Category Archives: Marriage

The Sanctity of Marriage

As is always the way with me, I’m a thinker, a doer. Lately it has been on my mind to write a few things. Many aspects in life and including the comments I’ve received here have led me to think about these things. First off, I just want to say that it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about the way you choose to live your life whenever you choose to live in a traditional way. I don’t have anyone I’m trying to please and the opinions even of my own relatives are unimportant to me. What they think about my lifestyle doesn’t matter.

Recently I had to send a formal letter to my own mother telling her that I wished no further contact with neither her nor any of my relatives. They were interfering in my life and it concerned me. It was getting completely out of hand. They would rather see my marriage ruined, they would rather see me finish college and live the life they want for me to be living[i].

But the thing is that none of that matters to me. And I’m writing and saying all of this because I know just how many young women out there are facing the same pressures from relatives[ii]. But like I told my own mother, I love her- I really do- I’ve always longed for a good relationship with her but I know that it’s just never going to happen. Ultimately, they are not what is of importance. They want me to live in a certain way but they won’t be the ones who ultimately pay the price for the life they believe I should be living- I will be.

Traditionally the law threw a cloak over marriage[iii][iv]. Even in religious beliefs, it is well established that a man and women leave the sphere of their relatives and join together. From then on out they are one and all others take second stage (or in some cases, such as is often the case with friends and acquaintances, cease to matter altogether). Only in matriarchal or tribal societies does marriage not take on such importance[v]. In these kinds of societies, even the raising of children becomes some community matter and there are no permanent and stable romantic relationships between men and women.

The existence and establishment of “gender equality” and “gay marriage” have lessened the importance and sacredness of marriage by obliterating separate rights and responsibilities between the sexes and stripping the true meaning from sex- but even here many jurisdictions still cloak marriage in various ways (such as exclusive rights to offspring within the marriage and immunity regarding testifying in criminal/civil cases). Where the last of these privileges fall by the wayside, it means that society no longer sees marriage as something worth preserving nor protecting.

This showcases what marriage traditionally meant to our society. Traditionally, the husband was head of the household. His wife and his children were his[vi]. The marriage was sacred and outsiders had no right to come in and interfere with the relationship of a man and his wife, or of parents and their legitimate offspring unless compelling circumstances necessitated the law’s interference. When you take away the foundations of the institution of marriage you also strip away all these protections.

Also keep in mind here that it doesn’t matter what the “majority” are supposedly thinking. Your average, ordinary citizen is largely ignorant of the law[vii] and the world around him (or her). Despite all our fancy technological gadgets, human beings are not any more or less ignorant than what we were thousands of years ago. Human nature doesn’t change and likewise humans tend to let emotion overwhelm them and get into a mob mentality where all common sense flies out the window. But that’s why your average, ordinary citizen doesn’t have the power to make laws or policies[viii].

It doesn’t matter what others say or do. Your best protection is to educate yourself (this can be done outside of formal settings) and marry a good man while you’re young. From there on out- no matter what the society might say right now as the society is not always right- your husband should be your everything. A young woman should start out by looking to her husband for everything. He should be your protection, your provision and your guidance that you look to. You will also hold great influence over him as well as many a man have accomplished great things when they had the guidance and support of a good and faithful woman by their side.

Relatives, in-laws, friends can all be nasty and vicious and tear apart marriages if they are allowed to. That’s why the marital relationship must be first in importance and why we need to get to the point in society once again where the husband is the head of house and responsible for his family and, absent compelling circumstances, rights are only established and defined within the state of marriage. In our world today, marriage is regarded as a mere piece of paper that is optional whenever men and women procreate with each other- but this has got to change.

The marriage protects your privacy, the marriage protects your well-being. Also realize your influence as a woman. I never felt that my mother or relatives had my best interests at heart, which is why I always rejected the things they wanted for me and I always left their side and their influence to bond with my husband. I knew that my protection was only going to be found in him. I knew that no one else could ever protect, love or understand me the same. Others will invade on your home, attempt to run your life and invade your personal sphere and privacy if they are allowed to. Marriage should block this from happening and traditionally it always did by clearing establishing rights and responsibilities that could not be obtained anywhere else[ix].

