Category Archives: Patriarchy

The Sanctity of Marriage

As is always the way with me, I’m a thinker, a doer. Lately it has been on my mind to write a few things. Many aspects in life and including the comments I’ve received here have led me to think about these things. First off, I just want to say that it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about the way you choose to live your life whenever you choose to live in a traditional way. I don’t have anyone I’m trying to please and the opinions even of my own relatives are unimportant to me. What they think about my lifestyle doesn’t matter.

Recently I had to send a formal letter to my own mother telling her that I wished no further contact with neither her nor any of my relatives. They were interfering in my life and it concerned me. It was getting completely out of hand. They would rather see my marriage ruined, they would rather see me finish college and live the life they want for me to be living[i].

But the thing is that none of that matters to me. And I’m writing and saying all of this because I know just how many young women out there are facing the same pressures from relatives[ii]. But like I told my own mother, I love her- I really do- I’ve always longed for a good relationship with her but I know that it’s just never going to happen. Ultimately, they are not what is of importance. They want me to live in a certain way but they won’t be the ones who ultimately pay the price for the life they believe I should be living- I will be.

Traditionally the law threw a cloak over marriage[iii][iv]. Even in religious beliefs, it is well established that a man and women leave the sphere of their relatives and join together. From then on out they are one and all others take second stage (or in some cases, such as is often the case with friends and acquaintances, cease to matter altogether). Only in matriarchal or tribal societies does marriage not take on such importance[v]. In these kinds of societies, even the raising of children becomes some community matter and there are no permanent and stable romantic relationships between men and women.

The existence and establishment of “gender equality” and “gay marriage” have lessened the importance and sacredness of marriage by obliterating separate rights and responsibilities between the sexes and stripping the true meaning from sex- but even here many jurisdictions still cloak marriage in various ways (such as exclusive rights to offspring within the marriage and immunity regarding testifying in criminal/civil cases). Where the last of these privileges fall by the wayside, it means that society no longer sees marriage as something worth preserving nor protecting.

This showcases what marriage traditionally meant to our society. Traditionally, the husband was head of the household. His wife and his children were his[vi]. The marriage was sacred and outsiders had no right to come in and interfere with the relationship of a man and his wife, or of parents and their legitimate offspring unless compelling circumstances necessitated the law’s interference. When you take away the foundations of the institution of marriage you also strip away all these protections.

Also keep in mind here that it doesn’t matter what the “majority” are supposedly thinking. Your average, ordinary citizen is largely ignorant of the law[vii] and the world around him (or her). Despite all our fancy technological gadgets, human beings are not any more or less ignorant than what we were thousands of years ago. Human nature doesn’t change and likewise humans tend to let emotion overwhelm them and get into a mob mentality where all common sense flies out the window. But that’s why your average, ordinary citizen doesn’t have the power to make laws or policies[viii].

It doesn’t matter what others say or do. Your best protection is to educate yourself (this can be done outside of formal settings) and marry a good man while you’re young. From there on out- no matter what the society might say right now as the society is not always right- your husband should be your everything. A young woman should start out by looking to her husband for everything. He should be your protection, your provision and your guidance that you look to. You will also hold great influence over him as well as many a man have accomplished great things when they had the guidance and support of a good and faithful woman by their side.

Relatives, in-laws, friends can all be nasty and vicious and tear apart marriages if they are allowed to. That’s why the marital relationship must be first in importance and why we need to get to the point in society once again where the husband is the head of house and responsible for his family and, absent compelling circumstances, rights are only established and defined within the state of marriage. In our world today, marriage is regarded as a mere piece of paper that is optional whenever men and women procreate with each other- but this has got to change.

The marriage protects your privacy, the marriage protects your well-being. Also realize your influence as a woman. I never felt that my mother or relatives had my best interests at heart, which is why I always rejected the things they wanted for me and I always left their side and their influence to bond with my husband. I knew that my protection was only going to be found in him. I knew that no one else could ever protect, love or understand me the same. Others will invade on your home, attempt to run your life and invade your personal sphere and privacy if they are allowed to. Marriage should block this from happening and traditionally it always did by clearing establishing rights and responsibilities that could not be obtained anywhere else[ix].

