Category Archives: Personal Relationships

The Sanctity of Marriage

As is always the way with me, I’m a thinker, a doer. Lately it has been on my mind to write a few things. Many aspects in life and including the comments I’ve received here have led me to think about these things. First off, I just want to say that it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about the way you choose to live your life whenever you choose to live in a traditional way. I don’t have anyone I’m trying to please and the opinions even of my own relatives are unimportant to me. What they think about my lifestyle doesn’t matter.

Recently I had to send a formal letter to my own mother telling her that I wished no further contact with neither her nor any of my relatives. They were interfering in my life and it concerned me. It was getting completely out of hand. They would rather see my marriage ruined, they would rather see me finish college and live the life they want for me to be living[i].

But the thing is that none of that matters to me. And I’m writing and saying all of this because I know just how many young women out there are facing the same pressures from relatives[ii]. But like I told my own mother, I love her- I really do- I’ve always longed for a good relationship with her but I know that it’s just never going to happen. Ultimately, they are not what is of importance. They want me to live in a certain way but they won’t be the ones who ultimately pay the price for the life they believe I should be living- I will be.

Traditionally the law threw a cloak over marriage[iii][iv]. Even in religious beliefs, it is well established that a man and women leave the sphere of their relatives and join together. From then on out they are one and all others take second stage (or in some cases, such as is often the case with friends and acquaintances, cease to matter altogether). Only in matriarchal or tribal societies does marriage not take on such importance[v]. In these kinds of societies, even the raising of children becomes some community matter and there are no permanent and stable romantic relationships between men and women.

The existence and establishment of “gender equality” and “gay marriage” have lessened the importance and sacredness of marriage by obliterating separate rights and responsibilities between the sexes and stripping the true meaning from sex- but even here many jurisdictions still cloak marriage in various ways (such as exclusive rights to offspring within the marriage and immunity regarding testifying in criminal/civil cases). Where the last of these privileges fall by the wayside, it means that society no longer sees marriage as something worth preserving nor protecting.

This showcases what marriage traditionally meant to our society. Traditionally, the husband was head of the household. His wife and his children were his[vi]. The marriage was sacred and outsiders had no right to come in and interfere with the relationship of a man and his wife, or of parents and their legitimate offspring unless compelling circumstances necessitated the law’s interference. When you take away the foundations of the institution of marriage you also strip away all these protections.

Also keep in mind here that it doesn’t matter what the “majority” are supposedly thinking. Your average, ordinary citizen is largely ignorant of the law[vii] and the world around him (or her). Despite all our fancy technological gadgets, human beings are not any more or less ignorant than what we were thousands of years ago. Human nature doesn’t change and likewise humans tend to let emotion overwhelm them and get into a mob mentality where all common sense flies out the window. But that’s why your average, ordinary citizen doesn’t have the power to make laws or policies[viii].

It doesn’t matter what others say or do. Your best protection is to educate yourself (this can be done outside of formal settings) and marry a good man while you’re young. From there on out- no matter what the society might say right now as the society is not always right- your husband should be your everything. A young woman should start out by looking to her husband for everything. He should be your protection, your provision and your guidance that you look to. You will also hold great influence over him as well as many a man have accomplished great things when they had the guidance and support of a good and faithful woman by their side.

Relatives, in-laws, friends can all be nasty and vicious and tear apart marriages if they are allowed to. That’s why the marital relationship must be first in importance and why we need to get to the point in society once again where the husband is the head of house and responsible for his family and, absent compelling circumstances, rights are only established and defined within the state of marriage. In our world today, marriage is regarded as a mere piece of paper that is optional whenever men and women procreate with each other- but this has got to change.

The marriage protects your privacy, the marriage protects your well-being. Also realize your influence as a woman. I never felt that my mother or relatives had my best interests at heart, which is why I always rejected the things they wanted for me and I always left their side and their influence to bond with my husband. I knew that my protection was only going to be found in him. I knew that no one else could ever protect, love or understand me the same. Others will invade on your home, attempt to run your life and invade your personal sphere and privacy if they are allowed to. Marriage should block this from happening and traditionally it always did by clearing establishing rights and responsibilities that could not be obtained anywhere else[ix].

Under coverture, for instance, husband and wife were considered as one[x]. A wife could represent her husband or conduct business in his absence even if need be, as they were one. A man could take his wife, wherever he found her, and take her with him wherever he went, as he had a right to keep her by his side and nobody had a right to keep him from her (unless she had obtained a legal separation from him). This protected her, and this protected the husband as well. A wife had a right to the support and protection of her husband, as he was responsible for her[xi]. He had the obligation to support her, and this ensured her security when she left her family and had children. The idea is to leave one’s relatives and cling to one another, forsaking all others[xii]. Even where your children are concerned, teach them the sanctity of marriage as one day they will leave the home to form their own families.

