Falling Birth Rates and the Importance of the Traditional Wife and Mother

Sex Education in Europe Turns to Urging More Births

So let me get this straight…You want us girls to do our “duty” and have babies to save the future of a civilization that has been telling us for decades now that we are not doing our part or duty by having babies..? It can’t possibly be that women in the home bearing and caring for children might have been fundamental for society to function properly? But we can’t admit that. That would be politically incorrect!

One word: SECURITY

There’s no WAY I’d consider having kids with the way things are today. Fix the family, fix society.

Posted in Commentary, Current Events | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Commenting on This Site

I have had many fans comment and email me asking me about commenting on my site. A couple of years ago I shut down commenting and even removed the comments that used to be on this blog. I actually do regret this in a way, but what’s done is done. Given the requests for commenting I have received from those who follow and support this blog I have decided to allow comments once again on most of my posts.

However hostile feminists and MRAs are NOT welcome on this site and I will NOT be publishing your comments. All comments are moderated so anything hostile towards traditional women, slanderous, offensive, or (should this really have to be said?) illegal will not be published.

Many thanks,

The Radical One

Posted in Updates | 3 Comments

Why I Write

First and foremost, my first caring is about my own life and that of my family. But I do care about this society that we live in. I don’t read the news hardly ever nor do I even care who’s running for president. It’s all the same to me. I try to stay off the internet except to do my shopping or check up on the blogs I link to or like to read. I know that I am different and that I have always been. I have never fit in with the crowd and I probably never will. But that doesn’t matter to me. I am who I am and if others don’t accept me then that’s their problem. Even the most seemingly insignificant things in life serve a purpose and without them there could be no balance and harmony in the universe.

When I first started writing I never dreamed I would ever build up a little community on the Web or that I would attract any attention at all. How many hits I have gotten on this site has been simply astounding to me. I know that there are a few of my friends and relatives that know about my site, although I cannot know how often or if they ever read what I write. If they like me that’s great, but if not then I do not care.

Although I will not start uncomfortable or controversial political topics with others, I will stand up for what I believe no matter who likes it or who doesn’t. If you want to ask me what I believe then I’ll tell you. Throughout history humans have been persecuted for what they believe. Many have even given their life for their faith and their beliefs. We live in a society that tells us to be who we are and we are told that we must accept everyone’s beliefs and everyone’s way of life- but what they really mean is that we must live and believe as they do. Nobody can be accepting of everyone’s beliefs as they will still always outcast and persecute those who do not accept everyone’s beliefs. You can be who you are, as long as it is what they say you should be.

Over time I have been contacted by several women and even a couple of men. It means a lot to me to read and hear from others who believe as I do. In the society we live in today it’s controversial (and that’s putting it tamely) to even say that a man should support his wife. In reality it should just be assumed that a man will support his wife but I have been treated with scorn and contempt from both sexes just for daring to say such a thing.

I remember how when I got married the preacher said that God calls wives to submit to their husbands. I didn’t think anything about it at all. I might have downcast my eyes shyly but there never registered even a hint of outrage nor offense inside of me. It seemed natural to me. I saw nothing wrong with it. This was before I ever even heard about feminism or women’s lib or domestic violence or anything. I remember being asked once when I was about sixteen if I was a feminist. I had no idea what a feminist even was. I said “sure, I guess” because I thought it was something about being feminine. Then I was informed it was about women’s rights and I said no, that I was not a feminist. In reality I had no caring of the sort about “rights.” I knew I might work for a little while but I always hoped to get married and have my husband support me and take care of me.

It was later that mistrust began to develop. Something was wrong with the world today but I did not know what. Women’s rights and feminism seemed like the way to go but it just didn’t feel right. Being “equal” didn’t feel right. It felt cold. It felt wrong. It felt unjust. It felt that way because it was- and is- cold, wrong and unjust. I started this site to be a voice for women, for families. Without men providing for and protecting women there can be no prosperity, no stable family ties, no civilization.

For the first probably three years of marriage I was always on guard fearing abandonment. It took about three years before I began to really believe that he was going to support me and that I could depend on him truly to do so. It took so long before I could even tell my husband I trusted him. He seemed to change after that. I know he wanted to protect me and support me from the beginning but it seemed to take on a different meaning after that. It has taken me years longer to really believe all the things he has told me to be the truth. Our past has not been easy and we have come through a lot. But I know now he will forsake all others for me, as I will for him.

