Monthly Archives: August 2015

It’s Not the Way It Should Be…

When I was yet barely legal I put an official end to my fertility once and for all. I made the logical and conscious decision to do this because I saw how the world that we live in today is and I knew that I could never risk bringing another child into this world. I had to make sure then, as I still do now, that if me and my husband were to split apart for whatever reason that there would never be any more young or minor children to complicate things; that there would never be any dependents to have to worry about; that there would never be any children that could be used as pawns to hurt, control, manipulate or punish me. The heart would love a cabin in the woods with ten barefoot children running around, but that simply is not reality. Our society loves to tell us to follow our hearts but there comes a time when childish fantasies have to be set aside and life has to be faced for what it is. I have made the decisions I have made in my life using my head, not my heart. Emotions and feelings more often than not lead us down the wrong path, not the right one. Either way hormones should never come into play when making major and important decisions about life.

I love how men like to constantly remind women of their “biological clocks” as if they, themselves, don’t have a biological clock ticking. It’s always, “your fertility will run out soon (40’s the limit!) but I’ll still have time to make up my mind so na-na-na-na-na!” and somehow us women will regret it if we don’t start having a bunch of them in our 20s. They (the MRA men, AKA God’s gift to all womankind) will be studs like when they’re 50, 60, etc…

*Whistles* looking good Pops baby!

But I don’t regret anything, even years later. I can’t change what has been in the past nor can I change the way things are in society, but I can make a conscious decision to protect myself and, acknowledging the current state of things in society, plan my life accordingly. Men are more powerful than women, and society grants to women no special protections for our weaker and more vulnerable state, which would mean the only way for a woman to protect herself from a man is to never be with or have kids with one. (I never understood, however, the men who act scared of women. Men can control women, without ever even having to lay a finger on them).

But that doesn’t mean I have to turn into some feminist and come onto the internet and rave about how I hate men and run some marriage strike and complain how all men are wicked and evil and how us women are oh so victimized etc..etc…and let’s go our own way girls! Likewise, a man might see the way things are and decide it’s not worth the risk to get married and have kids and support a woman. There’s nothing wrong with that but there is something wrong with that same man joining up with MRAs and spewing his vile everywhere and being anti-woman and attacking women and joining in campaigns and promoting any policy he can to rid all men of responsibility for women and children. He could choose instead to promote a better way where men and women can live harmoniously together even if he chooses to be single in his own life. Even if he doesn’t have a blog or whatever he can still be an example to others by the way he lives his own life and by teaching and being there for those who look up to him.

Even if my husband begged and pleaded with me to have another child with him I would still have to tell him no, even if the thought is romantic. I simply would never do it. I see the way things are today and, again, I must protect myself. I am married and I take care of my family and fulfill my obligations as a wife and mother (which, in my view does not include obligations to go out and work!). Marriage has a lot of political value. It benefits me, my husband and our child in the way of a more stable and less complicated and stressful life, the accumulation of property and wealth and many other things. I love my husband very much but beyond just the potentially fleeting hormones of love and having fun marriage is about all the aforementioned aspects of property, stability and financial support as well.

Nonetheless, a lot of things can change in 18 years. People change. Society changes. Circumstances change. I am not willing to gamble away my future and decrease my value to other men (in the event I was divorced or something) by bringing more children into this world and complicating my life and tying myself down and putting myself in jeopardy like that. There’s no way in hell I’m going to give children to a man when it’s a 50/50 gamble that the marriage will even last a decade and I could be facing divorce or someone showing up to take my kids away from me without me even having the slightest clue of what’s even going on until the moment it hits me or being drug in and out of court for the next two decades of my life or told I must support the man who has impregnated me (and who is bigger, stronger and more powerful than me, nonetheless) and as for myself i’m just out on my own to fend for myself. I will never put myself in such a situation. Never. So I make the decisions I have made for a reason. It’s not the way things should be, but it’s the way they are. If I was ever divorced or widowed I know that I would also never remarry, at least I would never remarry unless there was drastic legal and cultural changes. I might live with a man and have some kind of unofficial ceremony but even then I would draw up very tight legal contracts between the two of us and I would never have kids with him..