Under coverture, for instance, husband and wife were considered as one[x]. A wife could represent her husband or conduct business in his absence even if need be, as they were one. A man could take his wife, wherever he found her, and take her with him wherever he went, as he had a right to keep her by his side and nobody had a right to keep him from her (unless she had obtained a legal separation from him). This protected her, and this protected the husband as well. A wife had a right to the support and protection of her husband, as he was responsible for her[xi]. He had the obligation to support her, and this ensured her security when she left her family and had children. The idea is to leave one’s relatives and cling to one another, forsaking all others[xii]. Even where your children are concerned, teach them the sanctity of marriage as one day they will leave the home to form their own families.

When the law upholds traditional marriage, the door can be slammed in the face of outsiders and all others as what goes on inside the home is sacred, because the marital relationship is sacred. I know that my husband knows me better than anyone else, and being there under his wing keeps others from harming and harassing me. My privacy is assured, my security is assured. This is important.

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[i] This is what life looks like when following the feminist plan, check out my earlier article where I discussed my thoughts regarding this: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/why-young-women-shouldnt-listen-to-their-mothers-generation/

[ii] One recent comment (though there have been many just the same) on one of my recent postings showcases the pressures many women get, being forced into feminist lifestyles which they do not want on account of pressure from relatives https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2017/11/30/listen-to-me-victimology-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-1133

[iii] For another example of the law legally cloaking marriage and protecting children and families, see The United States Supreme Court case of Michael H. v. Gerald D., 491 U.S. 110 (1989)

[iv] There are numerous ways in which the law has done this, from spousal immunity to testifying in criminal trials, to disallowing paternity suits to children born within marriage, to protection in cases of disability and death, etc… Some states, such as California and New York, for instance, no longer regard marriage as a sacred institution, instead declaring that a child may even have as many as three legal parents in California, https://verdict.justia.com/2013/10/15/california-allows-children-two-legal-parents an unmarried father having the right to claim rights to a child being raise by a woman and her lawful husband, and New York, for instance, recognizes no protections regarding privileged communications even regarding those occurring within legal marriage before the marriage has broken down.

[v] The Mosuo, from China, for instance, are probably the last modern example of this kind of matriarchal family structure: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/01/the-kingdom-of-women-the-tibetan-tribe-where-a-man-is-never-the-boss https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/19/china-mosuo-tribe-matriarchy The Late Daniel Amneus also portrayed the matriarchal way in his infamous book “The Garbage Generation: On the Need for Patriarchy” which showcases that many historical societies had no concept of even the word “father” as is the custom in patriarchal societies.

[vi] See my previous article https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/the-wrongs-of-the-mens-movement/ for more info on a father’s authority under coverture

[vii] Look at this poll, for instance, as reported in an article on CNN https://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/poll-constitution/index.html which states that more than 1/3 of individuals surveyed couldn’t name a single right protected by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, only ¼ could name all three branches of government, and 1/3 couldn’t name any branch of government.

[viii] The framers of the Constitution intentionally feared a direct democracy, as well as too strong of a central government (even though they realized a stronger centralized government was necessary as the Articles of Confederation were weak and thus had to be repealed, and ultimately replaced, with the new Constitution that called for a Republic form of government where people elect representatives but do not directly make the laws and policies), and feared putting important matters in the hands of the common people http://www.americantraditions.org/Articles/Why%20Our%20Founders%20Feared%20a%20Democracy.htm

[ix] The old protections of marriage are numerous and plentiful. Check out some of my earlier articles on illegitimacy, for instance, for more references to ways in which this is so: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/tag/illegitimacy/

[x] See, for instance, William Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England https://www.thoughtco.com/blackstone-commentaries-profile-3525208 ; http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/blackstone-commentaries-on-the-laws-of-england-in-four-books-vol-1 As American law is derivative of the common law of England, which was adopted by the colonists and still, to this day, remain our laws unless otherwise changed.

[xi] Consider the old English common-law “Doctrine of Necessaries” https://definitions.uslegal.com/d/doctrine-of-necessaries/

[xii] Though still treading the bounds of political correctness, consider this article which cites Biblical references about forsaking all others within marriage: Protecting Marriage from Outside Intruders: http://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kreitz/christian/Boundaries/09intruders.pdf

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Listen to Me/Victimology Part II

I’ve been a bit ill as of late and have honestly been quite apathetic in regards to my writings and other activities I normally take delight in doing. But anyone who knows me knows I’m not the type to just sit around feeling sorry for myself. The worse I feel, the more inclined I am to get up and move around more and get even more work done. Today I continued on with more deep cleaning that I have been doing for quite a while now. When I was done I had the house deep cleaned to perfection, with windows/windowsills, floors, refrigerator, bathrooms, and living room sparkling to perfection. Afterwards, I changed and cleaned up and lit a scented candle and opened up the main window in the living room, letting the fresh sunlight pour into the house. I then sat there and looked out the window, and looked around at the home that I’ve made and kept up.

