of nature? (Because that’s how I view myself at times, though I’ve learned to embrace it and have gained more self-confidence over time.) I feel what it is that I feel inside, and it just doesn’t go away. But perhaps I’m meant to teach you, to show you a different way than what this world and society tells us. So, if you are a young woman reading this, I do want you to listen up.

And I look at the stats that this site gets oftentimes, and I get a lot of hits from search engines like Google- a ton in fact. There also seems to be a lot of interest in people searching for whether or not married women should go to work and things like that. No matter the lies the mainstream media and Hollywood try to sell us, all is most definitely NOT settled in the hearts and minds of the modern-day woman (or probably not man for that matter either). I try to do the best that I can to teach and to help, because I feel that I was made to write, made to express myself. Of course, for the life of me I can’t figure out why anyone would follow me, it seems people do. So I want to tell young girls and women just starting out in life of a different way to be and to live, to tell something different than what you are hearing all around you and to tell you that it’s OK to stay strong in those beliefs, even though I will tell you that you are going to face a lot of criticism from those around you, especially your feminist mothers and grandmothers.

I know even my own mother, as much as I love her, hates my marriage because I’ve always been dependent on my husband. They want me to be independent at all costs. My maternal grandmother also disowned me last year as well, not only for my differing religious beliefs but political ones as well. They are the type of women who you will hear wanting the goods of tradition yet boasting that “Women are becoming more independent” and saying things like “It’s still a man’s world- but all that is changing now!” Most likely these types will be Republicans and conservatives/moderates who are anti-abortion and pro-Trump supporters. They will tell you how abortion is evil and how they aren’t feminists and don’t hate men yet at the same time be like “You go girl! Get that college degree! Depend on nobody but yourself!”

Sometimes I go through this alone, it seems, and I know that there are plenty of other young women who want a different and better life than what their own mothers lived. You’ve seen their failures, their misery, their stresses, multiple marriages, and the whole juggling career/motherhood thing that just doesn’t work. They can’t seem to keep a man around, or only attract bad ones and drag them in and out of marriage counseling every other year and continuously get burned to where they eventually just give up entirely on men. But there is a different way.

I will tell you now not to waste your youth. But I don’t say this because there is some kind of “wall” where a woman loses all value once she hits a certain age- there’s NOT and don’t believe anyone who tells you there is (namely low-value men with revenge fantasies against the women who rejected them in their youth). It’s only that there is something special about bonding with a man from your youth. There’s something precious about it and relationships established during your youth cannot be replaced. Guys shouldn’t waste their youth either because it’s important for bonding, loving and building a life with someone but I’m mostly here to talk to the girls.

I was a mere 16 years old when I first met him and bonded to him and I wasn’t much older whenever we married. And since I have depended on him the entire time, I’ve never known any other life other than the one I have lived with him. It’s hard to explain how that feels. For a man, it wouldn’t be the same, but for a woman, it changes everything. I’m very soft and delicate because he’s taken care of me (but don’t think that makes me weak, because I’m anything but it). Yes, I cry. No, I’m not a child, but neither am I a man. I have emotions and I express them, but he understands that. In fact, he says that’s one of the things he loves about me. The world we live in today wants to medicate away those emotions and call them unhealthy. Abusive men seek to employ psychological techniques to try to silence a woman’s emotions and “manage” them (which only causes the situation to get completely out of hand).

But that’s not love. That’s not bonding. That is annihilating the very feminine essence that makes a woman precious and unique. He understands me like no other. I can be a handful to manage at times, but he just holds me when I cry until I calm down. After a while I stop crying because he’s calmed me and I just lean into his chest and bond to him all the more. And that bonding is also a highly a sexual bond. If I don’t desire him, then I’m not feeling bonded to him.