Nonetheless I promote the things I believe in, the way things should be. If we do ever divorce then there will be no more children and no complications and we can just go our own way and I’ll just have to make it the best I can. Our one and only child is getting older which makes things less complicated in the event we ever did split up in the future. Without more children there’s a good chance I could find another man to take care of me and support me (where, at the most, I might work part-time or something) but with every additional child the chance of that decreases significantly and I am not willing to let my stock plummet if I am entitled to nothing in return for everything that I’ve given of myself to a man; if I am not assured lifetime financial support. If I am to put my life on the line I need to know I am guaranteed a home to live in, financial support, security and stability and I know that I simply am not guaranteed any of those things and may never be. I hope that divorce, abandonment, death or any of those terrible things never happen, but, nonetheless, they are realities in the world we live in and must be considered when planning the future. Again, it’s not the way things should be, but it’s the way they are. I would be a fool to just follow my heart and dive in head first and never consider the future or the consequences of my actions.

I look around and see the way things are and the way men are acting and within two seconds flat every wall of defense I have goes up and there is this thought and feeling inside of me that I don’t want anything to do with any man, ever. Something I see or hear triggers this response and then I don’t even want my own husband to even touch me and intimacy with the man I love seems more like a gross violation than something wondrous, pleasureful, sacred and beautiful. The only thought then becomes to protect myself because all men are just abusers of women and they can’t be trusted. I get the thought that I just want to hate men, even though in reality I want to look up to and admire the men around me and trust them.

I can’t help the things I think, but I can help the things I promote. And that is the difference. I don’t come here being a feminist (although MRAs think anyone who doesn’t fall into line with their agenda and anti-woman propaganda and thinks men should have any obligations at all towards women is labeled a “feminist” I tend to write them off as unimportant) or promoting feminist ways. I talk about what I see as wrong and promote something better, something more sustainable and a social order that does justice to men, women and children (even if that social order doesn’t happen to revolve around everybody just doing whatever they want, whenever they want and with whoever they want and screwing everyone else in the process). That’s the difference.

I can’t help the way society is but in my own life I make conscious decisions about the future. Besides, I will only live once and I’ll only be young once. I want to enjoy my youthful beauty and figure and not risk sabotaging it by back-to-back pregnancies. I want to spend my youth in high heels and miniskirts, not maternity clothes, even if in all honesty I’ve never felt more beautiful than when I was with child. I have one child, a beautiful daughter, who I adore and who I know looks like me and my husband. It’s nice to do it once and it’s nice I’ve had one child and when she’s older it will be like having my own legacy, someone who’s a part of me, a legacy that will live on even after I’m gone. I cherish that. But I do like a simpler life too. We are well off financially and in the coming years I can be a little selfish. I can spend my days keeping a petite figure, taking care of the home, relaxing and not giving a care about the world around me or if it falls all to pieces. It will be nice not having to be burdened with the care of young children.

The society around me could go to hell and I’d probably never notice. I don’t pay attention to the news (in fact I purposely avoid it), I don’t vote, I have my own home and family. I can help change things by the way I live my life. In the end that’s probably the most powerful influence anyways. I’ll never have a large family nor do I want one. Now I can save myself one bureaucratic nightmare and financial drain after another. This isn’t to put down those with large families, it’s just my opinion. I live my life and you can live yours. I have respect for those who have large families but I will never go down that road.

But I will continue to promote something better, because reproducing is a part of life and the family is the foundation of society and I believe that those who choose to have families and have children need to be protected. I believe women need to be protected and I believe children deserve the right to come from stable homes where they can have a good start in life.

Advertisements

What Kind of Society do We Want?

Is there anything more pathetic in this world than a man who doesn’t even want to provide for his own?; than a man who would become hostile and explode in a rage or become aggressive against a woman just at the very thought of ever supporting a woman? What kind of a man would do such a thing? I’d say there’s something severely wrong with a man who would become hostile against a woman who’s only crime is that she actually likes men and wants to be in a stable relationship with a man; a woman who actually is feminine, a woman who actually wants to care for her own children. 

