Category Archives: Guest Posts

Reasons Why I Personally Believe in Traditional Family Values and the Preservation of a Patriarchal Society

Guest Post by Ms. N.

It wasn’t meant to be this way. Take it from a 31 year old female who got her Bachelor’s degree with honors in 2005. After several years of being bullied by other women in offices, while men never cared to try and look into, or help the matter. I went to the male managers once or twice, trying to make the organization better by making them aware of employees that were costing the company efficiency, and all it ever did was make every day miserable for me.

Where was the joy and happiness that was mentioned when growing up? This job or career that was supposed to be so magical and liberating? Where was the feeling of “independence?” (I couldn’t feel real independence until I was far away from these unethical individuals). Wasn’t that supposed to happen when I started working full-time, and got my own apartment? Surely I was not misled….

It has been a very tough pill to swallow. I look back on the past and think to myself how many relationships I could have possibly had with good men, but for various reasons, could not. God, and nature, have intended a man to be a woman’s leader, as well as her provider. But, thanks to modern day feminism, I bought into the idea of not being vulnerable and trusting of men in my earlier office days. And, who knows? Maybe they would not have stepped up financially in the end. Maybe they would have. But looking back, it would’ve at least been worth it to let my guard down and find out for myself.

Perhaps it was the people and misery I was around every day, but, I am not here to blame and point fingers anymore. I am just here to say that these experiences have made it all the more evident to me: Money-making (paid work) is masculine. I’ve always had some of these ideas, but not to the extent that I do today.

To my surprise, my brother even agreed with me on the matter recently, and he is an Atheist. That made it clear to me that even people who don’t believe in God, can deduce that this is still the natural way of life. Furthermore, he made the statement about a woman getting up and taking the lead as manager at his place of employment. This made him suddenly feel unattracted to her, once she went into a masculine role. Which begs the question I have asked myself for quite some time now: WHY is there a desire to play the man? Is it to buy a new designer purse and look feminine until you step into the man’s shoes tomorrow? Is it to afford your child’s daycare in which half your paycheck goes to pay strangers to raise him or her? As a person who has never needed or asked for much (especially in terms of unnecessary material goods) I just don’t understand it-nor do I want to try to, anymore.

I JUST WANT TRADITIONAL FAMILIES TO COME BACK. Sure, they might not be like the 1950s, but the incorporation of modern day things with previous values is the life that I want-not only for myself, but for the betterment and preservation of the family unit and its vital role in a sustainable, healthy society. At the very, very least, “women’s rights” should extend a notion of same-level respect to a woman’s choice to stay home, so the CHOICE is not shunned and frowned upon. She should not be made to feel like an ostracized sinner because that is what she knows in her heart will make herself and her family happy. Today, we have a way of making this woman feel as though she should not breathe the same air, or call herself a human being, and to me, it says our society has become an unaccepting, close-minded, judgmental and nasty people. And, the most concerning part is that it’s only getting more horrifying by the year. Top that off with the fact that it seems even more acceptable, and almost “cute” when Dad stays at home with kids these days.

Unless the male is a complete homosexual, I do not believe that this is a step in the right direction based on the natural order defined by God. I do not find it progressive, nor “cool,” or “hip with the times.” Quite the contrary-I find it next to repulsive that most women now find the majority of their identification in their workplace, rather than their home.

My statement on the traditional family order collaborates with my spirituality, unnatural experiences, common sense, and the warmth I experienced from the mother of my first boyfriend who stayed at home full-time. She was adored by her kids and her hard-working husband. At the time, I didn’t understand it to the full depths that I do now. Not only are men more physically capable than woman by nature; God gave them the strength and power to sacrifice themselves for the women and children they love, but they have not been doing so.

I can imagine this is the fault of both sexes: The men, because they are not stepping up and demanding to manage their family’s finances so that women can be with their children-and the women, because, for some reason they have been insisting for too many years on having an upper hand, or refusing a man’s offer to take care of her. Which, unfortunately means that they are sitting in positions that more men should be occupying. Don’t get me wrong: If there are women out there that want a career to be her life and don’t want marriage or kids, then by all means, they should have every access to education and a promising career. But, I find the balancing act of trying to “have it all,” completely unreasonable, unrealistic, unnecessary, and damaging to relationships, in the end.

Additionally, a man wanting to take care of a woman is sometimes even seen as some kind of threat to her “independence,” that powerful, hypnotic word that gets throw around all too often today. In reality, that woman with so much financial independence might just be the one managing the office and acting in the immature and inappropriate manner that I have experienced. She is, what I like to call, the “woman-child.” She could be the type that I describe; hungry for power and control over others, while conveniently having them fooled (or threatened) by title, and status. Also, costing the company time and money that an organization cannot recover. But, as the saying goes: Misery loves company.