Under coverture, for instance, husband and wife were considered as one[x]. A wife could represent her husband or conduct business in his absence even if need be, as they were one. A man could take his wife, wherever he found her, and take her with him wherever he went, as he had a right to keep her by his side and nobody had a right to keep him from her (unless she had obtained a legal separation from him). This protected her, and this protected the husband as well. A wife had a right to the support and protection of her husband, as he was responsible for her[xi]. He had the obligation to support her, and this ensured her security when she left her family and had children. The idea is to leave one’s relatives and cling to one another, forsaking all others[xii]. Even where your children are concerned, teach them the sanctity of marriage as one day they will leave the home to form their own families.

When the law upholds traditional marriage, the door can be slammed in the face of outsiders and all others as what goes on inside the home is sacred, because the marital relationship is sacred. I know that my husband knows me better than anyone else, and being there under his wing keeps others from harming and harassing me. My privacy is assured, my security is assured. This is important.

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[i] This is what life looks like when following the feminist plan, check out my earlier article where I discussed my thoughts regarding this: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/why-young-women-shouldnt-listen-to-their-mothers-generation/

[ii] One recent comment (though there have been many just the same) on one of my recent postings showcases the pressures many women get, being forced into feminist lifestyles which they do not want on account of pressure from relatives https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2017/11/30/listen-to-me-victimology-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-1133

[iii] For another example of the law legally cloaking marriage and protecting children and families, see The United States Supreme Court case of Michael H. v. Gerald D., 491 U.S. 110 (1989)

[iv] There are numerous ways in which the law has done this, from spousal immunity to testifying in criminal trials, to disallowing paternity suits to children born within marriage, to protection in cases of disability and death, etc… Some states, such as California and New York, for instance, no longer regard marriage as a sacred institution, instead declaring that a child may even have as many as three legal parents in California, https://verdict.justia.com/2013/10/15/california-allows-children-two-legal-parents an unmarried father having the right to claim rights to a child being raise by a woman and her lawful husband, and New York, for instance, recognizes no protections regarding privileged communications even regarding those occurring within legal marriage before the marriage has broken down.

[v] The Mosuo, from China, for instance, are probably the last modern example of this kind of matriarchal family structure: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/01/the-kingdom-of-women-the-tibetan-tribe-where-a-man-is-never-the-boss https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/dec/19/china-mosuo-tribe-matriarchy The Late Daniel Amneus also portrayed the matriarchal way in his infamous book “The Garbage Generation: On the Need for Patriarchy” which showcases that many historical societies had no concept of even the word “father” as is the custom in patriarchal societies.

[vi] See my previous article https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/the-wrongs-of-the-mens-movement/ for more info on a father’s authority under coverture

[vii] Look at this poll, for instance, as reported in an article on CNN https://www.cnn.com/2017/09/13/politics/poll-constitution/index.html which states that more than 1/3 of individuals surveyed couldn’t name a single right protected by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, only ¼ could name all three branches of government, and 1/3 couldn’t name any branch of government.

[viii] The framers of the Constitution intentionally feared a direct democracy, as well as too strong of a central government (even though they realized a stronger centralized government was necessary as the Articles of Confederation were weak and thus had to be repealed, and ultimately replaced, with the new Constitution that called for a Republic form of government where people elect representatives but do not directly make the laws and policies), and feared putting important matters in the hands of the common people http://www.americantraditions.org/Articles/Why%20Our%20Founders%20Feared%20a%20Democracy.htm

[ix] The old protections of marriage are numerous and plentiful. Check out some of my earlier articles on illegitimacy, for instance, for more references to ways in which this is so: https://whatswrongwithequalrights.wordpress.com/tag/illegitimacy/

[x] See, for instance, William Blackstone’s Commentaries on the Laws of England https://www.thoughtco.com/blackstone-commentaries-profile-3525208 ; http://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/blackstone-commentaries-on-the-laws-of-england-in-four-books-vol-1 As American law is derivative of the common law of England, which was adopted by the colonists and still, to this day, remain our laws unless otherwise changed.