The truth is that you’d pay for it and you know you would. Even to this day men pile into strip clubs and throw their money at beautiful (or even not so beautiful) women in the hopes of enjoying their beauty or convincing them to do some kind of sexual favors, etc.. Even with all the free sex many men would still give a woman money for it if the woman said that’s what it would take to get it. The truth is that you know if women demanded you pay for dates or marry and provide for them in order to get the [censored] that you’d do it. You hate it and it drives you insane that a woman might ever have any actual rights or choices over her own body or reproduction. It drives you nuts that women are the gatekeepers of sex and you’d do anything to get back in (or even get in at all). 

You complain women are so butch, unfeminine, out of shape, masculine, assertive, aggressive, career-driven, hate men, etc… yet you men are feminine, unmotivated, unwilling to be responsible for women and 3/4 of you look like you might be expecting triplets any day. You complain about the career-driven woman who just doesn’t want kids or can’t get in touch with her feminine side. Well, how is a woman supposed to be feminine, happy, in-shape and love men if no man will provide for her? Why would she want kids if she doesn’t have security to raise them properly? She can’t put kids and family first if she knows her only choice is to pursue a career and provide for herself. She must put career first as it is her only option and she knows it and she receives harassment from all sides so that she might never forget it. 

You complain about child support, divorce, abortion, alimony (as if it actually still exists) but who do you think legislated it in the first place? I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t women! Men created the laws, not women. Men legislated feminism, not women. Very few lawmakers, politicians, lawyers, etc.. were women and there were NO Supreme Court justices that were women until the 1980s. Even today women are hopelessly in the minority in these fields. If men have a problem with the way things are today then their problem is with other men, not women. Yet instead of attacking the problem at its root and forcing other men into their appropriate roles and responsibilities you go instead and become hostile and aggressive against women and you hate the very women that would be good to you- the very women who wouldn’t do you wrong. 

There are countless homemaking blogs out there, but where are all the breadwinner blogs, exactly? I’d say for every one traditional man there are probably about ten traditional women. Well, I propose a different solution. If men don’t want any responsibilities I say fine! You can become useless wastes of space who sit around living off of daddy and mommy until you reach middle age. You can have no motivation in life to ever actually get a job or provide for a family. Instead the women can all go out to work while you lounge around playing video games. You can have absolutely no role in life. The women will bear the children (and that’s if they even want to have them at all), work everyday to support families and even go to war. You can have no useful role or purpose in life and just drift aimlessly until you die. How does that sound? The women will work and you can just take it easy. Sex will be free and easy. One can experiment, with several different partners, even of the same sex if that is what they choose. When you get tired of one partner you can easily walk away and find another. Kids can all be raised in day-care centers or passed around the community to be raised by others while women work and men are demotivated. Paternity will never really be certain in many cases. The women are all promiscuous sl*ts, after all. That’s the way our primitive ancestors did it. I think they set such a wonderful example! Men had it made. They never had to work. Instead maybe men can just spend their days starting pointless wars that women and children end up paying the price for. Maybe men could go out hunting every once in a while and come home and toss the meat at their three different wives and say “get to work b****” then spend all night having sex with various women and we can all live in grass huts and have a lovely egalitarian society. Does that sound good? Every day can be constant drudgery and fighting just to survive. Society will never go anywhere nor will our population. And from what I’ve seen it seems like there are many who actually want us to resort to being a primitive society, as they praise primitive societies as if they were egalitarian paradises (despite evidence that they certainly were not).

Oh you love to experiment when the women say they’ll give you sex, but when the women turn around and say they’ll control their own bodies and reproduction then you throw a fit! You want women to be nothing more than mere slaves who both have careers and are good little traditional girls that do what they are told. If you had your way women would be nothing more than slaves with no rights. They should work and be equally responsible to provide yet should have no rights to property, children, divorce or rights to their own body. You love the free and easy sex and living with your girlfriend with no responsibility until she says she’s going to have a baby, and there’s nothing you can do about it (or until she says she’s going to have an abortion and there’s still nothing you can do about it). You love teaching your fellow boys about how to identify sl*ts (so you can have easy sex with them) then turn around and complain about all those illegitimate, fatherless children! You want to treat women as nothing more than disposable sex objects then wonder why so many women turn to feminism and hate men. 