It was then that I knew in my heart, that if the only thing I ever accomplished in life was this- the making of a home and family and finding stable love- that I had done well. Despite all, I had this peace in my heart when I took in the stillness and beauty of my own home, a home and stable life created when I was so young. Inside of me, as it always does, I then started having the stirrings in my heart to write again. I wanted to say what I have just said here, that I may not have some fancy Master’s Degree, I may not have some glamorous job or paid employment of any kind. I don’t bring home a paycheck, but I know I’ve done more good in this simple stable life I’ve created in a patriarchal marriage than what I could have ever probably done as a modern woman with career and independence in an “equal” relationship.

This point was drove home to me whenever my husband came home late this evening and I was encouraged all the more that I had something in my heart to write about. I never cared what he was out doing, because I knew he was committed to me, but I was kind of curious. The reason he was late was unexpected: Fox News had asked him for a brief interview for his “opinion” on some local going-ons (he turned them down, btw). Nothing too exciting, just the usual stuff- unwed motherhood, perpetual adolescence, illicit drugs and infant neglect. This is such a common problem in society that it’s not even shocking. In fact, it’s become the norm.

Going into the Victim and Women’s Rights Movement, it’s easy to see the bureaucracies that have been set up all around the country: child support, rape crisis, domestic violence crisis, counseling centers, etc… These are all attempts to overthrow the patriarchy and outlaw the policing, regulating, stigmatizing, and legislating of women’s sexuality.

But society has traditionally regulated women’s sexuality and imposed various forms of male guardianship on women- and there’s a reason for this. Just like the latest fad diet cannot replace the age-old tried-and-true reality of the laws of thermodynamics, neither can victim and feminist legislation replace the tried and true model of patriarchy. I am unaware, even dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, of any society leaving an actual written history or legacy or achieving of any scientific and social advancements that did not have political and family structures that were patriarchal (it’s worth noting that women still had great status though even in these ancient societies, btw and could still own property and engage in business if they so desired).

If you are a young girl in her teenage years or woman in her early 20s then you need to listen to this. (I signal out this age group because these are the formative years, and also the age group Pick-Up-Artists target due to these young women’s lack of life experience and knowledge of men). I know what our laws state. I know what these organizations do and I know that this is not the kind of life that you want to go down.

Let’s say you are a 16-year-old girl. Do you ever feel the stirrings inside of you to be with a young and handsome man and have babies? Do you dream of love and romance? Even when society tells you college and career first? I know I did- and that’s OK. It’s perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you feel this instinct then don’t deny it. That’s how you’re made and it’s a beautiful thing- but it must be done the right way.

You can close the doors, and, without shame whenever you’re all alone, truly marvel in the preciousness that is your body; the preciousness in the way you are made as a female. It’s very distinct from the way a male is made. It’s OK to be made weaker. It’s OK to be more vulnerable and emotional. It’s OK to sometimes have fear or a sense of wonderment at the uniquely female aspects of life (menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, etc…) And trust me when I say this, men do like it. Men aren’t looking down at you for these distinctly female things (most marvel over it, actually). Men still obsess over women, women’s sexuality, the female form, femininity. If they could truly “go their own way” they wouldn’t be devoting hours upon hours to talking about and obsessing about women non-stop. And also trust that men aren’t going to judge you or think you’re honestly worth less because you’re weaker or have less career achievements. Guys like your femininity. Strong men love it and they also love that you love it. Love the things that define you as distinctly different from a man.

But know that, no matter what society tells you or what promises are made to you, only share your body with your husband. And I think it’s good to devote time to looking for a husband first. Despite the modern world, you can find a good husband if you want one. And there’s something precious too about marrying a man from your youth, perhaps your “high-school sweetheart” or a guy your age you grew up with or hung around from your area. Marriage at a very young age, even in your late teenage years, will protect you and guard your sexuality throughout these formative years and as you age more into maturity, you will have preserved your femininity and can look in delight with peace at the years gone by. A lot of the old pressures for women to marry young was more than likely to protect them and guard their sexuality in all likelihood.