In the world we live in today, sex is promoted as a casual and androgynous thing, and if you, as a woman, cannot reach orgasm, then it is obviously because you don’t know enough about your body, aren’t “empowered” enough and aren’t expressing yourself enough and being vocal about your needs, etc.. etc… but I fail to see the wisdom in this mainstream bullshit- and so should you.

I’m not ashamed to cry. I’m not ashamed to want bonding and love. Last night I reached for him, desiring him, because I wanted to feel secure and loved in his arms. He didn’t have to abuse me or hurt me to make me desire or want him. In fact, it has always been quite the opposite. Yes, it’s a personal thing for sure, but I have said before that I’ve never had a problem orgasming. I’ve also said before that I don’t masturbate, I don’t engage in stupid games and role play. I don’t get all “kinky” or anything. I don’t like that stuff. It strips away, in my mind, what the real and true meaning of sex and the purpose of it is. And if you think for one moment that it’s boring or anything of the sort then you’re wrong.

I try to explain what goes on in my head, though it’s kind of hard sometimes. In my mind it’s so sweet. I was given to him when I was so young and I depended on him to protect me, provide for me and lead me. And even now, I’ve never truly known anything else. I refuse to believe that I’m some freak of nature just because I can have an orgasm! It’s funny how in the modern world women are so empowered and are supposed to be sexually liberated but most have never even had an orgasm during sex and then you see articles and talk about how maybe it’s not even natural to have one!

But it seems so natural inside. I’m just simply expressing and feeling what is feminine so deep inside of me. And the truth of the matter is that the most feminine women are emotional, don’t make any sense, and are largely dependent on a man to take care of them. That is just a fact of life. Like I’ve also said before, the thought of paid employment has always weighed heavily on my heart because it would strip away my dependence on him. It would separate me from him. It changes the game entirely and that’s why I’ve always had a problem with it. But I am by no means lazy. I work hard every day. I’m up before the sun every morning, yet I’m still feminine. I’m still dependent.

I have no obligations outside of the home, then I just submit myself to my husband and rely on him. Sex is good and beautiful and part of what makes it so is because I’ve been with him- and only him- since I was so young. I don’t like girl power positions or anything like that. I lay down and let him admire my body. It’s OK to let him inside because I know I’m safe. He gives me everything I need and it’s easy to relax in sex. It’s a psychological thing as well as an overwhelming physical thing. It’s only best when it completely overwhelms me. I can feel him so deep inside of me, and that’s what’s precious about it. It’s precious because my sexuality is precious. It’s pure and sweet and there’s nothing degrading about it. I tell him that I feel bonded to him and feeling his strength and feeling him cover me is part of what makes it relaxing, when I feel safe.

I couldn’t ever see how I could feel the same being an independent, empowered woman. I’ve never known *how* I orgasm. I just do. I just feel that I’m a woman. It’s easy to open up to the same man you’ve been with since you were young and let him inside. It’s easy to share yourself that way. I’ve seen some red-pill types try to say that it’s impossible to keep being attracted to someone in a monogamous relationship, or that only “alpha” bad-boys can make a woman “wet.” I have to wonder what planet they are living on if that’s the way they live their lives. Even more than a decade on I’m still having sex with him, still desiring him.

When traditional gender roles come into play and the man is the leader/provider/protector a woman’s husband will always also be her lover (assuming she actually does love him). She will still desire him even when he lets his guard down and acts natural. Like I love my husband for who he is, so long as he’s being the man I need him to be. If he ever started trying to employ “game” on me or anything like that it would hurt me real bad. I’d pull away from him and not trust him. I’ve said before that the fact that I depended on him created an atmosphere of passion and love where I’d always long for him- and I did. We have always been best friends, companions, lovers. I’ve cared for him in his weak moments and laughed at his dorky ones. That’s the way it’s meant to be and I feel sorry for men out there who believe that the only options in life they have to keep a woman attracted is to either be the “alpha” who keeps a harem or to constantly go from woman to woman living the single life and never settling down. I also feel sorry for women who have to play games and let men treat them badly in order to be attracted to a man.

