Monthly Archives: April 2014

Coverture and the Criminalization of Pregnancy

“…You might think it would be hard to find someone who falls into the “pro-criminalizing pregnant women” camp. Sadly, you’d be wrong. A dangerous bill​ has wormed its way through the Tennessee legislature that would allow prosecutors to bring criminal assault charges against women who use drugs during pregnancy.

In all seriousness, it’s encouraging to see Cosmo publish a thorough take-down of this bill. It’s a sign that deep misgivings about the needless expansion of our criminal justice system are now so widely held that they’ve reached pop culture salience. For decades, this country has ratcheted up the number of crimes on the books and the length of time we lock people up, pushing the number of people under correctional control to about 7 million. Many of these people would be better served outside of the criminal justice system entirely.” (1)

“In the first legislative victory of its kind, the Tennessee Senate and House have now passed a measure that would allow criminal assault charges to be brought against Tennessee women who use drugs during their pregnancy. Now the legislation heads to Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam (R) for either his signature or his veto.

The bill allows women to avoid prosecution if they enroll in a rehab program and complete it, but critics say it could actually keep drug-addicted pregnant women from seeking the treatment they want and need. The law, if passed, would be the first of its kind in the nation.

“Women who are addicted will no longer go to their prenatal health appointments or if they do go, they won’t be honest with their doctors because they’re afraid to end up in jail,” Glass told Cosmopolitan.com. She also noted that the medical community has rejected this bill.

The American College of Obstetricians Gynecologists (ACOG) notes that criminalization has proved to be ineffective and it urges physicians to oppose legislation that punishes women for substance abuse during pregnancy. ACOG also decisively states that drug enforcement policies that deter women from seeking prenatal care are “contrary to the welfare of the mother and the fetus.”

This bill says nothing of fathers’ responsibility for fetal health, as this bill would only allow for punishment of the pregnant woman. The legal blame for NAS falls solely on the pregnant woman.” (2)

April 29: Tennessee governor sings SB 1391 despite widespread calls for a veto and objections from doctors.

It is an obvious fact of life that only women can get pregnant and everything the mother does and the environment she is in affects the fetus. The nine months spent in the womb affect us across our entire lifespans. Some women have problems and addictions that affect their pregnancy and unborn babies and now our government seeks to lay criminal penalties on the mother-and only the mother- for the result of her pregnancy.( And this is not the only case like this I have seen in the past few years such as punishing women for miscarriages if they act “irresponsible.”) Addiction during pregnancy is bad enough by itself but what I want to know is where is the father’s responsibility for fetal health if he wishes rights to the child the same as the mother? I believe we have a real and true problem of male irresponsibility in society today. In the past men were expected to be married to the mother in order to be legally recognized as the father of the child. As well, they were the guardians of their wives. This lessened after coverture was officially ended in the late 19th century but married women had many protections up until the 1970s and many aspects of coverture remained in law even holding the husband responsible for his wife’s actions to a certain extent.

Today there are no such protections. A sex-blind society is the rule today. But the only problem is that it is unrealistic. Men and women are not on equal terms no matter what crazy gender-neutralized laws we as a society can think up of. Now we are going to throw pregnant women in jail for being on drugs and giving birth to babies with NAS (neonatal abstinence syndrome). The responsibility for the outcome of a pregnancy falls entirely onto the woman as she is the only one who can become pregnant. Men may not get a say in abortion but they still get rights to the resulting children when they are born, even if illegitimate they are granted the same legal rights as the mother (a major historical shift of the past 40 years). (I would consider married men getting veto power in abortion if the marriage placed the wife under coverture where the husband was responsible for her as in the past). I can just see this now. Father isn’t in the picture, mother is drug-addicted. She gives birth and gets thrown in jail then daddy comes walking up playing dad of the year and takes full custody of the child while mom takes all the blame. And of course the GOP is right there saying “there’s no war on women.” But there is a war on women that’s been going on since coverture was repealed.