And trust me, it will be good. Better than what you could ever imagine. And if you doubt what I’m saying, then look into the laws the women’s movement changed. Look into what these organizations and advocacy groups are really all about. Take a critical look at the world around you and then ask yourself if that’s something you want to get caught up in, if that’s the life you want to live. The first and foremost thing for a young woman is to not share her body with any man other than her husband and, second, not to have illegitimate children. There can be no exceptions to this.

This is the reality, that a woman would be better off having her sexuality policed. I don’t know one unwed mother that doesn’t regret putting the father’s name on the birth certificate and pursuing child-support. I don’t know one young woman who’s been caught up in such drama regarding promiscuity and illegitimate children that probably doesn’t wish, deep down inside, that a male relative would have just slapped her across the face rather than having been caught up in the system or have a slew of sexual encounters with men who wanted nothing more than sex with her. And that’s what it is, advocacy for victims and abused women and unwed mothers belongs somewhere else other than the government agencies. You’re just a case number to them, nothing more. Trust me when I say that these organizations will re-victimize the already victimized and nothing more.

What should an unwed mother do? Find a husband. It should also be enforced upon husbands the responsibility to financially support their wives. Make no mistake- the financial support of wives is of paramount importance and has long been the defining point of patriarchy and there is a valid reason for why female financial dependence upon husbands or male relatives is so important.

Nature has placed infant children by default within the care of their mothers, but nature has made men physically and socially superior to women. If an unwed mother cannot marry the actually father, then it should be another man who will accept responsibility for her and the child. And his rights and responsibilities as the father (regardless of any biological relationship) should be enforced upon the marriage. Except in special circumstances as to be determined by a judge, unwed fathers (or even divorced ones for that matter) shouldn’t be liable for any kind of child support. That’s just another bureaucratic system set up by the women’s movement to destroy the stability of families and, just as with the other new victims’ laws, has done absolutely no good to anyone. It serves nothing more than to enable the wrong-doers and finger-pointers and perpetuate a cycle of victimization. Sure, the man might “go free” without responsibility but there are other areas in life where women do the same where men can’t. It just is what it is. Men and women cannot be made equal through coercive legislation.

Unwed mothers actually had more protections when social stigma outcast them and their children than they do today. Don’t believe that? Don’t believe any of this at all that I speak about? Seek for yourself whether what I’m saying is true or not- dig deep and think critically and rationally without letting emotion overwhelm you- then go and form your own conclusions.

Every time I hear of one more case of drama, of drugs, of a girl having a baby with a man she won’t stay with and then having another baby with a subsequent man, every drug case, every rape, every sexual harassment incident, I’m reminded that society has put women into positions that allow them to be victimized and that society has removed all controls and restraints on sexuality and appropriate family arrangements that would give children and young people the proper start in life.

I don’t really care if people hate me or love me, and neither should anyone else. People who are going to hate you don’t need a reason to do so, and oftentimes you will find that even if you give in and live the life they say you should be living (ie., finding paid employment) that they will still hate you. So let those who will hate you, hate you still. Let those who will love you, love you still.

I have been different than others all my life, but that’s OK. I’ve known no other life than a truly patriarchal one where I married young and never worked. But we are the only family that is still intact that I know of that hasn’t had a whole slew of problems that are commonplace in today’s post-feminist society. He’s still my first and only husband, only one to father my child. I’ve never brought up a child in an unstable environment with illegal drugs or any other problems that are so common.

The only way to know how much worth and value a woman has in the patriarchal system as a wife and mother is to take her out of that system- that’s when all Hell erupts and it becomes clear how much the women (women like myself who have become a rarity) society looked down upon as “childish parasites” were really worth and how much good she really did, a good she could never have done competing with men out in the world and having a career and independence- a good life that feminism and the pursuit of equality cannot compete with.

Previous Related Posts on this Topic:

Victimology
The Legitimacy Principle and the Good of Patriarchy
The Wrongs of the Men’s Movement

The Myth of the Non-Existent Traditional Man

Ok, there is one myth that I would like to put to rest right now, the myth that there are no traditional men out there. The truth of the matter is that nobody knows how many there are, just like nobody truly knows how many traditional women are out there either, but the fact is they do exist, and in much greater numbers than many seem to think. In fact, over the years I’ve noticed that there seem to be more traditional men (seem to be) than there are traditional women. In fact, I’ve known of more than one woman that ended up leaving her husband/boyfriend because he wanted her to stay home (actually this seems to be very common if you want to know the truth about it), so you see more than one reason and the pressures from society against traditional men that compel them to stay quiet about their beliefs and walk on eggshells and dare not approach the subject with their wives. But apart from the fact that there are traditional men, there are men as well who are the sole providers, or at least want to be.