[xi] Consider the old English common-law “Doctrine of Necessaries” https://definitions.uslegal.com/d/doctrine-of-necessaries/

[xii] Though still treading the bounds of political correctness, consider this article which cites Biblical references about forsaking all others within marriage: Protecting Marriage from Outside Intruders: http://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kreitz/christian/Boundaries/09intruders.pdf

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The Wake-Up Call

Sometimes in my spare time I like to watch old classic and vintage movies and TV shows. A while back I was watching a show called The Real McCoys. In one of the episodes, Grandpa and all of the guys were sitting around talking and one of the men starts chiming in about how he “runs his house” while all the men praise him as some sort of hero for it and it seems, at least on the outside, that what he’s saying might be true as it appears that his wife is doing what he’s telling her to do. Then one evening, however, the men are sitting around at his house (the guy who was doing all the talking about how he “ran his house” and “ran” his wife) drinking beer and playing cards when his wife comes home and they go in the bedroom and start arguing, with the wife complaining about the men being there and the husband then apologizing to her and everything. Meanwhile, all of the guys have their ears pressed up against the door listening to the whole conversation and hearing the wife berate the husband for having the guys there so late at night in the house. The guys then back off when they hear the couple coming out of the bedroom, look at each other kind of disappointed-like and say they better be getting home. Later on in the episode when they’re all alone, Grandpa tells his grandson, Luke, that all that talk about him “running” his grandmother was a load of hogwash. He then confesses that it was only true half of the time, and the other half of the time she “ran” him. Not only that, but he also confesses to his grandson that “…The truth is, I guess I just kinda miss it.” He says all this to his grandson and tells his grandson that he has a good and sweet wife, and he just didn’t want to see him go and ruin his relationship with her.

The truth of the matter is, a man’s authority is never 100%. A man is only given authority to fulfill his responsibilities to provide for and protect his wife and children or anyone else that is depending on him. A man also must have standing in order to assert authority; meaning, a man must be operating in his rightful role and fulfilling his responsibilities in order to be able to claim any kind of genuine authority over a woman (or anyone else).

To put it another way, consider how the courts consider if a person’s “rights” have been violated. A person must first have some sort of standing to be able to make a claim to some sort of rights or violation of rights. Take the instance of, say, a claim of an “unreasonable search or seizure.” An example would be when law enforcement come and search you or any property you have in your possession or a place where you are staying. An individual would first have to make a showing to the court that they not only had a right to be in the place that they were at, but also that they had a legitimate interest in or right of ownership to the property. If the individual doesn’t own the property, live there and maintain it, isn’t lawfully occupying it (long-term or temporarily), or has simply disposed of the property and shown no further interest in it, then the individual has no standing in regards to the property and thus there has been no violation of rights- because the individual had no right to the property in the first place or was only using or occupying it for unlawful and illegitimate purposes.

A woman is under no obligation to obey her husband if he is in the wrong. Also, sometimes a man may not realize the consequences of his actions and sometimes he falters, as well. In such a case it is up to his wife (or in some cases perhaps even his children) to tell him that he’s in the wrong and that he’s hurting them or depriving them of some legitimate need that they have a right to (a “legitimate need” being any physical need that is his responsibility to provide- food, shelter, clothing- or, in some instances, a true psychological need such as affection or love). As well, sometimes a man simply doesn’t realize that his actions are harming his family, harming his wife, or even that there’s a problem in the first place. In this case, if a woman never stands up for herself then nothing is ever going to change. No matter what men like to say, the truth of the matter is that most women have to make men grow up and take responsibility or else they never really will.

I think there was a true wake-up call for my husband yesterday. I didn’t go out and take on paid employment or anything like that, but I have been doing a lot of work to help my husband with activities and responsibilities that rightfully fall within his domain. Last night, however, the stress of it all was just getting to me too badly and my husband sat there at the table and watched me cry my eyes out. I was stressed, I was hurting, I was deprived of rest, angry towards him, and simply couldn’t take any more. Not only that, I’m a woman and deal with female issues too that were hitting me pretty hard. It was at that point that things changed, especially after a text message that was taken the wrong way. I was telling him how stressed I was and then the next thing I know I had a message come across with him telling me how he was going to come home and pop the cork on a bottle of wine and have a drink.

