Category Archives: Current Events

They Do it for You 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately. A lot of these thoughts were prompted partially by a couple of male commenters on my articles Rough & Soft and my latest post You Give Yourself Away Too Easily. The focus of the comments and thoughts are about issues such as emotional abuse and assholish behavior from men. I think something that is often overlooked is that most men are acting this way because they don’t believe that women will like them otherwise. Even among the manosphere and MRA types (you know those hotshots, the ones who don’t “worship p****” and are just men doing their own thing and going their own way and being “real men” who don’t need the approval of women) the teachings of “game” are still primarily centered on altering their behavior to do whatever they think will win over the woman and allow them to have sex with her. In the end, they’re still doing it all for women. So, if this is true, then it must also be correspondingly true that modern women are basically saying to men “hey, if you just become a narcissistic, abusive, selfish, manipulative bastard who treats me like complete shit- I’ll reward you with sex!” Couple this with a “hook-up culture” and numerous problems ensue as a result. As I said a long time ago: “But by the circumstances under which we give sex to our men, we teach them how they are to treat us.”

If we look at the popularity of BDSM and the like in our society there must be a great deal of truth to this. I’ve noticed something a lot when I watch older movies. The men act differently than they do today in our culture of extended adolescence. They naturally have more of an aura of confidence and masculinity about them. There is something more naturally attractive to them. While they might still display some cocky or asshole behavior at times to an extent, they don’t actually have to be assholes to attract women. Fast forward to the modern age and everything is completely backwards. Women are displacing men in traditional male fields, out-earning men, competing with men, graduating in greater numbers from college than men and displacing men also in positions of authority both inside and outside of the home. A lot of men even answer to women and have female bosses in authority over them. Modern-day “gender equality” has completely turned male-female relationships upside down (even to the extent that many are confused about which gender they even belong to these days.) Therefore perhaps the only route available for men is to become sadistic and act like jerks. Then women respond by being, supposedly, attracted to it.

The reality of life is that women don’t really take an interest in men who they perceive to be of lesser status than them and in modern-day society it is probably a lot easier for the man to just degrade the woman’s status than it would be to upgrade his own. This is probably the most true among younger men in their teenage years and early twenties, but isn’t limited to that age group by any means. On my last post The Sinner Saint Diary commented:

“A lot of behaviors like this can be seen in young men – things that are hurtful – probably way more so than the young man realizes. Most of the same behaviors can be seen in grown men who are narcissists or who posses some kind of “emotionally abusive” personality.

Young men who want much physical interaction with girls – like I did and many do – must learn methods of persuasion – most of which are psychological. Most of the factors that endure an adult woman to adult man, aren’t in play yet – boys don’t posses them and girls aren’t compelled by them.

Learning how to score affection from girls, good or bad, is so embedded into the cultural and natural conditions of adolescence, that boys acquire a lot of manipulative behavior without realizing it – or, without recognizing it as abuse. There are probably numerous behaviors that are essentially involuntary, that young men have adopted in order to increase his chances of physical engagement. And, to be fair, there are a lot of tactics young men will use to score girls that are very deliberate, but their sex drive far outweighs the empathy they feel – which is probably little to none.

Whatever hurtful, insensitive and callous behaviors a young man engages in before the maturity of his emotions catches up to his hormones, hopefully he will grow out of them. I know I am ashamed of some of the ways I behaved when I was young, and would have behaved much differently had I possessed even a fraction of the emotional awareness and empathy that I eventually learned as I matured.”

I’ve also seen a lot of men talking about how women supposedly “punish” them for being their true selves. In other words, they would like to be good to women, but supposedly women don’t like them when they are (or, women don’t want to have casual sex with them when they are anyways). This makes a lot of sense when you consider that the majority of modern day women are independent. Women naturally want dominant men but since they do everything for themselves these days they instead turn to unhealthy habits such as Sadomasochism and go chasing after assholes, supposedly because they’re the only ones superior to them that might actually “put them in their place.” Of course, none of these relationships last and it leaves both sexes broken down internally and dissatisfied and distrustful of each other. Even still, among those attempting to be “players” and adopting whatever behavior they think might actually get them laid, you can still hear the men complaining that they can’t find “quality women” who would love them for who they are, much the same as you see how women complain about men who are jerks and won’t commit and how there aren’t any “good men” out there.