Something is wrong here. A drug-addicted pregnant woman needs help. It should be the father’s responsibility to make sure that she gets the help that she needs and the woman’s responsibility to submit to being taken care of and taking care of her child. Since obviously men cannot get pregnant traditionally in order to be responsible for fetal health the father is held responsible for the well-being of the mother. Take care of the mother and you take care of the child as women and children are inseparable through the entire reproductive process. This also makes sure she can nurse the child as well. But today women must “stand on their own two feet” take all the responsibilities of citizenship and be treated as equal to men in our feminist and egalitarian world. It’s a nice fantasy but one that never quite pans out in reality. Men are not required to take appropriate responsibility for women and children and can leave them completely on their own with no concern for what conditions they are living in or if the mother even has food to eat or medical care.

Another thing is women who have their children taken from them at birth because they were drug addicted. Most are required to get off the drugs and to get a job to prove they are responsible. But how about get treatment, be married and stay home to care for the child? That seems like a much better and more logical solution but nobody cares about mothers actually caring for their children or ensuring their children are legitimate and look at the damage around us as a result. If she doesn’t marry the father he won’t grow up and learn responsibility. She and her child will probably never be stable and secure or ever get out of poverty or unsafe living conditions. Marriage must matter to us as a society and coverture is an important and long-forgotten aspect of it that places women under guardianship.

Another thing that bothers me is pregnant women in jail. If she is not violent and/or dangerous then where is the father to take responsibility for her? Dating back thousands of years and in numerous civilizations marriage erased a woman’s previous debts and obligations and she became the responsibility of her husband (but, of course, she was required to accept guardianship and her husband’s authority and sexual regulation). Women are not men and have special circumstances in life. Men’s duties must be to protect women. Women are becoming more masculine and more violent and aggressive and it showcases the need of men to intervene and be authoritative once again so that women must act appropriate as ladies and accept male guardianship to protect them and their families.

Related: “When Women Act Bad”

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When Women Act Bad

“And to any Mangina who might be reading this: These are YOUR women. Why are you letting this happen? Why are you handing them over to government, to feminists? Especially American men abandoning their own to seek a wife abroad. One in four of them is medicated for depression or anxiety these days. If you guys can’t even manage your own, what makes you think you deserve one from overseas? Those have only turned out better because their men DID THEIR JOBS. You, like beaten dogs with a tail between their legs, skulking off to lick their wounds, leaving YOUR WOMEN to rot. That’s cowardice. A captain who abandons ship isn’t worthy of his rank. Shrugging like a sullen teenager “well it ain’t my fault”. Come on… Are you really fool enough to believe you have no power, no influence?!” (Happy Housewife)

Today we have a nation full of whiny crybaby men. If you look around for a while you will see entire groups of them whining that women are bad, women are evil, women are just as abusive (even sexually) as much as what men are. That men are really the victims of some unrecognized epidemic of female on male sexual assault and violence but the feminist court systems refuse to recognize it, etc…etc… They spend much of their time being paranoid about aggressive women and complain that they must live by women’s rules. They’ll whine and cry that they want equality with women and that they’ve been oppressed and dragged down into the dirt and are victims.

If these “men” would have been men in the first place none of this would have ever happened. Their solution is to abandon women, to hate women. If women are “bad” then they in turn are going to be “bad” and irresponsible as well. The truth, however, is that if women are out of control it is ultimately the fault of men. Just the same as if we have a nation of undisciplined, disrespectful and out of control youth it is the fault of adults. The problem can be traced back to adults being irresponsible and not doing their jobs as parents. Likewise, if women today are being bad, disrespectful and out of control the fault can be traced back to men being irresponsible and not doing their jobs in most all cases.

“Is it wrong to treat a child like an adult and on that basis refuse to provide for the child or to punish the child by abandoning the child rather than giving to the child corrective discipline and then continuing to care for the child as before? Of course; such behavior towards a child is child abuse. Well, a woman’s status relative to a man is similar in many ways to the status of a child relative to their parents. It is abusive to a woman to refuse to provide for her in a marital context. It is abusive to a woman to deny her basic provision and protection when she does wrong to a man when corrective discipline can be imposed upon the woman instead while the woman continues to receive the basic support and protection she needs. When a woman is “out of control” it is the fault of men requiring male intervention to fix the problem just like it is the fault of parents when their children are “out of control” requiring intervention from adults to fix the problem. Just like parents are never entitled to abandon their children and deny their responsibilities towards their children and just like adults as a community are never entitled to abandon their collective responsibilities towards children overall men are never entitled to abandon women and deny their responsibilities towards women and men as a collective body are never entitled to abandon their collective responsibilities towards women overall.”(1)