But you’re not going to hear about these men out there and you certainly won’t be finding them whining on some MGTOW forum about how all women are evil and how much of victims they are. That’s because there’s no need for these men to cause a commotion, because they are not victims. They have their shit and their homes in order and they have absolutely no need to fear stuff like “divorce rape” or the things MRAs like to whine about non-stop. They don’t sit around fearing and being paranoid about women. They are the providers, they love and cherish their wives and give to them what they choose, and what they can afford to give. These men are strong and are usually admired by their wives, their wives desire them and they also usually have great sex lives (this from my own personal experience and the experiences I’ve heard from other women). They don’t have to whine about how their wives won’t give them sex, and it’s rare that their wives will actually go out and have an affair (they have too much to lose and are generally hard-to-get women in the first place anyway). They trust their wives, and those who are the sole providers know their wives won’t- can’t- just up and leave them without suffering greatly in the process. Even when their wives do leave, they usually come back to them. Most of these men’s marriages far outlast the marriages of others, and in the event they do get divorced there usually isn’t much (if any) fighting and the man generally gets things his way and doesn’t fight with or abuse his ex-wife.

These men don’t have anything to complain about, and in fact most that I’ve ever known or heard about do not like MRAs and believe them to be not only foolish, but manipulative and abusive. Some of these men actually have wives that get involved in this red-pill nonsense, until their wives find out all the red-pill is is a bunch of abuse tactics and is, in reality, far from traditional or Godly.

On the occasion you do hear about these men, some like to call them “alpha providers” or something of the sort, and most manosphere men think they are myths, and question if these men really exist. Well, they do. They are not a myth. Notice the number of homemaker blogs that have seemed to pop up everywhere over the last few years? Obviously these women have husbands that are their sole/primary providers. Who do you think supports these homemakers to enable them to be homemakers anyway? Their provider husbands.

But back to the main point, there are plenty of traditional men, or at least men who want to be traditional, but you just don’t usually hear about them. Do you think my husband gets on some MGTOW forums and whines and complains or writes mile-long articles about the supposed sorry state of affairs for men these days? Of course not. He actually laughs at these guys. On the outside, everyone knows he gives me the world and I mean everything to him, but what they also don’t see is what happens, or how he reacts, if there really is a threat to his authority. Yes, a few that have been really close to us over the years have caught mere glimpses of me actually submitting to him, but that’s about it. He doesn’t have to make it public that he’s in charge and, despite outside observances and expectations from society that the wife really has a tight grip on her husband’s *****, or has them in her purse, what’s happening inside the home and marital relationship of these men looks a lot different, you just aren’t going to see it, because these kinds of men don’t make a big scene about it, mostly because they don’t have to. There’s no need to. They also don’t have to play tricks or games either. There’s no need.

That’s not to say that I, or any other traditional woman, are powerless or have no rights. We do. We do have a voice and we always have, and a very important voice at that. Sometimes a wife has to demand her rights and that the husband step up to do what he’s supposed to do. Though I and a few of my other partners-in-crime have managed to land ourselves a place in the “Christian Doormathood” hall of fame (how the heck I ended up under that category, or who on earth is responsible for nominating me I’ll never know), the traditional wife is not a doormat. She has the right to be supported, cherished, loved, honored, respected and protected, and to demand such rights if the husband does not fulfill them. In the worst case scenario, she leaves, but all is not a field of daisies for her if she does. It might be Hell if she stays, but it’s only all the worse if she leaves.

A traditional wife that leaves her husband is usually left mostly destitute, dependent on the good graces of her relatives and trying to earn the most meager living imaginable. Her life after leaving her provider husband is usually something that closely resembles Hell and helplessness. In fact, many such women have returned to their husbands for that very reason, giving in to him and doing what he says. No, she doesn’t have much of a choice outside of being with him, and for that particular reason society hates male authority within marriage and pushes and encourages all wives and mothers into the workforce- so they don’t have to submit to male authority within families.

