The Appearance of Impropriety

Former United States President Abraham Lincoln once stated, concerning who he was as a man, president and a public official, “I must not only be chaste, but above suspicion.” Mr. Lincoln knew that propriety- in both his public and private life- was a necessity, as all of our ancestors once did, in order to be seen as credible, respected and taken seriously.

When it comes to such issues that society deals with today, such as sexual harassment, or even the marijuana issue, for instance, it is clear that our society is asking all of the wrong questions, as well as focusing on all of the wrong issues, and this is mainly so because nobody wants to touch the electric barbed-wired fence that is feminism or any of its related issues. As well, Americans in general seem to have this whole “It’s a free country, so I can do whatever the Hell I damned well please” kind of outlook on life- even though such a view is largely fictional and holds no realistic standing under the law.

Law enforcement officers on every level are held to certain codes of ethical behavior as they are representatives of the law and of our social customs and values- and the President of the United States is the highest law enforcement officer in the land. It’s even more telling that ethical codes of conduct are being dropped even in the lowest standing trial courts of the land, where shootings and violence are now routine occurrences and foul-mouthed behavior has even become commonplace amongst prosecution and defense lawyers and judges.

Whether anyone loves Donald Trump or hates him, he is, nonetheless, a reflection of who we are as a people. He directly reflects upon us- and any group of people, if they are to survive and coexist with one another, must have a certain set of rules, laws and policies that govern their behavior and their interactions with one another. Culture and law are not separate from one another, but rather reflect upon and influence each other.

My take on this sexual harassment issue is that, yes, it is a load of BS. I think most people at this point would agree with such a consensus, despite the prevalence of the #MeToo movement and other “girl power” schemes that encourage women to be “strong” and stand up against “misogynistic” men (no mention of men having any actual duty here, other than perhaps to be “good little boys” who follow the rules feminism has laid out and be dictated by the whims and rule of females). However, the laws and policies against sexual harassment- as well as other related social issues- came into being for a reason.

As a society we can conclude that family is important, the care and well-being of children is important and essential, and as well, if we can conclude all of these things, we can also easily conclude that sexuality- and in particular female sexuality- is of upmost importance to society. Sexuality plays a central role in all of our lives from the very moment that we are born (if not before). Therefore, the regulation of how we (both males and females) express ourselves sexually and what we do with our sexuality is always going to be of concern to society.

Where once social custom and common law largely dictated the “rules” regarding sex and sexuality as well as family arrangements, all of the old restraints and boundaries have largely been done away with in modern society, necessitating the creation of entirely new polices and laws to take their place because the behavior (including sexual behavior and codes of conduct) of individuals in any society must always be subject to regulation and boundaries. Without regulation, there would be no civilization as individuals would have free reign to trample all over the rights, dignity and personal/property boundaries of one another. It would be a true case of survival-of-the-fittest and the people would still eventually have to come together to form a system of regulation and government, even if only informally.

If we, as a society, wish to do away with the post-feminist polices that have disrupted the order of family relations, relations between men and women and have created distrust, suspicion, burn-out, and placed antagonism between personal and romantic relationships and men and women, then we must replace the current laws and polices with other laws and policies that we might conclude to be more effective and fair to all parties.

It is not unreasonable for society to conclude that, with males being physically larger on average and stronger than females, as well as being the ones who penetrate and impregnate, that men should be held to higher standards of behavior in regards to how they conduct themselves towards and around women. The same holds true in regards to interactions of adults around children (even though these restraints, too, are largely being eradicated). We’ve dropped the idea that men should take care of women to replace it with the (entirely irrational and ineffective) fantasy idea that men and women should be “equals” and compete with one another entirely independent one sex from the other. Our laws, policies and social customs now reflect this viewpoint. But is such a thing rational, effective or productive? And to what ends?

Yes, I, as a woman, take offense at many aspects of Donald Trump’s behavior towards women. Blatantly disregarding and refusing chivalry to the First Lady, multiple divorces, offensive public discourse regarding women, scandals surrounding alleged extramarital affairs with porn stars and Playboy models, all show an appearance of impropriety, turning the presidency into little more than a joke and a position that cannot be respected nor taken seriously and clearly showcasing how low we as a society have sunk to. (If our law enforcement officers and elected officials do not even respect the rule of law nor hold themselves to ethical standards of behavior then why should anyone else? How can we respect such a rule of law or system of government at all?)