I began to get belligerently angry at that point and told him he was an idiot (YES I said those exact words), slammed down the phone, dropped everything I had been doing to help him and went right back to what I should have been doing all along- my duties as a wife and as a mother.

When he came home he said that it was taken out of context and that he just intended for us to relax together that evening, but nonetheless, I took it as him saying he was going to come home and start drinking while I sat there doing work that he rightfully should have been doing. I told him, plain and simple, that I had duties to fulfill as a wife and mother and those duties did not include fulfilling his responsibilities while he came home and sat around drinking! Though that was never his intention to do and it only came out wrong, it nonetheless got me thinking that there are a lot of women who deal with this exact same thing (as well as many other issues with their men). And guess what? Things will never change unless a woman makes it clear to a man that his behavior is not acceptable and refuses to go along with it. After I went off on him and refused to touch his responsibilities, guess who stopped watching television and started doing what he should have been doing in the first place?

Inside of marriage or outside, men just simply aren’t going to grow up if women are not making them do so. They aren’t going to marry, they aren’t going to be responsible husbands or fathers or ANYTHING unless women start demanding it of them. And it doesn’t matter one bit what men say. There’s such a thing called “talking shit”- and men- all men- do a lot of it. But in the end, women DO have the power to make men act better and change their ways. A woman does this with her love, a woman does this by being chaste and being a dutiful wife and mother and clearly communicating her needs to a man. Most of all, a woman does this by refusing to participate in activities that harm her, that go against what is right, and by refusing to submit to a man who is not operating within his rightful role or assuming his rightful responsibilities.

Also, a wife and mother has authority over her children as well as certain aspects of the household, which also means she has certain responsibilities therein. If she must do the man’s duties, then she must neglect her own responsibilities or else do both while her health and well-being suffers and the man is given free rein to act immature and irresponsible. I put down what I was doing for him, refused to touch it again as it had been consuming too much of my time and putting unnecessary stress on me and went to do my own duties. Ultimately, most men would probably much prefer it this way anyway, as it means the feminine things are taken care of.

I relaxed this morning. Even though I didn’t get all that much sleep, I still oddly felt like I had rested enough (probably because a lot of the strain was gone) and I laid in bed a bit longer while my daughter was up getting ready for school until it was time for her to leave. If nothing else, I was psychologically more at peace. It’s unreasonable, especially when I already deal with feminine issues that really hit me hard to also deal with male responsibilities. (My husband used to think things like “PMS” and the like were just women exaggerating- until he got married. Now he sees first hand, EVERY MONTH in symptoms that last for at least one to two weeks, how hard those things really do hit women and how much of a stress it is and what women actually go through- including a lot of physical pain and emotional strain- on account of our biology.)

I spent the morning doing all the girly things I do and taking care of the home. Nothing is neglected in the home now as it’s all pretty and clean and smells nice. He bought me a pretty shaded up-lamp yesterday and I put it in the kitchen for decoration and to give some soft lighting and I like to light up candles, spray freshener in the room and keep some flowers on the counter-top to make things all pretty, as well as make sure the floors are freshly swept and mopped. I like to take my time in making my own home in my own soft and feminine ways and always smiling while I do so.  As a wife and mother, even after many years, I’ve still kept my beautiful figure, pretty long hair, still stay freshly showered and wear makeup and pretty clothes, still act feminine and girly, and keep the house fresh and clean and everything organized. I like all the girly feminine things. He keeps me, loves me, protects me and has sheltered me for all these years so I get to remain all soft and fragile-like and feminine. It’s also the best anti-aging regimen one could ask for.

There’s nothing more wonderful than keeping a beautiful (even if only a simple) home and having a loving family. So always pass such wisdom on to your daughters and teach them the ways to be feminine, chaste, and keep a good home and love their husbands and family with all their hearts.

Not All Women Are Like That

I know that I have challenged you men to tell me that I was wrong about it all, to tell me that I speak untruths about the reality of life and the world around me, yet not a one of you have done so. Yet instead you call me one-in-a-million, a rare gem and flower in a world of evil, greed and superficiality. I’d like to think that it were true, as all humans would, that I was truly something special and different, yet I can nonetheless guarantee that I might well be able to assemble a battalion of women who think as I do; who feel as I do; who believe and love as I do.

