Guest Post by Ms. N.
It wasn’t meant to be this way. Take it from a 31 year old female who got her Bachelor’s degree with honors in 2005. After several years of being bullied by other women in offices, while men never cared to try and look into, or help the matter. I went to the male managers once or twice, trying to make the organization better by making them aware of employees that were costing the company efficiency, and all it ever did was make every day miserable for me.
Where was the joy and happiness that was mentioned when growing up? This job or career that was supposed to be so magical and liberating? Where was the feeling of “independence?” (I couldn’t feel real independence until I was far away from these unethical individuals). Wasn’t that supposed to happen when I started working full-time, and got my own apartment? Surely I was not misled….
It has been a very tough pill to swallow. I look back on the past and think to myself how many relationships I could have possibly had with good men, but for various reasons, could not. God, and nature, have intended a man to be a woman’s leader, as well as her provider. But, thanks to modern day feminism, I bought into the idea of not being vulnerable and trusting of men in my earlier office days. And, who knows? Maybe they would not have stepped up financially in the end. Maybe they would have. But looking back, it would’ve at least been worth it to let my guard down and find out for myself.
Perhaps it was the people and misery I was around every day, but, I am not here to blame and point fingers anymore. I am just here to say that these experiences have made it all the more evident to me: Money-making (paid work) is masculine. I’ve always had some of these ideas, but not to the extent that I do today.
To my surprise, my brother even agreed with me on the matter recently, and he is an Atheist. That made it clear to me that even people who don’t believe in God, can deduce that this is still the natural way of life. Furthermore, he made the statement about a woman getting up and taking the lead as manager at his place of employment. This made him suddenly feel unattracted to her, once she went into a masculine role. Which begs the question I have asked myself for quite some time now: WHY is there a desire to play the man? Is it to buy a new designer purse and look feminine until you step into the man’s shoes tomorrow? Is it to afford your child’s daycare in which half your paycheck goes to pay strangers to raise him or her? As a person who has never needed or asked for much (especially in terms of unnecessary material goods) I just don’t understand it-nor do I want to try to, anymore.
I JUST WANT TRADITIONAL FAMILIES TO COME BACK. Sure, they might not be like the 1950s, but the incorporation of modern day things with previous values is the life that I want-not only for myself, but for the betterment and preservation of the family unit and its vital role in a sustainable, healthy society. At the very, very least, “women’s rights” should extend a notion of same-level respect to a woman’s choice to stay home, so the CHOICE is not shunned and frowned upon. She should not be made to feel like an ostracized sinner because that is what she knows in her heart will make herself and her family happy. Today, we have a way of making this woman feel as though she should not breathe the same air, or call herself a human being, and to me, it says our society has become an unaccepting, close-minded, judgmental and nasty people. And, the most concerning part is that it’s only getting more horrifying by the year. Top that off with the fact that it seems even more acceptable, and almost “cute” when Dad stays at home with kids these days.
Unless the male is a complete homosexual, I do not believe that this is a step in the right direction based on the natural order defined by God. I do not find it progressive, nor “cool,” or “hip with the times.” Quite the contrary-I find it next to repulsive that most women now find the majority of their identification in their workplace, rather than their home.
My statement on the traditional family order collaborates with my spirituality, unnatural experiences, common sense, and the warmth I experienced from the mother of my first boyfriend who stayed at home full-time. She was adored by her kids and her hard-working husband. At the time, I didn’t understand it to the full depths that I do now. Not only are men more physically capable than woman by nature; God gave them the strength and power to sacrifice themselves for the women and children they love, but they have not been doing so.
I can imagine this is the fault of both sexes: The men, because they are not stepping up and demanding to manage their family’s finances so that women can be with their children-and the women, because, for some reason they have been insisting for too many years on having an upper hand, or refusing a man’s offer to take care of her. Which, unfortunately means that they are sitting in positions that more men should be occupying. Don’t get me wrong: If there are women out there that want a career to be her life and don’t want marriage or kids, then by all means, they should have every access to education and a promising career. But, I find the balancing act of trying to “have it all,” completely unreasonable, unrealistic, unnecessary, and damaging to relationships, in the end.
Additionally, a man wanting to take care of a woman is sometimes even seen as some kind of threat to her “independence,” that powerful, hypnotic word that gets throw around all too often today. In reality, that woman with so much financial independence might just be the one managing the office and acting in the immature and inappropriate manner that I have experienced. She is, what I like to call, the “woman-child.” She could be the type that I describe; hungry for power and control over others, while conveniently having them fooled (or threatened) by title, and status. Also, costing the company time and money that an organization cannot recover. But, as the saying goes: Misery loves company.
Furthermore, I cannot force myself, nor pretend to have a sense of pride, when seeing women in police and army uniforms. According to modern society, I am supposed to feel that we are “making progressive strides” when seeing women in masculine fields. It is, in my opinion, insulting to all of the beauty and feministic traits that Our Father has bestowed upon the female form. Contrary to popular belief, a woman does not need to fend for herself financially and physically just to be seen as a heroine and a person of worth. All she needs to do is be kind and nurturing to all of her family, and people around her.
Perhaps some would blindly consider women in the equation when they hear the statement: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is when good men do nothing.” I would put that on men to bring back romance, joy, and peace into the American family. Men are capable of doing this, and together we can stop living like the walking dead, and learn to feel the emotions as men and women were granted to share with each other again.
This right to desire a man to be our provider, is what I will argue in favor of for the rest of my life. Sure, people will accuse me of wanting to be lazy, of not doing my “equal” part, and of not having any ambitions. I will refuse to let their comments make me feel like a second-class citizen. I have experienced too much negativity, hostility and constraint in financial environments, and so it has nothing to do with “not having any ambition” and no real work goals, but rather a strong desire to live a peaceful existence.
As far as the “equality” comment goes: How is it ever going to be equal when a mother has to work outside of the home, take care of kids, and do most of the housework? That’s not equality; that’s insanity, pure and simple. I cannot imagine the marital strain when feelings of resentment from either side begin to develop for having to do more, or being too tired and worn for intimacy. Then, we Americans wonder why the cheating and the divorce rate have become such a common, familiar problem. At a slow and treacherous pace, feminism has been destroying many meaningful relationships. Perhaps not the original or current intent of the movement as a whole….but an inconvenient truth, nonetheless.
In conclusion, I know for my own life, what I want. The worth of a good woman obeying (WHILE being treated like a first-class citizen) a wonderful man so that he can protect her and the children, if they decide on them, is worth more than any amount of money that exists on this green Earth. As strange as it may sound to some, it is the order in which there will be the most communication and harmony together in the sexes. While no system will ever be perfect, a more patriarchal approach to family life and satisfaction, is crucial. That is what I am certain of, now. Men need to start acting more like providers, and women have to start setting aside their inbred fears of the opposite sex.