I Won’t Accept It

Do you think that i would ever just give it away for free? That I might just jump in bed with any man because it sounded like a fun thing to do? Never think such things of me. Make fun of it, say what you will, but I have always considered my body and my life-giving capabilities to be precious- and they are. It is special and I would never give it away to just any man. Any man who would not cherish me, protect me, love and provide for me is not worthy of it and will never have me.

A real man will work, he will make it- he will find a way. It is a test of his manhood and he will pass it no matter how hard it is. I will not settle. If he must fall back on me and accept my help then he is no man. He is weak. Any man who cannot look at me and see how I am made as a female and regard it as special and precious is no man. He is but a mere boy fleeing from the responsibilities of manhood.

What’s wrong today is that men have no love for women. They have quit regarding women as weaker vessels to be cherished and looked after. They no longer think about the things they say when women are near. They find it “impossible” to provide for a wife. They tell women they are nothing special. They will talk about how society degrades manhood then in the next sentence will be talking about their wives’/girlfriends’ career. They want to call themselves men but they can’t lead, can’t provide.

But I will never accept any of it. Only my love and demands that he step up to his responsibilities can make him a man. Only my demands that he respect me and view me as the precious weaker vessel I am can mature him. A real man would cover a woman in times of danger instead of expecting her to fight beside him.

This is what marriage is supposed to be- coverture. He looks down at me and tells me he will never expect anything from me. He loves me and cherishes me. I would never stray because I would never just give it away. I could never want the things now promoted as fun. But if they are so fun, why then is there no pleasure?

If I’m hysterical he’ll tell me just to listen. I’m listening even though I may not want to. Will I do what he says? Yes, I decide I have to. He’s my only protection so I’ll keep following. This isn’t a game. It isn’t role play. I can’t stand the thought of the “kink” and sodomy that’s become part of mainstream culture. It isn’t real. It isn’t right. It’s nothing but a sick game. At first it excites but then leaves a bitter aftertaste and a sick feeling in the end. I want no part of it ever. He’ll never tie me up. He’ll never degrade me.

Spread upon the sheets like a butterfly, I feel him crawl towards me to cover me. His beard is rough against my face, his body is strong and hard. I can see him faintly outlined in the near darkness. I breathe in his scent- the man I submit to in life- the man who covers and protects me and provides for me. So far removed from what the world says the modern woman ought to be, I know intense contentment, peace and pleasure. I need to depend on him, I have to. Only then could I let him inside. Only then could I truly feel complete. It’s not a joke. It’s not comedy. It’s a wonderment and I will never allow myself to be degraded or brought down.

Posted in On Being a Woman, Sex | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

If Woman Has the Choice

Oh if it was up to me I’m sure I would have left a long time ago. I’m a very dependent type of woman; the type that was born in the wrong century for sure. I can’t always know completely what it is I want, or what it is I’m seeking. Does any woman ever truly know such things? Therefore would it not be a disaster if I was independent? Would I leave today if I was?

I’ve always been very dependent on my husband to take care of me. He’s always supported me financially and I’ve always leaned on him to take care of me. I’ve never had any kind of paid employment since we’ve been married. No, there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m physically healthy and don’t have any type of mental or physical disorders or disabilities or anything. (Well, I might be a bit crazy, but nothing’s been proven yet).

I run errands, I go to school meetings and doctor’s appointments. I go grocery shopping and take care of the home and child. I’m actually pretty busy every day but I’m always dependent upon knowing that he’s there to take care of me. I’m a bit scared of the world it’s true. I’m terrified of being left out on my own to support and take care of myself. I’ve never really done it before. The thought of men abandoning women to defend and support themselves makes me sick inside because men are supposed to be taking care of women. I try to never think about it because when I do a deep sadness comes over me that pierces my very soul. It just makes me stop caring and believing in humanity.