What many do not realize is that even in a court of law, an expert witness upon the stand- even where generally accepted as reliable forensic evidence is concerned, is only stating an opinion. It is then up to the trier of fact alone to take in the totality of the circumstances to draw a rational conclusion as to whether or not said testimony and evidence presented is reliable, accurate, factual, relevant or likely to accurately shed light upon the truth of the matter asserted.

Take your cult leader who says to the world that All Women Are Like That and put him upon the stand to testify. Is he rational? Is he competent? Does he bring his own biases and prejudices to the witness stand? Does he have a personal interest in the outcome of this search for the truth? Does he have motive and reason to falsify his testimony? Would a rational and competent judge impeach him from the stand and instruct the jury to disregard his testimony as being overtly biased and likely false? Does he have a reputation and history for speaking untruths?

Though the universe is yet bound by the laws of physics and mathematics- laws which are universal truths and which none can escape- scientific theories are just that- theories. They are tried and tested and retried and retested in succession- year after year- by human beings wishing to shape the world to their own beliefs and perceptions and further understand and explore the mysteries of the world around them. This is done for a multitude of reasons, such as perhaps mere curiosity all the way up to the bettering of life for all of humanity. The trier of fact- that trier of fact being you, that trier of fact being me– must look carefully at the research, the methods, the individuals in question and the chain of custody for which the research or evidence has gone through in order to arrive at a conclusion whether or not the research and the individual(s) testifying to it can or cannot be trusted- whether or not it is likely to be truthful.

For many men, all women really are like what the manosphere claims them to be. This would likely be so because in their world all women really are like that, because like attracts like and these are the only women that they go around chasing, thus confirming- at least in their minds- their own biases. They don’t know any other kind of woman exists, because they’ve never met one, because they form their opinions based upon their own biases and then apply those biases to the world around them. They chase a certain type of woman and then legitimately believe that nothing else exists.

But a woman is more than capable of loving deeply and truly. Yes, I love ****- but only because I love the man that it is attached to. So wondrous, so beautiful, I think during the act that he’s so good, he feels so good; could anything feel better? My mind is filled with the thoughts of him being inside of me, of him taking all of me in the most beautiful and wondrous way that I am made as a woman. Promiscuity is damaging- the very thought of it- because of the wondrous way in which I am made. Valuable and precious it is, which is why the taking of it via force, lack of consent, or by some other form of deceptive means is psychologically devastating to the point that some women can never heal from such abuses.

I don’t think of partying, bar-hopping, of being used or abused or living a life “wild and free.” A cold beer or wine holds no appeal unless I have him by my side to love and hold me. I’m attracted to his strength, his dominance, the feel and weight of his body, the solidness of it and the way I feel so full inside of me- full because he’s inside of me, knowing he’ll never leave me, that every inch of me is beautiful, loved and cherished. It’s better if he errs on the side of seriousness than foolishness, hardness rather than softness, for I am not happy if I feel as though I cannot hold him tight and depend upon him.

But sex is more, it is about that emotional connection, about that closeness to him that cannot be replaced by any other relationship, whether in the form of friendships, relatives or acquaintances. If he’s inside of me, then all thoughts disappear to be replaced by him and only him. He is my protection, my provision, there is an economic basis, need and responsibility, but I can go back to many years ago and produce documentary evidence showing my love for him and my written and verbal testimony to that love.

It is that love, for without it life is bleak and holds no appeal. It is that need not to be alone and to be complete inside. It is that love for which even the most damaged modern woman or man still longs for on the inside. It is that love that only grows stronger through the hard times, the fights, the everything, because he knows me inside and out, as I know him. It’s the kind of love that endures over decades because none other could ever love or know me that way. Don’t discount me as a bitch when I speak of responsibilities, for humans create these responsibilities out of love and a need for one another. If I tell him that he is my one and only one, that my love is true, it is because I am his, as he in return is mine. It is the same beauty of humanity that has endured and remained unchanged throughout all of time. Not all women are as you perceive them to be, if only you were looking in the right places with the right intentions, you’d see that a woman’s heart could be pure and true as the finest of all treasures.