If a man’s wife is acting bad, it is his responsibility to control her. It is his responsibility to protect her, even from herself. It is his duty to care for her, love her, protect and support her. If she is acting bad then most of the time it is because the husband himself has been irresponsible and not doing his job of providing for and protecting her. When one’s children act bad, the parents don’t just say “I’m outta here!” and abandon them because such a thing would be abuse, it is morally wrong. The children need the parents and if they are out of control then it is the job of parents to impose law and order upon them, including disciplining (not necessarily always physical discipline) them as appropriate to correct the misbehavior. Likewise, although women are not children, in many ways a woman’s relationship with a man is childlike. In most cases women choose men who are older than them. They like men who are more successful than them and physically stronger and taller than them. Just the same as a child might crawl up into an adult’s lap to sit or be held, so too is it common to see a woman climb into her husband’s lap in like fashion to spend time with him or so that he can comfort her. I have never seen a man crawl into a woman’s lap to be held and comforted. A woman is a creature of her emotions. Today’s society says it is just a “stereotype” but in truth it is reality; reality backed up with scientific evidence even. A man is often more stable emotionally and does not make as many decisions based solely on how he feels at the moment. Men and women reason differently. Psychological research has shown that even when men and women are performing the same tasks we use different parts of our brains. The man is often the one to comfort the woman by holding her and letting her cry and protecting her. Just as parent’s first and foremost duties are to their children, so should a husband’s first and foremost duties be to his wife (which also takes care of the children).

Modern society says women should be responsible for themselves and be “independent” and equal partners with their husbands and anything different is wrong. So for a man to control his wife in any way is “wrong,” even if it protects her and protects the marriage. The government has authority over citizens, parents over children, teachers over pupils and bosses over employees. But for a man to have authority over a woman is wrong, wrong, wrong! A man is no longer held to the responsibility of supporting his wife, of protecting her from harm, of controlling and being responsible for her actions. Domestic Violence legislation like VAWA is the inevitable consequence of man’s removal from authority and responsibility over wife and children. If women are to be left on their own then they must turn somewhere for protection from men who are in most all cases stronger and more powerful than them. And so strong has the women’s movement been that even the slightest attempt by the husband to control has wife (such as saying she can’t go somewhere or blocking the doorway) might be considered abuse. Even the highest courts in the land have ruled in favor of gender-neutral laws that prohibit the man from being authoritative and being held responsible for his wife and he must share in the rights and responsibilities in regards to his children. He cannot make any decision without also consulting his wife.


“Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void” (Numbers 30:13)

If men are victims today, it is because they have run away from responsibility. If a woman is out of control it is the responsibility of the husband to fix the problem and fix the behavior. His authority and responsibility should be set in the law codes and as a general rule others should not interfere unless he is failing in his duties. For instance, if he has done all he can to control his wife and nothing is working then the community might try to interfere and reason with her and if that too has failed then the law might have to intervene if the problem keeps continuing. But first and foremost it should be examined why the husband has failed in his duties. He is responsible and he must be held to answer.

The wife should be required to submit to her husband, unless what he has asked of her is immoral or he is attempting to impose his responsibilities upon her (such as commanding her to go to work to ease his workload or put herself in danger so he can be a wimp and hide behind her). If he has become cruel to her or truly abusive to her and is harming her then intervention might become necessary. First maybe the men closest to her (such as her father or brother or other men or even women that are friends and family of the husband) can intervene on her behalf and let the husband know what he is doing is wrong and they do not approve and will shelter the wife if necessary. If that doesn’t work then a separation might be in order where the husband must still be responsible for her support.