When I think about it I know that women actually do need to be controlled. Should men not control women they are responsible for to prevent the destruction of families and widespread having babies without marriage and with several different partners? Would things be so bad and women so unhappy if men were doing their jobs and controlling, protecting and supporting women (and children)? Would children be so bad off? Would it not prevent the wrong type of men from controlling a woman and taking advantage of her or using her? Could a man not best see another man’s intentions and protect a woman from him? Some stereotypes are grounded in truth and in some areas of life women do not reason as logically as men. How many times has my own husband told me no and it turned out to be a good thing? But no man can control a woman who has her own independence.

I know it would be a disaster if I was independent. I would have probably left a long time ago, but it is unlikely I would have found happiness somewhere else. I know sometimes he won’t let me breathe, won’t let me go, but then I see how good it is as it is my protection. I guess it can be a source of frustration when I feel helpless that I have no option to get away or leave but I calm down and get over it eventually. There really isn’t any resentment because he’ll take care of me.

I’m not truly happy, but I’m not unhappy either. I can’t always completely decide. No matter how I feel I always run to him and let him hold me and take care of me because I need him. Could I love a man who did not provide for me and hold me in his arms to control and protect me? No, I couldn’t. That I would resent.

When a woman has the choice to leave how many times will she take it? Yes, special circumstances sometimes dictate that a woman must leave, but in most circumstances that isn’t quite the case.

Is there anything else that predicts so strongly a failed marriage than the woman’s independence? It is the only thing that seems to correlate directly from what I’ve ever seen- even when looking back over decades. Some men think they can use the children to keep the woman with them or to get her back, but I’ve never once known this to work. In any case, divorce rates were half what they are now and marriage rates were higher when mother custody was at its strongest and most women stayed home. It has never had any significant positive effect on marriage or divorce rates.

If I’m safe, if I’m beautiful (not saying I am) and skinny then it’s because he takes care of me. I don’t really care what anyone thinks. I’ve always depended on a man to take care of me. I’m suspicious of any man who praises independent women because that signals he doesn’t want to take responsibility for a woman and doesn’t want to be a real man. I’d much rather my husband be with me when I go places, although I go alone often and when I have to. Sometimes I’m miserable but I figure I’d only be more miserable if I was allowed to leave and complicate my life by starting up other relationships or working, etc.. Part of the reason I’ve always rejected paid employment is to keep our relationship stable and also because I couldn’t feel love or desire for him without depending on him. Making and controlling the money gives him control over me, which is ok when it comes with the heavy weight of responsibility.

Posted in Commentary, Marriage | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments


Might we have been happy if it wasn’t for your interference?; punished just for being female, something I cannot help. What might our lives have been like? Would it have all been worse or would I have turned out the same? The source of contention since the beginning, to throw, fight, belittle, argue and split up. Always hanging on by a thread; caught between love and hate.

I love you. I hate you. I want you. Please get away from me. Nothing can erase the way I feel deep inside. Nothing can change what has been. Nothing can bring back the innocent child long gone. Nothing can ever completely erase the hurt inside. It will always be there in some form or another just because of who and what I am. Would things have had to be the way they were if only one man around had actually acted like a man for five minutes?

Reaching out for love but never truly getting it; it’s the feeling when someone says they care but you know they don’t mean it. My eyes light up and my heart soars when I’m around you, yet when the night falls the feelings turn to hate.

An innocent child holds things together. Duty, honor and financial dependency still bind me to this place. Every day I feel at moments that I wish to leave; wish I’d never set eyes on him or this place, yet my heart grows sad at the same time when I think of leaving.

Can wine be my only solace and contentment? Buzzing physically, stirring mentally; condemned everyday to hate until I begin to love.

Posted in Thoughts & Poetry | Leave a comment

Neurotic, Psychotic

For all her life a woman will seek the attention and approval of the men around her. Sometimes it is a craving that runs as deep as her emotions. She needs a man’s attention. She needs that approval and affirmation . Whether from a father, boyfriend, husband or father figure and she will never quit seeking it. Girls and women will often go to disastrous and even dangerous lengths to secure that attention, the same as men will do stupid and illogical and dangerous things to win over the girl (and thus the sex). A woman might give a man sex to receive attention and love (or what she perceives as love), while a man would give a woman attention and love her (or at least say he does) in order to receive sex. Men and women do not think the same nor reason the same and their motives are often completely different.

