Why We Need Modesty

I’m really ready to see some more modesty make it’s way back into society. I’m tired of turning on the television and being blasted with feminine product ads and and advertisements with women displaying nude and swollen pregnant bellies. Every year it seems like bikinis get smaller and smaller. I’m tired of the “who’s my baby daddy,” divorce and teenage mom shows. I’m sick of loud mouthed and vulgar women who act like men. I’m tired of female body parts and half-nude women being plastered everywhere one looks. I’m sick of pregnancy and childbirth being openly talked about even among men.

There was a time not too long ago when it was considered obscene for Lucille Ball to be shown on TV late in her pregnancy or for the word “pregnant” to even be said on television and men being present at childbirth was almost unheard of. Not too long ago couples would have said “expecting” instead of pregnant, divorce was something that just didn’t happen, and if it did happen it was considered shameful and something that wasn’t talked about. The word “divorce” itself was considered a dirty four-letter word that just wasn’t said in polite society. Having children out of wedlock was unacceptable for both the father and mother. It was something you just didn’t do, and if pregnancy happened you got married right away and men were expected to provide. Not too long ago women’s fashions were more feminine and more modest and women took pride in their appearance and wanted to look the best for their husbands.

Now women are vulgar, divorce is considered a common good when two people just can’t make things work out. It’s rare for only women to be present at childbirth these days and even conservative women drag their boyfriends and husbands into “childbirth classes” (since when did women need classes for a natural bodily function anyways?) and force them to be present at birth or else the men are looked down upon for not loving their wives or being good fathers. Used to the husband (as well as anyone else who might be in the general area) would be kicked out to wait in the barn or be sent on some errand. But today everyone in general can’t even respect a woman’s body nor privacy and everyone wants to crowd around her with absolutely no respect (is it any wonder labor today lasts an average of hours longer than it did in the 1950s?). There is no mystery anymore nor modesty regarding women’s bodies. Today instead of men respecting women they instead are turned off most of the time because there is no mystery left. Instead of being in awe over what only a woman can do they instead often just say “so glad I’m not a girl, man.” A lot of men don’t even want sex with their wives anymore after watching them give birth and most couples these days divorce after a new baby is born. Take away modesty and male-female relationships are turned upside-down.

Now when it comes to clothing I haven’t always been the most modest. Even today I can be seen sporting a tiny Victoria’s Secret bikini on the beach at times (then usually cover myself more if others come closer). I’ve been known to wear mini skirts, Daisy Dukes and five inch heels before. I’m certainly not “holier than thou” when it comes to modesty. But I do like to cover up. I like my body to be all for my husband, something other men can’t have and can’t see. I believe women would have more respect if they covered their bodies more. Part of eroticism is mystery. When there is no mystery left most of the time men are not only turned off, but they are disgusted. Interestingly enough, I’ve talked to strippers before and have been told by many of these women that they don’t make any more money (in fact sometimes they make less) when they are completely nude than when they are only half nude. Sex is everywhere yet research keeps showing (if anyone can really have dependable statistics on such a thing anyways) that we are having less sex than in previous generations when women were more modest and sex was only acceptable in marriage. Part of this is because of working wives (keep your wives at home men, you’ll get more that way!), but I believe part of it is also because there is no mystery and women are less modest. Sex being readily available and female body parts being plastered everywhere devalues what a woman’s body is worth. The more something costs and the harder it is to get, the more valuable it will be. The cheaper and more readily available something is, the less desirable it will be. I know we’ve all heard this before, but I don’t believe the full effect of what this actually means is sinking in. Many pay lip service to modesty (just the same as they do the value of the housewife’s role) but that’s about as far as it goes.