It is the responsibility of men to protect women and support women. If women today are out of control then it is the responsibility of men to fix the job but they are never justified in abandoning women. It makes no sense to me why a man would want to be “equal” to a woman. I mean, are you a man or are you not? The phrase “being a woman” doesn’t have near the impact that the phrase “being a man” has. Generally someone might say “stop being such a woman” implying that the person should stop acting weak or emotional. But on the other hand when someone says “be a man” it implies strength, courage and power. It implies a higher level of responsibility and expectations upon one’s conduct and accomplishments. If one were to say “be a woman” it would just sound kind of odd because generally to be a woman one need only have been a female that has reached physical maturity. On the other hand to “be a man” it does not simply imply physical maturity but carries the expectation that one must prove himself. Likewise, if a man were to yell “woman!” it would pack a heavy punch because it implies authority and commands attention. On the other hand if a woman yells “man!” she would probably only get as a response a few raised eyebrows and probably a round of laughter because there is no such underlying meaning of authority or commanding of attention there. In fact, saying “man!” has been a slang term for generations.

It takes time to really achieve societal change and change existing laws, but it is something that we must advocate for. Instead of rejecting responsibility or running off and abandoning a woman who acts bad or out of control men must instead assert their authority or the problems will just escalate.

The Isolation of Housewives

“…But man made one grave mistake: in answer to vaguely reformist and humanitarian agitation he admitted women to politics and the professions. The conservatives who saw this as the undermining of our civilization and the end of the state and marriage were right after all; it is time for the demolition to begin…” (Greer, “The Female Eunuch,” 1970)

Being in the home is what I always dreamed of when I was young. But the existence can very well be isolating at times. Most of the women today have gone off to work and those that are in the home are not truly traditional in almost all cases. Family values mean very little in practice to most people today. My neighbors are not traditional and it is questionable whether any of them are truly trustworthy. There is no community because there are no women in the home. Families are broken apart and there are so many remarriages and men and women have children from several different mothers and fathers so frequently that most children are confused about who they are and where they belong in the first place. Most never have a stable home life.

The word “feminism” may have gone out of style but feminism itself is stronger than ever now in our culture. Most want to replace it these days with some kind of “complementarianism” (sorry if I misspelled. The computer doesn’t even recognize this word. I guess that’s how it always goes with the latest fads in society) which is the same exact thing and still promotes women in the workforce as opposed to them being sheltered in the home and provided for by a husband or father.

I remember as well when I was growing up that I felt kind of isolated. All the women have left their homes and there is no sense of community anymore. A young woman today doesn’t have older generations of women in the home to turn to for advice or to visit when she is feeling down. She has no mother or grandmother in the home teaching her to be a wife and mother and protecting her from the world and teaching her what she’s really worth as a woman. I remember my mother telling me to get a job and go to college. She also would tell me how she wished she had spent her twenties being selfish and pursuing a career. Like most today she would tell me about the importance of birth control and not getting pregnant. She really wanted me to have a career. According to her I always had a talent in music and a beautiful voice and she encouraged me non-stop to pursue a career in music. I also remember when I was young I always wanted her to stay with me but she would rush me in the mornings to push me out the door to go off to preschool. Everything was always so chaotic. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just stay with me. I was so messed up from being dragged back and forth between two warring parents. I endured a lot of psychological abuse especially in my teenage years and once I even ran away from home because the fighting between my parents had gotten so bad.

I struggled to find a place where I could fit in. I do remember the very rare occasion when I was a teenager going over to another’s home with a mother at home. Actually it only happened once and the woman wasn’t even a housewife. Her children were grown and she even worked part-time. But I still remember the warm-heartedness of the experience. She offered me some cheesecake she had made and I socialized with the family for a while even though I had no home of my own nor a mother at home to do the same in return. It’s the simple things like that that a woman in the home can contribute to society even if there are no children in the home. But such experiences are rare in society today.

Our culture is dying and I believe it is because women have left the home and men, instead of protecting women and children, have in turn declared war on them and abandoned their responsibilities. Modern technology has made our work easier (and has made men’s work easier as well) but that doesn’t mean we are no longer needed at home. A man can never fill in for a mother at home. A father cannot be the same. He is needed for the stability, protection and support that only he can realistically provide to the family. The husband’s paycheck is the stabilizer of the family unit but only if the wife is dependent upon it. The modern way that holds both mother and father equally financially responsible and liable for the family is not good. Society pushes women into the workforce when they have no real business being there. My grandmother would tell me when she was a little girl that society was much safer. Sure, there were bad people and there was always some crime but nothing like the problems we have today. In the past kids would walk to school and neighborhoods were safe. My grandmother would walk through the neighborhoods as a girl and everyone would just smile and wave at her. But not today.

