Monthly Archives: February 2015

Woman’s Worst Enemy 

It’s often a mistaken belief among women that women can represent the interests of women the best; that a woman will be more sympathetic to another woman’s plight. The feminist movement has always promoted the theory that women can only have true representation by other women and that more women as lawyers, judges, and congress members will be a good thing for women because women can best legislate for other women. The reality, however, is often far different. Take the abortion debate, for instance. Women often say things like “if only men could get pregnant abortion would never be illegal” or something of the sort, but the reality is that men have been constantly shown to be more “pro-choice” than what even women are. This has held steady for decades. It is women that oppress other women. It is women that destroy the security of other women. Look at any other issue such as military duty of the draft for women. Once again, women are more likely to want women to be forced into war and into the traditional duties of men while men are more likely to be against it. When you put women in charge everything simply becomes one big b*tchfest. 

The reality is that women are often each other’s worst enemies in nearly every area of life. A woman would do best to plead her case in front of men than in front of women or both men and women. It is true that men do not always act as they should towards women, but most of these problems originate from the emasculation of men in our society. In the past if a man did not act right towards a woman, that woman could seek the protection and help of other men to straighten him out, but no such protections exist today because the men have all stepped back out of the way to let women run things. The results have been disastrous not only to women and children but also to men and all of society.

I have seen very often in life that women often turn to a fellow woman thinking she will be more sympathetic to her situation (because, after all, she’s a woman too and she would “understand” whatever it is that she’s going through or how she feels) just to find that the women are much worse than the men and often are simply bent on their destruction. Women often think “another woman would understand!” But another woman often will not understand nor care. My mother once pleaded to her mother-in-law for help and got the door slammed in her face. Where was her father-in-law? In the background, apparently, while his wife took charge of the situation to disastrous results. She just couldn’t understand how another woman and a fellow mother could be so insensitive to her- and she is not alone. Millions of women look to other women, other mothers, other women “just like them” who will “understand” and help them. We are taught all our lives in the post-feminist world about “sisterhood” and that men being in charge and in power in all areas of life leads to the oppression of women. But that is simply not how human nature works. 

There is this book by Taylor Caldwell called “Melissa” that I have always really liked because it showcases human nature very well. Melissa was an odd sort of woman who, after her mother’s death, marries a man for his money. She never fit in well with others in society and was regarded as strange by everyone else. Upon arriving at her new husband’s home her sister-in-law is determined to destroy her and break her down. Her sister-in-law has a bunch of guests staying over and Melissa notices that the men give her sympathetic looks while the women look at her with amusement and an evil gleam in their eyes. She remembers that her mother told her one time that women are a lot meaner that what men are and she starts to suspect that her mother might have been right. Towards the end of the book her sister-in-law has succeeded in breaking her down and putting enmity between her and her husband and has caused so many problems that Melissa plans to simply leave. Melissa’s sister-in-law calls upon Melissa’s brother and brother-in law for a conference about Melissa’s “behavior” trying to convince the men that Melissa is an immoral woman. Meanwhile, Melissa thinks to go to her sister for help (because surely it’s only natural that a sister would understand and help her more than a brother would?) but upon arriving at her sister’s home her sister screams at her, calls her a slut and slams the door in her face. Meanwhile, Melissa’s brother, sitting in conference with Melissa’s sister-in-law, is very suspicious of what the woman is saying and doesn’t really believe a word of it. After the conference he goes to find Melissa to find out what’s really going on. Of course, according to feminists, he would be very chauvinistic as earlier on in the book he slaps their sister across the face and tells her to sit down and shut up so he can talk because he’s the man of the house now. 

Me and a friend of mine were talking about this movie from 1945 called “Frontier Gal,” starring Yvonne de Carlo and Rod Cameron. At the end of the movie when Lorena is coming to her husband because she wants to live with him and take care of the home and their child it is another woman who convinces her husband to leave the house that way they might talk “woman to woman.” The woman then convineces Lorena that it is best if she is out of her daughter’s life forever because she would be no good for the girl. Once again, her husband stepped out of the way to let the women make decisions and disaster ensues (although the misunderstandings are cleared up in the end). 

If I close my eyes and think about any potential oppressors that I might have I always see the faces of other women. It’s true that sometimes women have to band together against a man who’s acting insensitive, but once the man is acting as he is supposed to he will be the better protector of the interests of the woman that what another woman will.

It is a bad thing for our society and a very bad thing for other women when men step back out of the way and let women take charge of things. Women are often each other’s competition. I see every day in the world that we live in that men are just stepping out of the way and letting women run everything. What women really need is for men to be the ones in charge of everything. A world where women are not allowed the vote or to involve themselves formally in politics would be the best for women. A world where men are in charge within the family and hold the political power in society is the best thing for women. A woman who finds herself in a bad situation would be best to turn to another man to help her. The worst thing she can do is turn to other women or try to manage on her own. Turning to another woman might be an intermediate step if she is in a bind but she is still better off having the help and protection of another man. If a woman puts herself under the protection and authority of a man (a man that is moral and masculine) her best interests will be served. In addition, I believe that most men will step up to the plate and be responsible if women are depending upon them to be so. 