The media mocks female sexuality and childbirth. It has turned from being something precious and private that was shrouded in modesty to being something openly talked of and shown everywhere one looks. Even small children are exposed to indecent language and sexuality on shows and movies that are supposed to be family oriented and it seems even their parents do not care to shield them from it half the time. It’s no big deal, really! It’s nothing they haven’t heard or seen before! Increases in science and technology have definitely done a lot of harm to traditional morality and left the human race with lingering questions about the human soul and what is ethical and moral. With the internet especially anyone can have access to pornography and other graphic and sexual content with simply the click of a button. How degrading all of this is to women.

Who’s my baby daddy shows and shows depicting pregnancy and birth and divorce are indecent and shameful. Whether they are scripted or not, they show a society that is falling apart all around us, yet we are not shamed and horrified at it, we are entertained by it. Instead of there being outrage at such things there is only rounds of laughter and more indecent talk. Instead of female sexuality being uplifted and honored and young women being taught modesty and the saving of their bodies and wombs for their husbands and how wonderful the ability to give life is the female body is instead degraded and young women are shown that their natural bodily functions are something to abhor and ultimately fear. They should instead medicate their wombs and have careers because pregnancy and birth are only acts that humiliate and degrade them and all marriages end in divorce. These shows not only have a very harmful effect on vulnerable young women who often never had anyone to love them nor teach them right from wrong but also I have to wonder what the long-term effect is on children. It is bad enough that nearly half of children growing up these days will know that they are bastards, but even worse to know momma was a slut and daddy denied his paternity openly and was just as promiscuous. No matter how much we try to de-stigmatize illegitimacy and promiscuity the effects it ultimately has on women and children cannot be washed away. We need modesty.

We need modesty because it makes women beautiful. Modesty means that women are respected by men and respected by society. When it comes to modesty, society must always be concerned primarily with women. When speaking of sex, we generally have to focus on women. Erection and ejaculation are the only male sex acts, but everything of a woman’s body is sexual and designed for a sexual purpose. It is more beautiful to have mystery, but it is degrading for society to openly speak of woman’s sexuality. The more of a woman’s body men are used to seeing in everyday life, the more skin showing it will ultimately take for a man to be turned on by a woman. Modesty protects women. It protects men’s investment in women. It protects women from being abused and exploited and it maintains sexual law and order.

Today young women are taught just to be “ready” before having sex. It’s a new day and age after all and we must forget the old ways. I find it shameful that the older generation of women is not teaching the young women of today how to act and how to be truly modest and the importance of marriage for sex and raising children. Many scoff at the younger generations and at how “out of control” they are but did they ever teach them any different? The younger generation is only a product of how they were raised. Most men and women are never taught one word by their parents or grandparents on their responsibilities in marriage. They are taught nothing about how they should treat the opposite sex or how to get along with the opposite sex and not a word is mentioned about the preciousness of a woman’s body and sexuality and how much more vulnerable she is than a man and how much more important her sexuality actually is.

Traditional femininity is more beautiful. A woman is more beautiful when her sexuality is a secret, when everything about her exudes femininity. I feel more beautiful in a modest feminine dress with a flower in my hair, bare feet touching the grass, being at once part child and part woman than with the heels and the mini-skirt expressing my sexuality and being “empowered.” Without modesty there can be no true respect, love or protection for the female sex.

CDD, You’ve Got it Wrong

Well, I’ve been involved in some interesting stuff here lately. I have been researching some social movements such as the christian patriarchy movement, stay at home daughters movement and the ever popular domestic discipline movement (sometimes part of the christian patriarchy movement). It’s good to at least see the culture moving towards patriarchy but i’m still seeing a lot of problems. First, some of these groups tend to be tinged with sexually explicit BDSM aspects. On some of my research adventures I’ve quite frankly felt a sudden urge to tighten up my anti-virus protection and have been really disturbed by a lot of things.

