Category Archives: Patriarchy

A Woman Needs A Man’s Masculinity/ Random Rant

But you don’t understand these things that my soul longs for and needs on the inside. I could pull a million creative ideas out of my head, but I could never pull this sorrow from my heart…

I could write a million poems and novels that tell you of my heart, that tell you of my frustrations and my pain, but it will never cure me…

If you listen to those MRA types they’ll tell you that us women don’t want love and affection, yet we do.

I know what I need within my heart, to depend on a man to care of me. It doesn’t make me some gold-digger. It’s all in the motives. It’s only when I stop relying on him and stopping wanting him to provide for me that he should know something is wrong.

When I want and insist on doing for myself then he should know something is wrong.

When we walk down the street, and I don’t feel the need to hold onto him the way I used to; when my hands stay in my pockets instead of clutching onto his arm, then I’m not bonded to him anymore; I don’t need or want or even feel him anymore.

Providing for a woman doesn’t make a man weak, instead it is just the opposite. For years and years I looked up to my own husband, like he was everything. I never made my own money, I never cared for any life at all outside of my family. The fact that he provided for me meant that I needed him, and also that he held a power over me, which is something I always needed and wanted to feel. Do him wrong? “Divorce Rape?” I’ve never been powerful enough to do that even if I wanted to. And how could I take the kids if I’m depending on him just the same as they are???

I was very tame in my memoir, mostly because those in it are still alive. But I know my mother looked at me like I had some mental disorder because I don’t have some career, my grandmother’s always like “YOU DON’T NEED A MAN LIKE OMG! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”. My stepdad thinks the worst thing a man could do is to try and control a woman and thinks women should be INDEPENDENT and how dare them think a man should take care of them or support them (like, why would I want to support you, bitch?), yet he ends up with gold diggers bitches whores lovely feminine women like my own mother and his ex-wife who would screw him over with divorce rape and child support in a heartbeat, when traditionalist women don’t do those things, mostly because we CAN’T and we don’t believe in those kinds of things anyway. We’re the ones who believe in things like patriarchy and father custody (which is a part of patriarchy, a huge part of it) because we believe our men should be providing for our needs and taking care of us, because we don’t want to be independent women who do for ourselves and fight on the frontlines alongside the men. We want to be taken care of. We’re softer and less take-charge, though I’ve said it a million times, we are NOT DOORMATS.

But I say this- Direct that power in a way that protects me, that honors me, that cherishes me for now and always.

No, I don’t like it if he’s weak. It seems to do something to me inside- it seems to hurt my heart, because a weak man can’t give to a woman what she needs. Not that he can’t be weak at times. I’ve cared for him when he’s been injured, when he’s been down, the same as he has for me. A man can’t go around pretending there’s times when he’s not vulnerable, because that’s not reality, and we can connect the deepest sometimes when we are at our most vulnerable, because you trust that other person with all your heart and soul, with everything that you have and everything that you are.

You know, when I first heard a few years back that only like 20% of women actually orgasm through intercourse alone I thought it was a JOKE, but apparently it’s not. I was like, “Huh? I didn’t know there was any other way..?”

I guess I could tell the world that I could never have it any other way except for the way it’s meant to be naturally (Vibrators? What the hell are those, anyway?), and I can do that because I feel something inside, something feminine. While some women can’t get off once, I’m capable of it multiple times. Oops, yeah, you read that right. Us traditionalist girls do have a naughty side to us, too.

I think part of that is because as a woman I feel something so much more deeper sexually, with that capability to carry life inside of me (even if I don’t want to have more kids, just knowing I have that ability as a female) and to be able to take a man inside of me, gives sex a much more deeper meaning. It’s hard to explain, and I do honestly believe that I can feel and experience much more sexually than what a man ever could, that that is one way in which I, as a female, am superior in some way, but he’s superior in other ways and I love to admire that superiority, just the way that I’m sure that any masculine man who loves women admires those sexual parts of being female in which we are superior, like the ability to bring life into the world- something that men can’t do.

I want a man to be masculine, to be stronger, superior, etc… because something inside of me needs to depend upon him. I feel unhappy and a bit displaced otherwise, like nothing in life suddenly makes sense anymore. It’s kind of depressing, like I could look at him and say, “What’s wrong with you?? Don’t you get it?? Hello???” No, I don’t want you to treat me wrong or do me wrong, but I need you to grab me and tell me what I should be doing, or tell me that everything’s alright, because it’s not. It’s not alright.