Without my dependence on him I don’t think we would have made it. If he hadn’t been my provider I could not have felt so deeply for him as I always have. I might not have stayed if I had somewhere else to go. Yes, I have loved him since I was a teenager but that could never be enough. I had to know that I could trust him. The first step was his provision of me but I also had to believe the things he said to me. I needed to understand the truth and without knowing it I would do any crazy thing to leave, to get away, to ease the hurt inside. But now I think I understand that he is not lying to me, that I can trust what he says- especially about our past. There has been a mistrust that has characterized our relationship since the beginning and it has always been an antagonism between us, but all I’ve ever wanted to know is that I can trust him. I don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks or believes and I never have.

I have been put down for being in the home. I feel like my family always tries subtle ways to get me to have a career- usually by instilling distrust of my husband in me and then *subtly* reminding me that I have not finished college. People always love to make “suggestions” about how I should seek employment to relive my apparent boredom or whatever else. A career is the cure-all for the modern woman. Heaven forbid a woman might find fulfillment outside of the workforce. I have literally been called names and been called lazy for not having a “job.” Funny, if I was a career woman they would never call me such things, even if I was divorced three times and had kids with several different fathers or engaged in frequent drunken one night stands. As long as I was a co-provider and didn’t ever depend on a man or the welfare system to support me or my kids I would be acceptable- no matter how crazy or hectic my life. But I do not care. Call me what you will. Throw stones if you will. I will not waver. I would die for a principle. I would die for what I believe.

Yes, I have changed my husband. That’s what women do. Men will change if their women demand it of them. He has changed for me. But I would never do him wrong. I can never disrespect him because he has worked hard all these years to take care of me. I have never really been able to say anything bad about who he is today even when I am angry. Even though it is a rare occasion indeed that he ever does any housework or childcare I’ve never called him lazy. I could never do that because he takes care of me.

My house is not always spotless. We actually live in the house so it is impossible for it to be spotless all the time. Yet I work hard everyday. I’m not some Stepford wife nor do I believe the 1950s were the golden age of the family. I don’t even think that’s ideal. I don’t want to change the world. Sure it would be nice but that’s a pretty big goal and I just don’t think I have the dedication that would take. I know everyday this site gets many hits from search engines. I don’t know everything people search for. I don’t know who’s reading this. I may never know who my writings impact. I alone cannot save this culture. Maybe there is no saving it, but it is my hope that I can at least save a few individuals.

There is a real sadness in my heart when I look at the world around me. This website gives me an outlet to express my frustration, my hopes and my beliefs and put them out there for the world to see. I hope that this site will bless those who read it and be a help to those looking for answers. Of course, I cannot have all the answers for anyone nor have I ever claimed to but I hope maybe this site can be a help to guide someone in the right direction or guide them to whatever it is they are seeking.

Those who have supported me throughout these years of writing are of many cultures, many religions and speak many different tongues. I thank you for making this site what it is today.

And to my husband, my love, the father of my child, thank you for sticking by me and for your continued support. May we be different from the world and may we have many long years together.

May you always keep strong in your beliefs,

The Radical One

Posted in Personal Relationships, Updates | Tagged , | 2 Comments

A Woman’s Needs

“The center of a woman’s happiness in marriage is to be loved- but the center of a man’s is to be admired.” – Helen B. Andelin 

It’s well known that a man has needs. A good wife fulfills those needs. A good wife takes care of the children, the home, greets her husband at the door, feeds him home-cooked meals, gives him sex regularly, makes him feel like a man… If she doesn’t fulfill those needs then her husband strays and it’s all her fault…

Yet the woman stays home every day, keeps herself in good shape, makes her home pretty, faithfully attends to her duties…And all the while she waits…

Every once in a while she wants to let her hair fall down her back, to dress up pretty and be appreciated. The heels on her feet, the stockings so carefully rolled up her legs, the powdered face and rouged lips, the cinched in waist and minidress…An investment that gives no return…Nobody’s around to see it, to appreciate it. To sit there for hours looking pretty but getting nothing but a headache in return for all her attention to detail. On the weekends she hopes he’ll notice her, that he’ll take her out. She waits all day but nobody ever sees her, ever notices her. At the end of the day she resigns herself once again to her fate, washes the makeup off and never expects anything will ever change. It’s all been a waste. Might as well let the house get dirty and the dishes pile up in the sink and not worry about the mascara streaks down her face from where she’s cried so much…Her makeup’s ruined now but it’s not like he’d notice. He’ll never take her out this weekend or the next. He’s never done so but maybe once or twice in all these years…

The longing desire for happiness, for attention, to be shown off every once in a while. The desire to be loved. The desire for once to get a break from the constant housework, the bleeding hands and the noisy and messy children… But for her there is no escape. She fulfills his needs but he never has time for hers. Either he doesn’t understand or he doesn’t care that she needs more than what he’s giving.