Does it look like such men are victims? No, they are not. That doesn’t mean all has ever been perfect. Sometimes a man screws up and allows his family to fall apart, when he’s not being that man he should be. The traditional man is only human and he doesn’t always acts or do as he should, and sometimes he royally screws up and lets things go, gives his power away to another (his wife or another man to take her affections away), but the point is that you don’t hear about traditional men or the “alpha provider” because they aren’t victimized, and instead of joining up with the manosphere, most scoff at them as a bunch of wusses, and rightly so.

Yes, families are in a bad way today, and not only are traditional families becoming rare but so are families that have managed to stay in-tact or form at all. But throughout history, where the man has the authority and provider responsibility within the family, he has never been a victim. If you give the husband responsibility without authority attached to it, then yeah you’re going to have a problem. That’s just asking to be taken advantage of and get taken to the cleaners whenever the wife decides to leave him (and if she’s independent and her own breadwinner she can). But you give him the appropriate authority to go along with the responsibility, and he’s secure to invest in a woman the way he sees fit. That’s the way it works best. For everyone- individual, family and society.

 

Recommended:

A Woman Needs a Man’s Masculinity/ Random Rant

 

There Are More Traditional Men Than Women Now, I Think!

They are Men’s Issues

There is no issue, there is no complex

As I told you before; I am feminine, I am female, I am woman

We uplift the masculine because it protects us. The women today they would rather degrade themselves and live in filth with men that don’t respect them- to give their bodies away easily as if it gives them autonomy or power in some way. They might find a temporary happiness in this existence, but they will never have true and lasting contentment.

Oh, but I could show you contentment! I could show you fulfillment. Fulfillment and contentment like you’ve never known, never seen.

The world today has become so vulgar because there is no regulation on sexuality; there are no rules. So many are gender-confused and androgynous and we express ourselves in however the individual sees fit. But we must uplift the feminine, uplift the masculine. Not all men are good, but not all men are bad. Look to the men that love you and put your trust in them. Encourage them to be the men they were designed to be, trust in them to speak for you, trust that God or nature has given them that natural authority. Obey that authority and listen to it.

It’s not necessarily that we put our trust in a human being that has faults, but rather a divine authority that has granted to males greater strength and ability. They were designed that way for a purpose. Yes, men might be superior, but isn’t that the way we want them to be? But a woman being under the protection and covering of a man, such as her husband, shows that she as well is favored and beloved and worthy of being given the world.

We were meant to live together as male and as female. We were made for each other. We were not made to be the equals of each other but rather to be as one. There is but one leader, and that is the man. There is but one that carries life and brings it into this world, sometimes suffering severe hardships in the process, and that is woman. And yes, we women are vulnerable when we depend upon a man, but by nature we were designed vulnerable. When we take a man inside of us we make ourselves vulnerable. We were designed to be dependent and weaker by nature.

But letting go, trusting, opening our hearts and our bodies and making ourselves vulnerable, we free ourselves. There is a passion that I cannot explain. It can only be understood by living it. Free yourself to be a woman, to be feminine. If we as women have an issue, the state cannot protect us. Women’s rights are no protection, instead it is about distrust in our men. But we have to trust them. Let them be who they are as men. If we do have problems, the first ones we should confide in are our men for protection or the things we need.

Domestic violence, rape, and single motherhood are things that feminists had no business getting involved in; that the state has no business getting involved in except in special circumstances. They are real and serious issues, but they are ultimately men’s issues as our sexuality and our welfare should be the business of our husbands, our fathers and our brothers.

This doesn’t take away our freedom. On the contrary, it grants to us women the greatest freedoms we have ever known. There is a joy and a peace that I cannot explain. But I know we women today have severe issues. Nearly every woman that I know has suffered some mental illness, even if only temporarily. We have rejected our true natures to pursue independence and shallow relationships with men, if we pursue relationships at all.

When I was younger, I stayed in the home to care for a child. It was work that needed to be done. But the first issue was my bonding with my husband. I lived under his protection, depending on him for the things I needed, listening to what he told me to do and trusting him to protect me. It created an atmosphere of passion and love, where I would wait for him to come home and deeply long for him. Being in the home allowed me to live as one with him.

Having the husband fulfill the breadwinner role was about us being one. It was never, and has never been, about being a “stay-at-home mother” as in some androgynous role that either sex could fulfill or that could be outsourced. It was about contentment and fulfillment that had nothing to do with housework or childcare. There is no “going back to work,” nor has this ever been an issue or in question. Being home is not some temporary thing that I did only because there was work to do in the home and then I would leave to pursue work elsewhere when it dwindled down in a couple of years.