Listen to Me/Victimology Part II

I’ve been a bit ill as of late and have honestly been quite apathetic in regards to my writings and other activities I normally take delight in doing. But anyone who knows me knows I’m not the type to just sit around feeling sorry for myself. The worse I feel, the more inclined I am to get up and move around more and get even more work done. Today I continued on with more deep cleaning that I have been doing for quite a while now. When I was done I had the house deep cleaned to perfection, with windows/windowsills, floors, refrigerator, bathrooms, and living room sparkling to perfection. Afterwards, I changed and cleaned up and lit a scented candle and opened up the main window in the living room, letting the fresh sunlight pour into the house. I then sat there and looked out the window, and looked around at the home that I’ve made and kept up.

It was then that I knew in my heart, that if the only thing I ever accomplished in life was this- the making of a home and family and finding stable love- that I had done well. Despite all, I had this peace in my heart when I took in the stillness and beauty of my own home, a home and stable life created when I was so young. Inside of me, as it always does, I then started having the stirrings in my heart to write again. I wanted to say what I have just said here, that I may not have some fancy Master’s Degree, I may not have some glamorous job or paid employment of any kind. I don’t bring home a paycheck, but I know I’ve done more good in this simple stable life I’ve created in a patriarchal marriage than what I could have ever probably done as a modern woman with career and independence in an “equal” relationship.

This point was drove home to me whenever my husband came home late this evening and I was encouraged all the more that I had something in my heart to write about. I never cared what he was out doing, because I knew he was committed to me, but I was kind of curious. The reason he was late was unexpected: Fox News had asked him for a brief interview for his “opinion” on some local going-ons (he turned them down, btw). Nothing too exciting, just the usual stuff- unwed motherhood, perpetual adolescence, illicit drugs and infant neglect. This is such a common problem in society that it’s not even shocking. In fact, it’s become the norm.

Going into the Victim and Women’s Rights Movement, it’s easy to see the bureaucracies that have been set up all around the country: child support, rape crisis, domestic violence crisis, counseling centers, etc… These are all attempts to overthrow the patriarchy and outlaw the policing, regulating, stigmatizing, and legislating of women’s sexuality.

But society has traditionally regulated women’s sexuality and imposed various forms of male guardianship on women- and there’s a reason for this. Just like the latest fad diet cannot replace the age-old tried-and-true reality of the laws of thermodynamics, neither can victim and feminist legislation replace the tried and true model of patriarchy. I am unaware, even dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, of any society leaving an actual written history or legacy or achieving of any scientific and social advancements that did not have political and family structures that were patriarchal (it’s worth noting that women still had great status though even in these ancient societies, btw and could still own property and engage in business if they so desired).

If you are a young girl in her teenage years or woman in her early 20s then you need to listen to this. (I signal out this age group because these are the formative years, and also the age group Pick-Up-Artists target due to these young women’s lack of life experience and knowledge of men). I know what our laws state. I know what these organizations do and I know that this is not the kind of life that you want to go down.

Let’s say you are a 16-year-old girl. Do you ever feel the stirrings inside of you to be with a young and handsome man and have babies? Do you dream of love and romance? Even when society tells you college and career first? I know I did- and that’s OK. It’s perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you feel this instinct then don’t deny it. That’s how you’re made and it’s a beautiful thing- but it must be done the right way.

You can close the doors, and, without shame whenever you’re all alone, truly marvel in the preciousness that is your body; the preciousness in the way you are made as a female. It’s very distinct from the way a male is made. It’s OK to be made weaker. It’s OK to be more vulnerable and emotional. It’s OK to sometimes have fear or a sense of wonderment at the uniquely female aspects of life (menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, etc…) And trust me when I say this, men do like it. Men aren’t looking down at you for these distinctly female things (most marvel over it, actually). Men still obsess over women, women’s sexuality, the female form, femininity. If they could truly “go their own way” they wouldn’t be devoting hours upon hours to talking about and obsessing about women non-stop. And also trust that men aren’t going to judge you or think you’re honestly worth less because you’re weaker or have less career achievements. Guys like your femininity. Strong men love it and they also love that you love it. Love the things that define you as distinctly different from a man.

