How Much Authority Should a Wife Have?

The father is ultimately the head of the household, but that does not mean that the wife has no authority whatsoever. While the husband has the authority and the responsibility to rule over the family and make decisions regarding the family (including decisions about his wife and children) the mother is the one responsible for caring for her children everyday and she does have a certain level of authority over them. It is the woman’s job to care for her home, her husband and her children. She is responsible for making sure her children eat, dress and behave properly and she is responsible and has the right to punish them as well for their misbehaviors. The father, of course, does teach his children and discipline them too, but men are not always around and it would be unreasonable if a wife had no authority within the household to make day-to-day decisions regarding the running of the household and decisions regarding the children. It would be unreasonable for a child to always have to wait and ask daddy for every little thing.

A father, of course, should have the authority to overrule decisions his wife makes about the household and children, but regarding normal everyday events he should not do so unless he is really against or feels strongly about some decision the wife has made. A set amount of authority and responsibility has already been given to wives and mothers and her authority should be acknowledged. For instance, say a child wants a cookie and mother says no. It would be contrary to the best interests of the child and counterproductive if the child could then just run to daddy and have daddy say “oh it’s alright son go ahead and have a cookie.” (This is also yet another reason why divorce and family breakdown is bad because kids know they can just run back and forth between parents and between households when one parent won’t let them have their way). It is also appropriate for a father to say “ask your mother” regarding the smaller everyday life decisions (such as “can I have a cookie” and other small issues of the sort). For the most part, these kinds of small everyday issues should be mostly left to the mother as she watches and guards her children’s daily behaviors and sees what they eat and what they do everyday more than the father does and thus she would know best in most cases whether it was appropriate for the child to, say, have a cookie or if the child, for instance, does not need a cookie because the child has already consumed to many sweets or unhealthy foods. (Yes, I know I’m using the cookie example a lot but it was the first issue that popped up in my mind writing this and it’s a common everyday issue with kids as they always want treats). A husband and wife should, for the most part, be in agreement with each other about everyday issues so children cannot play one parent against the other just to get their way. A husband should already have a pretty good idea what his wife would say about an issue and vice versa. A wife has to have a certain amount of authority that is consistent with her daily responsibilities of raising up and caring for her children and the household.

Regarding the bigger events, the father should really be the one to make the decisions. This will vary some between traditionalist households. For instance, I would tell the little one it’s OK to run over and visit a friend without consulting my husband as that is a small everyday issue and is in my general domain of authority. If the husband has a problem with his child going over to visit a certain kid or family that’s a different story, however, and he should have the right to disallow his children to visit a certain household despite the wishes of his wife. I don’t really get involved in whether or not the little one can spend the day with his relatives or whether she can go on school field trips and the like. Those are bigger decisions that don’t need to be decided immediately (and if they did I would still call my husband about it).

Regarding other issues besides the children, I don’t really have a lot of authority over them. My husband controls all of our finances as he is also sole provider and makes all the money as well. I do not contribute financially as I do not believe it to be my responsibility and any spending money I do get I use for extra things for myself, the little one and the house that my husband cannot always afford. I believe my husband does have the authority to tell anyone to leave our home even if I do want them to stay and I believe he also has the authority to forbid me from going somewhere or doing something. If he ever wanted/needed to move somewhere else I’d go with him even if I wasn’t necessarily happy about moving. I think it would be going too far for him to control every tiny detail of my life, such as the smaller issues such as me wanting to wear a certain dress or pair of shoes or have a glass of tea after dinner or use a certain kind of soap to bathe with or something. Of course, sometimes he does tell me not to wear something, so,(after a lot of pouting), I won’t wear it. Usually the general intent isn’t just to micromanage my life, however, but there are instead other reasons why he might tell me not to wear or do something. There are some circumstances where a husband might tell his wife not to do some small thing, such as maybe he believes it might be harmful in some way or that she might hurt herself.

I do the things I wish to do everyday and enjoy the hobbies I love and wear things I like but I still stay overall under the control and protection of my husband. I do not believe in equally making decisions with my husband. I make some small decisions with him but most of the things he does or where he goes I don’t even really know much about. I don’t really get involved much in any of his affairs and, of course, I don’t have any control over what de does for the most part. I might not like that he doesn’t always eat healthy or something like that but there’s nothing I can really do about it and I don’t try to either. I have demanded respect or that he grow up or similar things in the past and I consider that completely appropriate for a woman to do. A man is to love, cherish, protect and support his wife and it is his role as head of household that enables him to do that. A woman can make some decisions, but her husband can overrule them. A man should rule over his wife for her protection and for the best interest of the family. If done for any other purpose or for his own selfish interests then he is in the wrong.

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