A woman was made to give and nurture life and her emotions are an essential part of how she’s made. It’s a part of who she is. Men often cannot understand what is going on in the mind of a woman. And if he is confused, so is she. She isn’t really sure what she wants, perhaps he should just tell her? For a woman’s heart is such as this, that she might slap a man across the face and tell him she hates him, yet when he turns around and leaves she will cry because she loves him and doesn’t want him to go. She will often believe she means what she says at the moment, even though what she says isn’t really what she means at all. She does really feel as she says she does, but yet she doesn’t. She expects that a man will know what she really means and really wants yet when he inevitably doesn’t she will be upset, possibly even angry that he can’t understand what she herself is so confused about.

And it might go this way that she will leave. She may tell him she hates him, doesn’t want anything to do with him, yet when he fails to pursue her she will believe he doesn’t love her. He will inevitably fail the first time, yet insisting a second time and giving her no choice he might win, even when she protests. The first time he comes after her she won’t return, yet the second time, if he makes her return, she’ll love him once again. She’ll probably protest, but he shouldn’t always believe what she says. The female mind is sometimes neurotic, psychotic.

A woman needs to see that there are good men around. If one man after another hurts her and walks out of her life, it isn’t long before a type of psychosis sets in. If her own father walked out on her she will look to another man to fill that void. She might even be married to a husband that loves her, but sometimes it is not enough. There is still a void. A woman or girl needs to know that there is at least one man in her life she can trust or else she will have poor relationships with men throughout her life. If she’s been nothing but hurt by men she might even begin to hate herself and hate the way she’s made as a woman. She was made to be weaker and more vulnerable, “but for what purpose?” she asks. “To be second-class and be used and abused by men who subsequently unload their burdens off onto the weaker sex?”

Without a father figure or man to protect her, especially in her youth, she will be left more vulnerable to men who will hurt and use her and she often won’t have the self-esteem to refuse or even to love herself or the way she’s made as a female. It is not good. It is a vicious cycle where she will be left hurt and probably end up with children who will probably fare even worse. For from the time she is young she looks up to a father-figure to love her, protect her and be there for her.

A woman might get hurt by a man, but if she at least knows that there are men out there who do take care of women and fulfill their responsibilities it can still be OK. But living in a world where she sees no responsible or trustworthy men will damage a woman, sometimes beyond repair. A woman is necessarily more vulnerable sexually and intimacy is difficult without the feeling of security and a deep knowledge that she is precious as a female.

It isn’t so much the actual events that may happen to her in her life as it is the fact that she simply has come to believe men cannot be trusted at all. It is the fact that she’s been hurt deeply and feels it is normal for men to act that way, even encouraged. She lives in a society where men regularly abandon women and where men no longer take care of women. Men do not care for women, they hurt women. That’s all she sees or has ever known.

Deep inside there is the longing to look up to a man, to be led, guided and mentored; to love and be loved; to cry and be comforted, to be told that everything’s OK even when she feels nothing ever will be. Being hurt and left vulnerable can be a most violent rape of the very soul, shattering a girl or young woman’s entire world and beliefs about life. Where once there was innocence and she looked to her body and biological functions with wonder and a deep love for the uniqueness of being female, now she looks at it with disgust and a feeling that nothing is right and that she was made to be lesser, be without dignity or worth.

A healing may never truly come for her. She may pray to God, have beliefs for her soul, but she is still a being living in this world. She is still sensitive, especially to the things a man she loves or looks up to says and does towards her. She tries to read more into the things he might say, possibly even wanting to see something that isn’t there. A man will often say and do things that deeply hurt her, even if he is unaware of it. She is deeply emotional and often even illogical. Many times a man will take a woman’s words to heart, even if she doesn’t understand and is only emotional. He might even become angry with her or even lash out at her. But even if she is mean, or even downright nasty, underneath it all she is still only a hurt girl, looking to be loved.

