I know that it’s true I should never show my hand…

But how could I have known how much attention I would garner when at first this project began?

So now dear reader without further ado…

Allow me to captivate your thoughts for a passionate moment or two… 

Oh can’t somebody tell me if I’m just going crazy? Why couldn’t mama have warned me about the games he might play? But despite this desire and that urge to play with fire I know better than to ever give it away.

Did he lure me into a trap or was it all in my head? I swear by the gods above I didn’t mean it. It all started out so innocent. Whether this is real or all in my head it’s so hard to tell, but if he did indeed play me he did it so well. 

In my ignorance I think I did wrong. There are just so many things I couldn’t understand or what could have been wrong about the words that I said. 

This is something I’ve never experienced before. Inside there is a feeling so strong- but it does not come from the heart. How could I have known there existed such yearning that would lead me to find myself lying here with a fever burning? 

How did this ever go so wrong? Inside there used to be innocence but I fear that now those days are long gone. I created a monster and I can’t seem to make it go away. There’s no going back now, what can I do? 

Better to be drug to the depths of Hell and forever there stay. I just can’t seem to make these thoughts and desires go away. Oh but this is a tale as old as time. It’s only human nature after all. Though inside my heart may be pure, no one ever warned me just how hard it would be to resist the allure. 

I pray now that Heaven hear my prayer, if indeed there be a god out there. For I know that despite my age, I have never before experienced such a feverish rage. 

So this is what they were all talking about? But oh no I cannot go down that route. Oh where can I find the strength to get through this, even when I know it will never lead to eternal bliss?

Somehow he’s in a place he should never be- in my thoughts and in my memory. 

Dear God what has he done to me? 

If only I could have seen it coming I would have took off the other way running. As every second turns into an hour, I can only hope that time does these thoughts devour.