Like most men he doesn’t get it and if she draws away from him it’s some big shocker that he never saw coming. It’s almost a point of pride for a man to exclaim that he doesn’t understand a woman, but it’s really not all that hard. She just wants him but he always has something better to do… She doesn’t want some fool that dotes on her every word- no she’d be disgusted at him for that and think him less of a man. But she wants to feel like a woman, she wants to be loved and appreciated. Just as much as he wants the chance to be a man she wants the chance to be a woman. He may provide for her physical needs, but emotionally he deprives her.

And the winter days fade to spring and the spring days blossom bright and hot into summer. Yet she still sits there, pretty and waiting for something that’s never going to come…

Posted in On Being a Woman, Personal Relationships | Tagged | Leave a comment

Childbearing, Working Women, Man-Pleasing and the Figure

What I want to know is this: if having children “ruins” a woman’s figure then why did your average woman in the 1950s have a waist size that was seven inches smaller than what women’s are today, even though 1950s women had, on average, a lot more children than women do today? Obviously it becomes a bit absurd to blame childbearing for the reason women get out of shape especially since, from what I’ve seen, it is usually the women who don’t have children who are the most out of shape.

If you look at other mammals it’s quite easy to see that most of them become very skinny (and usually stay that way) after having their babies. Obviously it’s something in our environment and lifestyle that has caused us to be out of shape, not our biology or childbearing. Despite our higher level of social organization, we humans are, underneath it all, still mammals.

I’ve never been overweight and I’m a mother. I still wear bikinis at the beach. But I’ve always made it a point to stay in shape. Admittedly, I got out of shape over the fall and winter. I used to walk one and a half hours every day then my treadmill broke. I became frustrated as there was really no way to walk adequately outdoors where I live and I took an exercise hiatus.. The petite 26 1/2 inch waist I had turned into a 29 inch waist. Granted, your average American woman still has half a foot more around her waist than me, but that’s hardly a consolation. I have since gone back to working harder than before (and plan to do so for the rest of my life) and the weight is starting to come back off. It takes a lot for me to admit how out of shape I got because I’m very ashamed of it, but I refuse to stay out of shape or ever again become out of shape. I don’t care if I have to do jumping jacks in my living room for two hours everyday, I’m going to stay in shape. I don’t diet, however, as dieting messes with the body’s hormones and usually makes you fat in the long run. I eat when I’m hungry and eat I until I’m full. I also eat real sugar.

Admittedly, I’m a bit of a man pleaser. Ok, maybe a lot. Today women are supposed to dress only for themselves and not give a damn about what men think but I’m a bit more traditional. (Ok, that’s an understatement as those who follow me know I’m radically traditional). I like to look good. I like to dress pretty and I like the feedback I get from my husband. Even though I don’t go around trying to tease other men intentionally I still also like to know I’m attractive. I rarely see a woman around where I live wearing anything other than jeans and a t-shirt. I, however, love dresses, skirts, lacy lingerie, high heels and red lipstick. I wear jeans sometimes but usually try to look as feminine as possible whenever I do. I also never cut or trim my hair so it falls a little past my waist when it is down.

Staying home allows me to focus on my family and focus on staying in shape for my husband. I have plenty of time to stay active and work out. I do my chores and have spare time for staying in shape. It is one of the privileges of being a traditional woman. But my husband as well has privileges as he doesn’t have to come home and do anything. Unless he’s working on some project or fixing something he normally comes home and watches TV. He has plenty of free time to devote to his own interests as well. With egalitarian marriage comes the loss of privileges for both spouses. More than likely the stress of working makes women put on weight and, as well, nobody even lives in the home (that they are majorly in debt for) and they spend their lives rushing around barely even having time for family, their spouse, cooking healthy food or regular exercise.

Biology isn’t destiny (for example, just look how feminized modern men have become in the post-feminist world) and evolution doesn’t happen quickly enough for it to be to blame for the obesity epidemic. We all are genetically predisposed to be many different things in this life but the fact is that our environment, our lifestyles and our actions affect our hormones, brain chemistry and the way our genes express themselves. Maybe going back to the basics and embracing masculinity, femininity and sex roles would do a lot to normalize our lives and keep us all happier and healthier.