There does seem to be a lot of women out there really truly wanting to submit to their husbands and have happy homes. But the one thing I’ve seen that they are missing is that they still seem to be feminist in many aspects. For instance, I’ve gotten myself involved in a couple of conversations and following quite a few others. I’ve also been searching through blogs and websites and the one thing that I’ve noticed is that they are still feminist in the aspect of women working and nobody seems to want to talk about a husband’s responsibilities except for where keeping his wife “in line” is concerned. They promise to obey their husbands and then they march right off to work.

I responded to a posting in a group (a Christian domestic discipline group) I joined up with a week ago where a woman was talking about how her husband was disciplining her and how she can submit to him better and she was asking advice at what the other ladies and their husbands do. Then she went on to say about how she just lost her job and she was really stressed. I’ve seen this kind of conversation before and these ladies then go on to talk about how their husbands command them to do this or that before they head off to work and their husband’s discipline helps them relieve the stress they deal with at work and they will talk about having Bible studies and everything as well. I mean, something is seriously wrong here. I mean, you want your husband to spank the stress out of you that you acquired through sharing in his responsibilities? I’d rather be a feminist than deal with that! At least I could “go my own way.” I pointed out that it wasn’t her responsibility to go to work but her husband’s and his role as head of household is so that he can provide for her and their children better. So what did they say? Nothing. In fact, the group is acting like I don’t exist at all. The conversation kept on going and is still going and nobody has made mention or even cared about anything at all that I said. Some of them even wished her luck in finding a new job. But doesn’t their own Bible say it is for the man to work “by the sweat of his brow” to provide for his family and that the woman’s husband is to rule over her even though she will try to rule over him? They acknowledge the husband ruling over her part but make no mention about the man’s work to provide. Some also seem to think it’s perfectly acceptable for a boss or boyfriend to discipline a woman when only a husband (or father when she’s young) should have such a right.

Unfortunately I see these movements as some kind of game. They set out the “rules” of the game, they have names and abbreviations such as “HoH” (head of household) and things like that. They are still, however, part of the modern mainstream culture and what ultimately separates them from their BDSM loving secular egalitarian counterparts? The Bible studies where they ignore scripture and redefine it to what modern society says is right and wrong? These movements might tie in well with movements such as the men’s rights movement that wants men put in charge but still keeping the feminist ideals of women going out and holding employment regardless of their marital status.

Now I’m not going to argue about the whole men disciplining their wives thing. In truth, when it comes down to it, no authority is a real authority unless 1) it can enforce its rule with the approval of society and the law or 2) it has the power to discipline those under its rule. Everyone is disciplined by someone whether physical or not when they break a rule or law. I don’t believe that a man has any rightful authority unless he has unquestionable responsibility. I’ve seen some complain about women pressing charges for things like “marital rape” on their husbands. My thoughts? I don’t think it’s right but if men want to “go their own way” and leave women to fend for themselves then what do they expect? You can’t force yourself upon a woman and force her to bear your children when she can be forced to carry half the burden of the economic costs and you can abandon her any time you want to. You can’t put a woman “in her place” then tell her to go to work so you can sit back and and not have to worry so much. I’ve seen some women say they work full-time and then come home and cook dinner and get a beer for their husband so he can relax and watch TV! That’s insanity. That’s called exploitation. That’s called taking advantage of someone for your own benefit and to their detriment.

I think allowing men to use a little force to restrain their wives or even discipline when necessary might be appropriate and would give men both the power to protect themselves and as well protect their wives from her own foolishness and keep peace in the home. But it’s not a carte blanche to abuse a woman nor for him to push his burdens on her back so he doesn’t have as much to worry about.

What Does “Equality” Mean?

First of all, when I speak of “gender equality” it has absolutely nothing to do with the inherent worth of men and women Yet, that is precisely what most everyone I’ve ever heard justifies the idea of “gender equality” as. I have come across countless blog postings, websites and pages that talk about “gender equality” yet nobody seems to really have an idea of what this term actually means. Numerous people talk about “radical” feminists wanting abortion, obliteration of traditional gender roles, gay marriage and pushing women into combat and forcing them to register for the draft. Many people that I’ve come across that claim to be against all of these things still turn around and say something like “feminism did great things for women by giving them equality under the law” or they will say they are against all of those radical things yet say they unquestionably support “equality under the law.” My favorite is also MRAs who love the idea of patriarchy yet talk about “equality under the law for everyone.” Sheesh.

