My take? Men as a group have had everything handed to them because of feminism- BUT- there is always a price to pay for everything. Most men don’t have custody because they’ve never pursued it. Feminists hatred of men is definitely there but they have done more for men than any other movement ever has. Men no longer have to support a wife for life, there is no draft (and if there was they’d take young women too thanks to feminists), they’ve been given more rights to child custody now that women have abandoned their role as the caretakers to young children. Two incomes are common, they don’t have to shoulder the burden of support alone. They get free and easy sex and paternal rights to children without having to marry. And, if they live in New York, they don’t even have to pay a stripper anymore. What a paradise!
You see, though, they are no longer the leaders of their families. They chose to flee from responsibility so now they have no patriarchal authority to keep their families together and they are paying the price (or, at least, sharing it with women). All of the men I’ve ever known who didn’t have custody of children when their wives left them were ones who never fought for it. I know more women than men who’ve lost custody. We lose 3-4 women from pregnancy and childbirth deaths every day in the United States (not to discount our troops and the wonderful job they do, but this is more women each year dying from what only a woman can die from than we’ve lost soldiers the entire decade we’ve been overseas) yet women are shouldering the burdens of support of a family. Even more women are having to raise and support children alone because the father is nowhere in sight and society blames them for being single mothers by saying they’re just out for the welfare money.The interesting thing is we all think that mothers always get custody (when we’re young and naive) but there have been several studies done looking for “sex discrimination” in the family courts that showed the father usually gets custody if he wants it, especially if he is abusive (I’m not linking an article because there are many legitimate resources out there, disbelievers can do their own research).
You see feminists never cared about mother’s custody rights. Nobody does. I dare someone to name the last time they saw a “mother’s rights organization” outside of feminists advocating for “mother’s rights” to breastfeed in public (which I actually agree with) or domestic violence issues (which is just a smokescreen for what’s really going on).
Yes, there are good men who have been done wrong. The appropriate response to injustices? Men need to accept their RESPONSIBILITY and assert their AUTHORITY. These issues wouldn’t be issues if men were being men in the first place. Suzanne Venker made the remark that “women just aren’t women anymore” in an article a few months back. Well, men aren’t “men anymore” either. She’s says there’s a “war on men” then says feminism serves men well in the same posting. Pretty typical of those who hold MRA views to have selective vision.
I may sound like a feminist sometimes or tout “feminist” viewpoints and there are definitely many times where I know that feminists point out real issues for women. However, I don’t agree with the feminist solution to all of this. To the feminist,women’s problems are just a bunch of evil men coming to “steal their equality once they’ve fiinallly achieved it after thouuusands of years”- seriously who would even believe a tale like that???) But those who are informed know what’s going on.
And for those who say feminists are for “separating children from fathers” all I can say is use your damned head already. Feminists have long encouraged women to dump children off on fathers so they can go pursue a career.
Men’s rights groups use feminism and feminist ideals that are now ingrained in mainstream culture to get out of responsibility. (Notice how none of them are touting women in combat, but, hey, if feminists are promoting it then they’ll seize the opportunity and force women to be drafted. Once again, feminists are on their side and feminism has benefited them.) Then they turn around and call themselves “anti-feminists” leading to more women thinking feminism actually has been about giving women a status as “human beings” and any anti-feminist is automatically grouped in with men’s groups and is perceived as anti-woman.
I do not consider a man a victim until he has accepted his rightful responsibilities. Sorry, you can’t sit there and support women being in the home and expect that it is their place to care for the children then all of a sudden wonder “hey, where’s my support at?” when it benefits you. Either take your responsibilities or be victims. I’m not going to feel sorry for men’s groups. The way I see it is this: equal pay laws have been on the books for 50 years now and most states abolished their tender years doctrines many years ago. It’s absurd to think that somehow women are still discriminated against in the workforce just the same as it is insane to think that somehow fathers are discriminated against in family courts. The evidence generally shows that the workforce favors women and the family courts actually favor fathers. Are there men who are victims? Yes. Are men, as a group, victims? No.
But, men and women can’t live without each other. We need to form healthy relationships. If men accepted their responsibilities and asserted rightful authority and were chivalrous to women we wouldn’t be in this mess and our children wouldn’t be so bad off today and coming from broken homes. So, are you going to whine and cry or are you going to be men? And women, are you going to force men to man up or are you going to keep letting them get away with exploiting you sexually and financially?
Don’t complain if you aren’t willing to stand up and do something. MRAs have no real solutions to offer men and feminists have no real solutions for women. They all just keep talking about things being “more fair” and “equal.” They tell lies and deceive the public and take advantage of men and women in vulnerable states. Don’t let them fool you.