Recommended:

How to be pleasing to your husband

These are my opinions and personal experiences about staying in shape. I’m not a doctor so don’t be a retard. If you have some health question or issue see a professional.

There are also medications, health problems and other factors that can influence our weight, but that is not the subject of this post.

Posted in Commentary | Tagged , ,

“Can’t Hold Us Down”

The Christina Aguilera video below is the stuff I grew up on. Of course, I never had a mother or mother-figure to tell me what exactly was wrong with this video and that those “double standards” actually served a purpose. I remember me and my husband talking once and we were talking about how neither of us had ever even heard the word “illegitimate” growing up. We never even knew what it meant. The only thing I ever heard from my mother growing up was the importance of birth control and that I needed college and a good career and not to have babies until I had finished college and was “ready” or “in a serious relationship” or something. I was never quite clear on when exactly it was OK to have sex or when babies should ideally come along (or if they were ever even supposed to).

This song actually strikes right at the heart of patriarchy, but none of us girls belting out the lyrics to the song could have possibly known that when we were growing up or understand the significance of it. It’s very confusing when you’re told on the one hand to express yourself sexually and do what you want yet on the other hand when the consequences of sex (i.e., babies) inevitably follow all of a sudden you’ve done something wrong and nobody can quite understand “how this could have happened” and how things became so messed up. On the one hand young women and girls are sexualized by the media and taught free sex is OK yet on the other hand she’s done something wrong by actually following what the media teaches (and nobody ever teaches her how she should act as the media, the Hollywood stars and her peers are her primary- and sometimes only- teachers). That should probably be termed the real double standard; the double standard in expectations as if actions have no consequences in life. Older women would rather be hostile to the younger women rather than teach them the right way to behave and be loved and happy in life and the men generally stay silent on the issue.

After being taken care of and provided for by a man for so long it was a bit unnerving to see this video after so many years and see how both the men and the women were up in each other’s faces and looked as if they might even physically attack each other at any moment. Also interesting (and I’m sure completely insignificant) is that the video appears to be set in a dirty poverty-stricken ghetto neighborhood. A woman is even carrying around a young child at the end of the video. (The significance of that, I’m sure, is anyone’s guess. Maybe her baby will grow up to be a good feminist man who follows orders).

“Sisterhood” of course is promoted in the song and video. The women appear to be just as immature as the boy-men in the video whom they are criticizing. The in-your-face sexual perversion in the video is crude and uncomfortable. The video is a wonderful display of the lawlessness, perversion, poverty and antagonism between the sexes that feminism and sexual promiscuity creates. If he attacks you, attack him back girl…We got your back…

No, the males shown in the video and described by the song are not men- and they never will be so long as the girls are sexually free.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Why I Hope the Supreme Court Strikes Down “Gay Marriage” Bans

“…But on the other hand we hold that the new status will prove to be the worst kind of communism. The relations between the sexes, now so carefully guarded by religion and by parents, by law and by society, will become common and therefore corrupt. The family, the foundation of the state, will disappear…

The marriage tie will be weakened, and separation recurred to as an ordinary remedy. It is even probable that the duration of the bond will finds its limitation in expediency, and the marriage contract be assumed for limited periods, or for other purposes….”(1)

Next month the Supreme Court of the United States will hear gay marriage cases and decide upon gay marriage as a “constitutional right.” As much as I am opposed to the idea that two homosexual couples can actually be “married,” I hope that the Court will rule it as a constitutional right.

Yes, you heard me right. I hope the Court strikes down gay marriage bans as unconstitutional. 

I hope gay marriage goes nationwide. It’s not like it could possibly do any more damage to the marriage institution anyways. The institution of marriage was pretty much destroyed years ago, with legal marriage only offering a few “benefits” to those who enter into what used to be a permanent and binding covenant between a man and a woman sanctioned by law, religion and custom.

The conservative case against gay marriage will be weak. What will the Right do? Throw the Bible at them? They’ll just be branded as bigots in the throes of religious dogma. Say it destroys the rights of children? It’s not like children aren’t already being raised in a whole host of non-family arrangements based upon “anything goes”  legal policies and whatever contract adults choose to make with each other. Family ties are already so weak, “blended” and “rotational” that a few gay couples here and there raising kids probably won’t even be noticed.

Marriage used to have real and true meaning but not anymore. Marriage used to be an institution that safeguarded a father’s rights and the security of women and children. But now a man by default has the same rights and responsibilities to children fathered via a drunken one-night stand with a woman who is a complete stranger as he does within legal marriage. He can walk in or out of rights and responsibilities at his own whim and few women can expect to be provided for by husbands anymore.