There is really no other way. I see it as a very bad and depressing thing that there are a record number of women in congress and women as lawyers and a ten-fold increase in women being breadwinners over the last couple of decades. The longer this continues, the worse things will get. 

Oh Yeah, You’re Bad 

I’ve seen often of men in MRA circles thinking themselves so high and mighty and going to extraordinary lengths to find any area where they can put down women or claim themselves to be superior in some way. There seems to be this innate jealousy among them that women have the upper hand in sexual matters. But they just love to expound on the theory that it won’t last forever, that women are only attractive for a very short amount of time and then are nothing more than old hags who are “on the shelf” and forever forgotten about while they, the almighty male creatures that they are, continuing being hot stuff for the rest of their entire lives. 

They seem to think that women (young, hot women) are still going to be chasing after them even when they are senior citizens. I’ve also seen a lot of complaints that older and middle aged  men who do online dating will put down that they are willing to date a woman who is even as young as eighteen years old (even though women rarely are willing to date a man so much younger). I’ve seen a lot of young women complaining about this as well, exasperated that these men think so highly of themselves to really think young women of that age are going to all flock around them or even be interested at all. 

The one thing that we hear all the time (now that women are putting careers before marriage and children) is that female fertility will hit its peak early on and that youth is important for women who want to have families. We also hear that women having babies when they are older can put their offspring’s health in jeopardy. While all of this is true, the one thing that nobody ever focuses on is that men, even though they don’t go through a kind of menopause where their fertility officially ends, become less fertile as they age too. Actually, male fertility starts to decline around the same time female fertility does. Although most men can still father children throughout their entire lifespans, their ability to do so lessens as they age and men take just as much a risk as women do that their offspring will be unhealthy if they father children at middle age or later. This isn’t to say that men or women can’t procreate healthy children later in life (after all, my mother had two healthy children in her forties without any problems) but is just simply to say that youth is important for both males and females who want to have families, not just for women. If, evolutionary speaking, men would be attracted to younger women because they could bear children, then would not too women be sexually attracted to younger men who would be in peak physical shape and also be able to father healthy offspring? 

Of course, part of a man’s attractiveness is what he accomplishes in life. A younger woman might be attracted to a man who has status and who she perceives to be an authority figure. It’s not really all that unusual but unless the guy’s extremely rich it’s unrealistic to think that hot twenty-something year old females are going to flock around him even when he’s a senior citizen. Contrary to the narcissistic beliefs of many men in the “manosphere,” men do have a “shelf life.” Let’s get real, no woman wants to date her grandpa. Unless the guy’s Hugh Hefner (and even he’s not so virile anymore), it’s unrealistic to think he’s really going to still “have it” when he’s a senior citizen and his b*@ls are sagging to the ground. There have been a lot of older men (like kings and other powerful men) with younger women (sometimes a lot of younger women) throughout history but these women often didn’t have any choice in the matter or, once again, were with the man because of the extraordinary riches and influence he had. Once again, this simply doesn’t describe your average Joe out there in the dating/marriage market.

The way I see it is that women are instantly attractive when they reach physical maturity. A woman doesn’t have to accomplish anything to be attractive to men. She can offer a man her body and promise to have his children. She can offer herself to a man. A man, however, can’t just walk up to a woman and go “here I am baby, what you see is what you get!” Oh please.  Men have to achieve status in life to up their value in the dating and marriage market. Generally I think it takes men about a decade longer to really up their market value but men probably have another decade longer than women of being more attractive. But that attractiveness will decrease with time and men delude themselves if they really think otherwise. Besides, most couples are around the same age and it’s generally the exception to find older men with much younger women and older women with much younger men. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen or that it can’t last, but simply that it isn’t the norm. 

Another issue is older women in the media. It’s true that older women are not quite as represented in movies and television as older men, but let’s examine the facts of life here. Most movies and shows, unless they are strictly romance, have a male lead (and where there is an exception to this I’ve found that older women are just as represented as younger women). I’ve also seen that a lot of shows and movies tend to cater to the younger generation, which means younger male and female leads .That’s just how it goes. Most men don’t want entertainment in the way of movies, television or music that is female dominated. Women routinely will listen to music sung by men or watch shows dominated by male actors (in fact sometimes they prefer it) but most men won’t. Look at any man’s iPod and, unless the guy’s a complete fruitcake, you probably won’t find a lot of songs sung by women. You might find one or two, but for the most part men like listening to music sung by men; they like movies and shows with men doing masculine things. I guess that’s because men need to have an area of life that is all theirs, that women are mostly excluded from. 

Nothing lasts forever. All things fade away in time, and a man’s virility is no exception. There are some men who are still attractive even as senior citizens, but then again there are some women that are too. A young woman might feel an attractiveness to an older man because she perceives him as a father figure, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to date him. 