When the law upholds traditional marriage, the door can be slammed in the face of outsiders and all others as what goes on inside the home is sacred, because the marital relationship is sacred. I know that my husband knows me better than anyone else, and being there under his wing keeps others from harming and harassing me. My privacy is assured, my security is assured. This is important.

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[i] This is what life looks like when following the feminist plan, check out my earlier article where I discussed my thoughts regarding this: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/why-young-women-shouldnt-listen-to-their-mothers-generation/

[ii] One recent comment (though there have been many just the same) on one of my recent postings showcases the pressures many women get, being forced into feminist lifestyles which they do not want on account of pressure from relatives https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2017/11/30/listen-to-me-victimology-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-1133

[iii] For another example of the law legally cloaking marriage and protecting children and families, see The United States Supreme Court case of Michael H. v. Gerald D., 491 U.S. 110 (1989)

[iv] There are numerous ways in which the law has done this, from spousal immunity to testifying in criminal trials, to disallowing paternity suits to children born within marriage, to protection in cases of disability and death, etc… Some states, such as California and New York, for instance, no longer regard marriage as a sacred institution, instead declaring that a child may even have as many as three legal parents in California, https://verdict.justia.com/2013/10/15/california-allows-children-two-legal-parents an unmarried father having the right to claim rights to a child being raise by a woman and her lawful husband, and New York, for instance, recognizes no protections regarding privileged communications even regarding those occurring within legal marriage before the marriage has broken down.

[v] The Mosuo, from China, for instance, are probably the last modern example of this kind of matriarchal family structure: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/01/the-kingdom-of-women-the-tibetan-tribe-where-a-man-is-never-the-boss https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/19/china-mosuo-tribe-matriarchy The Late Daniel Amneus also portrayed the matriarchal way in his infamous book “The Garbage Generation: On the Need for Patriarchy” which showcases that many historical societies had no concept of even the word “father” as is the custom in patriarchal societies.

[vi] See my previous article https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/the-wrongs-of-the-mens-movement/ for more info on a father’s authority under coverture

[vii] Look at this poll, for instance, as reported in an article on CNN https://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/poll-constitution/index.html which states that more than 1/3 of individuals surveyed couldn’t name a single right protected by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, only ¼ could name all three branches of government, and 1/3 couldn’t name any branch of government.

[viii] The framers of the Constitution intentionally feared a direct democracy, as well as too strong of a central government (even though they realized a stronger centralized government was necessary as the Articles of Confederation were weak and thus had to be repealed, and ultimately replaced, with the new Constitution that called for a Republic form of government where people elect representatives but do not directly make the laws and policies), and feared putting important matters in the hands of the common people http://www.americantraditions.org/Articles/Why%20Our%20Founders%20Feared%20a%20Democracy.htm

[ix] The old protections of marriage are numerous and plentiful. Check out some of my earlier articles on illegitimacy, for instance, for more references to ways in which this is so: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/tag/illegitimacy/

[x] See, for instance, William Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England https://www.thoughtco.com/blackstone-commentaries-profile-3525208 ; http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/blackstone-commentaries-on-the-laws-of-england-in-four-books-vol-1 As American law is derivative of the common law of England, which was adopted by the colonists and still, to this day, remain our laws unless otherwise changed.

[xi] Consider the old English common-law “Doctrine of Necessaries” https://definitions.uslegal.com/d/doctrine-of-necessaries/

[xii] Though still treading the bounds of political correctness, consider this article which cites Biblical references about forsaking all others within marriage: Protecting Marriage from Outside Intruders: http://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kreitz/christian/Boundaries/09intruders.pdf

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Not All Women Are Like That

I know that I have challenged you men to tell me that I was wrong about it all, to tell me that I speak untruths about the reality of life and the world around me, yet not a one of you have done so. Yet instead you call me one-in-a-million, a rare gem and flower in a world of evil, greed and superficiality. I’d like to think that it were true, as all humans would, that I was truly something special and different, yet I can nonetheless guarantee that I might well be able to assemble a battalion of women who think as I do; who feel as I do; who believe and love as I do.

What many do not realize is that even in a court of law, an expert witness upon the stand- even where generally accepted as reliable forensic evidence is concerned, is only stating an opinion. It is then up to the trier of fact alone to take in the totality of the circumstances to draw a rational conclusion as to whether or not said testimony and evidence presented is reliable, accurate, factual, relevant or likely to accurately shed light upon the truth of the matter asserted.

