I think it is one of the saddest things, that at Christmas dinner I noticed my cousin was starting to act like a royal jackass to me and the other women in the family. It was completely unprecedented and I had to wonder what on earth was going on with him. This is the cousin that I grew up with, the same fun-loving one that used to laugh and joke and generally have a good time with everyone.
He got married a few years back and they have a daughter (I think she’s about 3) together. But I also know that my cousin has never been the primary breadwinner for his family and I’ve seen what has amounted to him acting very un-masculine in many respects, even going so far as to engage in lots of “baby-talk” and the like with others around him, signifying that he’s been engaging in a lot of primary child-care work. He also looked pretty uncomfortable whenever his wife mentioned to my husband that she was working two jobs there for a while to take care of them, which made me wonder if there was something more going on with him, like perhaps some underlying feeling of emasculation or inferiority, and then, given a couple of comments that I overheard with him saying that “everything has to be PC these days” I had to wonder in all seriousness if he’d begun to frequent manosphere or red-pill blogs. I have no way of knowing if he does (or has) for sure, of course.
The thing is that his wife is a wonderful woman and my cousin is a great guy. As far as I know, he’s never had any legal trouble and hasn’t ever done any drugs or really consumed alcohol hardly at all, and in his younger years he’d always frequent the gym and stay in good shape and everything. But I noticed too that there was this subtle antagonism between him and his wife, an antagonism that I’ve never seen before, like she was keeping him at arm’s length. In fact, over the years they’ve always been so close; always talking about their future together and hoping they’d last a lifetime the way our grandparents did. Though it’s not my business or anybody’s else’s (for the most part) about what is or isn’t happening in their relationship, it’s also true that sometimes those on the outside can see things that those on the inside, in the midst of the drama, cannot. And I saw things I had never seen before.
Though I’ve never cried before over my grandfather’s passing (he wouldn’t want me or anybody else to) I did cry for a while whenever I got home, thinking what he might have said had he still been alive today and had been there.
My grandfather was a product of a generation of men who knew what it meant to be honorable and chivalrous towards women and those weaker than themselves, and knew what it took to have a marriage that lasted a lifetime and knew the meaning and value of hard work. They weren’t “weak,” they weren’t “beta,” they were real men in a world where everyone knew their place and what was expected of them.
There were times when him and my grandmother were still raising their children that he would work at the factory for 12 hours a day, oftentimes 7 days a week. He was also a WWII veteran who went to war straight out of high-school, never complaining or whining that women weren’t drafted, whenever his country called him to. My grandfather also worked for a long time as an electrician, and they resided in various locations around the country, primarily in California, Texas, Arkansas and Illinois. My grandmother was telling me about it once how you would just get used to the routine of getting up where she’d fix his breakfast and lunch and then he’d come home, and they’d go to sleep, only to get up and do it all over again the next day. Contrast that life to the life now where we have nothing but a generation of complainers and men that won’t grow up and have no sense of any ethical duty that they owe towards women.
But it’s not all the men’s fault. The fact of the matter is that most men, I believe, would rather take care of women. I’ve had men e-mail me and leave comments on the site saying even how they’d love to have lasting relationships, be chivalrous and take care of women, but that they have no success with women when they do so. Some have even commented that, from what they see, women want nothing more than men who are jerks.
It has to be understood that men out there in the manosphere or red-pill blogs aren’t out there promoting their ideals or adapting their behaviors unilaterally according to their own selfish desires, but rather they are responding to what they believe that women want.
Have you ever considered why, as policy, that men made more money than women? That only men were allowed to vote? That men were considered heads-of household? That men primarily have always held positions higher up in companies and political office? The one thing that society refuses to consider is that this was the cultural and legal way because women wanted it that way.
Women want their men to be strong and dominant and in a world where women are outpacing men in all areas of life (academically, politically, economically, socially) the game changes to be one of men becoming sadists, jerks, and assholes in order to please their women or have any romantic success with them. Most men, from what it seems (I’m not a man so correct me if I’m truly wrong here, I’m just going by observation and what I’ve been able to research) don’t really want to be jerks, engage in BDSM or any of those things. It’s actually women who want those things. Consider that the Fifty-Shades culture was promoted primarily by women, not men.
If women are superior to their men naturally in everyday life or “equal” to them, then the only thing left is for men to degrade women. But the reality is that nobody is truly happy that way. Game-playing doesn’t last. Sooner or later the mask is going to slip off and then the truth emerges. Are you genuine or has it all been a put-on show?