Without a doubt, all men are thinking the same things that Donald Trump has gone and said out loud. It’s just the way men are. They look, they fantasize, they like women and they like *****. Nonetheless, social custom (as well as common-sense) used to dictate that, just because a man thinks it, he should, nonetheless, be held to a certain standard of behavior in how he talks and behaves around women. Custom used to also dictate that women had a corresponding duty to be chaste and command respect from men, which is just as equally important.

As even some writers in the manosphere have stated, speaking out against their own fellow men, there isn’t a father in his right mind who would want his own daughter to come into contact with men who comport themselves in such a way; with “players” and men who act in narcissistic, abusive, Machiavellian, sadistic and perverted ways- the very behaviors that the red-pill and Pick-Up-Artist types teach men to become; the very behaviors that feminism has also allowed and encouraged. And being that Donald Trump is often heralded as a hero in the manosphere I’d say this is very telling for who and what we have become as a people. Why? Because all standards of ethical and appropriate sexual behavior and boundaries have been washed away. We are a civilization in despair seeking hedonism to relieve the pain, loneliness, brokenness and torment of our modern existence. We are a civilization without restraint, without control.

We can create any policies and laws that we as a people want. However, there is a cause-and-effect relationship with any law and policy and each law and policy proposed has to also be examined for its effects upon society and the individuals who will be subjected to said laws and policies. They must be evaluated for their effectiveness as well as reasonableness. The current laws, customs and policies simply do not function well to create order, stability, harmony, and prosperity. They don’t function well and will, inevitably, have to be re-written and done away with to be replaced with more workable and logical laws and policies- no matter who it might offend. And it will always offend somebody.

Gender equality doesn’t work. It’s that simple. Men and women are not the same nor is our sexuality the same. Until we, as a society, can acknowledge such a thing, there will be constant antagonism and war between men and women. There will be no peace. Nor can we make this a conservative vs liberal thing, or a Republican vs Democrat thing. It is a society-wide issue that reflects upon our culture, our nation and our values as a whole.

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Not All Women Are Like That

I know that I have challenged you men to tell me that I was wrong about it all, to tell me that I speak untruths about the reality of life and the world around me, yet not a one of you have done so. Yet instead you call me one-in-a-million, a rare gem and flower in a world of evil, greed and superficiality. I’d like to think that it were true, as all humans would, that I was truly something special and different, yet I can nonetheless guarantee that I might well be able to assemble a battalion of women who think as I do; who feel as I do; who believe and love as I do.

What many do not realize is that even in a court of law, an expert witness upon the stand- even where generally accepted as reliable forensic evidence is concerned, is only stating an opinion. It is then up to the trier of fact alone to take in the totality of the circumstances to draw a rational conclusion as to whether or not said testimony and evidence presented is reliable, accurate, factual, relevant or likely to accurately shed light upon the truth of the matter asserted.

Take your cult leader who says to the world that All Women Are Like That and put him upon the stand to testify. Is he rational? Is he competent? Does he bring his own biases and prejudices to the witness stand? Does he have a personal interest in the outcome of this search for the truth? Does he have motive and reason to falsify his testimony? Would a rational and competent judge impeach him from the stand and instruct the jury to disregard his testimony as being overtly biased and likely false? Does he have a reputation and history for speaking untruths?

Though the universe is yet bound by the laws of physics and mathematics- laws which are universal truths and which none can escape- scientific theories are just that- theories. They are tried and tested and retried and retested in succession- year after year- by human beings wishing to shape the world to their own beliefs and perceptions and further understand and explore the mysteries of the world around them. This is done for a multitude of reasons, such as perhaps mere curiosity all the way up to the bettering of life for all of humanity. The trier of fact- that trier of fact being you, that trier of fact being me– must look carefully at the research, the methods, the individuals in question and the chain of custody for which the research or evidence has gone through in order to arrive at a conclusion whether or not the research and the individual(s) testifying to it can or cannot be trusted- whether or not it is likely to be truthful.

For many men, all women really are like what the manosphere claims them to be. This would likely be so because in their world all women really are like that, because like attracts like and these are the only women that they go around chasing, thus confirming- at least in their minds- their own biases. They don’t know any other kind of woman exists, because they’ve never met one, because they form their opinions based upon their own biases and then apply those biases to the world around them. They chase a certain type of woman and then legitimately believe that nothing else exists.