Take your cult leader who says to the world that All Women Are Like That and put him upon the stand to testify. Is he rational? Is he competent? Does he bring his own biases and prejudices to the witness stand? Does he have a personal interest in the outcome of this search for the truth? Does he have motive and reason to falsify his testimony? Would a rational and competent judge impeach him from the stand and instruct the jury to disregard his testimony as being overtly biased and likely false? Does he have a reputation and history for speaking untruths?

Though the universe is yet bound by the laws of physics and mathematics- laws which are universal truths and which none can escape- scientific theories are just that- theories. They are tried and tested and retried and retested in succession- year after year- by human beings wishing to shape the world to their own beliefs and perceptions and further understand and explore the mysteries of the world around them. This is done for a multitude of reasons, such as perhaps mere curiosity all the way up to the bettering of life for all of humanity. The trier of fact- that trier of fact being you, that trier of fact being me– must look carefully at the research, the methods, the individuals in question and the chain of custody for which the research or evidence has gone through in order to arrive at a conclusion whether or not the research and the individual(s) testifying to it can or cannot be trusted- whether or not it is likely to be truthful.

For many men, all women really are like what the manosphere claims them to be. This would likely be so because in their world all women really are like that, because like attracts like and these are the only women that they go around chasing, thus confirming- at least in their minds- their own biases. They don’t know any other kind of woman exists, because they’ve never met one, because they form their opinions based upon their own biases and then apply those biases to the world around them. They chase a certain type of woman and then legitimately believe that nothing else exists.

But a woman is more than capable of loving deeply and truly. Yes, I love ****- but only because I love the man that it is attached to. So wondrous, so beautiful, I think during the act that he’s so good, he feels so good; could anything feel better? My mind is filled with the thoughts of him being inside of me, of him taking all of me in the most beautiful and wondrous way that I am made as a woman. Promiscuity is damaging- the very thought of it- because of the wondrous way in which I am made. Valuable and precious it is, which is why the taking of it via force, lack of consent, or by some other form of deceptive means is psychologically devastating to the point that some women can never heal from such abuses.

I don’t think of partying, bar-hopping, of being used or abused or living a life “wild and free.” A cold beer or wine holds no appeal unless I have him by my side to love and hold me. I’m attracted to his strength, his dominance, the feel and weight of his body, the solidness of it and the way I feel so full inside of me- full because he’s inside of me, knowing he’ll never leave me, that every inch of me is beautiful, loved and cherished. It’s better if he errs on the side of seriousness than foolishness, hardness rather than softness, for I am not happy if I feel as though I cannot hold him tight and depend upon him.

But sex is more, it is about that emotional connection, about that closeness to him that cannot be replaced by any other relationship, whether in the form of friendships, relatives or acquaintances. If he’s inside of me, then all thoughts disappear to be replaced by him and only him. He is my protection, my provision, there is an economic basis, need and responsibility, but I can go back to many years ago and produce documentary evidence showing my love for him and my written and verbal testimony to that love.

It is that love, for without it life is bleak and holds no appeal. It is that need not to be alone and to be complete inside. It is that love for which even the most damaged modern woman or man still longs for on the inside. It is that love that only grows stronger through the hard times, the fights, the everything, because he knows me inside and out, as I know him. It’s the kind of love that endures over decades because none other could ever love or know me that way. Don’t discount me as a bitch when I speak of responsibilities, for humans create these responsibilities out of love and a need for one another. If I tell him that he is my one and only one, that my love is true, it is because I am his, as he in return is mine. It is the same beauty of humanity that has endured and remained unchanged throughout all of time. Not all women are as you perceive them to be, if only you were looking in the right places with the right intentions, you’d see that a woman’s heart could be pure and true as the finest of all treasures.

Because Women Wanted it That Way

I think it is one of the saddest things, that at Christmas dinner I noticed my cousin was starting to act like a royal jackass to me and the other women in the family. It was completely unprecedented and I had to wonder what on earth was going on with him. This is the cousin that I grew up with, the same fun-loving one that used to laugh and joke and generally have a good time with everyone.

He got married a few years back and they have a daughter (I think she’s about 3) together. But I also know that my cousin has never been the primary breadwinner for his family and I’ve seen what has amounted to him acting very un-masculine in many respects, even going so far as to engage in lots of “baby-talk” and the like with others around him, signifying that he’s been engaging in a lot of primary child-care work. He also looked pretty uncomfortable whenever his wife mentioned to my husband that she was working two jobs there for a while to take care of them, which made me wonder if there was something more going on with him, like perhaps some underlying feeling of emasculation or inferiority, and then, given a couple of comments that I overheard with him saying that “everything has to be PC these days” I had to wonder in all seriousness if he’d begun to frequent manosphere or red-pill blogs. I have no way of knowing if he does (or has) for sure, of course.