Posted in On Being a Woman, Thoughts & Poetry | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

It’s Not the Way It Should Be…

When I was yet barely legal I put an official end to my fertility once and for all. I made the logical and conscious decision to do this because I saw how the world that we live in today is and I knew that I could never risk bringing another child into this world. I had to make sure then, as I still do now, that if me and my husband were to split apart for whatever reason that there would never be any more young or minor children to complicate things; that there would never be any dependents to have to worry about; that there would never be any children that could be used as pawns to hurt, control, manipulate or punish me. The heart would love a cabin in the woods with ten barefoot children running around, but that simply is not reality. Our society loves to tell us to follow our hearts but there comes a time when childish fantasies have to be set aside and life has to be faced for what it is. I have made the decisions I have made in my life using my head, not my heart. Emotions and feelings more often than not lead us down the wrong path, not the right one. Either way hormones should never come into play when making major and important decisions about life.

I love how men like to constantly remind women of their “biological clocks” as if they, themselves, don’t have a biological clock ticking. It’s always, “your fertility will run out soon (40’s the limit!) but I’ll still have time to make up my mind so na-na-na-na-na!” and somehow us women will regret it if we don’t start having a bunch of them in our 20s. They (the MRA men, AKA God’s gift to all womankind) will be studs like when they’re 50, 60, etc…

*Whistles* looking good Pops baby!

But I don’t regret anything, even years later. I can’t change what has been in the past nor can I change the way things are in society, but I can make a conscious decision to protect myself and, acknowledging the current state of things in society, plan my life accordingly. Men are more powerful than women, and society grants to women no special protections for our weaker and more vulnerable state, which would mean the only way for a woman to protect herself from a man is to never be with or have kids with one. (I never understood, however, the men who act scared of women. Men can control women, without ever even having to lay a finger on them).

But that doesn’t mean I have to turn into some feminist and come onto the internet and rave about how I hate men and run some marriage strike and complain how all men are wicked and evil and how us women are oh so victimized etc..etc…and let’s go our own way girls! Likewise, a man might see the way things are and decide it’s not worth the risk to get married and have kids and support a woman. There’s nothing wrong with that but there is something wrong with that same man joining up with MRAs and spewing his vile everywhere and being anti-woman and attacking women and joining in campaigns and promoting any policy he can to rid all men of responsibility for women and children. He could choose instead to promote a better way where men and women can live harmoniously together even if he chooses to be single in his own life. Even if he doesn’t have a blog or whatever he can still be an example to others by the way he lives his own life and by teaching and being there for those who look up to him.

Even if my husband begged and pleaded with me to have another child with him I would still have to tell him no, even if the thought is romantic. I simply would never do it. I see the way things are today and, again, I must protect myself. I am married and I take care of my family and fulfill my obligations as a wife and mother (which, in my view does not include obligations to go out and work!). Marriage has a lot of political value. It benefits me, my husband and our child in the way of a more stable and less complicated and stressful life, the accumulation of property and wealth and many other things. I love my husband very much but beyond just the potentially fleeting hormones of love and having fun marriage is about all the aforementioned aspects of property, stability and financial support as well.

Nonetheless, a lot of things can change in 18 years. People change. Society changes. Circumstances change. I am not willing to gamble away my future and decrease my value to other men (in the event I was divorced or something) by bringing more children into this world and complicating my life and tying myself down and putting myself in jeopardy like that. There’s no way in hell I’m going to give children to a man when it’s a 50/50 gamble that the marriage will even last a decade and I could be facing divorce or someone showing up to take my kids away from me without me even having the slightest clue of what’s even going on until the moment it hits me or being drug in and out of court for the next two decades of my life or told I must support the man who has impregnated me (and who is bigger, stronger and more powerful than me, nonetheless) and as for myself i’m just out on my own to fend for myself. I will never put myself in such a situation. Never. So I make the decisions I have made for a reason. It’s not the way things should be, but it’s the way they are. If I was ever divorced or widowed I know that I would also never remarry, at least I would never remarry unless there was drastic legal and cultural changes. I might live with a man and have some kind of unofficial ceremony but even then I would draw up very tight legal contracts between the two of us and I would never have kids with him..