Men of the past didn’t have to degrade their women because everybody (men, women and children) “knew their place” and everybody had their own roles to play. Men could be chivalrous and not turn women off because women were still largely dependent on men. I depend upon my husband to protect me and provide for all my needs. It’s the way that I bond with him- truly, really, deeply. He doesn’t have to play games, though he does have to be masculine. He doesn’t have to degrade me because I’m already weaker than him and dependent on him. I rejected independence and paid employment primarily because I didn’t want to create that separation. I wanted to rely on him as bigger and stronger than me so I didn’t have to think about the outside world and could just hold onto him and let him lead me. It allows him to be dominant in a non-abusive and non-degrading way that is beneficial instead of harmful and counterproductive and I don’t have to feel bad afterward but rather happy and content.
After we were first married he tried to degrade me and call me names one time during sex and I started crying, yelling at him and telling him to get off of me and not to touch me. I didn’t like it. I wanted to feel safe and protected in the arms of a strong man that I depended on, not degraded. Guess what? He never did it again. But we were both young, and he was probably only doing it because he’d heard it passed around that “women like jerks” and erroneously thought it would turn me on. Once he discovered it wouldn’t work, he stopped doing it.
And women need to understand this. Men are generally clueless about women anyway and what women want but it’s made all the worse when feminist-minded women are the only ones given the spotlight in the media, speaking about what “all” women supposedly want. It’s a very confusing thing for both sexes because nobody knows how to act or what is expected of them.
This is where women have to be assertive and make it known to their men what they really want. If you’re into a guy but he’s acting like a jerk then you need to let him know that you don’t like it and that you aren’t going to consider taking things further with him unless he gives you the respect and consideration you deserve and require. This doesn’t mean being dominant. It’s not asserting power over men for women to tell men what they want and what they need or demand respect. It is essential.
If the modern woman continues to demand that men put on the clown suit and play that role, then men will do it. However, for all the women out there (and the ones that contact me too who are traditional ladies) who want tradition, you need to speak up. Let your voice be heard that feminists don’t speak for you and also that men engaging in games that the red-pill teaches is not acceptable behavior. Tell the men in your life that you want them to be more traditional, chivalrous and they will oblige. Who cares what others think? The ones who put you down have probably already destroyed their lives and failed in their relationships and want to drag you down to their level to feel better about themselves and raise their own value. We are the products of a generation of men and women who taught their sons and daughters how to fail in life– plain and simple. Our parents are all divorced and a product of a largely spoiled generation that refused to ever grow up. Their only legacy- unlike the legacy of my grandfather’s generation and the generations that came before- is one of devastation and destruction.
Men and women don’t trust each other- and for good reason. Things weren’t even this bad whenever I was growing up (and that was only a short time ago). I don’t think men really want to treat women bad, they just feel that they don’t have any other choice. Consider the culture around us and where it’s heading. It’s plain awful. But men are only adapting according to women’s preferences (no matter how much they insist otherwise). In a world where women depend upon men to provide for them and take care of them, men don’t have to be jerks because they already have an important part to play in society and are in the dominant position because women need them. Society today says women don’t- and shouldn’t- need men.
I don’t like it when my husband acts weak or soft and I’ve told him so. There are times when he can get away with it but, especially if things are bad in the relationship, he’s going to have to step up and act more dominant than he might normally act. There are times when a man has to be more serious and put aside foolishness in accordance with the needs of his woman and his family. But that doesn’t mean playing games. Game playing doesn’t work in the long-term. Any man can be a jerk and get a woman’s attention short-term, just the same as any woman can flaunt herself in front of a man and get his attention in the short-term- but it doesn’t last. Men have just as much of a need to bond as what women do (more, perhaps), whether or not they will admit it (would you seriously like it if they did admit just how vulnerable they are to needing a woman? Probably not. As a woman you just want to instinctively know and feel that it’s true) and history can teach to us what works and doesn’t work. Isn’t that why we study it?
A civilization where women are dominant over men and men do nothing more than play games is simply not practical and in the end nobody wants such a thing and everybody is miserable. Plain and simple. So, as we head into 2018, I think it’s time for society to make a change and time for traditionalist men and women to finally have our voices heard. And trust me, I think that day is finally coming. I might have been a lone freak 5 or 6 years ago promoting traditional gender roles and modesty (which is at the heart of a woman’s happiness and even sexual pleasure), but not now.