The thing is that his wife is a wonderful woman and my cousin is a great guy. As far as I know, he’s never had any legal trouble and hasn’t ever done any drugs or really consumed alcohol hardly at all, and in his younger years he’d always frequent the gym and stay in good shape and everything. But I noticed too that there was this subtle antagonism between him and his wife, an antagonism that I’ve never seen before, like she was keeping him at arm’s length. In fact, over the years they’ve always been so close; always talking about their future together and hoping they’d last a lifetime the way our grandparents did. Though it’s not my business or anybody’s else’s (for the most part) about what is or isn’t happening in their relationship, it’s also true that sometimes those on the outside can see things that those on the inside, in the midst of the drama, cannot. And I saw things I had never seen before.

Though I’ve never cried before over my grandfather’s passing (he wouldn’t want me or anybody else to) I did cry for a while whenever I got home, thinking what he might have said had he still been alive today and had been there.

My grandfather was a product of a generation of men who knew what it meant to be honorable and chivalrous towards women and those weaker than themselves, and knew what it took to have a marriage that lasted a lifetime and knew the meaning and value of hard work. They weren’t “weak,” they weren’t “beta,” they were real men in a world where everyone knew their place and what was expected of them.

There were times when him and my grandmother were still raising their children that he would work at the factory for 12 hours a day, oftentimes 7 days a week. He was also a WWII veteran who went to war straight out of high-school, never complaining or whining that women weren’t drafted, whenever his country called him to. My grandfather also worked for a long time as an electrician, and they resided in various locations around the country, primarily in California, Texas, Arkansas and Illinois. My grandmother was telling me about it once how you would just get used to the routine of getting up where she’d fix his breakfast and lunch and then he’d come home, and they’d go to sleep, only to get up and do it all over again the next day. Contrast that life to the life now where we have nothing but a generation of complainers and men that won’t grow up and have no sense of any ethical duty that they owe towards women.

But it’s not all the men’s fault. The fact of the matter is that most men, I believe, would rather take care of women. I’ve had men e-mail me and leave comments on the site saying even how they’d love to have lasting relationships, be chivalrous and take care of women, but that they have no success with women when they do so. Some have even commented that, from what they see, women want nothing more than men who are jerks.

It has to be understood that men out there in the manosphere or red-pill blogs aren’t out there promoting their ideals or adapting their behaviors unilaterally according to their own selfish desires, but rather they are responding to what they believe that women want.
Have you ever considered why, as policy, that men made more money than women? That only men were allowed to vote? That men were considered heads-of household? That men primarily have always held positions higher up in companies and political office? The one thing that society refuses to consider is that this was the cultural and legal way because women wanted it that way.

Women want their men to be strong and dominant and in a world where women are outpacing men in all areas of life (academically, politically, economically, socially) the game changes to be one of men becoming sadists, jerks, and assholes in order to please their women or have any romantic success with them. Most men, from what it seems (I’m not a man so correct me if I’m truly wrong here, I’m just going by observation and what I’ve been able to research) don’t really want to be jerks, engage in BDSM or any of those things. It’s actually women who want those things. Consider that the Fifty-Shades culture was promoted primarily by women, not men.

If women are superior to their men naturally in everyday life or “equal” to them, then the only thing left is for men to degrade women. But the reality is that nobody is truly happy that way. Game-playing doesn’t last. Sooner or later the mask is going to slip off and then the truth emerges. Are you genuine or has it all been a put-on show?

Men of the past didn’t have to degrade their women because everybody (men, women and children) “knew their place” and everybody had their own roles to play. Men could be chivalrous and not turn women off because women were still largely dependent on men. I depend upon my husband to protect me and provide for all my needs. It’s the way that I bond with him- truly, really, deeply. He doesn’t have to play games, though he does have to be masculine. He doesn’t have to degrade me because I’m already weaker than him and dependent on him. I rejected independence and paid employment primarily because I didn’t want to create that separation. I wanted to rely on him as bigger and stronger than me so I didn’t have to think about the outside world and could just hold onto him and let him lead me. It allows him to be dominant in a non-abusive and non-degrading way that is beneficial instead of harmful and counterproductive and I don’t have to feel bad afterward but rather happy and content.

After we were first married he tried to degrade me and call me names one time during sex and I started crying, yelling at him and telling him to get off of me and not to touch me. I didn’t like it. I wanted to feel safe and protected in the arms of a strong man that I depended on, not degraded. Guess what? He never did it again. But we were both young, and he was probably only doing it because he’d heard it passed around that “women like jerks” and erroneously thought it would turn me on. Once he discovered it wouldn’t work, he stopped doing it.

And women need to understand this. Men are generally clueless about women anyway and what women want but it’s made all the worse when feminist-minded women are the only ones given the spotlight in the media, speaking about what “all” women supposedly want. It’s a very confusing thing for both sexes because nobody knows how to act or what is expected of them.