But a woman is more than capable of loving deeply and truly. Yes, I love ****- but only because I love the man that it is attached to. So wondrous, so beautiful, I think during the act that he’s so good, he feels so good; could anything feel better? My mind is filled with the thoughts of him being inside of me, of him taking all of me in the most beautiful and wondrous way that I am made as a woman. Promiscuity is damaging- the very thought of it- because of the wondrous way in which I am made. Valuable and precious it is, which is why the taking of it via force, lack of consent, or by some other form of deceptive means is psychologically devastating to the point that some women can never heal from such abuses.

I don’t think of partying, bar-hopping, of being used or abused or living a life “wild and free.” A cold beer or wine holds no appeal unless I have him by my side to love and hold me. I’m attracted to his strength, his dominance, the feel and weight of his body, the solidness of it and the way I feel so full inside of me- full because he’s inside of me, knowing he’ll never leave me, that every inch of me is beautiful, loved and cherished. It’s better if he errs on the side of seriousness than foolishness, hardness rather than softness, for I am not happy if I feel as though I cannot hold him tight and depend upon him.

But sex is more, it is about that emotional connection, about that closeness to him that cannot be replaced by any other relationship, whether in the form of friendships, relatives or acquaintances. If he’s inside of me, then all thoughts disappear to be replaced by him and only him. He is my protection, my provision, there is an economic basis, need and responsibility, but I can go back to many years ago and produce documentary evidence showing my love for him and my written and verbal testimony to that love.

It is that love, for without it life is bleak and holds no appeal. It is that need not to be alone and to be complete inside. It is that love for which even the most damaged modern woman or man still longs for on the inside. It is that love that only grows stronger through the hard times, the fights, the everything, because he knows me inside and out, as I know him. It’s the kind of love that endures over decades because none other could ever love or know me that way. Don’t discount me as a bitch when I speak of responsibilities, for humans create these responsibilities out of love and a need for one another. If I tell him that he is my one and only one, that my love is true, it is because I am his, as he in return is mine. It is the same beauty of humanity that has endured and remained unchanged throughout all of time. Not all women are as you perceive them to be, if only you were looking in the right places with the right intentions, you’d see that a woman’s heart could be pure and true as the finest of all treasures.

Because Women Wanted it That Way

I think it is one of the saddest things, that at Christmas dinner I noticed my cousin was starting to act like a royal jackass to me and the other women in the family. It was completely unprecedented and I had to wonder what on earth was going on with him. This is the cousin that I grew up with, the same fun-loving one that used to laugh and joke and generally have a good time with everyone.

He got married a few years back and they have a daughter (I think she’s about 3) together. But I also know that my cousin has never been the primary breadwinner for his family and I’ve seen what has amounted to him acting very un-masculine in many respects, even going so far as to engage in lots of “baby-talk” and the like with others around him, signifying that he’s been engaging in a lot of primary child-care work. He also looked pretty uncomfortable whenever his wife mentioned to my husband that she was working two jobs there for a while to take care of them, which made me wonder if there was something more going on with him, like perhaps some underlying feeling of emasculation or inferiority, and then, given a couple of comments that I overheard with him saying that “everything has to be PC these days” I had to wonder in all seriousness if he’d begun to frequent manosphere or red-pill blogs. I have no way of knowing if he does (or has) for sure, of course.

The thing is that his wife is a wonderful woman and my cousin is a great guy. As far as I know, he’s never had any legal trouble and hasn’t ever done any drugs or really consumed alcohol hardly at all, and in his younger years he’d always frequent the gym and stay in good shape and everything. But I noticed too that there was this subtle antagonism between him and his wife, an antagonism that I’ve never seen before, like she was keeping him at arm’s length. In fact, over the years they’ve always been so close; always talking about their future together and hoping they’d last a lifetime the way our grandparents did. Though it’s not my business or anybody’s else’s (for the most part) about what is or isn’t happening in their relationship, it’s also true that sometimes those on the outside can see things that those on the inside, in the midst of the drama, cannot. And I saw things I had never seen before.

Though I’ve never cried before over my grandfather’s passing (he wouldn’t want me or anybody else to) I did cry for a while whenever I got home, thinking what he might have said had he still been alive today and had been there.

My grandfather was a product of a generation of men who knew what it meant to be honorable and chivalrous towards women and those weaker than themselves, and knew what it took to have a marriage that lasted a lifetime and knew the meaning and value of hard work. They weren’t “weak,” they weren’t “beta,” they were real men in a world where everyone knew their place and what was expected of them.