Marriage used to be about men financially providing for women and children, but not anymore. Most women today enter into relationships with boy-men who become financially dependent upon them. Nearly half of all men have wives and live-in girlfriends who are better educated and have a better paying job than they do. Marriage was already bastardized a long time ago to hold both spouses jointly responsible for all debts, financial matters and decisions made in the family. Alimony, where for centuries a husband was required to provide for a wife for a lifetime, has now been reduced to some kind of gender-neutral and temporary “spousal support” and nothing more.

Marriage today has so little legal meaning that a marriage license is barely even worth the paper it’s printed on. It’s not about a man coming forward and calling upon a woman, of making his intentions to court her known and taking her under his wing and providing for her in the honorable state of marriage for a lifetime.

Marriage today is barely more “honorable” than just moving in together. Today men can expect to be able to live with a girlfriend for a while and, if they get “serious” enough about each other (or happen to have a few kids together) they might get married later. His girlfriend will split the bills with him and he gets free sex.

Now a man takes a woman as his wife and she helps him pay the rent and helps provide for him. And, oh yeah, he gets to have sex with her (if she’s in the mood, of course. If she’s not then he becomes the all-maligned “marital rapist”). A man can expect to gain with marriage these days a roommate that helps him pay the bills.

So what is marriage about? It’s not a permanent commitment. Either party can walk away whenever. It’s not a covenant. The vows don’t mean much as a person’s word isn’t worth anything these days. Pretty much anything that comes out of a person’s mouth these days is all BS until proven to be true. It’s not about raising children. Most children aren’t even raised within legal marriage with both parents in an intact and stable family unit. It’s not about paternity. It’s not a requirement for respectable sex. Is it about love? romance? insurance benefits? commitment?

There’s nothing sex-specific about “love” and “commitment” is there? So why, then, cannot anyone marry? After all a person can feel “love” for someone of the same sex and people have all kinds of sexual fetishes. It’s all just a personal and private thing between “two consenting adults” so why not have gay marriage?

Indeed, why not?

The foundation of marriage has been chipped away at for so long there’s barely anything left. Maybe the only way change can happen is by allowing gay marriage; by completely demolishing what’s left of the broken, chipped, cracked, weathered and destroyed foundation. Maybe only then will the institution completely collapse. Maybe only then can a social revolution occur to rebuild the foundation of marriage and restore it to it’s former meaningful and respected position in society. Maybe only then will things have gotten so bad and gone so far down that the only way to go is up. Maybe only then can the old fade away and a new beginning be possible.

So I say bring the popcorn and the beer and let’s get on with the show…

Recommended:

Considering how meaningless marriage has become, I hereby withdraw any opposition I’ve ever had to gay marriage

Posted in Commentary, Current Events, Marriage, Opinion Pieces, Personal Relationships, Political | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Woman’s Worst Enemy 

It’s often a mistaken belief among women that women can represent the interests of women the best; that a woman will be more sympathetic to another woman’s plight. The feminist movement has always promoted the theory that women can only have true representation by other women and that more women as lawyers, judges, and congress members will be a good thing for women because women can best legislate for other women. The reality, however, is often far different. Take the abortion debate, for instance. Women often say things like “if only men could get pregnant abortion would never be illegal” or something of the sort, but the reality is that men have been constantly shown to be more “pro-choice” than what even women are. This has held steady for decades. It is women that oppress other women. It is women that destroy the security of other women. Look at any other issue such as military duty of the draft for women. Once again, women are more likely to want women to be forced into war and into the traditional duties of men while men are more likely to be against it. When you put women in charge everything simply becomes one big b*tchfest. 

The reality is that women are often each other’s worst enemies in nearly every area of life. A woman would do best to plead her case in front of men than in front of women or both men and women. It is true that men do not always act as they should towards women, but most of these problems originate from the emasculation of men in our society. In the past if a man did not act right towards a woman, that woman could seek the protection and help of other men to straighten him out, but no such protections exist today because the men have all stepped back out of the way to let women run things. The results have been disastrous not only to women and children but also to men and all of society.