Nonetheless I promote the things I believe in, the way things should be. If we do ever divorce then there will be no more children and no complications and we can just go our own way and I’ll just have to make it the best I can. Our one and only child is getting older which makes things less complicated in the event we ever did split up in the future. Without more children there’s a good chance I could find another man to take care of me and support me (where, at the most, I might work part-time or something) but with every additional child the chance of that decreases significantly and I am not willing to let my stock plummet if I am entitled to nothing in return for everything that I’ve given of myself to a man; if I am not assured lifetime financial support. If I am to put my life on the line I need to know I am guaranteed a home to live in, financial support, security and stability and I know that I simply am not guaranteed any of those things and may never be. I hope that divorce, abandonment, death or any of those terrible things never happen, but, nonetheless, they are realities in the world we live in and must be considered when planning the future. Again, it’s not the way things should be, but it’s the way they are. I would be a fool to just follow my heart and dive in head first and never consider the future or the consequences of my actions.

I look around and see the way things are and the way men are acting and within two seconds flat every wall of defense I have goes up and there is this thought and feeling inside of me that I don’t want anything to do with any man, ever. Something I see or hear triggers this response and then I don’t even want my own husband to even touch me and intimacy with the man I love seems more like a gross violation than something wondrous, pleasureful, sacred and beautiful. The only thought then becomes to protect myself because all men are just abusers of women and they can’t be trusted. I get the thought that I just want to hate men, even though in reality I want to look up to and admire the men around me and trust them.

I can’t help the things I think, but I can help the things I promote. And that is the difference. I don’t come here being a feminist (although MRAs think anyone who doesn’t fall into line with their agenda and anti-woman propaganda and thinks men should have any obligations at all towards women is labeled a “feminist” I tend to write them off as unimportant) or promoting feminist ways. I talk about what I see as wrong and promote something better, something more sustainable and a social order that does justice to men, women and children (even if that social order doesn’t happen to revolve around everybody just doing whatever they want, whenever they want and with whoever they want and screwing everyone else in the process). That’s the difference.

I can’t help the way society is but in my own life I make conscious decisions about the future. Besides, I will only live once and I’ll only be young once. I want to enjoy my youthful beauty and figure and not risk sabotaging it by back-to-back pregnancies. I want to spend my youth in high heels and miniskirts, not maternity clothes, even if in all honesty I’ve never felt more beautiful than when I was with child. I have one child, a beautiful daughter, who I adore and who I know looks like me and my husband. It’s nice to do it once and it’s nice I’ve had one child and when she’s older it will be like having my own legacy, someone who’s a part of me, a legacy that will live on even after I’m gone. I cherish that. But I do like a simpler life too. We are well off financially and in the coming years I can be a little selfish. I can spend my days keeping a petite figure, taking care of the home, relaxing and not giving a care about the world around me or if it falls all to pieces. It will be nice not having to be burdened with the care of young children.

The society around me could go to hell and I’d probably never notice. I don’t pay attention to the news (in fact I purposely avoid it), I don’t vote, I have my own home and family. I can help change things by the way I live my life. In the end that’s probably the most powerful influence anyways. I’ll never have a large family nor do I want one. Now I can save myself one bureaucratic nightmare and financial drain after another. This isn’t to put down those with large families, it’s just my opinion. I live my life and you can live yours. I have respect for those who have large families but I will never go down that road.

But I will continue to promote something better, because reproducing is a part of life and the family is the foundation of society and I believe that those who choose to have families and have children need to be protected. I believe women need to be protected and I believe children deserve the right to come from stable homes where they can have a good start in life.

Posted in Advice, Commentary, Feminism, Marriage, MRAs, Personal Relationships | 11 Comments

What Kind of Society do We Want?