This is where women have to be assertive and make it known to their men what they really want. If you’re into a guy but he’s acting like a jerk then you need to let him know that you don’t like it and that you aren’t going to consider taking things further with him unless he gives you the respect and consideration you deserve and require. This doesn’t mean being dominant. It’s not asserting power over men for women to tell men what they want and what they need or demand respect. It is essential.

If the modern woman continues to demand that men put on the clown suit and play that role, then men will do it. However, for all the women out there (and the ones that contact me too who are traditional ladies) who want tradition, you need to speak up. Let your voice be heard that feminists don’t speak for you and also that men engaging in games that the red-pill teaches is not acceptable behavior. Tell the men in your life that you want them to be more traditional, chivalrous and they will oblige. Who cares what others think? The ones who put you down have probably already destroyed their lives and failed in their relationships and want to drag you down to their level to feel better about themselves and raise their own value. We are the products of a generation of men and women who taught their sons and daughters how to fail in life– plain and simple. Our parents are all divorced and a product of a largely spoiled generation that refused to ever grow up. Their only legacy- unlike the legacy of my grandfather’s generation and the generations that came before- is one of devastation and destruction.

Men and women don’t trust each other- and for good reason. Things weren’t even this bad whenever I was growing up (and that was only a short time ago). I don’t think men really want to treat women bad, they just feel that they don’t have any other choice. Consider the culture around us and where it’s heading. It’s plain awful. But men are only adapting according to women’s preferences (no matter how much they insist otherwise). In a world where women depend upon men to provide for them and take care of them, men don’t have to be jerks because they already have an important part to play in society and are in the dominant position because women need them. Society today says women don’t- and shouldn’t- need men.

I don’t like it when my husband acts weak or soft and I’ve told him so. There are times when he can get away with it but, especially if things are bad in the relationship, he’s going to have to step up and act more dominant than he might normally act. There are times when a man has to be more serious and put aside foolishness in accordance with the needs of his woman and his family. But that doesn’t mean playing games. Game playing doesn’t work in the long-term. Any man can be a jerk and get a woman’s attention short-term, just the same as any woman can flaunt herself in front of a man and get his attention in the short-term- but it doesn’t last. Men have just as much of a need to bond as what women do (more, perhaps), whether or not they will admit it (would you seriously like it if they did admit just how vulnerable they are to needing a woman? Probably not. As a woman you just want to instinctively know and feel that it’s true) and history can teach to us what works and doesn’t work. Isn’t that why we study it?

A civilization where women are dominant over men and men do nothing more than play games is simply not practical and in the end nobody wants such a thing and everybody is miserable. Plain and simple. So, as we head into 2018, I think it’s time for society to make a change and time for traditionalist men and women to finally have our voices heard. And trust me, I think that day is finally coming. I might have been a lone freak 5 or 6 years ago promoting traditional gender roles and modesty (which is at the heart of a woman’s happiness and even sexual pleasure), but not now.

Recommended:

The Failure of Feminism

The Myth of the Non-Existent Traditional Man

Ok, there is one myth that I would like to put to rest right now, the myth that there are no traditional men out there. The truth of the matter is that nobody knows how many there are, just like nobody truly knows how many traditional women are out there either, but the fact is they do exist, and in much greater numbers than many seem to think. In fact, over the years I’ve noticed that there seem to be more traditional men (seem to be) than there are traditional women. In fact, I’ve known of more than one woman that ended up leaving her husband/boyfriend because he wanted her to stay home (actually this seems to be very common if you want to know the truth about it), so you see more than one reason and the pressures from society against traditional men that compel them to stay quiet about their beliefs and walk on eggshells and dare not approach the subject with their wives. But apart from the fact that there are traditional men, there are men as well who are the sole providers, or at least want to be.

But you’re not going to hear about these men out there and you certainly won’t be finding them whining on some MGTOW forum about how all women are evil and how much of victims they are. That’s because there’s no need for these men to cause a commotion, because they are not victims. They have their shit and their homes in order and they have absolutely no need to fear stuff like “divorce rape” or the things MRAs like to whine about non-stop. They don’t sit around fearing and being paranoid about women. They are the providers, they love and cherish their wives and give to them what they choose, and what they can afford to give. These men are strong and are usually admired by their wives, their wives desire them and they also usually have great sex lives (this from my own personal experience and the experiences I’ve heard from other women). They don’t have to whine about how their wives won’t give them sex, and it’s rare that their wives will actually go out and have an affair (they have too much to lose and are generally hard-to-get women in the first place anyway). They trust their wives, and those who are the sole providers know their wives won’t- can’t- just up and leave them without suffering greatly in the process. Even when their wives do leave, they usually come back to them. Most of these men’s marriages far outlast the marriages of others, and in the event they do get divorced there usually isn’t much (if any) fighting and the man generally gets things his way and doesn’t fight with or abuse his ex-wife.