“Few of these students had read Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique or other feminist classics. Only a handful had joined the campus women’s groups. It didn’t matter… They had grown up with working mothers, day care, and no-fault divorce…The students I interviewed had neither adopted nor rejected feminism. Rather, it had seeped into their minds like intravenous saline into the arm of an unconscious patient. They were feminists without knowing it.” (Crittenden, “What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us,” p. 18)

It is so hard to find women such as myself today. Even if you find some stay at home mothers they still hold egalitarian ideals. None of them really believe a husband should be legally required to provide for his wife or that the wife should be obligated to obey her husband. I don’t care if only 20% of women want to be called feminists, most of them still are feminists. Whatever name you put on it, it is still feminism (yeah I’m talking about you and others like you Sarah Palin).

Men are supposed to protect women and support women not the other way around. It is not my job to support the family or provide for my husband. That’s insane. My husband is a man (obviously) and can support himself and our child is legitimate therefore the obligation for that child’s financial needs should always be his. Ignoring human nature does not make it go away. The reality of the differences between the sexes is like the elephant in the living room (to use a phrase I heard someone saying once). You know, kind of hard to ignore it. It takes up a lot of space, eats a ton, makes a lot of noise and knocks things over yet we all just have to just pretend it isn’t there.

It wouldn’t be so isolating if women were in the home. When a woman is lonely or needs advice she could visit another homemaker. Young women would have good role models to look up to. When a housewife got done with her work she could visit other housewives and socialize or help others. Childless housewives especially could help the new mother at home or the just married young woman needing a little comfort or advice. Women would be in the home to cook home made food which would in turn make everyone healthier (especially with the obesity, heart disease and diabetes rates today) and cost less money. The neighborhood would be a friendly place and children could play together and walk around the neighborhood safely. Women would be happier and have a more gentle, nurturing and submissive spirit instead of the kicking a** and taking names variety of women we have today.

Today, however, there is only loneliness and isolation and women seek advice from the media and their role models are Hollywood superstars. Our culture is dying, our way of life is dying. The institution of the family has been almost entirely destroyed and every government institution seeks to further undermine the family instead of protecting it.

A woman’s place is in the home, whether there are children or not and whether she is busy all the time or not. Our civilization has been in decline ever since women left the home. Divorce rates have always correlated strongly with the percentage of married women working. And yes, you can afford to live off of one income! More jobs would open up for men and they’d probably receive better pay as there wouldn’t be as much of a surplus of workers as we have now. More than anything it would motivate men to make more money to be providers. Their pride would be in their family and husbands would feel and be essential to the family’s welfare.

The Traditional Family is the Solution to Abortion

I was looking at abortion statistics (source) from 2013 yesterday and this is what I found:

Financial reasons came first (40%) as a reason why women had abortions. After that came relationship problems and then issues like it not “being the right time” to have a baby because a woman wanted to focus on a career or college.

“A 21-year old pointed to a number of reasons why she felt the timing of her pregnancy was wrong “Mainly I didn’t feel like I was ready yet – didn’t feel financially, emotionally ready. Due date was at the same time as my externship at school. Entering the workforce with a newborn would be difficult – I just wasn’t ready yet.” A small proportion of women described not having enough time or feeling too busy to have a baby (2%).”

And as for the relationship issues:

“Nearly one third (31%) of respondents gave partner- related reasons for seeking an abortion. Six percent mentioned partners as their only reason for seeking abortion. Partner related reasons included not having a “good” or stable relationship with the father of the baby (9%), wanting to be married first (8%), not having a supportive partner (8%), being with the “wrong guy” (6%), having a partner who does not want the baby (3%), and having an abusive partner (3%).”