Are we not our own worst enemies? Do we not bring these problems onto ourselves by rejecting the natural order of life? We fail to cultivate healthy masculinity and healthy femininity and have any sexual regulation in our society so instead we engage in unhealthy behaviors and have constant failed relationships. In this Women’s Health article, A Former A**hole Answers for His Bad Behavior, a man talks about how he learned at a young age that just ceasing to give a damn and play “hard to get” led to his “success” with women (“success” being defined as short-term flings basically). He learned it when he realized that not caring anymore landed him his crush (she finally noticed he existed when he stopped caring). Yet he goes on to say it didn’t last and also that being a complete apathetic a**hole only led him to have success in the short-term with women who soon lost interest when he started being himself and, while he did sleep with a lot of women without commitment, he never formed any kind of lasting relationship and learned in the end that “anybody that doesn’t want you when you’re acting like your true self is not somebody you need to waste your time or affection on.” He now laments that Karma isn’t quite done with him yet and that maybe if he wasn’t such an asshole he might have been married or had kids by now.

Of course, aloofness is best in the beginning for men to attract women (while women “playing nice” is generally fine) but it won’t last long-term. In keeping with my last post, it takes time for true love to develop and rushing into things does lead to these failed relationships and leads to women getting hurt and used by men and men never getting to be their “true selves” and probably ending up alone in the end as well. Infatuation and burning desire are things that come and go, and are sometimes short-lived, you cannot base a real relationship off of such fleeting things and not only is it psychologically devastating for women for men to keep playing games but also it must be exhausting for a man if he must play games and hide his true self just to keep her interested. As I stated in my last post, when you truly love someone, you love them for themselves and that’s the only thing that “works” in the long run.

Women Are Not The Enemy 

How many times do I have to say it? 

Women have only ever lived in civilizations that men created, under laws that men legislated.

Women are products of the world that men created. 

How dare you men blame and hate us when you created the laws we live by and built this society!? I like how proud men are of having built this civilization. We did it!..until we have to take responsibility for it. 

Women were busy nurturing you and your young while you legislated all the supposed “anti-male” laws and put all this into action. Then men legislated away women’s security in the home and now you have the nerve to complain about the broken homes. 

Women only have as many rights and freedoms as their men allow. If you men don’t like it then stop whining like overgrown children and change it. Men are more powerful physically, psychically, politically and socially. Women can only do what their men allow them to and that’s all there is to it. 

Or maybe getting a free ride off the backs of women while complaining about your supposed miserable lot in life is more fun. Oops, I forgot, most women are just a bunch of promiscuous sl*ts looking for a welfare handout (because we all know men are the only ones who pay taxes or provide for their families…and men never receive welfare of course…) 

Women are not your enemies, they are your responsibility and most are on your side anyways. Stop whining and hating. 

Yet Another Reason Why MRAs Are Full of S***

http://www.forbes.com/sites/emmajohnson/2014/10/27/are-you-a-stay-at-home-mom-facing-divorce-dont-expect-alimony/

A fan of mine (a MAN as yes there are actually traditionalist men left) just sent this article to me and it made me very sad (he expressed the same opinion as well). For centuries women could count on lifetime financial support (unless they were unfaithful) and the primary aspect of marriage was men providing for their wives and women caring for their home and children (if there were any but childless women were still provided for regardless) and now it’s regressed to such a point because of feminism that women at home are looked at as lazy bums who just won’t “get a job.” It’s been bad for a while but unfortunately is getting worse. This is also yet more evidence that MRAs are full of BS and make outlandish claims about courts favoring women that can’t be backed up by a shred of evidence. Sure, you know someone who knows someone who… Yeah, OK. As NYMOM said in one of her posts a few years back “a man has a better chance of getting struck by LIGHTNING than ever paying a dime of alimony.” Almost all married women are either co-providers or primary providers and how is it “divorce theft” when she’s been paying the bills, birthing the kids and paying for the home, car, food, etc..??? She paid for it yet it’s not her stuff too? Get real. Men aren’t victims and the courts aren’t stacked against them because of feminism. Not only are most men not paying any support, how many are ******* RECEIVING it (which, in my opinion, is beyond absurd)? NEWS FLASH if your wife has a job and is paying the bills then she is providing for YOU- at least partially. So, no, men aren’t providing for women. You aren’t being providers so stop acting like victims and like women are the enemy because neither of those things is true. Women are providing for themselves, their children AND for men- which is why marriage is seen as obsolete today. This is what feminists have ALWAYS wanted- the complete eradication of the provider ethic so women will be forced to have careers and be forced out of the home despite the desire to stay home, as Graglia explained so well in her book “Domestic Tranquility.” But women CAN change this and the primary way is to use man’s sexual need. No financial support, no marriage, no p****.