These men don’t have anything to complain about, and in fact most that I’ve ever known or heard about do not like MRAs and believe them to be not only foolish, but manipulative and abusive. Some of these men actually have wives that get involved in this red-pill nonsense, until their wives find out all the red-pill is is a bunch of abuse tactics and is, in reality, far from traditional or Godly.

On the occasion you do hear about these men, some like to call them “alpha providers” or something of the sort, and most manosphere men think they are myths, and question if these men really exist. Well, they do. They are not a myth. Notice the number of homemaker blogs that have seemed to pop up everywhere over the last few years? Obviously these women have husbands that are their sole/primary providers. Who do you think supports these homemakers to enable them to be homemakers anyway? Their provider husbands.

But back to the main point, there are plenty of traditional men, or at least men who want to be traditional, but you just don’t usually hear about them. Do you think my husband gets on some MGTOW forums and whines and complains or writes mile-long articles about the supposed sorry state of affairs for men these days? Of course not. He actually laughs at these guys. On the outside, everyone knows he gives me the world and I mean everything to him, but what they also don’t see is what happens, or how he reacts, if there really is a threat to his authority. Yes, a few that have been really close to us over the years have caught mere glimpses of me actually submitting to him, but that’s about it. He doesn’t have to make it public that he’s in charge and, despite outside observances and expectations from society that the wife really has a tight grip on her husband’s *****, or has them in her purse, what’s happening inside the home and marital relationship of these men looks a lot different, you just aren’t going to see it, because these kinds of men don’t make a big scene about it, mostly because they don’t have to. There’s no need to. They also don’t have to play tricks or games either. There’s no need.

That’s not to say that I, or any other traditional woman, are powerless or have no rights. We do. We do have a voice and we always have, and a very important voice at that. Sometimes a wife has to demand her rights and that the husband step up to do what he’s supposed to do. Though I and a few of my other partners-in-crime have managed to land ourselves a place in the “Christian Doormathood” hall of fame (how the heck I ended up under that category, or who on earth is responsible for nominating me I’ll never know), the traditional wife is not a doormat. She has the right to be supported, cherished, loved, honored, respected and protected, and to demand such rights if the husband does not fulfill them. In the worst case scenario, she leaves, but all is not a field of daisies for her if she does. It might be Hell if she stays, but it’s only all the worse if she leaves.

A traditional wife that leaves her husband is usually left mostly destitute, dependent on the good graces of her relatives and trying to earn the most meager living imaginable. Her life after leaving her provider husband is usually something that closely resembles Hell and helplessness. In fact, many such women have returned to their husbands for that very reason, giving in to him and doing what he says. No, she doesn’t have much of a choice outside of being with him, and for that particular reason society hates male authority within marriage and pushes and encourages all wives and mothers into the workforce- so they don’t have to submit to male authority within families.

Does it look like such men are victims? No, they are not. That doesn’t mean all has ever been perfect. Sometimes a man screws up and allows his family to fall apart, when he’s not being that man he should be. The traditional man is only human and he doesn’t always acts or do as he should, and sometimes he royally screws up and lets things go, gives his power away to another (his wife or another man to take her affections away), but the point is that you don’t hear about traditional men or the “alpha provider” because they aren’t victimized, and instead of joining up with the manosphere, most scoff at them as a bunch of wusses, and rightly so.

Yes, families are in a bad way today, and not only are traditional families becoming rare but so are families that have managed to stay in-tact or form at all. But throughout history, where the man has the authority and provider responsibility within the family, he has never been a victim. If you give the husband responsibility without authority attached to it, then yeah you’re going to have a problem. That’s just asking to be taken advantage of and get taken to the cleaners whenever the wife decides to leave him (and if she’s independent and her own breadwinner she can). But you give him the appropriate authority to go along with the responsibility, and he’s secure to invest in a woman the way he sees fit. That’s the way it works best. For everyone- individual, family and society.

 

Recommended:

A Woman Needs a Man’s Masculinity/ Random Rant

 

There Are More Traditional Men Than Women Now, I Think!

Listen To Me, Pt. I

I’m not here to say that everything’s OK, because it’s not. I’m not trying to say that everything will be OK in the future, because perhaps it never will be. A repeated question that I have asked myself over the years goes a little something like this: Why me? Good God why me? Why am I so different from everyone else? Why am I such a freak of nature? (Because that’s how I view myself at times, though I’ve learned to embrace it and have gained more self-confidence over time.) I feel what it is that I feel inside, and it just doesn’t go away. But perhaps I’m meant to teach you, to show you a different way than what this world and society tells us. So, if you are a young woman reading this, I do want you to listen up.