Masculinity shouldn’t equate to being a huge jerk who has no honor. As I said, needing to feel a man’s masculinity as a woman means I need to depend on him, and you can’t depend on a huge jerk who you can’t trust who goes around playing women to get them in bed. No woman wants that, not truly. It’s not what she feels deep within her heart.

It’s when I’m trying to do for myself, that he’ll know I’m trying to distance myself from him, but I don’t want it that way. The masculine and the feminine are meant to go together, as one. We were made for each other and the feminists, masculinists MHRM, MRM, MRAs, MGTOWS, and on and on and INSERT RANDOM NAME HERE FOR THE NEXT GROUP OF LOSERS WHO PROBABLY NEVER GET LAID WHO CLAIM TO WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH MODERN WESTERN WOMEN  can’t change the fact that men and women still need each other and actually WANT to be with each other.

Rather be Oppressed 

Over the past weekend my husband and I went to town. I began to grow saddened again when we went into stores and I saw all of the women at work. Most of them were not very good looking women either, might I add. I just remember thinking how fortunate I was to marry young and follow all of my feminine instincts to just stay home.

Even still the thought of being independent makes me sick. I just held onto him the entire way home, wanting him to lead me and take care of me. I let him make love to me, and I clung to him and it felt so good, wonderful and right.

There’s a lot of people, including my own relatives, who hate me for who I am and for what I believe. I’ve been pushed non-stop to be the independent woman that relies on nobody but herself. But that’s just not me. I’d rather be “oppressed.” I’d rather be open and loving towards a man. I’d rather be controlled and under the authority of a man that I love and trust. I think we women are vastly unhappy when we are given too much freedom.

There’s nothing unhealthy about feeling a real and deep need to depend on a man. I believe that’s how we women are made to feel. It only seems to me that women become the most psychologically unhealthy when we stray from the protection and authority of our men.

Sitting here writing this, I’m actually in pain right now. I’m not in pain because there’s something wrong with me. On the contrary, I’m in pain because I’m a female and I’m healthy. I’m fairly weak right now simply because of the design of my biology.

I have the option of medicating myself, getting up and forgetting about this female side of me. I could make a few jokes about it, perhaps even some crude ones, and go to work and be Miss Independent- plenty of women do that. But I don’t really want to do that. I’d rather just lie down and rest and enjoy being female; enjoy being weaker and more vulnerable. Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s a bit painful and messy even, but it’s who I am and how I’m made. I’m not supposed to be a man or strong in the same ways as a man. My strength is in my femininity.

It’s ingrained in men to want to take care of women, but the modern woman’s attitudes and behaviors are causing men everywhere to have a “Screw the b****” attitude.

Can you look at the man you love, or the man you think you could one day love, and tell him you are open to him? Can you tell him that you would trust and follow him and live under his authority? Some men don’t want or can’t handle that- and that’s fine. Let them pair off with the feminist women they deserve.

I don’t really believe men only want sex. Men can get sex if they want it. Men can pay for sex. I think most men just want their women to be open to them and trusting of them. They want to be acknowledged as men.

I’ve dealt with the criticism of others but it doesn’t matter. I’ve dealt with men that hate housewives and independent women trying to push me to be like them. I’m different from others and I always have been. That’s what makes me who I am and that’s why you’re reading this article right now.

I would rather be oppressed than liberated. Everyone else lives hectic lives and their families are all torn apart. Why would I want to be like them? Perhaps they just want to bring me and others like me down to their level. Perhaps they want us to fail.

Patriarchy isn’t always perfect or even fun, but it’s the best option for families and ultimately for women too. That’s why women, such as myself, have always fought for it. Plain and simple, we don’t want to leave the protection of coverture or be away from the guidance of our men. That’s why we always come running back while everyone else just shakes their heads thinking there’s something wrong with us. We don’t want to be liberated or really care about women’s “rights.” In the end, we’d rather be oppressed.

What We Give Up 


Recently I separated from my husband for a while to move in with my relatives. In the interest of doing what I felt best for my daughter, however, I came back- if only temporarily. I also came back because I was still unsure and frightened of what I would do if I stayed gone and as of yet had no way to really survive on my own and live the life I was accustomed to. My husband had promised me that he’d take care of me and not let anything happen to me if I did come back. I know I cried when we got closer to home. I couldn’t even drive. I didn’t want to come back and face the same circumstances and abuse I had endured, but for the moment I simply didn’t know what else I could do. I told him I’d give him a set amount of time to change our circumstances the way he promised to do or else I’d be forced to leave again. I still might leave again to move in with my relatives if I found some way to survive, at least until he changes our circumstances (instead of waiting around in a bad environment while he does so). We’ve changed our schedules and made other arrangements for our child. It helps that she’s a lot older as well.