We in the first world do not know and understand oftentimes the problems of the third-world. Most of us have never been starved or known those kinds of hardships. We are blessed and we are blessed because we reap the benefits of our ancestors. Well, guess what, our grandfathers were providers for their families and the ethic was a very strong one and very reinforced and accepted by society as well as law. That’s why we have everything we have. It is the primitive and impoverished third world countries that send their women out to do what we here in the West consider men’s work. It is those societies where men don’t work and have no provider ethic that generally are bad off. If we have luxuries, if we had a better life and more stable society then it is because men actually provided for their families. You can’t have it both ways. We’re resorting to primitive ways because you men stopped being the breadwinners; because you have no care or drive to provide for women. We are now accepting of and living many practices and lifestyles that were only to be found in primitive societies. 

What kind of a man is it that would claim to love a woman but become hostile at the very thought of providing for her financially? What kind of man would claim to love a woman then pressure her non-stop to “get a job” and allow his relatives to harass her about it as well? What kind of a society is it where we have whole groups and organizations of men who attack and become hostile against women just for being women and wanting to be home with their children and care for their families? What kind of a society is it where men view their own women as competition and feel nothing inside of them to even so much as stand up for a woman nor protect her, much less provide for her? Where does that leave our families? Where does that leave our children? A man who does not provide for his own is the worst kind of scum there is. There is nothing worse. Women can only be feminine if men are masculine. Women can only be homemakers and care for their children if men are providers. There is no other way. The nuclear two-parent family with the man standing alone as sole provider built up our civilization and society. It made our society and our families stable. It made our communities peaceful. You can’t have it both ways. Either we want stable families and a first-world existence with men being providers for both women and children or we want an unstable impoverished existence where men are unmotivated. You can’t have it both ways. 

Sexuality, Matured

In many ways I may be childlike, but I am not a child. I may be smaller than I was, but my body has filled out with more curves. I may still retain an air of innocence and naivety, but I am not the stupid and silly child I once was. I’ve grown up, I’ve filled out and I’ve learned a lot in life despite my still young years.

When I was young I couldn’t understand the facts of this life. In many aspects the ways of the world still allude me and I am sheltered from them. Over time I have learned the ways a lady should act. As a girl the media taught me many things, but they were all wrong. Hanging out with the crowd I have been for the past few years has changed my mannerisms and calmed me a great deal.

I am no longer so naive as to the things men really like and want. I know the things to say and do to please a man, but it doesn’t mean I will. Something has subtly been changing in me over the years. Deep inside I feel my sexuality as a power. But sex is not to be casual. I have never and will never give it casually- not for fun, not for money, not for any reason. It is something special to me and I will only ever give it as an expression of love to whom I choose. Any man who will ever have me in this life will be something special and irreplaceable to me.

When I was younger being sterile might have bothered me but now I have come to see it as a gift. I can live my life with the one I choose and never have to worry. My body is my own and it’s going to stay that way. And oh it feels so nice. I will never have to worry in life or tie myself down in such a way. I will never be treated like I’m worth less than the ground any man walks on. I will never have to worry about giving children to a man who I may not even be with five years later or putting myself in a bad position. It will never happen. The power is in my hands and I like it that way.

I have come to grow into my sexuality and it is something so wonderful. I honor my commitments. I’ve never slept around. I intend to make marriage work for a lifetime and I feel such a freedom inside with my sexuality. Not the kind of freedom that comes from promiscuity but the kind of freedom of knowing that my body is mine and is a gift that a man must earn from me. I don’t need it so badly and in fact at times I’d much prefer to go without it, but I’ll give it to him in return for all he does for me in this life.

I love deeply, I feel deeply. I’m his and you know I’ll work hard to please him. I’ll dress in pretty things and work out every morning to maintain this 26 inch waist. I’m still soft-spoken and tender-hearted. The corporate world would always clash with my femininity. But for my man, I’d never want him soft. Whether he wears a suit and tie or blue jeans; whether he works in an office or gets his hands dirty- it matters not.

I don’t want some man who knows how to express his emotions and shows his softer side. If he ever picked up a vacuum cleaner to try to impress me I’d think that he’d surely lost his mind. Read me all the poems you can think of and sing me all the love songs you want but it will avail you nothing. It’s so cute that you want to cook for me honey, but it sparks nothing to life inside of me. I want him rough, I want him confident. Intimidate me, scare me, drive me mad, love and protect me. I want to be yours forever.