Is there anything more pathetic in this world than a man who doesn’t even want to provide for his own?; than a man who would become hostile and explode in a rage or become aggressive against a woman just at the very thought of ever supporting a woman? What kind of a man would do such a thing? I’d say there’s something severely wrong with a man who would become hostile against a woman who’s only crime is that she actually likes men and wants to be in a stable relationship with a man; a woman who actually is feminine, a woman who actually wants to care for her own children. 

The truth is that you’d pay for it and you know you would. Even to this day men pile into strip clubs and throw their money at beautiful (or even not so beautiful) women in the hopes of enjoying their beauty or convincing them to do some kind of sexual favors, etc.. Even with all the free sex many men would still give a woman money for it if the woman said that’s what it would take to get it. The truth is that you know if women demanded you pay for dates or marry and provide for them in order to get the [censored] that you’d do it. You hate it and it drives you insane that a woman might ever have any actual rights or choices over her own body or reproduction. It drives you nuts that women are the gatekeepers of sex and you’d do anything to get back in (or even get in at all). 

You complain women are so butch, unfeminine, out of shape, masculine, assertive, aggressive, career-driven, hate men, etc… yet you men are feminine, unmotivated, unwilling to be responsible for women and 3/4 of you look like you might be expecting triplets any day. You complain about the career-driven woman who just doesn’t want kids or can’t get in touch with her feminine side. Well, how is a woman supposed to be feminine, happy, in-shape and love men if no man will provide for her? Why would she want kids if she doesn’t have security to raise them properly? She can’t put kids and family first if she knows her only choice is to pursue a career and provide for herself. She must put career first as it is her only option and she knows it and she receives harassment from all sides so that she might never forget it. 

You complain about child support, divorce, abortion, alimony (as if it actually still exists) but who do you think legislated it in the first place? I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t women! Men created the laws, not women. Men legislated feminism, not women. Very few lawmakers, politicians, lawyers, etc.. were women and there were NO Supreme Court justices that were women until the 1980s. Even today women are hopelessly in the minority in these fields. If men have a problem with the way things are today then their problem is with other men, not women. Yet instead of attacking the problem at its root and forcing other men into their appropriate roles and responsibilities you go instead and become hostile and aggressive against women and you hate the very women that would be good to you- the very women who wouldn’t do you wrong. 

There are countless homemaking blogs out there, but where are all the breadwinner blogs, exactly? I’d say for every one traditional man there are probably about ten traditional women. Well, I propose a different solution. If men don’t want any responsibilities I say fine! You can become useless wastes of space who sit around living off of daddy and mommy until you reach middle age. You can have no motivation in life to ever actually get a job or provide for a family. Instead the women can all go out to work while you lounge around playing video games. You can have absolutely no role in life. The women will bear the children (and that’s if they even want to have them at all), work everyday to support families and even go to war. You can have no useful role or purpose in life and just drift aimlessly until you die. How does that sound? The women will work and you can just take it easy. Sex will be free and easy. One can experiment, with several different partners, even of the same sex if that is what they choose. When you get tired of one partner you can easily walk away and find another. Kids can all be raised in day-care centers or passed around the community to be raised by others while women work and men are demotivated. Paternity will never really be certain in many cases. The women are all promiscuous sl*ts, after all. That’s the way our primitive ancestors did it. I think they set such a wonderful example! Men had it made. They never had to work. Instead maybe men can just spend their days starting pointless wars that women and children end up paying the price for. Maybe men could go out hunting every once in a while and come home and toss the meat at their three different wives and say “get to work b****” then spend all night having sex with various women and we can all live in grass huts and have a lovely egalitarian society. Does that sound good? Every day can be constant drudgery and fighting just to survive. Society will never go anywhere nor will our population. And from what I’ve seen it seems like there are many who actually want us to resort to being a primitive society, as they praise primitive societies as if they were egalitarian paradises (despite evidence that they certainly were not).