There were times when him and my grandmother were still raising their children that he would work at the factory for 12 hours a day, oftentimes 7 days a week. He was also a WWII veteran who went to war straight out of high-school, never complaining or whining that women weren’t drafted, whenever his country called him to. My grandfather also worked for a long time as an electrician, and they resided in various locations around the country, primarily in California, Texas, Arkansas and Illinois. My grandmother was telling me about it once how you would just get used to the routine of getting up where she’d fix his breakfast and lunch and then he’d come home, and they’d go to sleep, only to get up and do it all over again the next day. Contrast that life to the life now where we have nothing but a generation of complainers and men that won’t grow up and have no sense of any ethical duty that they owe towards women.

But it’s not all the men’s fault. The fact of the matter is that most men, I believe, would rather take care of women. I’ve had men e-mail me and leave comments on the site saying even how they’d love to have lasting relationships, be chivalrous and take care of women, but that they have no success with women when they do so. Some have even commented that, from what they see, women want nothing more than men who are jerks.

It has to be understood that men out there in the manosphere or red-pill blogs aren’t out there promoting their ideals or adapting their behaviors unilaterally according to their own selfish desires, but rather they are responding to what they believe that women want.
Have you ever considered why, as policy, that men made more money than women? That only men were allowed to vote? That men were considered heads-of household? That men primarily have always held positions higher up in companies and political office? The one thing that society refuses to consider is that this was the cultural and legal way because women wanted it that way.

Women want their men to be strong and dominant and in a world where women are outpacing men in all areas of life (academically, politically, economically, socially) the game changes to be one of men becoming sadists, jerks, and assholes in order to please their women or have any romantic success with them. Most men, from what it seems (I’m not a man so correct me if I’m truly wrong here, I’m just going by observation and what I’ve been able to research) don’t really want to be jerks, engage in BDSM or any of those things. It’s actually women who want those things. Consider that the Fifty-Shades culture was promoted primarily by women, not men.

If women are superior to their men naturally in everyday life or “equal” to them, then the only thing left is for men to degrade women. But the reality is that nobody is truly happy that way. Game-playing doesn’t last. Sooner or later the mask is going to slip off and then the truth emerges. Are you genuine or has it all been a put-on show?

Men of the past didn’t have to degrade their women because everybody (men, women and children) “knew their place” and everybody had their own roles to play. Men could be chivalrous and not turn women off because women were still largely dependent on men. I depend upon my husband to protect me and provide for all my needs. It’s the way that I bond with him- truly, really, deeply. He doesn’t have to play games, though he does have to be masculine. He doesn’t have to degrade me because I’m already weaker than him and dependent on him. I rejected independence and paid employment primarily because I didn’t want to create that separation. I wanted to rely on him as bigger and stronger than me so I didn’t have to think about the outside world and could just hold onto him and let him lead me. It allows him to be dominant in a non-abusive and non-degrading way that is beneficial instead of harmful and counterproductive and I don’t have to feel bad afterward but rather happy and content.

After we were first married he tried to degrade me and call me names one time during sex and I started crying, yelling at him and telling him to get off of me and not to touch me. I didn’t like it. I wanted to feel safe and protected in the arms of a strong man that I depended on, not degraded. Guess what? He never did it again. But we were both young, and he was probably only doing it because he’d heard it passed around that “women like jerks” and erroneously thought it would turn me on. Once he discovered it wouldn’t work, he stopped doing it.

And women need to understand this. Men are generally clueless about women anyway and what women want but it’s made all the worse when feminist-minded women are the only ones given the spotlight in the media, speaking about what “all” women supposedly want. It’s a very confusing thing for both sexes because nobody knows how to act or what is expected of them.

This is where women have to be assertive and make it known to their men what they really want. If you’re into a guy but he’s acting like a jerk then you need to let him know that you don’t like it and that you aren’t going to consider taking things further with him unless he gives you the respect and consideration you deserve and require. This doesn’t mean being dominant. It’s not asserting power over men for women to tell men what they want and what they need or demand respect. It is essential.

If the modern woman continues to demand that men put on the clown suit and play that role, then men will do it. However, for all the women out there (and the ones that contact me too who are traditional ladies) who want tradition, you need to speak up. Let your voice be heard that feminists don’t speak for you and also that men engaging in games that the red-pill teaches is not acceptable behavior. Tell the men in your life that you want them to be more traditional, chivalrous and they will oblige. Who cares what others think? The ones who put you down have probably already destroyed their lives and failed in their relationships and want to drag you down to their level to feel better about themselves and raise their own value. We are the products of a generation of men and women who taught their sons and daughters how to fail in life– plain and simple. Our parents are all divorced and a product of a largely spoiled generation that refused to ever grow up. Their only legacy- unlike the legacy of my grandfather’s generation and the generations that came before- is one of devastation and destruction.