And I look at the stats that this site gets oftentimes, and I get a lot of hits from search engines like Google- a ton in fact. There also seems to be a lot of interest in people searching for whether or not married women should go to work and things like that. No matter the lies the mainstream media and Hollywood try to sell us, all is most definitely NOT settled in the hearts and minds of the modern-day woman (or probably not man for that matter either). I try to do the best that I can to teach and to help, because I feel that I was made to write, made to express myself. Of course, for the life of me I can’t figure out why anyone would follow me, it seems people do. So I want to tell young girls and women just starting out in life of a different way to be and to live, to tell something different than what you are hearing all around you and to tell you that it’s OK to stay strong in those beliefs, even though I will tell you that you are going to face a lot of criticism from those around you, especially your feminist mothers and grandmothers.

I know even my own mother, as much as I love her, hates my marriage because I’ve always been dependent on my husband. They want me to be independent at all costs. My maternal grandmother also disowned me last year as well, not only for my differing religious beliefs but political ones as well. They are the type of women who you will hear wanting the goods of tradition yet boasting that “Women are becoming more independent” and saying things like “It’s still a man’s world- but all that is changing now!” Most likely these types will be Republicans and conservatives/moderates who are anti-abortion and pro-Trump supporters. They will tell you how abortion is evil and how they aren’t feminists and don’t hate men yet at the same time be like “You go girl! Get that college degree! Depend on nobody but yourself!”

Sometimes I go through this alone, it seems, and I know that there are plenty of other young women who want a different and better life than what their own mothers lived. You’ve seen their failures, their misery, their stresses, multiple marriages, and the whole juggling career/motherhood thing that just doesn’t work. They can’t seem to keep a man around, or only attract bad ones and drag them in and out of marriage counseling every other year and continuously get burned to where they eventually just give up entirely on men. But there is a different way.

I will tell you now not to waste your youth. But I don’t say this because there is some kind of “wall” where a woman loses all value once she hits a certain age- there’s NOT and don’t believe anyone who tells you there is (namely low-value men with revenge fantasies against the women who rejected them in their youth). It’s only that there is something special about bonding with a man from your youth. There’s something precious about it and relationships established during your youth cannot be replaced. Guys shouldn’t waste their youth either because it’s important for bonding, loving and building a life with someone but I’m mostly here to talk to the girls.

I was a mere 16 years old when I first met him and bonded to him and I wasn’t much older whenever we married. And since I have depended on him the entire time, I’ve never known any other life other than the one I have lived with him. It’s hard to explain how that feels. For a man, it wouldn’t be the same, but for a woman, it changes everything. I’m very soft and delicate because he’s taken care of me (but don’t think that makes me weak, because I’m anything but it). Yes, I cry. No, I’m not a child, but neither am I a man. I have emotions and I express them, but he understands that. In fact, he says that’s one of the things he loves about me. The world we live in today wants to medicate away those emotions and call them unhealthy. Abusive men seek to employ psychological techniques to try to silence a woman’s emotions and “manage” them (which only causes the situation to get completely out of hand).

But that’s not love. That’s not bonding. That is annihilating the very feminine essence that makes a woman precious and unique. He understands me like no other. I can be a handful to manage at times, but he just holds me when I cry until I calm down. After a while I stop crying because he’s calmed me and I just lean into his chest and bond to him all the more. And that bonding is also a highly a sexual bond. If I don’t desire him, then I’m not feeling bonded to him.

In the world we live in today, sex is promoted as a casual and androgynous thing, and if you, as a woman, cannot reach orgasm, then it is obviously because you don’t know enough about your body, aren’t “empowered” enough and aren’t expressing yourself enough and being vocal about your needs, etc.. etc… but I fail to see the wisdom in this mainstream bullshit- and so should you.

I’m not ashamed to cry. I’m not ashamed to want bonding and love. Last night I reached for him, desiring him, because I wanted to feel secure and loved in his arms. He didn’t have to abuse me or hurt me to make me desire or want him. In fact, it has always been quite the opposite. Yes, it’s a personal thing for sure, but I have said before that I’ve never had a problem orgasming. I’ve also said before that I don’t masturbate, I don’t engage in stupid games and role play. I don’t get all “kinky” or anything. I don’t like that stuff. It strips away, in my mind, what the real and true meaning of sex and the purpose of it is. And if you think for one moment that it’s boring or anything of the sort then you’re wrong.