Oh you love to experiment when the women say they’ll give you sex, but when the women turn around and say they’ll control their own bodies and reproduction then you throw a fit! You want women to be nothing more than mere slaves who both have careers and are good little traditional girls that do what they are told. If you had your way women would be nothing more than slaves with no rights. They should work and be equally responsible to provide yet should have no rights to property, children, divorce or rights to their own body. You love the free and easy sex and living with your girlfriend with no responsibility until she says she’s going to have a baby, and there’s nothing you can do about it (or until she says she’s going to have an abortion and there’s still nothing you can do about it). You love teaching your fellow boys about how to identify sl*ts (so you can have easy sex with them) then turn around and complain about all those illegitimate, fatherless children! You want to treat women as nothing more than disposable sex objects then wonder why so many women turn to feminism and hate men. 

We in the first world do not know and understand oftentimes the problems of the third-world. Most of us have never been starved or known those kinds of hardships. We are blessed and we are blessed because we reap the benefits of our ancestors. Well, guess what, our grandfathers were providers for their families and the ethic was a very strong one and very reinforced and accepted by society as well as law. That’s why we have everything we have. It is the primitive and impoverished third world countries that send their women out to do what we here in the West consider men’s work. It is those societies where men don’t work and have no provider ethic that generally are bad off. If we have luxuries, if we had a better life and more stable society then it is because men actually provided for their families. You can’t have it both ways. We’re resorting to primitive ways because you men stopped being the breadwinners; because you have no care or drive to provide for women. We are now accepting of and living many practices and lifestyles that were only to be found in primitive societies. 

What kind of a man is it that would claim to love a woman but become hostile at the very thought of providing for her financially? What kind of man would claim to love a woman then pressure her non-stop to “get a job” and allow his relatives to harass her about it as well? What kind of a society is it where we have whole groups and organizations of men who attack and become hostile against women just for being women and wanting to be home with their children and care for their families? What kind of a society is it where men view their own women as competition and feel nothing inside of them to even so much as stand up for a woman nor protect her, much less provide for her? Where does that leave our families? Where does that leave our children? A man who does not provide for his own is the worst kind of scum there is. There is nothing worse. Women can only be feminine if men are masculine. Women can only be homemakers and care for their children if men are providers. There is no other way. The nuclear two-parent family with the man standing alone as sole provider built up our civilization and society. It made our society and our families stable. It made our communities peaceful. You can’t have it both ways. Either we want stable families and a first-world existence with men being providers for both women and children or we want an unstable impoverished existence where men are unmotivated. You can’t have it both ways. 

Posted in MRAs | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

Sexuality, Matured

In many ways I may be childlike, but I am not a child. I may be smaller than I was, but my body has filled out with more curves. I may still retain an air of innocence and naivety, but I am not the stupid and silly child I once was. I’ve grown up, I’ve filled out and I’ve learned a lot in life despite my still young years.

When I was young I couldn’t understand the facts of this life. In many aspects the ways of the world still allude me and I am sheltered from them. Over time I have learned the ways a lady should act. As a girl the media taught me many things, but they were all wrong. Hanging out with the crowd I have been for the past few years has changed my mannerisms and calmed me a great deal.

I am no longer so naive as to the things men really like and want. I know the things to say and do to please a man, but it doesn’t mean I will. Something has subtly been changing in me over the years. Deep inside I feel my sexuality as a power. But sex is not to be casual. I have never and will never give it casually- not for fun, not for money, not for any reason. It is something special to me and I will only ever give it as an expression of love to whom I choose. Any man who will ever have me in this life will be something special and irreplaceable to me.

When I was younger being sterile might have bothered me but now I have come to see it as a gift. I can live my life with the one I choose and never have to worry. My body is my own and it’s going to stay that way. And oh it feels so nice. I will never have to worry in life or tie myself down in such a way. I will never be treated like I’m worth less than the ground any man walks on. I will never have to worry about giving children to a man who I may not even be with five years later or putting myself in a bad position. It will never happen. The power is in my hands and I like it that way.