Men and women don’t trust each other- and for good reason. Things weren’t even this bad whenever I was growing up (and that was only a short time ago). I don’t think men really want to treat women bad, they just feel that they don’t have any other choice. Consider the culture around us and where it’s heading. It’s plain awful. But men are only adapting according to women’s preferences (no matter how much they insist otherwise). In a world where women depend upon men to provide for them and take care of them, men don’t have to be jerks because they already have an important part to play in society and are in the dominant position because women need them. Society today says women don’t- and shouldn’t- need men.

I don’t like it when my husband acts weak or soft and I’ve told him so. There are times when he can get away with it but, especially if things are bad in the relationship, he’s going to have to step up and act more dominant than he might normally act. There are times when a man has to be more serious and put aside foolishness in accordance with the needs of his woman and his family. But that doesn’t mean playing games. Game playing doesn’t work in the long-term. Any man can be a jerk and get a woman’s attention short-term, just the same as any woman can flaunt herself in front of a man and get his attention in the short-term- but it doesn’t last. Men have just as much of a need to bond as what women do (more, perhaps), whether or not they will admit it (would you seriously like it if they did admit just how vulnerable they are to needing a woman? Probably not. As a woman you just want to instinctively know and feel that it’s true) and history can teach to us what works and doesn’t work. Isn’t that why we study it?

A civilization where women are dominant over men and men do nothing more than play games is simply not practical and in the end nobody wants such a thing and everybody is miserable. Plain and simple. So, as we head into 2018, I think it’s time for society to make a change and time for traditionalist men and women to finally have our voices heard. And trust me, I think that day is finally coming. I might have been a lone freak 5 or 6 years ago promoting traditional gender roles and modesty (which is at the heart of a woman’s happiness and even sexual pleasure), but not now.

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The Failure of Feminism

Listen to Me/Victimology Part II

I’ve been a bit ill as of late and have honestly been quite apathetic in regards to my writings and other activities I normally take delight in doing. But anyone who knows me knows I’m not the type to just sit around feeling sorry for myself. The worse I feel, the more inclined I am to get up and move around more and get even more work done. Today I continued on with more deep cleaning that I have been doing for quite a while now. When I was done I had the house deep cleaned to perfection, with windows/windowsills, floors, refrigerator, bathrooms, and living room sparkling to perfection. Afterwards, I changed and cleaned up and lit a scented candle and opened up the main window in the living room, letting the fresh sunlight pour into the house. I then sat there and looked out the window, and looked around at the home that I’ve made and kept up.

It was then that I knew in my heart, that if the only thing I ever accomplished in life was this- the making of a home and family and finding stable love- that I had done well. Despite all, I had this peace in my heart when I took in the stillness and beauty of my own home, a home and stable life created when I was so young. Inside of me, as it always does, I then started having the stirrings in my heart to write again. I wanted to say what I have just said here, that I may not have some fancy Master’s Degree, I may not have some glamorous job or paid employment of any kind. I don’t bring home a paycheck, but I know I’ve done more good in this simple stable life I’ve created in a patriarchal marriage than what I could have ever probably done as a modern woman with career and independence in an “equal” relationship.

This point was drove home to me whenever my husband came home late this evening and I was encouraged all the more that I had something in my heart to write about. I never cared what he was out doing, because I knew he was committed to me, but I was kind of curious. The reason he was late was unexpected: Fox News had asked him for a brief interview for his “opinion” on some local going-ons (he turned them down, btw). Nothing too exciting, just the usual stuff- unwed motherhood, perpetual adolescence, illicit drugs and infant neglect. This is such a common problem in society that it’s not even shocking. In fact, it’s become the norm.

Going into the Victim and Women’s Rights Movement, it’s easy to see the bureaucracies that have been set up all around the country: child support, rape crisis, domestic violence crisis, counseling centers, etc… These are all attempts to overthrow the patriarchy and outlaw the policing, regulating, stigmatizing, and legislating of women’s sexuality.