Furthermore, I cannot force myself, nor pretend to have a sense of pride, when seeing women in police and army uniforms. According to modern society, I am supposed to feel that we are “making progressive strides” when seeing women in masculine fields. It is, in my opinion, insulting to all of the beauty and feministic traits that Our Father has bestowed upon the female form. Contrary to popular belief, a woman does not need to fend for herself financially and physically just to be seen as a heroine and a person of worth. All she needs to do is be kind and nurturing to all of her family, and people around her.

Perhaps some would blindly consider women in the equation when they hear the statement: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is when good men do nothing.” I would put that on men to bring back romance, joy, and peace into the American family. Men are capable of doing this, and together we can stop living like the walking dead, and learn to feel the emotions as men and women were granted to share with each other again.

This right to desire a man to be our provider, is what I will argue in favor of for the rest of my life. Sure, people will accuse me of wanting to be lazy, of not doing my “equal” part, and of not having any ambitions. I will refuse to let their comments make me feel like a second-class citizen. I have experienced too much negativity, hostility and constraint in financial environments, and so it has nothing to do with “not having any ambition” and no real work goals, but rather a strong desire to live a peaceful existence.

As far as the “equality” comment goes: How is it ever going to be equal when a mother has to work outside of the home, take care of kids, and do most of the housework? That’s not equality; that’s insanity, pure and simple. I cannot imagine the marital strain when feelings of resentment from either side begin to develop for having to do more, or being too tired and worn for intimacy. Then, we Americans wonder why the cheating and the divorce rate have become such a common, familiar problem. At a slow and treacherous pace, feminism has been destroying many meaningful relationships. Perhaps not the original or current intent of the movement as a whole….but an inconvenient truth, nonetheless.

In conclusion, I know for my own life, what I want. The worth of a good woman obeying (WHILE being treated like a first-class citizen) a wonderful man so that he can protect her and the children, if they decide on them, is worth more than any amount of money that exists on this green Earth. As strange as it may sound to some, it is the order in which there will be the most communication and harmony together in the sexes. While no system will ever be perfect, a more patriarchal approach to family life and satisfaction, is crucial. That is what I am certain of, now. Men need to start acting more like providers, and women have to start setting aside their inbred fears of the opposite sex.

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Advice for Men on Traditional Values

We all know that it can be hard for women who have traditional values, but what about the men of society who believe in it as well?
As a traditional woman, I speak to many men who by their actions appear to favour traditional roles, but feel imprisoned by political correctness. Many feel that they have to say that they support feminism because they are made to feel that they are compromising women’s rights otherwise. This is not true. In fact, feminism makes women, children and men alike unhappy. It makes society dysfunctional, it has ruined the economy and abolished the family wage, it has stopped people from being able to speak up, it has brainwashed a large portion of society. Feminism sadly is everywhere.

I have some advice that might be helpful to men. Men are the heads of our society, and have been denied their full potential and the power and freedom to express their full masculinity in recent times. Women, men and children will benefit from it if men start standing up again and taking on their masculine roles.

*Remember that you are the man.

Don’t allow feminism to walk all over you. Appear confident and strong and don’t be afraid to show you have pride and are the boss and leader in any given situation. Contrary to popular belief, this does not mean that men are arrogant, or pig-headed. There is nothing at all wrong in getting a little macho. Women subconsciously find this very attractive in a man. It’s wired into our natural instincts to appreciate a macho man.

*Ignore any advice that tells you to be a jerk and how being macho is not necessarily the same thing

You have probably heard it all before, women love ‘bad boys’ and ‘jerks’. This could not be further from the truth. Being a macho man does not always constitute to being a jerk. A macho man is one who is noble and proud in his responsibility as a male. He is a man who can stand up and lay down the law and take charge of a situation. He’s the man who offers to carry a woman’s heavy bags, he’s the man who stays faithful to his wife, he’s the man with good virtue, he’s the man who opens doors, he’s the man who offers his seat on the bus, he’s the man who keeps his cool composure and sticks to good morals, he’s the man who defends his loved ones, he’s the man with absolute authourity over his wife and children, he’s the man who does his best to provide for his family and stand up for the weak. Please do not confuse good virtue with being a ‘pushover’. Pushovers are men who allow themselves to get bitter, and don’t speak up for themselves in a way in which benefits society or themselves.
Treat every woman like you would want your daughter, mother, sister or grandma to be treated. Be the man you want every other man or boy to be.

*Be the better example

So a woman who holds feminist views got mad because you tell her your opinion, or open a door for her? You might feel somehow like it’s been thrown back in your face, you might feel offended and defeated. Take a step back and be the better example. Don’t stop opening doors or offering seats to women. Don’t stop politely expressing your views or your acts of chivalry. If some get offended, that’s because feminism has society brainwashed. Be the better example, kill them with virtue and keep your cool composure. A good woman who knows the truth WILL appreciate this and you will feel more in control if you do not allow yourself to go down to a feminist’s level of getting bitter and thinking ‘what the hell’. There is nothing healthier for a man’s ego and self esteem than feeling secure and in control, and feeling like he’s the leader and teacher who gives a better example. Assert yourself. Who do we look to for higher power? authourity and leadership, the better example. The more men who stop believing in traditional gender roles and stop chivalry and stop asserting themselves the more society will go downhill. As a man this is in your hands. Do not let women take over the authouritive role. See badly behaved women almost like you would see a naughty child, don’t see them as equal. When you start seeing them as equal you start seeing them as other men. This is very damaging for society and damaging to everything that keeps it stable and structured. When men start seeing women as equals and women stop looking to men as the patriarchy this is when problems really start to go down.

