Passion II: Fantasy

“I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me…

My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him…

I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer…” (Song of Solomon 5:2;4;6, KJV)

Last night I had the sweetest dream
I dreamt that he came to me
And he filled me so completely
He was exactly as I imagined he would be

I woke up still in a daze, eyes glazed
It all felt so real

For years he knows he’s captivated my thoughts
Passionate feelings of both love and hate

Delicate beauty in the flower of youth compared to the lines upon his face
Memories that time will never erase

Once upon a time it’s true that he took care of me
But he’s not the same person that he used to be

He can never be all I imagine him to be
No more, no less, he is but a fantasy

“He leaned forward slightly and a dark face took form from the shadows, a form as beautiful as Orignial Sin must have seemed to Eve, with all its lure and its pain. As eyes the smoky green of storm seas caught hers and held, a phrase from Milton’s Paradise Lost whispered through her mind:

‘His form had yet not lost
All his original brightness, nor appeared
Less than Archangel ruined…'”(Monson, Stormfire, 1984)

He does nothing but play games with my heart
He can never see fit to make me a part of his life
Compared to one who would make me his wife

I’m floating like I barely exist
I imagine his touch and I burn with desire
But I look into his eyes and I know he’s a liar

He’s become a temptation, but I will resist
Not so hard to do when half the time he pretends like I don’t exist

Got this petite 110-pound frame;
Half woman, half child, with this .68 WHR
Any man would want it
But I’ll be neither used nor abused

I’ll never be any man’s mistake
Nor will I give myself away to a man who in the long-term won’t stay

I’ll never come to him
But instead stay with what’s true and real

What happens when the fires burn out?
One offers me security and love
The other nothing but heartbreak and doubt

He says to me “come” but I never will
Because he’s just a fantasy
And that’s all he’ll ever be

Fine wine sweetens my tongue and blurs my mind
I only wish that time I could rewind

Inside there’s strong emotion tied to aching need
But I’ll never let him get away with breaking me in two
Then proceeding to tell me how he’s through

I will say no
To him I’ll never go

I know he thinks he’s going to win
But I’ll never open up and let him in

I’ll put a wall up that he’ll never get past
No matter how long these feelings might last

Though he may forever haunt my memory
He’s a fantasy- and that’s all he’ll ever be


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