But society has traditionally regulated women’s sexuality and imposed various forms of male guardianship on women- and there’s a reason for this. Just like the latest fad diet cannot replace the age-old tried-and-true reality of the laws of thermodynamics, neither can victim and feminist legislation replace the tried and true model of patriarchy. I am unaware, even dating back to ancient Mesopotamia, of any society leaving an actual written history or legacy or achieving of any scientific and social advancements that did not have political and family structures that were patriarchal (it’s worth noting that women still had great status though even in these ancient societies, btw and could still own property and engage in business if they so desired).

If you are a young girl in her teenage years or woman in her early 20s then you need to listen to this. (I signal out this age group because these are the formative years, and also the age group Pick-Up-Artists target due to these young women’s lack of life experience and knowledge of men). I know what our laws state. I know what these organizations do and I know that this is not the kind of life that you want to go down.

Let’s say you are a 16-year-old girl. Do you ever feel the stirrings inside of you to be with a young and handsome man and have babies? Do you dream of love and romance? Even when society tells you college and career first? I know I did- and that’s OK. It’s perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you feel this instinct then don’t deny it. That’s how you’re made and it’s a beautiful thing- but it must be done the right way.

You can close the doors, and, without shame whenever you’re all alone, truly marvel in the preciousness that is your body; the preciousness in the way you are made as a female. It’s very distinct from the way a male is made. It’s OK to be made weaker. It’s OK to be more vulnerable and emotional. It’s OK to sometimes have fear or a sense of wonderment at the uniquely female aspects of life (menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, etc…) And trust me when I say this, men do like it. Men aren’t looking down at you for these distinctly female things (most marvel over it, actually). Men still obsess over women, women’s sexuality, the female form, femininity. If they could truly “go their own way” they wouldn’t be devoting hours upon hours to talking about and obsessing about women non-stop. And also trust that men aren’t going to judge you or think you’re honestly worth less because you’re weaker or have less career achievements. Guys like your femininity. Strong men love it and they also love that you love it. Love the things that define you as distinctly different from a man.

But know that, no matter what society tells you or what promises are made to you, only share your body with your husband. And I think it’s good to devote time to looking for a husband first. Despite the modern world, you can find a good husband if you want one. And there’s something precious too about marrying a man from your youth, perhaps your “high-school sweetheart” or a guy your age you grew up with or hung around from your area. Marriage at a very young age, even in your late teenage years, will protect you and guard your sexuality throughout these formative years and as you age more into maturity, you will have preserved your femininity and can look in delight with peace at the years gone by. A lot of the old pressures for women to marry young was more than likely to protect them and guard their sexuality in all likelihood.

And trust me, it will be good. Better than what you could ever imagine. And if you doubt what I’m saying, then look into the laws the women’s movement changed. Look into what these organizations and advocacy groups are really all about. Take a critical look at the world around you and then ask yourself if that’s something you want to get caught up in, if that’s the life you want to live. The first and foremost thing for a young woman is to not share her body with any man other than her husband and, second, not to have illegitimate children. There can be no exceptions to this.

This is the reality, that a woman would be better off having her sexuality policed. I don’t know one unwed mother that doesn’t regret putting the father’s name on the birth certificate and pursuing child-support. I don’t know one young woman who’s been caught up in such drama regarding promiscuity and illegitimate children that probably doesn’t wish, deep down inside, that a male relative would have just slapped her across the face rather than having been caught up in the system or have a slew of sexual encounters with men who wanted nothing more than sex with her. And that’s what it is, advocacy for victims and abused women and unwed mothers belongs somewhere else other than the government agencies. You’re just a case number to them, nothing more. Trust me when I say that these organizations will re-victimize the already victimized and nothing more.

What should an unwed mother do? Find a husband. It should also be enforced upon husbands the responsibility to financially support their wives. Make no mistake- the financial support of wives is of paramount importance and has long been the defining point of patriarchy and there is a valid reason for why female financial dependence upon husbands or male relatives is so important.

Nature has placed infant children by default within the care of their mothers, but nature has made men physically and socially superior to women. If an unwed mother cannot marry the actually father, then it should be another man who will accept responsibility for her and the child. And his rights and responsibilities as the father (regardless of any biological relationship) should be enforced upon the marriage. Except in special circumstances as to be determined by a judge, unwed fathers (or even divorced ones for that matter) shouldn’t be liable for any kind of child support. That’s just another bureaucratic system set up by the women’s movement to destroy the stability of families and, just as with the other new victims’ laws, has done absolutely no good to anyone. It serves nothing more than to enable the wrong-doers and finger-pointers and perpetuate a cycle of victimization. Sure, the man might “go free” without responsibility but there are other areas in life where women do the same where men can’t. It just is what it is. Men and women cannot be made equal through coercive legislation.