It’s a scary thing though leaving the only life you’ve ever known, but sometimes circumstances make it impossible to stay. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love those we leave. For instance, you may love a family member of yours, but, due to their wrongful behavior be forced to show them the door to protect yourself, your assets, or others that you love. It also doesn’t mean that reconciliation could never be possible in the future. Sometimes relationships actually get better after a period of separation.

I thought about what my life would be like. I know my mother keeps saying “You’re X years old!!” What she really means is, “why haven’t you done something with your life” and “you should have a good college degree and career by now.” But what she doesn’t understand are my old-fashioned beliefs. Maybe when I’m middle-aged and the kid is grown and my fertility is waning, etc., I might start some career or something to pass the time and gain some “fulfillment” in my life. But I know that I chose the life of staying home, of living under the constraints of traditional patriarchy, in exchange for the benefits it offered me. It’s made me softer, more docile, more feminine, and happier in many ways. It’s given a stability to my life and to the life of our daughter and brought wealth and prosperity. But I know there are many things I’ve given up. You exchange one kind of freedom for another, one kind of “slavery” for another. Nothing truly comes for free in this life. Do I want to work under fluorescent lights every day in exchange for being able to walk away and easily do my own thing? To be more stressed and deal with the harshness of the outside world? If it comes down to it, of course, I might have to. If the benefits of leaving outweigh the risks of staying, I might even choose to. If I had that career it would be so easy to do. Saying goodbye becomes easier. I could grab my things and get an apartment on the other side of town, find someone new, go out whenever I wanted to, etc… I could become just like the modern woman, but it’s something that just makes me sick inside though. I never wanted to be like the modern woman.

There is a frustration to being dependent on a man and sometimes a whole lot of mental pain involved. It is harder to get away from abuse and bad circumstances, it’s true. I chose to be pampered and cared for and looked after. I chose to look after the home, maintain a nice figure, take care of the child and look pretty in exchange for being rendered more helpless. Less stress means a smaller, more feminine waistline, beautiful long hair (that’s had to grow back out some after enduring some previous breakage and damage), more demure childlike ways and an innocence of heart and soul. It makes for femininity, it makes for complementariansim.

Contrary to what we are often told this isn’t anything new. We’re always told that women never had any rights, etc., etc., but the reality is that women have long had grounds to separate from their husbands, even since medieval times, and it was never uncommon for women in the past to separate from their husbands to either be with another man or to move back in with their family. In the past a woman would be able to be supported by male family members or a new husband if she was unmarried or left her husband, as well as her ex-husband being required to provide some support as well in most cases. Looking back to the 20th century, a lot of married women even had degrees or would work after divorce too. There have long been risks to financial dependency, and the issue of “what if something happens to your husband” is not a new issue by any means and has been discussed many times. But who’s to say that career wouldn’t fail me in the future and leave me just as hopeless wondering what to do? I could build up a career and have a nice degree only to be left jobless a decade from now. I feel as well it would limit my options in men, as most career women and independent women have a lot of problems having meaningful relationships with men. Men may say they want an independent woman and women may say they want a man who treats them as an equal and on and on, but life doesn’t always work out so smoothly that way.

Emotional pain is just as real as physical, and oftentimes brings with it physical symptoms as well. For the housewife it isn’t just about it being a “problem that has no name.” Sometimes people get restless, but sometimes the issues are greater. As women we are different than men, and our needs are different. I don’t know that it ever gets easier. I live a life of being cared for and not having to worry about anything. Sometimes we make the choice to live with a certain amount of pain and discontentment, and sometimes we choose to leave. Leaving means the loss of security and the life we are accustomed to, staying means enduring the discontentment and pain. Is this our only lot in life or are humans just not meant to live this way? It’s what we give up for modernity, for tradition, for stability, for comfort, for financial support, for protection. Patriarchy oftentimes means restraint and the forfeiting of certain rights in exchange for a different set of rights and in return for the numerous benefits and protections that it offers. But it is not a perfect system and human relationships do not always run smoothly. These are the choices we make in life, these are the sacrifices we make.

I asked my mother what I would do next and her response was to finish college, get a job and just “live my life.” I just curled up and cried as it sounded like a fate worse than death.  

Could MRAism Ever be OK?