Some more women cited health reasons, some cited that they already had to take care of other children and didn’t want more. Still, even more cited that having a baby would interfere with future “opportunities” (read: career). Some of their explanations are as follows:

“One in five women (20%) reported that they chose abortion because they felt a baby at this time would interfere with their future goals and opportunities in general (5%) or, more specifically, with school (14%) or career plans (7%). Usually the reasons were related to the perceived difficulty of continuing to advance educational or career goals while raising a baby: “I didn’t think I’d be able to support a baby and go to college and have a job.” states an 18-year old respondent in high school. A 21-year-old woman in college with no children explains that she “Still want[s] to be able to do things like have a good job, finish school, and be stable.” Similarly, a 26-year old desiring to go back to college explains “I wanted to finish school. I’d been waiting a while to get into the bachelor’s program and I finally got it.” Another woman explains “I feel like I need to put myself first and get through college and support myself.” As a 21-one-year old seeking a college degree points out, “I’m trying to graduate from college and I’m going to cooking school in August and I have a lot of things going for me and I can’t take care of a kid by myself.” Others spoke to the inability to take time off work to raise the child.” A 21-one-year old holding two part-time jobs and raising two children states: “I wouldn’t be able to take the time off work. My work doesn’t offer maternity leave and I have to work [to afford to live] here. If I took time off I would lose my job so there’s just no way.”’

More cited things such as not being “prepared” to have a baby. Still others cited other issues that didn’t fit into the category like not wanting kids at all or legal issues.

It seems to me that the problems of a career, not being able to support a child or take off of work and other financial issues (as well as legal issues if we had coverture) would be solved by having a strong belief that fathers should be breadwinners. It also seems that the relationship issues could be solved by a strong legitimacy principle (that women shouldn’t have babies out of wedlock and should marry if pregnant, even if not the biological father) and a sexual double standard.

Feminist responses to these issues are more abortions (or subsidized ones by the state), paid maternity leave and anti-sex discrimination laws. Conservatives’ answers are to do away with welfare and tell women to keep their legs closed and pay for their own birth control already. Neither of these solutions are likely to help women in the slightest. Now that the feminist movement is over every one sees that Ok, women have equality now so let’s forget about the women. If anything let’s make everything more “fair” to men now since apparently things have gone too far to favor women. Yet the main theme is still egalitarian. It’s still leaving women on their own to fend for themselves. You don’t see conservatives advocating changing existing marriage and divorce laws to reflect traditional rights and responsibilities between the sexes. The only groups out there looking to protect marriage or change divorce laws are still operating in egalitarian mode (even antifeminist groups).

Furthermore, if conservatives take away women’s right to abortion we are going to have even greater problems as now what will these women do? In the past a man could even be made to support his closely related female relatives beyond just his wife and daughters and women even had such protections that an unwed woman coming to a hospital suffering from an illegal abortion would be questioned about the father and he could even be arrested and thrown in jail (1) (I’m sure feminists left out that little piece of history when exclaiming how society looked down on and slut-shamed single mothers- which they did of course). Now women have no protections in the slightest as they are treated and held to the same responsibilities as men, even though women are not men and don’t even understand half of the time the reality of the current legal climate.

Women had all kinds of protections to force men to be responsible for their actions towards women and children and women could count on support one way or another even if it was just marrying for convenience. But now what will women have? If conservatives wanted to protect unborn babies they could start by protecting the mother and teaching young women that a career should not be number one in their lives but prepare them to be caretakers of their children and homemakers and as well teach men they must man up and accept responsibility for women and children.

Is it any wonder that statistics show that stay at home mothers are more likely to be independent and not lean either liberal or conservative? (2) Could it be that a lot of traditional women like myself are sick of today’s conservatives? I personally think the only thing worse than a Democrat is a Republican. The traditional family solves the issues of a woman not being able to financially provide for a baby, or not being able to stay home or not being ‘ready’ because she wants to focus on a career or she doesn’t feel mature enough. Patriarchy tells a woman her child cannot be a bastard. It is harsh, yes, (but then again isn’t life always harsh for those who don’t follow what society deems proper?) but if we look back through history we see that very few babies were born out of wedlock when there was high stigma on illegitimacy and even then those mothers may have married shortly thereafter. Patriarchy puts the obligation to provide on the father. With him as unquestionable provider and authority the woman’s worries of financial support go away. Her problems of not being able to stay home go away. Her worries of not being mature enough or ready go away.

Once again, I don’t argue whether abortion should be legal or not because of the ethical and medical considerations involved. My focus is on the realities of life and gender issues. If society wanted to help families and unborn babies, they would focus on separate rights and responsibilities between the sexes instead of just saying we’re all equal now and everyone fend for themselves and fight each other when they think one party has a 1% greater chance of being a victim of something or not getting something they want.