Unwed mothers actually had more protections when social stigma outcast them and their children than they do today. Don’t believe that? Don’t believe any of this at all that I speak about? Seek for yourself whether what I’m saying is true or not- dig deep and think critically and rationally without letting emotion overwhelm you- then go and form your own conclusions.

Every time I hear of one more case of drama, of drugs, of a girl having a baby with a man she won’t stay with and then having another baby with a subsequent man, every drug case, every rape, every sexual harassment incident, I’m reminded that society has put women into positions that allow them to be victimized and that society has removed all controls and restraints on sexuality and appropriate family arrangements that would give children and young people the proper start in life.

I don’t really care if people hate me or love me, and neither should anyone else. People who are going to hate you don’t need a reason to do so, and oftentimes you will find that even if you give in and live the life they say you should be living (ie., finding paid employment) that they will still hate you. So let those who will hate you, hate you still. Let those who will love you, love you still.

I have been different than others all my life, but that’s OK. I’ve known no other life than a truly patriarchal one where I married young and never worked. But we are the only family that is still intact that I know of that hasn’t had a whole slew of problems that are commonplace in today’s post-feminist society. He’s still my first and only husband, only one to father my child. I’ve never brought up a child in an unstable environment with illegal drugs or any other problems that are so common.

The only way to know how much worth and value a woman has in the patriarchal system as a wife and mother is to take her out of that system- that’s when all Hell erupts and it becomes clear how much the women (women like myself who have become a rarity) society looked down upon as “childish parasites” were really worth and how much good she really did, a good she could never have done competing with men out in the world and having a career and independence- a good life that feminism and the pursuit of equality cannot compete with.

Previous Related Posts on this Topic:

Victimology
The Legitimacy Principle and the Good of Patriarchy
The Wrongs of the Men’s Movement

Taheyya Kariokka

“I love my work. I love it, really. I don’t love anything in my life but my work.”- Tahia Carioca, 1994

Sometimes in between the mundane and insignificant things in this life, such as musings over how Rachel Brice manages to move her body as though she were an actual snake, or how much of a gymnast one truly has to be in order to pull off a back-bend like Nejla Ateş, comes a truly fascinating story that, among other things, showcases how little human nature actually changes over time and across national boundaries. One such fascinating (perhaps even somewhat sad or tragic) and one-of-a-kind story can be found in one of the darlings of Cairo’s golden age, Badaweya Mohamed Kareem Al Nirani.

Badaweya Mohamed Kareem Al Nirani (1919(?)-1999), professionally known as Taheyya Kariokka (Tahia Carioca), was an Egyptian actress and dancer, primarily in the 1930s and 1940s. Though largely unknown to the Western world, she starred in somewhere around 300 classical Arabic films and is known as a pioneer of sorts to true studied students and enthusiasts of belly-dance.

Coming from a respectable family, Taheyya was the product of a marriage where her mother was forty years younger than her father. Her father apparently went through a few marriages within the family, being left swiftly widowed before settling for marrying an outsider (Taheyya’s mother). Despite her youth, it took Taheyya’s mother a full four years to conceive a child (fertility issues on the behalf of the aging husband, perhaps?), and then- much to her father’s dismay- the child was a girl.

Taheyya’s mother fled to return back to her family soon after Taheyya’s birth, leaving Taheyya to be raised primarily by her paternal grandmother. Soon after her father’s death, Taheyya’s much older brother took custody of her, imposing discipline whenever he would catch her dancing [being a dancer was- is- generally looked down upon in that part of the world, with one of the worst insults you could hurl at a man being to call him the “son of a dancer” and you’d be hard pressed to find many Arab women willing to become dancers as most dancers in the Middle East are actually Western imports] on her in a manner that would be considered extreme child abuse by today’s standards. (Taheyya’s mother reported to the authorities about this behavior, attempting to get her daughter back, though they refused to intervene). She eventually fled from her brother at a young age, leading to a series of events and interactions that would make her one of the most famous dancers of her day.

By all accounts told about her, Taheyya was a rebel and perhaps even the perfect example of the quandary of the modern-day woman. She was famous for her sharp tongue and had quite a reputation for debauchery, having an (admitted) fourteen husbands.