Hate me, love me, but I am who I am. And yes, I have been rejected. But I have been rejected all my life. I care not whether they accept or love me. I can see myself standing there before him as we are to be wed. I can picture him as he lifts the veil from my face to gently kiss me. I can see him standing tall and strong over me. In my mind, how I see it, is that I’m giving myself over to him, to live under his authority, as he is giving himself to me, to cherish, love and be responsible for me. He covers me with his love and strength and I lovingly accept him. And yes, I know that it might come with pain and hardship at times. What life doesn’t? I know that I am vulnerable in depending upon him and submitting to him, but he is also vulnerable in investing in me. But we are one, made for different purposes in life, but each purpose works together towards a common destiny.

But what happens if something happens to him is irrelevant. A man who is in love with a woman and has committed himself to her is very unlikely to leave her, and we as women must trust overall in our men and in the divine authority that has made men our protectors and providers in the event that we are left alone. That is the way life goes sometimes, and we have no way of seeing into the future to know what might happen even when the sun rises the very next morning, but we must trust that a way will be provided for us always.

How is it degrading to be protect or provided for by a man? You women of today will reject any notion of patriarchy, coverture or genuine male authority from the men in your lives yet you will engage in games and role play literally begging for men to beat you, call you names and choke you until you’re blue in the face and do things that I can’t even fathom just in the hopes of feeling some temporary sexual pleasure.

Yet I need no games. I am not degraded. I feel that my body was made beautiful and precious and what a joy it brings. There is no sexual repression, but on the other hand overwhelming feelings of sexuality and sexual pleasure that make all other pleasures pale in comparison. Sexuality that is deep, that is real, flowing through my veins and defining me as female, distinct from any and all characteristics that are male.

Love is overwhelming, femininity is overwhelming. Love and passion are what makes life worth living, of what humans have spent centuries pursuing and writing about. I know who I am as a woman and I don’t need to compete with any man. I know he’s stronger. I know that, yes, he could hurt me. But when that masculine and feminine polarity is felt, I know inside that he won’t.

And the ways of our modern world oftentimes make me cry. I cry that no man will rise up to defend a woman. I cry at the horrific thought that any man would think it OK to see their women sent off to war or expect them to be, that men no longer cherish their women or think to provide for them or protect them; that women would reject any attempts by men to do so, or worse that any man would be OK with being provided for or led by a woman. It is a passion killer that leaves but a coldness and an emptiness inside.

My first instinct has always been to acknowledge a man as a man, to look up to and admire men in general. I am ever glad that in my life I have had very little workplace experience and that I have never been put in the position of being in authority over any man. It would not be right, and indeed, the concept of women’s rights is wrong on a fundamental level. The concept of female empowerment is not right, it is misguided.

We must uplift our men first. Our issues are men’s issues. It has always been men that have made the laws and policies to give us any protections, rights, or freedoms that we seek. I believe that we can trust them to speak on our behalf. I believe that men want to be acknowledged as men and for the things that are distinct to manhood and masculinity and that a man will love a woman who acknowledges him as such.

Because this is not right. It has become an issue of us vs. them. But there should be no separation between us. Was it not men who legislated that a man should pay for the crimes of harming or raping a woman? Was it not men that always went to war to keep us safe? Was it not men who legislated that a man should provide for his wife, his children? I have seen it with my own eyes how a man, even one hardened against women, will soften and become protective towards a traditional woman who embraces patriarchal and anti-feminist ways.

As women we must let go and trust in the masculine. We must be genuine, authentic and trusting in our femininity. If we do that, things will fall into place as they were designed and meant to be.

Going Home

I don’t need to justify to anyone the way I choose to live my life or the beliefs that I hold inside. I’ll just let the results of the life I have lived speak for themselves.

People say I’m “lucky” to stay at home or believe my husband must have money or something, but neither of these things are true. We were dirt poor before we married yet I quit working entirely, even though we didn’t yet even know where we would live, and never for a single day were we ever out on the streets. I’ve always lived with what he could give to me, or what he chose to give to me, and over time we were blessed as a result of it. I believe we have been productive precisely because I stayed out of the workforce, but more than that, I believe it is because of my traditional beliefs in coverture. (Even though I had no idea what coverture was, or that it was really a legal thing once, I still felt it in my heart.)