But know that, no matter what society tells you or what promises are made to you, only share your body with your husband. And I think it’s good to devote time to looking for a husband first. Despite the modern world, you can find a good husband if you want one. And there’s something precious too about marrying a man from your youth, perhaps your “high-school sweetheart” or a guy your age you grew up with or hung around from your area. Marriage at a very young age, even in your late teenage years, will protect you and guard your sexuality throughout these formative years and as you age more into maturity, you will have preserved your femininity and can look in delight with peace at the years gone by. A lot of the old pressures for women to marry young was more than likely to protect them and guard their sexuality in all likelihood.

And trust me, it will be good. Better than what you could ever imagine. And if you doubt what I’m saying, then look into the laws the women’s movement changed. Look into what these organizations and advocacy groups are really all about. Take a critical look at the world around you and then ask yourself if that’s something you want to get caught up in, if that’s the life you want to live. The first and foremost thing for a young woman is to not share her body with any man other than her husband and, second, not to have illegitimate children. There can be no exceptions to this.

This is the reality, that a woman would be better off having her sexuality policed. I don’t know one unwed mother that doesn’t regret putting the father’s name on the birth certificate and pursuing child-support. I don’t know one young woman who’s been caught up in such drama regarding promiscuity and illegitimate children that probably doesn’t wish, deep down inside, that a male relative would have just slapped her across the face rather than having been caught up in the system or have a slew of sexual encounters with men who wanted nothing more than sex with her. And that’s what it is, advocacy for victims and abused women and unwed mothers belongs somewhere else other than the government agencies. You’re just a case number to them, nothing more. Trust me when I say that these organizations will re-victimize the already victimized and nothing more.

What should an unwed mother do? Find a husband. It should also be enforced upon husbands the responsibility to financially support their wives. Make no mistake- the financial support of wives is of paramount importance and has long been the defining point of patriarchy and there is a valid reason for why female financial dependence upon husbands or male relatives is so important.

Nature has placed infant children by default within the care of their mothers, but nature has made men physically and socially superior to women. If an unwed mother cannot marry the actually father, then it should be another man who will accept responsibility for her and the child. And his rights and responsibilities as the father (regardless of any biological relationship) should be enforced upon the marriage. Except in special circumstances as to be determined by a judge, unwed fathers (or even divorced ones for that matter) shouldn’t be liable for any kind of child support. That’s just another bureaucratic system set up by the women’s movement to destroy the stability of families and, just as with the other new victims’ laws, has done absolutely no good to anyone. It serves nothing more than to enable the wrong-doers and finger-pointers and perpetuate a cycle of victimization. Sure, the man might “go free” without responsibility but there are other areas in life where women do the same where men can’t. It just is what it is. Men and women cannot be made equal through coercive legislation.

Unwed mothers actually had more protections when social stigma outcast them and their children than they do today. Don’t believe that? Don’t believe any of this at all that I speak about? Seek for yourself whether what I’m saying is true or not- dig deep and think critically and rationally without letting emotion overwhelm you- then go and form your own conclusions.

Every time I hear of one more case of drama, of drugs, of a girl having a baby with a man she won’t stay with and then having another baby with a subsequent man, every drug case, every rape, every sexual harassment incident, I’m reminded that society has put women into positions that allow them to be victimized and that society has removed all controls and restraints on sexuality and appropriate family arrangements that would give children and young people the proper start in life.

I don’t really care if people hate me or love me, and neither should anyone else. People who are going to hate you don’t need a reason to do so, and oftentimes you will find that even if you give in and live the life they say you should be living (ie., finding paid employment) that they will still hate you. So let those who will hate you, hate you still. Let those who will love you, love you still.

I have been different than others all my life, but that’s OK. I’ve known no other life than a truly patriarchal one where I married young and never worked. But we are the only family that is still intact that I know of that hasn’t had a whole slew of problems that are commonplace in today’s post-feminist society. He’s still my first and only husband, only one to father my child. I’ve never brought up a child in an unstable environment with illegal drugs or any other problems that are so common.

The only way to know how much worth and value a woman has in the patriarchal system as a wife and mother is to take her out of that system- that’s when all Hell erupts and it becomes clear how much the women (women like myself who have become a rarity) society looked down upon as “childish parasites” were really worth and how much good she really did, a good she could never have done competing with men out in the world and having a career and independence- a good life that feminism and the pursuit of equality cannot compete with.