Generally I have always been opposed to MRAs. The reason is simple; most MRAs I’ve ever seen have been about nothing more than woman-bashing and denying male responsibility. Worse, there are many who want men to have patriarchal authority but none of the patriarchal responsibilities- the biggest thing being that they want control over women and children without the responsibility to provide for and protect women and children. Many advocate for a society with women being submissive and feminine and husbands and fathers being in control of children and women’s reproduction yet where wives and mothers, as well as women in general, are required to work and support themselves as well as their offspring.

That to me has always been an unsaleable proposition. As the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” I hate feminism, EVERY single wave of it, and am against the whole “gender equality” dogma but when it comes down to it I would rather give my support to the feminists than pro-equality MRAs who want to have their cake and eat it too.

However, times change and so do social movements. Just look at the different “waves” of feminism. Therefore could it ever be possible for me to be accepting of MRAs? Could it be possible that it could ever be a movement I would accept?

There is a new post by Jesse Powell over at Secular Patriarchy. In the post, titled “Rethinking the Manosphere and MRAs,” Powell argues that maybe MRAs might turn out to be pro-patriarchy in the end after all; that instead of being 4th-wave feminists it might be, in actuality, the beginning of several social movements and ideologies to re-establish patriarchy- true patriarchy- in society.

The thing I find most interesting about it all is that the primary driving force for MGTOWS and MRAs accepting patriarchal values and traditional male responsibilities seems to be sex and romantic involvement with women. The psychological theory is that men do everything they do for sex. After all men will create and build up civilization to get sex (if that’s what it takes) or they’ll become parasites living off their girlfriends if that’s all it takes. It’s kind of interesting that even the most hard-core embittered MGTOW will apparently even step up and embrace true patriarchal responsibility for women if it’ll finally get him laid.

That being said I don’t think I could ever support the movement unless it got a different name. Also, it is still only a minority who are embracing traditional manhood and gender roles. MRAs have many good points but their reasoning is flawed and everything always turns into “I’m a victim of this, that and the other.” Their “movement” to me is more like a religion where one has to believe in certain basic tenents of victimhood regardless of whether or not there is any evidence to support it.

To me whining and complaining about how victimized one is is completely pointless. What matters is finding any injustices and working to change things for the better not sitting around with a “poor me” attitude and whining about how you hate the opposite sex and the entire world along with them. I truly hope Mr. Powell is right in his observations about MRAs but at this point it is simply too early to lend support to such an ideology as “men’s rights” or any associated movement. If the time comes where the movement as a whole has gender roles and traditional patriarchal values as its first and foremost goal then I will get behind it. But things are crazy right now in society and their movement is very schizophrenic.

That being said I’ve linked to a few MRA articles in my day and I’ve talked to a couple of others who believe there is a split coming soon in the movement. I truly hope that is so. Until then, I will still shy away from MRAs because I see them ultimately as abusers of women who have no love nor compassion for women. I still see them as, ultimately, men who wish to take advantage of women and exploit women especially where they are most vulnerable. I see them as putting the women down who don’t want to have to go out and work and because they want to be taken care of by a man and care for their own children. I still see them as the men who complain about women and don’t want to take care of women. I still see them as abusive, exploitative and selfish. I still see them as men like my father, who talk highly of the old days of patriarchy and where the father was head of household but then want to turn around like “you owe me support, bitch” and have a constant run of girlfriends who they wish to control yet the women all are financially independent and work everyday. That is still how I think of MRAs. And maybe it’s that they don’t understand how things should be or what to do about the current mess. I know I always felt something was wrong but never knew exactly what or how things could be different or how to make it better before I discovered the truth of history and men’s duties in patriarchal society that feminism did away with (and that the MSM goes to extraordinary lengths to cover up).

But I would like to believe it could change and that maybe out of all the destruction a movement will arise with men taking charge again and accepting responsibility to be the guardians, providers and protectors of women and children.

Even if a Man Must Beg, Borrow or Steal

I find it ridiculous how the economy is constantly used to justify wives going out to work. I think of it like this: you wouldn’t send your children out to work no matter how bad off you were financially, would you? Of course not because they are dependent and it’s your job to support them (primarily, of course, the father’s job). You decided to have them and no matter what they are your responsibility. So how then is it justified for a man to send his wife to work just because things are bad financially? It should be his job to provide financially for his wife, whether he has to beg, borrow or steal. It’s his responsibility to do whatever it takes to make it. Just the same as he’d do whatever to make sure the children were fed and clothed and had a home to live in, so it should be with his wife. He’s married her and she should be his responsibility. Just as with the kids, if you can’t support and raise them then don’t have them. If a man can’t provide for a wife, then he shouldn’t get married.