Me being at home isn’t so much about my relationship with my child as it is about my relationship with my husband. It’s not about being a “stay-at-home mom.” I’m not a stay-at-home mom, I’m just a traditional wife. And this will hold true even when our daughter is fully grown.

For the brief period of time that I worked, I had no relationship with him. As my readers know, that is precisely why I started working- because in my heart I was separated from him and no longer willing to submit to him. But I felt in my heart I would be OK, that it was time to reconcile. He told me that, while he wouldn’t necessarily forbid me from working a couple of days if I really wanted to, he would really rather that I just put in my notice and quit entirely, so that’s what I did, because I couldn’t reconcile the beliefs and desires of my heart with having paid employment- even part-time employment. Part-time employment is still employment.

At the beginning, so many years ago, I chose to accept him as my guardian, my authority, my provision and protection. It can be scary sometimes, to give up that independence you once knew and rely entirely on a husband, but I did it, and I will do it once again. He tells me he wants me to stay close to him and to do what he tells me to do. I accepted that at the beginning and I told him that I would accept it once again. He’s not a pig or a misogynist, nor is he weak or “beta.” He cherishes me the way men have all but forgotten to cherish women in our world today, and I look up to him the way women have all but stopped looking up to men.

“What’s there to cherish?” the modern man will say.

“What’s there to look up to?” the modern woman will say.

So, yes, I’m coming home. I know he’s always provided well for me. There were things in the past that he told me I couldn’t do, so I didn’t do them. There were things in the past he told me we couldn’t afford, so I couldn’t have them. But that was ok with me. It’s still ok with me. While I did like having some money to spend, a paycheck could simply never compensate for the loss of love and passion I experienced. If I am to submit to him and allow him to protect me and take care of me, I can’t also be my own independent woman out in the workforce. And I sure as Hell am not going to work and submit to him. What a joke.

I know some scoff at me, I know some think me a fool- but that’s their problem. I’m a lot safer and secure depending on a husband than being independent. It’s like people feel sorry for me if I tell them I’m going back to my husband and quitting my job. But that’s their problem. They can think what they want. The results of the life they live show, as do the results of the life I have lived. Shall we compare them?

So, I am going home once again. In my experience people do what is in their hearts to do. If a woman has it in her heart to be home and relying on a husband and submitting to him, then that’s what she’s going to do, even if she’s poor- the same as I was poor all those years ago. The same people who talk about two incomes being “necessary” are the same ones who talk about how they could never give up their independence, and the women who say they wish they could be at home are the same ones who turn around and start talking about how they could never just “sit at home” depending on a man and how they love to cash in those paychecks. You do the math. I believe modern women work because of ideology, not necessity.

But that doesn’t matter. I don’t care what it is people might think or say. They are of no concern to me. I accepted to follow him and do what he told me to do. The outside world doesn’t concern me. For the brief time that I worked everything turned into a disaster. The house was a wreck. There was all of a sudden nobody there for the small errands that needed to be run, and entire schedules had to be re-arranged when our daughter wasn’t in school, was sick, or when my husband had doctor’s appointments and needed someone to drive him.

Never again. I cannot see how anyone could live that way. If I had worked since the beginning we wouldn’t be together today, and it’s doubtful that me working would have even helped us financially- unless I had some fancy career, which would have only been even more problematic.

Lastly, I won’t defend the words I say to anyone. I’m not going to apologize or give a speech about how I’m not really anti-feminist or anything of the sort. Because I’m pro-patriarchy. I’m against feminism. There’s nothing great about feminism and there’s nothing wrong with patriarchy. I don’t have to defend my words and beliefs to the over-sensitive PC crowd. They’ll get over it and find something new to bitch about ten minutes later anyway. I don’t believe that as a wife I should be in the workforce, not even part-time. Even part-time work takes me away from his guardianship.

Because femininity is passive, submissive, graceful, nurturing and beautiful– and that just isn’t compatible with being independent and career-driven in my book. I always felt it was right to be under the guardianship of a man that loves and cherishes me and I know that what I’ve always felt in my heart cannot be wrong, especially considering that it has been the way of so many cultures, including our own for so long. Feminist politics can’t protect women.

But I leave all these things I have written up, because they show the truth of what is in a woman’s heart and how she is made. And I hope that young women everywhere will truly listen.