It doesn’t have to be that way. You can be deeply fulfilled and have passion beyond your wildest dreams. It’s Ok for him to lavish gifts on me because I belong to him and he provides for me. I know he thinks I’m beautiful and that doesn’t turn me off. There’s a big difference between some “beta” chump who goes around following a woman with puppy dog eyes lavishing gifts on her in the hopes that maybe- just maybe!- he might get a yes one day and a man that lavishes gifts on a woman because she belongs to him. I remember my own husband, when talking about something, making it clear that I belong to him when we were talking about him providing for me and everything.

And I will write more in the future. I just want to try to make a few pieces to share with younger women (especially I’m trying to aim for the girls in their teenage years especially to prepare them and help them) showing them a better way and life to live. You don’t have to start having kids right away (or have any at all), but bonding and allowing yourself to be given over to a man (hopefully one close to your age, even better if you grew up with him or went to school with him, so you can grow together) to take care of you in your youthful years can give you lasting bonding/passion and a stable life that will last for decades.

To keep this post from becoming any lengthier, I’ll write more in the future to try to delve deeper into the issues of sex, bonding, femininity, etc… But for the young girls out there, don’t start having sex with multiple men and babies with more than one guy, whatever path you choose in life. It’s OK to pursue a passion or dream that you feel called inside to pursue but if you pursue college education, career and independence just simply because that’s what society has told you to do or those around you like your family are pushing and pressuring you to do so, then you may never know the truth depth of femininity and bonding with a man that comes from relying on him.

 

Other Reading:

 

Why Women Shouldn’t Work

 

Mom for President

 

http://athriftyhomemaker.blogspot.com/2016/07/the-war-on-femininity-part-2-female-role.html

 

https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/always-listen-to-your-wife/

 

 

 

A Piece Of My Heart I Give To You

How many times do I wish that I had listened to the words that my mother had said
Instead of living a life believing that I was better off dead
So I tell you now never to do the things I have done
Choose your man wisely, love him through and through
Love and hold him so truly, so gently and tenderly
But never give up your independence, lest you be trapped as I have been
Lest you live in the very same hell that I have lived
Don’t believe all those words he says because they aren’t true
He only says it all just to get to you
He’ll tell you any lie- he’ll say anything
He’ll get you to come back to him only so he can trap you again
With him nothing will ever change
But for my own sweet daughter, please do not live the life that I have lived
Don’t make the mistakes that I have made
So beautiful I am, he says to me
He’s always so awe-struck by my beauty
But no better than a slave-girl in a palace am I
Given all my physical needs, even while my soul dies inside
The movements of my body when I dance in the evening hours expressions of both pain and love within
My hair that flows softly in the wind, the beads and jewels that adorn me
Soft and gentle movements expressions of femininity
Soft and flowing fabrics accentuating every curve
But neither physical beauty nor all the riches in the world can replace the needs of the heart
So love when it’s time to love, but leave when it’s time to leave
Admire him when he’s strong
Admire the one that’s honorable and true
Love him with all your heart
But never forget what I say here to you
Don’t make the same mistakes, never live with this regret
Even when the time comes that I am gone
I pray that my writings forever remain here with you
They are the words written upon my heart
Words of sorrow and words of joy, written through the laughter and the tears
May they influence and move you
A piece of my heart that I give to forever remain with you

Time…Most merciful of medicines and most hated and feared of all enemies…Time…Time has taken it all from me…