Swiss Family Robinson

The other day me and my husband were looking for something to watch and while he was pointing out one movie I saw down below a movie I haven’t seen for a very long time, Swiss Family Robinson. It is an old Disney movie and one I remember watching in my childhood. It is about a family (father, mother and their three sons) who become shipwrecked close to an uninhabited island. The captain and crew have apparently up and abandoned the ship, leaving the family trapped inside. Since the ship was abandoned they now have legal claim upon it and upon reaching the nearby island safely the father and two oldest sons go back to the ship to start bringing its contents on shore and use the materials they find to build a treehouse and other things that the family needs.

The movie has always been kind of a fantasy to me. I have always had vivid memories of the movie but had kind of forgotten about it over the years and I was very happy to see the movie again. It’s a movie that children can enjoy, as there is nothing bad in the movie and children undoubtedly would like all of the animals in the movie but there is also a lot of action, adventure and romance making it a good movie for adults to watch as well.

It’s kind of interesting how this movie has stuck with me over the years. It seems as much a fantasy to me now as it did when I was a child, only in a different way that I couldn’t really perceive as a child. What really stands out for me about the movie is how old-fashioned the movie is. From the very beginning of the movie it is the father and the oldest sons who are responsible for getting the family to shore safely. The oldest two sons have a very strict sense of duty to protect their mother and the youngest son (who looks barely older than maybe ten years old and is not really old enough to do the work the men do yet or make any big decisions). It is the father and oldest two sons that go back to the ship to salvage its contents and it is the father and oldest sons who build the tree house and do all the work Western society has always traditionally assigned to men. As well the father and oldest son always carry the guns to protect the family.

There is a clear hierarchy, which is also clearly stated in the movie, in which the oldest son takes charge if something happens to the father and then it goes down the line to the next son and so on. None of the men in the movie ever talk down about women. They never push any woman around nor treat any woman in a disrespectful way in the slightest. The mother’s position in the family is clearly one of dependence upon her husband and sons but she holds a high status in the family. Her opinions matter and she does have authority within the family. Nobody challenges her nor overrules her when she states that she does not want her youngest son up in the treehouse until it is finished and safe. She and her youngest son stay on the ground while the men are building the house. It is also the mother who ultimately decides that it is time to go ahead and let the two oldest sons travel around the island to see what they can discover and see if they can possibly find help. At every step of the way the mother’s opinion matters and is highly valued.

Later in the movie the two sons set out to sail around the island. They eventually run into the pirates from earlier on in the movie. Their boat gets wrecked and they help to free two captives of the pirates. They are only able to free the youngest of the two captains, who they believe to be a young boy. They lose the pirates and have to make it back to their home on foot. On the way, however, they discover that the captive they freed is actually a girl. Her grandfather (the other captive they didn’t free as he insisted there was no time to free him and to leave him there as he was worth ransom anyways and they wouldn’t touch him) had made her cut her hair and disguise herself as a boy so the pirates wouldn’t know she was a girl. From then on this changes things a lot. The boys insist that if she would have just said she was a girl they would have made things easier on her, which they now do.

The movie is just really old-fashioned all the way through. Traditional gender roles are promoted in the movie. Neither of the two women ever express any desire to do any of the things the men do. The men never ask for assistance from the women in any of their masculine tasks. You don’t ever see the women fighting men twice their size or chopping up wood or doing any of the things the mainstream media today shows women doing. Roberta (the girl they rescued) actually cried when the boys discovered she was a girl because she did not want to have short hair or dress like a boy. The boys take care of her and never act indecent towards her or try to push her to “man up” and get over her circumstances or fight like one of the boys. They even rescue a zebra so that she won’t have to walk all the way back as she was very tired and was having a hard time keeping up. When they make it back to their treehouse Roberta is overjoyed at getting to finally wear a pretty dress again.

There is also some fighting between the oldest two boys over leadership, and predictably, over the girl too, in which the oldest son always wins. Roberta expresses her desire to be back in Europe but in the end she stays on the island and plans to marry Fritz, the oldest son. The boys fend off snakes (Fritz actually wrestles with one) and wild animals on the journey back to the treehouse. Both Roberta and Ernst (the second oldest son after Fritz) actually challenge Fritz’s leadership at one point but end up following him anyways. Although the two sons fight to win Roberta’s affections, Fritz always comes out ahead. Ernst is more studious and Fritz shows more traditional masculinity and it is Fritz that Roberta ends up with, in contrast to today’s romance movies where the girl always falls for the more “thoughtful” or “emotional” type of guy.

This movie is just a rare find. It was just wonderful and traditional all the way through; a very innocent and happy movie. I don’t know that I can recall very many movies at all like this one that was just wonderful in every way or that was so old-fashioned. Even most movies and novels set in the past still find a way to write in feminist heroines and modern-day values. But there was none of that in this movie and I guess that’s why it’s stuck with me so much over the years and why I still love it so much to this day. It’s just something to forever dream and fantasize about.

**Update: The movie I’m referring to is the original Disney movie made in 1960