*Lay down the law with your wife or partner and be in charge of big decisions

Let women know that you will not stand for things that you don’t approve of. Make sure you give logical/noble/fair reasons for this and here are some examples:

“I don’t want you wearing that outfit out without me there, it shows too much skin, and I worry about your personal safety and how you might get treated. I will not have you leave the house with next to nothing on”
“I will not allow you to spend this much money or buy this item now. We need to budget for household essentials but we can find an alternative, or perhaps save”
“I will not allow you to talk to this other man or hang out with these friends. I don’t trust this person/people and think that they could possibly lead you into trouble. You are not to go there with them or do that, because I want what is best for you and that’s final”
“I will not allow you to go there or do that, because I worry about your safety, I don’t think it’s right for you to go there or do that because of this reason and my decision is final”.
This is very different from being abusive, or truly controlling. You are protecting your wife/partner, looking out for any children and laying down the law as king of his castle. Even if some women might try and rebel at first because this seems unusual in western culture today, we subconsciously prefer a man to be domineering in a masculine, fair and noble way.
Don’t be afraid to confiscate harmful things, or stand in the way of doors, or use gentle physical restraint if your wife/partner is doing something to disobey you.
Hitting, nasty name calling, or using any more physical restraint than necessary on a woman is out of bounds. You are the boss, bosses should not behave like this. (see be the better example).
Never be afraid to discuss with your wife if something she does personally upsets you. However, use your senses to define what is reasonable and unreasonable. For example, not allowing your wife to dye her hair because it makes you feel jealous that she looks good is not fair, or reasonable. Not allowing your wife to wear any make-up, trying to alter your wife’s appearance for vanity reasons, trying to get your wife to do sex acts that she feels uncomfortable with, spending your household budget unwisely so that your household goes without essentials, These examples are not the practise of a good leader. If your wife is flirting with other men, using pornography or sex toys you do not approve of, listening to vulgar music, drinking, or smoking, is rude or is watching TV shows that you deem as seriously not suitable, or your wife is allowing the house to overflow and get dirty, or treats the children unreasonably you have a right to lay down the law. Yes your feelings need to be considered, but not above fairness and reason. Women and children respect and obey a man who can remain firm but fair. Your wife and children should not obey you out of fear, but out of respect as the main authourity.

*Be a good role model

Never allow your children to see you doing anything that you wouldn’t want them to become. A wife that respects and values her Husband’s authourity is also a good example to children (see above).
You have a right to keep your daughter from dating boys that you do not deem suitable. However, be fair with this. Do not abuse this responsibility. If he treats her well, and genuinely loves her and wants to look after her, give them your blessing but watch over her at the same time. If she brings a rude, abusive thug home who you can tell makes her feel afraid take her aside and talk to her and lay down the law. A guy being currently unemployed, socially awkward around you, or a little scruffy does not mean that he’s necessarily a bad guy but do make it clear of your expectations. Make sure you are fair and realistic. Don’t expect a socially deprived working class boy to suddenly become a lawyer overnight. Try and befriend your daughter’s suitors if possible so that you get to know them, there is no other surefire way of getting to know if someone is a good person. Spend male quality time. You might even be the positive influence that this boy needs to be the best match for your daughter.
Teach your son the value of respect, be the man you want him to be. He will follow your example.
Be the type of man you want your daughter to marry and make sure your wife is a good example to your children. The way that you treat your child’s Mother and whether or not she respects you will shape children’s relationships when they are adults. Think what is best for them at all times before you act.
You also need to lay down the law. As I said before. You make the rules, make sure that your children obey them as does your wife. Use reasonable punishments and set curfews. Never use draconian measures that make your family feel afraid of you. Use measures that make them understand that they can’t get away with misbehaviour and that you are boss and you know best.
If your wife is treating the children in a manner that you deem unreasonable, step in and discipline her. Do not aim to create loud arguments, no family is perfect, but try and be placating and use reasonable physical restraint (see above) if needs be.

*Summary
Never resent or become bitter about your responsibilities like society might sometimes tell you to. You are your own best judge. Your responsibilities are noble, and help keep society functioning and families intact. You are the pillar, creator and head of society. That is something to be proud of and something to inspire you and to work on. Society is a mess today, and things like no fault divorce do exist. Sadly men do not have the legal control that they used to have, but we still need to make the best out of a bad situation. Do not let life and the terrible outcome of feminism and women’s lib bring you down to the lowest possible place. You are better than that, and you can be. The only power you need is believing in yourself and don’t lose all faith in humanity. Whenever there is a will there is a way.

Sarah.

 

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