Letter to My Daughter

Dearest Daughter,

In the coming years many changes are going to happen in your life and in your body. There may come a time when you even wish to have children of your own, although I honestly believe you’d be happier if you didn’t. As my mother always told me, it’s a decision you can’t undo and once you’ve done it you’ve given away your life to someone else and tied yourself down to someone for a lifetime that you may well come to resent. Once you have even one your life is gone and will never be the same. Without children your life is yours and if you become too unhappy and the situation too unbearable you can always just walk away and be responsible for none other than yourself and have no complications. And if you do decide to have them, make sure the man is reliable and committed to supporting you and that he is someone you truly wish to tie yourself down with for a lifetime. 

Never give sex to a man or have children in the hopes of having a relationship with him. Your sexuality will be your greatest power. Never allow a man to devalue your worth through sex or childbirth unless he is truly worthy and truly committed- unless you’re sure without a doubt that he’s the one. Only give away your sexuality and body to him once he has met you on your terms and you have obtained the relationship you desire from him. 

Your sexual power will be most potent in your youth- be sure never to allow a man to waste it- and certainly never waste it partying or pursuing a career unless you’re sure that’s what you want out of life. 

If you are ever with a man that you desire a long-term relationship/marriage with yet the relationship is simply not progressing, and enough time has passed, then cut him off. Make him commit or break it off. Never allow him to string you along for months and years when nothing is to come of it. Your sexual power will wane some as you age, but never doubt that you will always have it even as you mature. It will fade some, but never completely. 

Take care of yourself physically and guard your heart well. Be kind, loving and vulnerable- but never a fool or doormat. Never give a man your submission until you have his commitment and his responsibilities towards you established firmly. 

As you grow into your teenage years and beyond the boys around you will have intense sex drives that you probably won’t understand. They will seek to be players and jerks because they resent the sexual power you hold over them and seek to weaken it. Realize they will all want sex from you as nature has decreed that their drives will be intense yet they won’t have to pay the consequences- unless you and the society make them. 

Learn to recognize their game and remember it well. As every male knows, he cannot just come up and ask you for what it is he wants (never doubt it will almost always be sex) lest he be perceived as a creep and send you fleeing from him. He knows the answer will be a “no” if he were to simply ask. He must instead play psychological games with you to make you susceptible to his prerogatives. He’ll run his game to up his status in your eyes in the hopes that you’ll choose him. He wants your thoughts and attention on him. 

Whether he’s sixteen or sixty rest assured he’s still fantasizing about twenty year-old p****. He’ll insult you, ignore you, act indifferent, confuse you, flip hot and cold on you and make you jealous. Many men will become nasty and spiteful and degrade your value as a female. They’ll make it all about them, even though it’s really all about you and your approval.

Since it’s impossible to know what a man really means by what he says, you must instead pay attention to what he does. Never initiate contact or approach him first or you will never be sure the extent of his interest or what you really mean to him. Let him initiate and if he doesn’t then you’ll know he doesn’t care that much and isn’t that interested. By initiating the contact you will never know whether he just wants your body or whether it is a relationship he seeks. And remember, make him meet you on your terms before you ever give it away. 

If he begins to ignore you then don’t pursue him. Have no contact with him and go on about your life. He might stay gone forever or he might come back around. If he does come back around then you can decide if he’s even worth your time. If you still want him then make him commit or send him on his way, without giving in sexually, if he cannot do so. Don’t waste your time with him if he’s not truly worth it and don’t ever let him keep you in an emotionally unbalanced state for weeks, months or years. 

If a man ever breaks up with you then cut him off. Again, have no contact. None (unless it’s inevitable that you see each other but never purposely contact him- for any reason). He made the decision to let you go- make him live with it

Remember that wounds always hurt the worst when they are freshest- but they will heal in time. Some wounds are severe enough to plague us for a lifetime and some never heal completely- but you can still go on living. You will get hurt in this life and you will face heartbreak. Let the person go and cut them off. They’ll either stay gone forever or they’ll come back around in time to make it right- but either way you have a life to live. Either way at least you’ll know for sure what you do or do not mean to them and have not played the fool or caused yourself unnecessary pain. 

Remember that you want a strong man, not a weak one. If a man ever shows signs of becoming financially dependent upon you or holds any kind of a grudge about paying for dates then cut him out of your life immediately. This is a very bad sign. Although you’ll hear some say it can be done and tell you their success stories, you will only end up resenting him in the end and he will be more likely to abuse you and cheat on you if you allow him to be dependent on you. A man won’t respect you or be motivated in life when you give him money- so don’t put up with it. 

Never suppress your femininity no matter what the prevailing culture says. Always seek to be a lady and never one of the guys. Accentuate what makes you a woman and what makes you different. There are still many things to learn that cannot all be contained here, but that will come. 

I tell you all this because I love you and wish to spare you much pain and heartbreak in life. And rest assured that you are never a mistake and will always be dearly loved and cherished. 

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2 thoughts on “Letter to My Daughter

  1. This was beautifully written! I will save this and give it to my 11 year old Daughter once she’s in her teens. I know she will appreciate reading it…..Thank you for writing the exact words that are in my heart. Young girls have no idea just how quickly youth, beauty and life passes by. I’m now 49 and remember my youth as if it were yesterday. Unfortunately, I did everything the opposite of what you wrote in your letter, and regret a big chunk of my life that I’ll never get back. I don’t want that for my Daughter. Thanks again for this beautifully written piece!!!!

  2. God awful. You are setting your daughter up to be hurt, or abused, as badly as you were. This letter is steeped in bitter grudges from relationships long passed but how in the world can you seriously encourage your daughter to believe that her p**** is the center of her worth? How can you be okay with implying that giving birth to her devalued you? Oh, i know you did a little damage control with your sign off, that way she only has to spend the rest of the letter wondering if that’s what you mean. What about her talents, critical thinking skills, and personality? What about her worth as a partner or a mother? What about her responsibility in the relationship? You encourage her to treat ALL men like pathetic animals, never once mentioning that in order to attract a quality mate, you must be a quality person. Besides that you never once mention what character she should look for in a man. Before you argue, money is not part of one’s character, and strong and weak are wildly ambiguous. As a parent i can assure you that you have done her a great disservice with this advice. This letter reads like a recipe for a brainless trophy wife. I know that there are countless facets to how you raise her that cannot be ascertained here. But please, for her sake, really consider how many self-serving, entitled women are abused and murdered every day. That way, when she turns up with a broken face, or maybe an absent pulse, you’ll know, despite all your denial of this fact, that you gave some bad advice. And yes, I too have a daughter.

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