“No, what was clear and unalterable: men had made her life hell! And perhaps the fault was not all theirs. Even when she was young, even when she was broke, I defy anyone to find a picture of Madame Tahaya which doesn’t show her eyes alight with mockery. What love can withstand it’s glare? And as she herself told me in so many words, men did not desire her. At first I heard deserve, but no, desire was what she had said, and desire was what she meant. A soft clap of disdain followed, washing her hands of all men. No, the husbands, all thirteen of them, were in love with “Tahaya Carioca,” whoever she was! And, as if to underline the point, Tahaya treated all of them with a man’s directness, divorced them like a man, paid them off like a man. It was as if only by playing the tough little businesswoman could she underline the gulf between who she was on the screen and stage and who she was in reality.”[1]

Like many modern women, she had a career. Above all, her career always came first for her. That combined with her sharp tongue apparently drove all the men away one by one. Like many modern women, she could attract many men to her, but she could never hold onto them. (Supposedly) not believing in having sex before marriage, she instead engaged in what could be termed as serial monogamy, marrying and divorcing one man after the other in a series of relationships that never lasted very long, until her final marriage to a much younger man finally bankrupted her after an 8-year long court battle.

She was superior in her relationships, and fiercely independent. She took the initiative to divorce and always paid her own way (even with her numerous divorces). One of her marriages was to an American Air Force officer. She followed him to America for a short time before she then apparently became bored(?) with American life, divorced him, and headed back to Egypt.

Her political life was quite interesting. I guess you can’t really expect that a fiercely independent woman like Taheyya would just sit on the sidelines in times of war or political upheaval. But no! She gave asylum to political allies (some even members of her own family), did some time in jail for conspiracy against the crown and even helped in weapon smuggling and training to join the resistance in the mid-50s.

As well, you’d dare not insult a woman like Taheyya, and even royalty were not immune, as it is said she insulted King Farouk and his second-wife, refusing to dance at their wedding by exclaiming “I have already danced at the wedding of the Queen of Egypt!” In yet another instance, reports say that she also slapped the former king across the face as well (some reports say it was because he threw an ice cube down her dress).

Taheyya would grab her shoe anytime she was offended or felt threatened and wave it in the person’s face, and, again, neither royalty nor Hollywood A-listers of the day were immune. Husbands weren’t immune either, apparently. In at least one known instance, she caught one of her many (soon to be ex-) husbands, Rushdy Abaza, with another woman. Off came Taheyya’s shoe as she then began to teach the other woman a lesson before proceeding to obtain a divorce from Abaza and move on to the next man.

But despite her success, fame, and marriages to A-list celebrities and directors, her life was a hard one, and not exactly one to be recommended. She could never conceive children of her own (something that apparently saddened her greatly), but instead adopted a daughter. By all accounts she was well educated, proficient in French and English as well as her own native Arabic. She also had a kind heart, despite her fiery ways, always willing to open her doors to the poor and needy. As she began to age, however, she began to put on a lot of weight, becoming very heavy and, by some accounts, also very crude and vulgar, no longer being the suave seductress that she once was. Later pictures and films that she played in showed her to be very heavy, and the final divorce that she underwent took a huge financial and emotional toll on her, leaving her to seek out whatever menial roles she could find for herself in an attempt to rebuild her life. Towards the end of her life in an interview she was asked by members of the press, “How many husbands?” to which she then replied “Five right ones. I never was happy. My work always came first. For this, they run away. I took two months vacation every year, the rest I worked.”

At the end, in her final years, she returned fully to her Muslim faith, donning the veil before passing away at the age of 80(?) from a heart attack in a Cairo hospital.

Taheyya:

 

More about Taheyya:
http://thebestofhabibi.com/vol-13-no-3-summer-1994/tahia-carioca-and-samia-gamal/
http://thebestofhabibi.com/vol-17-no-4-dec-1999/tahia-talks/
http://thebestofhabibi.com/vol-17-no-4-dec-1999/farewell-to-tahia/
https://raseef22.com/en/culture/2016/10/04/amazing-life-legendary-taheyya-kariokka-dancer-actress-rebel/
http://www.hossamramzy.com/articles/the-stars-of-egypt/taheyya-karioka/
http://www.gildedserpent.com/art43/sausanTK.htm

http://www.nytimes.com/1999/09/22/arts/tahia-carioca-79-dies-a-renowned-belly-dancer.html