But what exactly do they think “equality under the law” means anyways? They seem to have some fairytale vision that feminism has somehow given women a status as human beings and that anyone who questions “gender equality” must think women are worth less than men (MRAs will think anyone that’s against it is an evil man-hating feminist).

Feminism has long been about the exact things they speak out against yet they say it’s done good things and praise equality. I’ve even watched pastors talk about how they are promoting “gender equality” while at the same time they are promoting men being breadwinners and speaking out against women in combat, abortion and gay marriage. Where is the reasoning here? Feminism is so pervasive in our culture that we can’t even see anything other than “equality.” And often times many will try to justify equality by saying that men and women are “different but equal.” Different? Definitely. Equal? In our inherent worth most certainly, but equal under the law? Almost entirely now. But what exactly does being equal mean anyways? Basically, equality has nothing to do with inherent worth of men and women and everything to with this:

1) Being “equal” means that women must be treated like men and men must be treated like women, no matter how logical it would be to treat us differently. Meaning:

* Women must be allowed into combat

* Women must be forced to register for the draft

* It is illegal to force upon men the sole obligation of the support of the family

* It is illegal for men to be the legal heads of their household

* It is illegal for an employer to refuse to hire a woman because of her marital status

* It is illegal to pay a man more money because he is expected to be the provider for his family

* Homosexuals must have the same rights in marriage as heterosexuals

* There can be no sex segregation in schools no matter the scientific evidence that boys and girls mature and learn differently and don’t even think about expecting that girls should be homemakers!

* Age of majority for males and females must be the same, despite the scientific fact that females mature faster than males

* Oh and don’t forget that statutory rape laws must be gender-neutralized to support political correctness and feminist theory that all laws must be sex-blind.

* Abortion must be legal under all circumstances

* Unwed fathers must be given the same rights as unwed mothers and married fathers under the law

* Yes, the vote falls under this category too (but women had the vote decades before women’s lib)

2) What equality under the law doesn’t mean

* That men and women have equal worth as human beings.

If you are a supporter of “equality under the law” or “gender equality” yet you object to any of the aforementioned policies maybe you should seriously look into the history of the theory of “gender equality.” The same radical things that feminists push for today are the same exact things they were pushing for 50 years ago (and, actually, some were pushing for these same policies long before that).

Because the concept of equality is so ingrained in our minds today anyone who dares speak out against it must justify their stance and plead that they actually do believe that men and women have equal value and worth as human beings. That is because mainstream culture and media has engrained so deeply in our heads that it took a social movement just for men to care for and respect women.

Such beliefs, however, are completely false. Our female ancestors did not have to justify their worth on the basis of whether or not they were “equal” to men. And men certainly didn’t go around defining their worth based on their status as “equal” or not to women. They would have thought such things were foolish, and for a good reason. So it’s time for us to start realizing and explaining exactly what “equality” is and exactly what it isn’t. It’s time for us to truly push feminism to the side and start re-examining the conventional wisdom of the past 50 years.

I know I have great worth equal to that of my husband but I do not want, however, for us to be “equal” to each other under the law because I believe men and women are different and the law needs to take into account those differences and men and women should have different responsibilities under the law and in the eyes of society.