CDD, You’ve Got it Wrong

Well, I’ve been involved in some interesting stuff here lately. I have been researching some social movements such as the christian patriarchy movement, stay at home daughters movement and the ever popular domestic discipline movement (sometimes part of the christian patriarchy movement). It’s good to at least see the culture moving towards patriarchy but i’m still seeing a lot of problems. First, some of these groups tend to be tinged with sexually explicit BDSM aspects. On some of my research adventures I’ve quite frankly felt a sudden urge to tighten up my anti-virus protection and have been really disturbed by a lot of things.

There does seem to be a lot of women out there really truly wanting to submit to their husbands and have happy homes. But the one thing I’ve seen that they are missing is that they still seem to be feminist in many aspects. For instance, I’ve gotten myself involved in a couple of conversations and following quite a few others. I’ve also been searching through blogs and websites and the one thing that I’ve noticed is that they are still feminist in the aspect of women working and nobody seems to want to talk about a husband’s responsibilities except for where keeping his wife “in line” is concerned. They promise to obey their husbands and then they march right off to work.

I responded to a posting in a group (a Christian domestic discipline group) I joined up with a week ago where a woman was talking about how her husband was disciplining her and how she can submit to him better and she was asking advice at what the other ladies and their husbands do. Then she went on to say about how she just lost her job and she was really stressed. I’ve seen this kind of conversation before and these ladies then go on to talk about how their husbands command them to do this or that before they head off to work and their husband’s discipline helps them relieve the stress they deal with at work and they will talk about having Bible studies and everything as well. I mean, something is seriously wrong here. I mean, you want your husband to spank the stress out of you that you acquired through sharing in his responsibilities? I’d rather be a feminist than deal with that! At least I could “go my own way.” I pointed out that it wasn’t her responsibility to go to work but her husband’s and his role as head of household is so that he can provide for her and their children better. So what did they say? Nothing. In fact, the group is acting like I don’t exist at all. The conversation kept on going and is still going and nobody has made mention or even cared about anything at all that I said. Some of them even wished her luck in finding a new job. But doesn’t their own Bible say it is for the man to work “by the sweat of his brow” to provide for his family and that the woman’s husband is to rule over her even though she will try to rule over him? They acknowledge the husband ruling over her part but make no mention about the man’s work to provide. Some also seem to think it’s perfectly acceptable for a boss or boyfriend to discipline a woman when only a husband (or father when she’s young) should have such a right.

Unfortunately I see these movements as some kind of game. They set out the “rules” of the game, they have names and abbreviations such as “HoH” (head of household) and things like that. They are still, however, part of the modern mainstream culture and what ultimately separates them from their BDSM loving secular egalitarian counterparts? The Bible studies where they ignore scripture and redefine it to what modern society says is right and wrong? These movements might tie in well with movements such as the men’s rights movement that wants men put in charge but still keeping the feminist ideals of women going out and holding employment regardless of their marital status.

Now I’m not going to argue about the whole men disciplining their wives thing. In truth, when it comes down to it, no authority is a real authority unless 1) it can enforce its rule with the approval of society and the law or 2) it has the power to discipline those under its rule. Everyone is disciplined by someone whether physical or not when they break a rule or law. I don’t believe that a man has any rightful authority unless he has unquestionable responsibility. I’ve seen some complain about women pressing charges for things like “marital rape” on their husbands. My thoughts? I don’t think it’s right but if men want to “go their own way” and leave women to fend for themselves then what do they expect? You can’t force yourself upon a woman and force her to bear your children when she can be forced to carry half the burden of the economic costs and you can abandon her any time you want to. You can’t put a woman “in her place” then tell her to go to work so you can sit back and and not have to worry so much. I’ve seen some women say they work full-time and then come home and cook dinner and get a beer for their husband so he can relax and watch TV! That’s insanity. That’s called exploitation. That’s called taking advantage of someone for your own benefit and to their detriment.

I think allowing men to use a little force to restrain their wives or even discipline when necessary might be appropriate and would give men both the power to protect themselves and as well protect their wives from her own foolishness and keep peace in the home. But it’s not a carte blanche to abuse a woman nor for him to push his burdens on her back so he doesn’t have as much to worry about.