I have seen very often in life that women often turn to a fellow woman thinking she will be more sympathetic to her situation (because, after all, she’s a woman too and she would “understand” whatever it is that she’s going through or how she feels) just to find that the women are much worse than the men and often are simply bent on their destruction. Women often think “another woman would understand!” But another woman often will not understand nor care. My mother once pleaded to her mother-in-law for help and got the door slammed in her face. Where was her father-in-law? In the background, apparently, while his wife took charge of the situation to disastrous results. She just couldn’t understand how another woman and a fellow mother could be so insensitive to her- and she is not alone. Millions of women look to other women, other mothers, other women “just like them” who will “understand” and help them. We are taught all our lives in the post-feminist world about “sisterhood” and that men being in charge and in power in all areas of life leads to the oppression of women. But that is simply not how human nature works. 

There is this book by Taylor Caldwell called “Melissa” that I have always really liked because it showcases human nature very well. Melissa was an odd sort of woman who, after her mother’s death, marries a man for his money. She never fit in well with others in society and was regarded as strange by everyone else. Upon arriving at her new husband’s home her sister-in-law is determined to destroy her and break her down. Her sister-in-law has a bunch of guests staying over and Melissa notices that the men give her sympathetic looks while the women look at her with amusement and an evil gleam in their eyes. She remembers that her mother told her one time that women are a lot meaner that what men are and she starts to suspect that her mother might have been right. Towards the end of the book her sister-in-law has succeeded in breaking her down and putting enmity between her and her husband and has caused so many problems that Melissa plans to simply leave. Melissa’s sister-in-law calls upon Melissa’s brother and brother-in law for a conference about Melissa’s “behavior” trying to convince the men that Melissa is an immoral woman. Meanwhile, Melissa thinks to go to her sister for help (because surely it’s only natural that a sister would understand and help her more than a brother would?) but upon arriving at her sister’s home her sister screams at her, calls her a slut and slams the door in her face. Meanwhile, Melissa’s brother, sitting in conference with Melissa’s sister-in-law, is very suspicious of what the woman is saying and doesn’t really believe a word of it. After the conference he goes to find Melissa to find out what’s really going on. Of course, according to feminists, he would be very chauvinistic as earlier on in the book he slaps their sister across the face and tells her to sit down and shut up so he can talk because he’s the man of the house now. 

Me and a friend of mine were talking about this movie from 1945 called “Frontier Gal,” starring Yvonne de Carlo and Rod Cameron. At the end of the movie when Lorena is coming to her husband because she wants to live with him and take care of the home and their child it is another woman who convinces her husband to leave the house that way they might talk “woman to woman.” The woman then convineces Lorena that it is best if she is out of her daughter’s life forever because she would be no good for the girl. Once again, her husband stepped out of the way to let the women make decisions and disaster ensues (although the misunderstandings are cleared up in the end). 

If I close my eyes and think about any potential oppressors that I might have I always see the faces of other women. It’s true that sometimes women have to band together against a man who’s acting insensitive, but once the man is acting as he is supposed to he will be the better protector of the interests of the woman that what another woman will.

It is a bad thing for our society and a very bad thing for other women when men step back out of the way and let women take charge of things. Women are often each other’s competition. I see every day in the world that we live in that men are just stepping out of the way and letting women run everything. What women really need is for men to be the ones in charge of everything. A world where women are not allowed the vote or to involve themselves formally in politics would be the best for women. A world where men are in charge within the family and hold the political power in society is the best thing for women. A woman who finds herself in a bad situation would be best to turn to another man to help her. The worst thing she can do is turn to other women or try to manage on her own. Turning to another woman might be an intermediate step if she is in a bind but she is still better off having the help and protection of another man. If a woman puts herself under the protection and authority of a man (a man that is moral and masculine) her best interests will be served. In addition, I believe that most men will step up to the plate and be responsible if women are depending upon them to be so. 

There is really no other way. I see it as a very bad and depressing thing that there are a record number of women in congress and women as lawyers and a ten-fold increase in women being breadwinners over the last couple of decades. The longer this continues, the worse things will get. 

Posted in Commentary, On Being a Woman, Personal Relationships | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Oh Yeah, You’re Bad 

I’ve seen often of men in MRA circles thinking themselves so high and mighty and going to extraordinary lengths to find any area where they can put down women or claim themselves to be superior in some way. There seems to be this innate jealousy among them that women have the upper hand in sexual matters. But they just love to expound on the theory that it won’t last forever, that women are only attractive for a very short amount of time and then are nothing more than old hags who are “on the shelf” and forever forgotten about while they, the almighty male creatures that they are, continuing being hot stuff for the rest of their entire lives. 

