What is it all about? Why would a woman go against feminism? When I was younger I had a very rough life.I was tossed back and forth between warring parents and was never truly accepted by most of my family (the family I actually saw, anyways). I found it very difficult to make friends again when I would move. I was generally used as a pawn by my dad to control my mother and when I was with my mother she was so emotionally distressed over our current situation and her other family problems from remarriage that I never truly got the love and nurturing I always craved from her. Although my life certainly could have been worse when I was younger, I still would never want my own child or anyone else to have the childhood that I did.
As I got older I began to listen to the feminists as my personal experiences had left me very dissatisfied with life in general. It left me with a feeling of displacement and sometimes even a disdain for men. I went to college and began studying history and law. It was while doing some routine homework one night that the real truth of feminism was actually revealed to me. I felt such anger and shock that I had been lied to all of my life. After all, any girl who had to endure my father’s reinterpretations of history, without knowing any better, would immediately become a hard-core feminist probably even to the point of lesbianism. Before this point I was even beginning to develop all around hatred for men. I saw how my father treated my mother. I saw what other men were doing and how they were treating women. Before I became educated about history and law I thought feminism was the only way. After all, my father had assured me of women’s inferiority throughout history and reinforced to me that women had no rights.
But turning to feminism just didn’t feel right. I wanted to like men and trust them, but how could any woman when she feels men are just out to sexually and financially exploit her and shun their responsibilities? How could any woman not turn to man hatred when we have a society of absent “baby daddies” and breadwinner mothers? I went forward with the plan society laid out for women- college education and ultimately a dependable job because in my mind it would be divorce insurance (at that time I had no way of knowing that was precisely the women’s movement’s goal). I never did take a job as the insight I received revealed to me the truth about feminism and I knew that things have not always been this way. I instead returned my goals to being a housewife.
When I found out what feminists had really done to women I was more than spiteful of them and I still am. What they have wanted to do to women for the past few decades is unforgivable in the eyes of any traditional man or woman. I did not want to be subject to a military draft like a man nor did I want to ever give up custody of my young children or be forced to assume a breadwinner role like a man. The thought of actually supporting a man is even more sickening, and rightly so.
I was called a “feminazi” by a man once because I said “men need to do something.” In other words, what I meant was that men need to take on their responsibilities as men. Even though I have been accused of “man hating” by the increasingly Testosterone deprived, modern males in society (otherwise known as MRAs), I was not wrong with what I said. In fact I was right on target. Men do need to take on their traditional responsibilities. In practically every human society that has ever existed it has been considered the husband’s responsibility to support the family. Even in matrilineal societies like the Tuareg the husband is expected to pay the bills, even though the women own the property and inheritance is passed through the mother’s line. Similarly, with the Na of China the men bring fine gifts to the women they wish to mate with, even though there are no equivalent words in their native language for the words “father” or “fatherhood.”
In countless human societies throughout history the father was only an occasional visitor to the family, if paternity was ever even acknowledged at all. In many cases the father didn’t have any particular obligation to support the children nor any real claim to them. Since women conceive, bear, nurse and nurture the children societies that brought fathers into the family always regarded that he must do his part and provide for the women and children. The woman fulfills all the biological functions to give the child life and care for it, so what will the father bring in return?
In the classic and forever relevant “Men and Marriage” George Gilder rightly states that “the prime fact of life is the sexual superiority of women.” He goes on to say
“The nominally equivalent role of father is in fact a product of marriage and other cultural contrivances. There is no biological need for the father to be anywhere around when the baby is born and nurtured. In many societies the father has no special responsibility to support the specific children he sires. In some societies, paternity is not even acknowledged. The father is neither inherently equal to the mother within the family, nor necessarily inclined to remain with it. In one way or another, the man must be made equal by society.”
Few women today have probably ever heard such an assertion, for nobody has ever even suggested that women might actually be the superior sex. Feminists said we were inferior. They told us we had no rights and our biological roles were degrading and that for thousands of years we have had absolutely no rights or social status other than being the property of our husbands. But they could not have been more wrong. MRAs, on the other hand, know that women have always been sexually superior. This is why they will go to any lengths to sever maternal ties with her children and tell women that a uterus does not make us special (they have almighty sperm after all!). Feminists have long enabled this as well by proclaiming that women are in no way any more nurturing than men and that a father is an adequate replacement for a mother in the home. I don’t know about most women, but I have never -especially when nursing an infant at my breast- been too satisfied with that assertion.
Understanding feminism has helped me reject it and fight against it. I feel that this “men’s movement” will disappear when the annoyance that is feminism is dismantled and destroyed. If it wasn’t for feminism men who talk the way they do about women and shunning their responsibilities and so forth would have probably gotten their butts kicked up and down Mainstreet long ago.
As much as women have lost their way, men have too. Although fatherhood is ultimately a cultural invention, the father can be made of equal importance in the family by assuming the role of provider. His role as provider is essential and necessary, for his wife and children are fatally dependent upon what he brings to them. As provider the man can know that he is necessary (instead of feeling expendable) and that he has achieved success. It is a peace of mind to a woman when she can depend upon the father of her child and trust in him. She can revel in the delights of bearing and nurturing children and men can be directed in appropriate roles that benefit society.
Understanding what has gone wrong and the truth about history gives a great peace of mind to me. My writing is sometimes harsh and I intend it to be. Women need to hear the truth and men need to start being men again. Only then will things be set right.
© 2013 What’s Wrong With Equal Rights. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly prohibited.