A Woman Through and Through

A Woman Through and Through

I woke up this morning with the sweetest of all songs written upon my heart
My thoughts from the night having stayed with me even when the sun arose in the sky
Oh husband, oh lover, oh dearest friend of mine
Allow me to persuade you now with my words so pure and true
With this heart that is so tender and breaks so easily
This heart that gives and loves oh so faithfully
With this body that is small, yet tender, soft and yielding
I am soft on the inside, like the gentle wind that blows across the land at night
Let me take your worries and all of your fears
Come lose yourself deep within my depths
Let me sway you with the pleading in these soft green eyes when a gentle tear does fall from my face
I could never hurt you, only love you
My body is full and ripe, every curve made to receive your love
My soul does bleed so easily, when harsh words rip it to shreds
So I plead with you not to hurt me now
Be easy with your words and actions towards me
Even though I do persevere, I do still break so easily
With your arms that are so strong and sturdy, come wrap them around me
Run your fingers gently through my hair
Kiss me softly upon my cheek
Calm and protect me with your strength and abiding love
I cannot always know this mind of mine
But I do so well know my heart inside
My breasts are so soft and supple, caress them lovingly with your rough hands
Your touch brings a wave of pleasure so sweet and warm through me
My stomach is flat and smooth, my waist indented in the most poetic and beautiful way
My legs and back are strong
My feet are bare; their soles calloused from running across the rocks
My hair is scented to entice you, come inhale deeply of it
I let it grow so long; I have never cut it
But I think I understand it all now
My body and mind have matured
I am neither man nor child, but woman through and through
My mind, my sweet smell and my being all exclaim that it is indeed true
And a woman is what I’ll forever be for you

Let It Hurt

Pain and suffering I hold deep in my heart. The feminine suffers pain in the heart and in the body, sometimes caused by the masculine. That’s just the way it is. I accept it, I embrace it, even when I can hardly endure it. It’s hard sometimes to withstand such pain. But I’m a woman. I bleed and I feel and it isn’t always pretty. I don’t always make sense of what I feel or of what I say- even to myself. But I’m a woman. I’m not meant to be understood. I’m not meant to be so stable. I’ll cry. I’ll scream sometimes. I’ll terrify the living Hell out of you with the storm that brews deep inside of me. Don’t try to understand me, just be that fortress that holds strong until the storm has passed.

But would you love me any other way? If I asked you to get down on your knees and cry, to show your softer side, to be emotional, to tell me how you really feel deep inside- would you like it? Would I offend you as a man? Would I be attracted to you if you became more like a woman? You know I wouldn’t, you feel it deep inside. I’d say and insist with my words that I want you to be that way, but I’d only hate you if you truly were. I’d only be repulsed if you truly were. So don’t ask me to shut down the storm inside, even when the waves are threatening and fierce, even when they rock the boat so much that it might capsize. The storm can’t be tamed or contained, only endured. It can destroy and it can heal. It has a dark side. I’ve known this to be true. I know that I feel it on the inside. There is a dark and dangerous side to femininity, as there is a dark side to masculinity. A man in a fit of rage can be terrifying to a woman as much as he is attractive to her, because he is displaying masculinity in its most pure and raw form, as a woman does with her nurturing and her emotions.

But ladies don’t hate him because he’s a man, don’t stamp out that masculinity (and on the flip-side, don’t ever let the world stamp out that feminine light within you. It’s OK to cry and be emotional, just like it’s OK for him to be withdrawn or even a bit aggressive). Just try to understand him, to feel him. And I know. I see it all the more every day. But I also know that peace of belonging completely to somebody, of holding the love of a capable and strong man, and it was worth the pain endured.

I remember how I laughed as we sat in the park eating peaches like teenagers. I clung to his arm for reassurance and protection as we walked together along the dam. Then I turned the heads of all the men who saw me like I always do. But I was docile- I didn’t actively seek their attention. I just existed. I was just a woman, letting my light shine. I know he withdraws, I feel him when he’s about to. He needs to. I need him to. But so long as I can still feel him, so long as I still have the assurance that he’s there, so long as I still have his love. I know that need. A man has to withdraw so as not to be clingy or needy and perhaps even to work on himself to improve himself, to sort through life’s problems the way a man does. That polarity has to exist in male-female interactions and it is ultimately the man’s burden and responsibility to keep the attraction going, even if it sometimes causes panic in a woman’s mind.