They seem to think that women (young, hot women) are still going to be chasing after them even when they are senior citizens. I’ve also seen a lot of complaints that older and middle aged  men who do online dating will put down that they are willing to date a woman who is even as young as eighteen years old (even though women rarely are willing to date a man so much younger). I’ve seen a lot of young women complaining about this as well, exasperated that these men think so highly of themselves to really think young women of that age are going to all flock around them or even be interested at all. 

The one thing that we hear all the time (now that women are putting careers before marriage and children) is that female fertility will hit its peak early on and that youth is important for women who want to have families. We also hear that women having babies when they are older can put their offspring’s health in jeopardy. While all of this is true, the one thing that nobody ever focuses on is that men, even though they don’t go through a kind of menopause where their fertility officially ends, become less fertile as they age too. Actually, male fertility starts to decline around the same time female fertility does. Although most men can still father children throughout their entire lifespans, their ability to do so lessens as they age and men take just as much a risk as women do that their offspring will be unhealthy if they father children at middle age or later. This isn’t to say that men or women can’t procreate healthy children later in life (after all, my mother had two healthy children in her forties without any problems) but is just simply to say that youth is important for both males and females who want to have families, not just for women. If, evolutionary speaking, men would be attracted to younger women because they could bear children, then would not too women be sexually attracted to younger men who would be in peak physical shape and also be able to father healthy offspring? 

Of course, part of a man’s attractiveness is what he accomplishes in life. A younger woman might be attracted to a man who has status and who she perceives to be an authority figure. It’s not really all that unusual but unless the guy’s extremely rich it’s unrealistic to think that hot twenty-something year old females are going to flock around him even when he’s a senior citizen. Contrary to the narcissistic beliefs of many men in the “manosphere,” men do have a “shelf life.” Let’s get real, no woman wants to date her grandpa. Unless the guy’s Hugh Hefner (and even he’s not so virile anymore), it’s unrealistic to think he’s really going to still “have it” when he’s a senior citizen and his b*@ls are sagging to the ground. There have been a lot of older men (like kings and other powerful men) with younger women (sometimes a lot of younger women) throughout history but these women often didn’t have any choice in the matter or, once again, were with the man because of the extraordinary riches and influence he had. Once again, this simply doesn’t describe your average Joe out there in the dating/marriage market.

The way I see it is that women are instantly attractive when they reach physical maturity. A woman doesn’t have to accomplish anything to be attractive to men. She can offer a man her body and promise to have his children. She can offer herself to a man. A man, however, can’t just walk up to a woman and go “here I am baby, what you see is what you get!” Oh please.  Men have to achieve status in life to up their value in the dating and marriage market. Generally I think it takes men about a decade longer to really up their market value but men probably have another decade longer than women of being more attractive. But that attractiveness will decrease with time and men delude themselves if they really think otherwise. Besides, most couples are around the same age and it’s generally the exception to find older men with much younger women and older women with much younger men. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen or that it can’t last, but simply that it isn’t the norm. 

Another issue is older women in the media. It’s true that older women are not quite as represented in movies and television as older men, but let’s examine the facts of life here. Most movies and shows, unless they are strictly romance, have a male lead (and where there is an exception to this I’ve found that older women are just as represented as younger women). I’ve also seen that a lot of shows and movies tend to cater to the younger generation, which means younger male and female leads .That’s just how it goes. Most men don’t want entertainment in the way of movies, television or music that is female dominated. Women routinely will listen to music sung by men or watch shows dominated by male actors (in fact sometimes they prefer it) but most men won’t. Look at any man’s iPod and, unless the guy’s a complete fruitcake, you probably won’t find a lot of songs sung by women. You might find one or two, but for the most part men like listening to music sung by men; they like movies and shows with men doing masculine things. I guess that’s because men need to have an area of life that is all theirs, that women are mostly excluded from. 

Nothing lasts forever. All things fade away in time, and a man’s virility is no exception. There are some men who are still attractive even as senior citizens, but then again there are some women that are too. A young woman might feel an attractiveness to an older man because she perceives him as a father figure, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to date him. 

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Swiss Family Robinson

The other day me and my husband were looking for something to watch and while he was pointing out one movie I saw down below a movie I haven’t seen for a very long time, Swiss Family Robinson. It is an old Disney movie and one I remember watching in my childhood. It is about a family (father, mother and their three sons) who become shipwrecked close to an uninhabited island. The captain and crew have apparently up and abandoned the ship, leaving the family trapped inside. Since the ship was abandoned they now have legal claim upon it and upon reaching the nearby island safely the father and two oldest sons go back to the ship to start bringing its contents on shore and use the materials they find to build a treehouse and other things that the family needs.