Could MRAism Ever be OK?

Generally I have always been opposed to MRAs. The reason is simple; most MRAs I’ve ever seen have been about nothing more than woman-bashing and denying male responsibility. Worse, there are many who want men to have patriarchal authority but none of the patriarchal responsibilities- the biggest thing being that they want control over women and children without the responsibility to provide for and protect women and children. Many advocate for a society with women being submissive and feminine and husbands and fathers being in control of children and women’s reproduction yet where wives and mothers, as well as women in general, are required to work and support themselves as well as their offspring.

That to me has always been an unsaleable proposition. As the old saying goes “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” I hate feminism, EVERY single wave of it, and am against the whole “gender equality” dogma but when it comes down to it I would rather give my support to the feminists than pro-equality MRAs who want to have their cake and eat it too.

However, times change and so do social movements. Just look at the different “waves” of feminism. Therefore could it ever be possible for me to be accepting of MRAs? Could it be possible that it could ever be a movement I would accept?

There is a new post by Jesse Powell over at Secular Patriarchy. In the post, titled “Rethinking the Manosphere and MRAs,” Powell argues that maybe MRAs might turn out to be pro-patriarchy in the end after all; that instead of being 4th-wave feminists it might be, in actuality, the beginning of several social movements and ideologies to re-establish patriarchy- true patriarchy- in society.

The thing I find most interesting about it all is that the primary driving force for MGTOWS and MRAs accepting patriarchal values and traditional male responsibilities seems to be sex and romantic involvement with women. The psychological theory is that men do everything they do for sex. After all men will create and build up civilization to get sex (if that’s what it takes) or they’ll become parasites living off their girlfriends if that’s all it takes. It’s kind of interesting that even the most hard-core embittered MGTOW will apparently even step up and embrace true patriarchal responsibility for women if it’ll finally get him laid.

That being said I don’t think I could ever support the movement unless it got a different name. Also, it is still only a minority who are embracing traditional manhood and gender roles. MRAs have many good points but their reasoning is flawed and everything always turns into “I’m a victim of this, that and the other.” Their “movement” to me is more like a religion where one has to believe in certain basic tenents of victimhood regardless of whether or not there is any evidence to support it.

To me whining and complaining about how victimized one is is completely pointless. What matters is finding any injustices and working to change things for the better not sitting around with a “poor me” attitude and whining about how you hate the opposite sex and the entire world along with them. I truly hope Mr. Powell is right in his observations about MRAs but at this point it is simply too early to lend support to such an ideology as “men’s rights” or any associated movement. If the time comes where the movement as a whole has gender roles and traditional patriarchal values as its first and foremost goal then I will get behind it. But things are crazy right now in society and their movement is very schizophrenic.

That being said I’ve linked to a few MRA articles in my day and I’ve talked to a couple of others who believe there is a split coming soon in the movement. I truly hope that is so. Until then, I will still shy away from MRAs because I see them ultimately as abusers of women who have no love nor compassion for women. I still see them as, ultimately, men who wish to take advantage of women and exploit women especially where they are most vulnerable. I see them as putting the women down who don’t want to have to go out and work and because they want to be taken care of by a man and care for their own children. I still see them as the men who complain about women and don’t want to take care of women. I still see them as abusive, exploitative and selfish. I still see them as men like my father, who talk highly of the old days of patriarchy and where the father was head of household but then want to turn around like “you owe me support, bitch” and have a constant run of girlfriends who they wish to control yet the women all are financially independent and work everyday. That is still how I think of MRAs. And maybe it’s that they don’t understand how things should be or what to do about the current mess. I know I always felt something was wrong but never knew exactly what or how things could be different or how to make it better before I discovered the truth of history and men’s duties in patriarchal society that feminism did away with (and that the MSM goes to extraordinary lengths to cover up).