I look at the world and how it seems to hate masculinity, and even popular celebrities that decry men who try to run “game” on women. Pick-up-artistry is immoral for men who care nothing for women and seek to deceive them and use them, but men are ultimately doing it for women. Men want and need women and are constantly seeking to improve themselves to get women. Men have to be the seducers, or else nobody would ever be having sex- and that’s truth.

And I think I know. I think I know that on some level the man has to hurt you. It should never be extreme or abusive or with mal intent, but there has to be some level of pain on the emotional level. Sometimes there’s even pain on a physical level. But as a woman I cling to him, need him, and want him to take care of me because he’s strong. I need him to be strong- to be all the things that I am not- but being secure in his love and commitment. No woman wants a weak man any more than a man feels that deep attraction to a masculine woman who’s just “one of the guys”- even if both will take what’s in front of them until something better comes along.

Maybe all I am saying is this- let it hurt some, but only if the man is good and true and his intentions are true. Only for a man that will really always be there for you- your husband on the sexual level and trustworthy other men in your life that you look up to. Just as men have to stay strong and endure the storm that is female emotions (even when they want to run, and many in fact will run away fearing or unable to handle it), allow the man to seduce, to work his game. But only if the intent is to have a better relationship with you, only if the intent is to make himself stronger and more attractive to you and ultimately make himself a better man in the process.

My husband would withdraw a lot and sometimes it was annoying, sometimes I even bitched about it, but I understand that I wanted him to do that some. I didn’t want to be with a woman who wanted non-stop “connection.” But I knew he was committed to me so it wasn’t a problem. So long as I could still feel him, still know he was there and was true and devoted to me and fulfilling his responsibilities towards me, it didn’t matter. He even has women he talks to all the time. I’ve seen women calling him- and I have never even once given a damn because I know he’s good and true. I don’t even have the slightest clue where he is half of the time because I let him be a man and trust in his love for me.

I’ve let the men in my life beat me down some and accepted it when it wasn’t abusive, anyway. If they were just trying to protect me, or retain authority I consented to it. I knew I was being disregarded or pushed aside and I silently consented to it, just the same as I have cried and threw my tantrums and caused some havoc and the men have dealt with it. I’m a woman. I don’t want to be a man and I know that men, no matter what they might say, don’t ultimately want women to be or act like men do. They want women to be women- and we likewise want them to be men.

A woman will test a man, to make sure he’s still there for her, to see how strong he really is. Similarly, men will also test women to see her value and worth; to see if she’ll easily give in to him or if she is worth investing in, to see if she is morally superior to him and his own (often short-term) motivations. There isn’t a single good or bad thing that men inflict upon women that women don’t inflict something similar upon men in return- and that’s life.

Nonetheless, it’s a woman’s burden to weed out what a man’s true intentions are. Many manosphere men are damaged, and they attract damaged women in return. In the end they have nothing. You don’t want men like that and you don’t want to be the kind of woman these men attract and abuse. But don’t be annoyed or angry when he runs game, just filter out the intentions behind it. Men run game to be attractive; to be able to get and keep women- especially women of high value who value themselves and guard their sexuality.

Men are difficult, but so are women. I just tell all the women who read my words what I discover as I go through life, what I see in the world around me and the things I have learned and the things I’ve understood. Understand men and why they act as they do. There are bad men you can’t trust to be sure and men you should protect yourself from (and seek protection from). And that’s our burden, and a heavy burden our sexuality can be to bear at times! I know I feel it every day. I feel the burden of it and sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes being a woman is hard, so very hard and painful. But if a man loves you then you can endure the pain masculinity can sometimes cause, just as a man in love will endure a woman’s words (that she often times doesn’t mean, at least not in the way they come out of her mouth) and emotions, no matter how cutting or frantic.