The movie has always been kind of a fantasy to me. I have always had vivid memories of the movie but had kind of forgotten about it over the years and I was very happy to see the movie again. It’s a movie that children can enjoy, as there is nothing bad in the movie and children undoubtedly would like all of the animals in the movie but there is also a lot of action, adventure and romance making it a good movie for adults to watch as well.

It’s kind of interesting how this movie has stuck with me over the years. It seems as much a fantasy to me now as it did when I was a child, only in a different way that I couldn’t really perceive as a child. What really stands out for me about the movie is how old-fashioned the movie is. From the very beginning of the movie it is the father and the oldest sons who are responsible for getting the family to shore safely. The oldest two sons have a very strict sense of duty to protect their mother and the youngest son (who looks barely older than maybe ten years old and is not really old enough to do the work the men do yet or make any big decisions). It is the father and oldest two sons that go back to the ship to salvage its contents and it is the father and oldest sons who build the tree house and do all the work Western society has always traditionally assigned to men. As well the father and oldest son always carry the guns to protect the family.

There is a clear hierarchy, which is also clearly stated in the movie, in which the oldest son takes charge if something happens to the father and then it goes down the line to the next son and so on. None of the men in the movie ever talk down about women. They never push any woman around nor treat any woman in a disrespectful way in the slightest. The mother’s position in the family is clearly one of dependence upon her husband and sons but she holds a high status in the family. Her opinions matter and she does have authority within the family. Nobody challenges her nor overrules her when she states that she does not want her youngest son up in the treehouse until it is finished and safe. She and her youngest son stay on the ground while the men are building the house. It is also the mother who ultimately decides that it is time to go ahead and let the two oldest sons travel around the island to see what they can discover and see if they can possibly find help. At every step of the way the mother’s opinion matters and is highly valued.

Later in the movie the two sons set out to sail around the island. They eventually run into the pirates from earlier on in the movie. Their boat gets wrecked and they help to free two captives of the pirates. They are only able to free the youngest of the two captains, who they believe to be a young boy. They lose the pirates and have to make it back to their home on foot. On the way, however, they discover that the captive they freed is actually a girl. Her grandfather (the other captive they didn’t free as he insisted there was no time to free him and to leave him there as he was worth ransom anyways and they wouldn’t touch him) had made her cut her hair and disguise herself as a boy so the pirates wouldn’t know she was a girl. From then on this changes things a lot. The boys insist that if she would have just said she was a girl they would have made things easier on her, which they now do.

The movie is just really old-fashioned all the way through. Traditional gender roles are promoted in the movie. Neither of the two women ever express any desire to do any of the things the men do. The men never ask for assistance from the women in any of their masculine tasks. You don’t ever see the women fighting men twice their size or chopping up wood or doing any of the things the mainstream media today shows women doing. Roberta (the girl they rescued) actually cried when the boys discovered she was a girl because she did not want to have short hair or dress like a boy. The boys take care of her and never act indecent towards her or try to push her to “man up” and get over her circumstances or fight like one of the boys. They even rescue a zebra so that she won’t have to walk all the way back as she was very tired and was having a hard time keeping up. When they make it back to their treehouse Roberta is overjoyed at getting to finally wear a pretty dress again.

There is also some fighting between the oldest two boys over leadership, and predictably, over the girl too, in which the oldest son always wins. Roberta expresses her desire to be back in Europe but in the end she stays on the island and plans to marry Fritz, the oldest son. The boys fend off snakes (Fritz actually wrestles with one) and wild animals on the journey back to the treehouse. Both Roberta and Ernst (the second oldest son after Fritz) actually challenge Fritz’s leadership at one point but end up following him anyways. Although the two sons fight to win Roberta’s affections, Fritz always comes out ahead. Ernst is more studious and Fritz shows more traditional masculinity and it is Fritz that Roberta ends up with, in contrast to today’s romance movies where the girl always falls for the more “thoughtful” or “emotional” type of guy.

This movie is just a rare find. It was just wonderful and traditional all the way through; a very innocent and happy movie. I don’t know that I can recall very many movies at all like this one that was just wonderful in every way or that was so old-fashioned. Even most movies and novels set in the past still find a way to write in feminist heroines and modern-day values. But there was none of that in this movie and I guess that’s why it’s stuck with me so much over the years and why I still love it so much to this day. It’s just something to forever dream and fantasize about.

**Update: The movie I’m referring to is the original Disney movie made in 1960

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