Women, Stop Obeying Men

Seriously, stop it. I talk a lot about “male authority” and “male responsibility” around here. They are very important features of traditional women’s rights as they are the foundation of family security and stability. But that doesn’t mean that every woman is to obey every man she comes across! Far from it. In fact, traditional women might even be seen as the less obedient out of all the women out there because we refuse to obey any man except for our husbands. Most modern women actually obey many men- bosses, boyfriends, ex-husbands, etc. The problem with women today is that they are too submissive to the whims of many men out there. The non-traditional woman will agree to sex with a boyfriend without the promise of marriage or agree to go to work when her husband doesn’t want to support her. The traditional woman, however, does the opposite. She puts her foot down and demands responsibility on behalf of the man before she submits to him.

Traditional women believe only one man is to have any authority over her and that is the man that takes responsibility for her, is in a lifetime commitment to her and sees that she is protected and all of her basic needs are met. The non-traditional woman just consents to sharing in the man’s responsibility when he doesn’t want it.

Even in the days of coverture a woman never submitted to just any man. She only submitted to her husband who was legally bound to provide for her. Today the situation is reversed. Women submit to law enforcement and civil duties such as being called to sit on a jury that they used to be exempt from and submitting their votes to greedy politicians (mostly men) who could care less about them and they will willingly obey by submitting themselves to combat duty and the demands of a superior when they join in the armed forces. However, they won’t submit to their husbands at all and he has no real power over them. All the power over women once held solely by husbands is now dispersed between many men and women in turn obey many men- as long as it isn’t their husbands.

Unfortunately in today’s world because of feminists women often are obliged to obey many men who are not their husbands. This is why advocacy for coverture is a part of traditional women’s rights. Women should only have to obey their husbands who are responsible for them.

Update**

Just to make this clear this is an article comparing then vs. now just to show that feminists haven’t done anything good for women at all. This is not to say that there is not a hierarchy and times where a woman might have to obey another man (differently than she would her husband of course). This is just saying that women won’t submit to husbands but still do even more to other men than they did before! It is also meant to be informative about coverture.

Why Patriarchy?

Even regarding religion and patriarchy, why do you think these religions became so successful and dominant? The religions of non-patriarchal societies usually didn’t survive very long and those societies generally did not create prosperous civilizations. If we look at Judaism* and Christianity we see that they came from very patriarchal societies. They were born from civilizations that were patriarchal. Once the Hebrews (literally: “wanderers”) had a land of their own they were very prosperous, for a time anyways. They have a long history of building and destroying powerful civilizations. And, of course, Christianity has similar origins. Islam was born out of a land that was originally matrilineal and was turned very patriarchal. There is overwhelming evidence coming out that gender role reversal isn’t working (such as health problems in women who have high-stress jobs and high-earning careers and, of course, the rate of infant deaths at the hands of male caretakers while the mothers are off at work).

It is theorized that science might be changing the reality of gender, or at least might in the future. But, in all honesty I just don’t see this happening anytime soon. Women are still needed to bear children. We are the ONLY ones who can do this. There are plenty of experiments that worked well on lab rats but failed to live up to expectations for humans. I don’t really see there ever being a time where our child bearing abilities or men’s physical and mental abilities will be obsolete. I mean, what are we going to do? Require that all infant females undergo massive invasive surgery at birth so their eggs can be removed and frozen so that the future generation can grow in some artificial womb? What would we do have warehouses all around the world (taking up massive amounts of natural resources) housing these unborn infants? It is super simple to extract sperm from a man but even then artificial insemination is costly and can be quite ineffective.

 

So, let’s just rule out that science is going to change our lives that much. I doubt any of us will be alive if that day ever comes in the future.