I try to explain what goes on in my head, though it’s kind of hard sometimes. In my mind it’s so sweet. I was given to him when I was so young and I depended on him to protect me, provide for me and lead me. And even now, I’ve never truly known anything else. I refuse to believe that I’m some freak of nature just because I can have an orgasm! It’s funny how in the modern world women are so empowered and are supposed to be sexually liberated but most have never even had an orgasm during sex and then you see articles and talk about how maybe it’s not even natural to have one!

But it seems so natural inside. I’m just simply expressing and feeling what is feminine so deep inside of me. And the truth of the matter is that the most feminine women are emotional, don’t make any sense, and are largely dependent on a man to take care of them. That is just a fact of life. Like I’ve also said before, the thought of paid employment has always weighed heavily on my heart because it would strip away my dependence on him. It would separate me from him. It changes the game entirely and that’s why I’ve always had a problem with it. But I am by no means lazy. I work hard every day. I’m up before the sun every morning, yet I’m still feminine. I’m still dependent.

I have no obligations outside of the home, then I just submit myself to my husband and rely on him. Sex is good and beautiful and part of what makes it so is because I’ve been with him- and only him- since I was so young. I don’t like girl power positions or anything like that. I lay down and let him admire my body. It’s OK to let him inside because I know I’m safe. He gives me everything I need and it’s easy to relax in sex. It’s a psychological thing as well as an overwhelming physical thing. It’s only best when it completely overwhelms me. I can feel him so deep inside of me, and that’s what’s precious about it. It’s precious because my sexuality is precious. It’s pure and sweet and there’s nothing degrading about it. I tell him that I feel bonded to him and feeling his strength and feeling him cover me is part of what makes it relaxing, when I feel safe.

I couldn’t ever see how I could feel the same being an independent, empowered woman. I’ve never known *how* I orgasm. I just do. I just feel that I’m a woman. It’s easy to open up to the same man you’ve been with since you were young and let him inside. It’s easy to share yourself that way. I’ve seen some red-pill types try to say that it’s impossible to keep being attracted to someone in a monogamous relationship, or that only “alpha” bad-boys can make a woman “wet.” I have to wonder what planet they are living on if that’s the way they live their lives. Even more than a decade on I’m still having sex with him, still desiring him.

When traditional gender roles come into play and the man is the leader/provider/protector a woman’s husband will always also be her lover (assuming she actually does love him). She will still desire him even when he lets his guard down and acts natural. Like I love my husband for who he is, so long as he’s being the man I need him to be. If he ever started trying to employ “game” on me or anything like that it would hurt me real bad. I’d pull away from him and not trust him. I’ve said before that the fact that I depended on him created an atmosphere of passion and love where I’d always long for him- and I did. We have always been best friends, companions, lovers. I’ve cared for him in his weak moments and laughed at his dorky ones. That’s the way it’s meant to be and I feel sorry for men out there who believe that the only options in life they have to keep a woman attracted is to either be the “alpha” who keeps a harem or to constantly go from woman to woman living the single life and never settling down. I also feel sorry for women who have to play games and let men treat them badly in order to be attracted to a man.

It doesn’t have to be that way. You can be deeply fulfilled and have passion beyond your wildest dreams. It’s Ok for him to lavish gifts on me because I belong to him and he provides for me. I know he thinks I’m beautiful and that doesn’t turn me off. There’s a big difference between some “beta” chump who goes around following a woman with puppy dog eyes lavishing gifts on her in the hopes that maybe- just maybe!- he might get a yes one day and a man that lavishes gifts on a woman because she belongs to him. I remember my own husband, when talking about something, making it clear that I belong to him when we were talking about him providing for me and everything.

And I will write more in the future. I just want to try to make a few pieces to share with younger women (especially I’m trying to aim for the girls in their teenage years especially to prepare them and help them) showing them a better way and life to live. You don’t have to start having kids right away (or have any at all), but bonding and allowing yourself to be given over to a man (hopefully one close to your age, even better if you grew up with him or went to school with him, so you can grow together) to take care of you in your youthful years can give you lasting bonding/passion and a stable life that will last for decades.

To keep this post from becoming any lengthier, I’ll write more in the future to try to delve deeper into the issues of sex, bonding, femininity, etc… But for the young girls out there, don’t start having sex with multiple men and babies with more than one guy, whatever path you choose in life. It’s OK to pursue a passion or dream that you feel called inside to pursue but if you pursue college education, career and independence just simply because that’s what society has told you to do or those around you like your family are pushing and pressuring you to do so, then you may never know the truth depth of femininity and bonding with a man that comes from relying on him.

 

Other Reading:

 

Why Women Shouldn’t Work

 

Mom for President

 

http://athriftyhomemaker.blogspot.com/2016/07/the-war-on-femininity-part-2-female-role.html

 

https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2015/12/31/always-listen-to-your-wife/