But I would like to believe it could change and that maybe out of all the destruction a movement will arise with men taking charge again and accepting responsibility to be the guardians, providers and protectors of women and children.

Something That Really Gets Me

http://dastardlydads.blogspot.com/2015/07/dad-charged-with-murder-in-death-of-1.html?m=0

I don’t know anything about this particular case above (one of the many out there) but it’s things like this that really get to me in our society. Family breakdown that invites trouble, abuse and heartbreak but also that somehow women are supposed to be held responsible for the actions and welfare of men. The laws subject men and women to “equal treatment” based upon nothing more than a political ideology yet men and women are not similarly situated in many scenarios in this life. The fact is that women don’t have the power to control the actions of men. Even if a man is doing something abusive a woman simply doesn’t have the strength to stop him, unless she puts a gun to his head or something. But if she does that she’ll go to jail for attempted murder or threatening his life or something (in many jurisdictions even if she was legitimately protecting herself she’ll still be prosecuted). A woman might do all she can to stop an abusive man, but oftentimes her efforts are simply ineffective as men are generally strong enough to simply wave aside a woman’s attempts to physically control them and men can easily hold women immobile at their own whim, usually with their bare hands. No need to resort to threatening with weapons or doing serious harm; if a man wants to subject a woman to his will he generally can.

On the other hand when mother is abusive fathers are rarely charged. I mean, how many times have I heard of some father getting full or partial custody then dumping the kids off with his mother or new wife or some other female? When these women abuse the kids the father gets off scot-free, even though as a man he could control the situation as well as be in authority over the women. Mothers are charged for the abusive actions of fathers and other men even when they are not home when the abuse happened (oftentimes because they are the breadwinners working to support the family these days) yet fathers are not charged for abusive behavior that happens when the children are in the mother’s or some other female’s care. I can’t think of hardly one circumstance where I’ve seen men being held responsible for the actions of women yet somehow women are held responsible for the actions men, even though a woman cannot stop a man from doing whatever he’s intent upon doing. Fathers generally get more rights when mothers are abusive (he can leave mother and child on their own then waltz in to claim his rights the second she does something wrong) yet when fathers are abusive either nobody believes the mother or she is charged with a crime for not stopping his abusive behavior and oftentimes loses her children.

Yet somehow the myth still persists that mothers are given preferential treatment and daddies are pathetic victims who have no rights, even though it’s becoming increasingly common for men to be granted even full custody of children that are several months or even years old even when they’ve never even so much as seen the children before, never supported either them or the mother, never had a real relationship with the mother and have never been involved at all. Also tell me, if the courts outrageously favor women then why would women have to lie in the first place? If they were favored then they should just be able to waltz right in the courtroom and get whatever they want.

That being said I think there is too much paranoia about abuse in our society and it is often used as a weapon against parents (not just coming from the “other” parent but from outsiders like grandparents, step parents, etc as well) to control them and get their way. Something has got to change. Abuse will always be a problem and it always has been but with all the breakdown of families today the problems are just getting worse and fighting will continue because there are so many laws (only existing in the past 30-40 years) that encourage fighting and warring in families (or what passes for “family” these days) and it has just gotten so insane. Things cannot continue like this forever. Men are supposed to be the ones in charge and are supposed to be the one protecting women and children (and working to support them), especially from other men who would abuse them. Men and women cannot trust each other today and for very good reason. It doesn’t sound like a very healthy society to me where men and women fight and distrust each other and relationships between men and women today are very unhealthy. Maybe we should stop and ask why it has become this way and when, exactly, it started to get so bad. The answer should be obvious.