Previous Related Posts on this Topic:

Victimology
The Legitimacy Principle and the Good of Patriarchy
The Wrongs of the Men’s Movement

My Covering

My Covering

I try to do my best every day to obey my husband and do what he tells me to do. Inside I feel like God has favored me by giving him to me as my covering; my provision and my protection. He shields me from the world, keeping me there under his wing and in his love. He is my choice. I chose him so long ago whenever I was young. Even in the times that I didn’t want to follow him, I still did, because I didn’t always have much of any other choice. I went with him, as he is my only source of provision in this life so I followed where he led. If he doesn’t listen, then he causes me pain and suffering. If he doesn’t understand, I hold that resentment inside. That’s why he must listen to what I say to him, to the things that my heart needs inside. He must listen to me with love and understanding as he was called to do, putting me above all others, as I do with him in return.

But there is love unimaginable. Whenever I’m lying there with him in the night, I know that I’m safe. It’s safe to let him inside of my body. I can take every bit of him in with love, as I know I’m safe to do so. He’s my covering and I don’t have to fear his abandonment come the morning. I can’t describe that feeling nor that joy whenever he’s inside of me. Sometimes I wonder how anything could ever feel or be so good. To be filled physically by one and only one man that I love and rely on, I know it’s safe to simply open up and relax. There’s something wonderous in the way my female form was made. I love the feel of it, to relish in it.

I don’t feel degraded when I’m lying there under him. In some sense I do feel inferior, but it is only in a good way; inferior in the sense that I know I’m subject to him, yet I have worth and value beyond compare, value that goes far beyond just the physical. All I have to do is ask and he’d give it to me. I know that I am cherished above all other women, beloved above all others. My position is important. There’s something so precious about it, to know how he invades me on the inside, and how I long for him to do so. The most private and intimate of things that I delight in in wonderment, that I would be horrified beyond words to just share with anyone. It’s beautiful beyond words the way my body was made. I have no reason to be scared or sad after the act is over, as it is an act of love, and not of temporary perversion, of the man that I love, of the only man who has ever lain with me, the same man who I have relied on for years.

The way I love him when I’m scared or in danger, the way I come to him. Many times has he picked me up in his arms and carried me; many times have I rested my head against his chest and let him protect and hold me. So easy is it for him to overpower me, but I know he would never hurt me. I delight in the feeling and strength of his arms. The few nights that I have ever been without him were nights of loneliness, pain and fear. If I left him temporarily, it’s like his covering was removed from me, and I was extremely frightened. I’ve always depended on him for my livelihood, knowing no other life but a truly patriarchal one. Yet I know I’ve never been oppressed. I have been favored and loved. I pursue my dreams and passions, yet I do so there under his covering. And I do know the power he has over me in that I have no means to provide for myself. And it’s OK. If I’m depending on him then I need him. If he is providing for me, then I know I am secure. When there is no mixing of the roles, then there is no confusion or contempt. I ask him for the things I need. I feel happy and free. Free to be soft, feminine, devote myself to my home and family and focus on being a woman. His covering allows me to be a feminine woman who doesn’t have to toughen up to focus on advancing in the work world. I don’t have to devote my time to hardening myself and focusing on moving up the career ladder.

Coverture has protected me from being out in the world to be raped, abused, harmed or harassed by other men, or by others in general. Sometimes when I have gone through hard times I’ve stopped and wondered, asked, that if there was really a God out there, then what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to be? For the last few months I’ve felt this voice inside of me, perhaps an intuition trying to guide me, that speaks to me. But that voice has never told me to be independent, to go out and conquer the world or anything of the sort. The only thing that I hear inside is this voice telling me just to be a woman. And there is something precious inside. My very feminine essence I feel is so precious. And it’s precious when I’m with him, most precious of all the way I feel when he’s inside of me, most precious when he kisses me. I’m odd for the times we live in today, but I am no different than the women who came before me. Above all, I was made to be a woman. I was made to be loved and to be delighted in, that feminine essence inside of me so powerful and unique.

 

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