 

Now, theoretically I believe the best environment for children is one that is stable. I believe that is the most important thing. A child that constantly goes back in forth between two different families (who often hate each other and are at war with each other) is not living in a stable environment. That is what gender equality and feminism has brought us. It treats illegitimate births the same as legitimate. It gives unwed fathers (who may only learn about the child’s existence many years in the future or may know but be unconcerned with the mother and the child) the same rights as a married father with legitimate children that has always lived with and support both mother and child. The biggest problem is that the unwed father often causes problems with the stability of the child’s life. Our society loves to pour criticism on “welfare mothers” (which are a problem in a class of their own) but never will you hear anyone mention what harm an unwed father causes. He may discover that he fathered a child only when the child is several years old and walk into that child’s life completely ripping apart the only reality the child has ever known. Or, he may refuse to marry the mother and instead assert his rights causing the child to have to be torn between the two parents. These men of course will not support the mother leaving her free to devote her time to her child because they do not have to. Instead, many deny all responsibility until it is convenient for them. Also, unwed fathers who do not live with the mother during pregnancy do not breathe in her pheromones and thus do not have their testosterone levels drop any to prepare them for settling down with the mother and child. Our modern court system does not care a man’s marital status or whether he has ever lived with the mother or child. He donates a sperm, they give him rights. I think Justices Burger and Blackmun made a perfect case against granting unwed fathers the same rights as married fathers (or for that matter, the same rights as mothers) in their dissenting opinion in Stanley v. Illionis in 1972 and why this is not a good environment for children. And, of course, our society today also faces another problem that making Unconstitutional to distinguish between unwed mothers and unwed fathers causes and doing away with the death penalty for rape: rapists are getting custody and visitation.

 

Now, we do have another option. Many societies have not recognized fatherhood at all. Today we have societies such as the Tuareg in Africa, the Moso in China and the Minangkabau in Indonesia. These societies practice matrilineal descent. The Moso, for instance, know no concept of paternity and the words “father” and “fatherhood” do not appear in their dictionaries (neither does the word “rape”). Generally in matrilineal societies it is the woman’s uncle who is the primary male authority figure within the family. Children belong to their mother’s family (who have sole rights and responsibility for their children) and paternity is never an issue.

 
Of course, many societies have survived like this. But, matrilineal societies are generally more primitive. They generally can’t compete with patriarchal societies and are usually conquered by them. Patriarchy serves to bring fathers into the family and maximize investment in children. An important aspect of patriarchy is that paternity does matter. The father will only invest in the children if they are legitimate (born to the woman he is married to). The father will only have rights and responsibilities to the child if it is legitimate. Illegitimacy is scorned and for obvious reasons. When a man has a wife and children that are “his” he has incentive to work hard for their support and protect them. Men then have incentive to build civilization and invest in their children. Thus the society becomes prosperous and civilized.

 
Ultimately other living arrangements could work as long as there is stability and strict gender roles. No society can withstand anarchy or an acceptance of every kind of living arrangement. I find it humorous how feminists point out these matrilineal societies and then act as if all the women in the society are “feminist” or that the society has adopted “feminist” values. Um, no, actually these societies still have strict rights, roles and responsibilities between the sexes. Feminism does not give this to society. Feminism breaks down gender roles and gives rights and responsibilities indiscriminately. This is not a sustainable practice and actually serves to do more injustice to women and children.

 
Personally, I prefer patriarchy. It is better for women in many ways. When a woman stays close to one man who has the legal responsibility for her support and protection then she is ultimately a lot safer. She is safer from being harassed, raped or hurt by other men as she sticks close to her husband who takes care of her. While no system is without its faults, the patriarchal system ultimately works best towards the protection of women and children. A woman is certainly much safer with a husband than with casual encounters with other men and children are certainly better off when there is a stable home life. The evidence is simply irrefutable; the damage broken homes have on children negatively effects their life span and their mental and physical health. Divorce has a domino effect. It affects not only your children but your grandchildren as well. And of course, women today are suffering from depression, anxiety and other potentially fatal medical conditions in record numbers due to the breakdown of families and gender roles.

 
Patriarchy works.It builds civilization and works towards the best interest of women and children.

 

 

*There are some small traces in the Bible of Jewish decent being matrilineal. However, this is not widespread in the Bible. Overwhelmingly, the monotheistic religions have always been overwhelmingly patrilineal and strongly patriarchal.

 

 

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