I have come to grow into my sexuality and it is something so wonderful. I honor my commitments. I’ve never slept around. I intend to make marriage work for a lifetime and I feel such a freedom inside with my sexuality. Not the kind of freedom that comes from promiscuity but the kind of freedom of knowing that my body is mine and is a gift that a man must earn from me. I don’t need it so badly and in fact at times I’d much prefer to go without it, but I’ll give it to him in return for all he does for me in this life.

I love deeply, I feel deeply. I’m his and you know I’ll work hard to please him. I’ll dress in pretty things and work out every morning to maintain this 26 inch waist. I’m still soft-spoken and tender-hearted. The corporate world would always clash with my femininity. But for my man, I’d never want him soft. Whether he wears a suit and tie or blue jeans; whether he works in an office or gets his hands dirty- it matters not.

I don’t want some man who knows how to express his emotions and shows his softer side. If he ever picked up a vacuum cleaner to try to impress me I’d think that he’d surely lost his mind. Read me all the poems you can think of and sing me all the love songs you want but it will avail you nothing. It’s so cute that you want to cook for me honey, but it sparks nothing to life inside of me. I want him rough, I want him confident. Intimidate me, scare me, drive me mad, love and protect me. I want to be yours forever.

Posted in On Being a Woman, Sex, Thoughts & Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Even if a Man Must Beg, Borrow or Steal

I find it ridiculous how the economy is constantly used to justify wives going out to work. I think of it like this: you wouldn’t send your children out to work no matter how bad off you were financially, would you? Of course not because they are dependent and it’s your job to support them (primarily, of course, the father’s job). You decided to have them and no matter what they are your responsibility. So how then is it justified for a man to send his wife to work just because things are bad financially? It should be his job to provide financially for his wife, whether he has to beg, borrow or steal. It’s his responsibility to do whatever it takes to make it. Just the same as he’d do whatever to make sure the children were fed and clothed and had a home to live in, so it should be with his wife. He’s married her and she should be his responsibility. Just as with the kids, if you can’t support and raise them then don’t have them. If a man can’t provide for a wife, then he shouldn’t get married.

Posted in Commentary, Marriage, Patriarchy | Tagged | 2 Comments

Something That Really Gets Me


I don’t know anything about this particular case above (one of the many out there) but it’s things like this that really get to me in our society. Family breakdown that invites trouble, abuse and heartbreak but also that somehow women are supposed to be held responsible for the actions and welfare of men. The laws subject men and women to “equal treatment” based upon nothing more than a political ideology yet men and women are not similarly situated in many scenarios in this life. The fact is that women don’t have the power to control the actions of men. Even if a man is doing something abusive a woman simply doesn’t have the strength to stop him, unless she puts a gun to his head or something. But if she does that she’ll go to jail for attempted murder or threatening his life or something (in many jurisdictions even if she was legitimately protecting herself she’ll still be prosecuted). A woman might do all she can to stop an abusive man, but oftentimes her efforts are simply ineffective as men are generally strong enough to simply wave aside a woman’s attempts to physically control them and men can easily hold women immobile at their own whim, usually with their bare hands. No need to resort to threatening with weapons or doing serious harm; if a man wants to subject a woman to his will he generally can.

On the other hand when mother is abusive fathers are rarely charged. I mean, how many times have I heard of some father getting full or partial custody then dumping the kids off with his mother or new wife or some other female? When these women abuse the kids the father gets off scot-free, even though as a man he could control the situation as well as be in authority over the women. Mothers are charged for the abusive actions of fathers and other men even when they are not home when the abuse happened (oftentimes because they are the breadwinners working to support the family these days) yet fathers are not charged for abusive behavior that happens when the children are in the mother’s or some other female’s care. I can’t think of hardly one circumstance where I’ve seen men being held responsible for the actions of women yet somehow women are held responsible for the actions men, even though a woman cannot stop a man from doing whatever he’s intent upon doing. Fathers generally get more rights when mothers are abusive (he can leave mother and child on their own then waltz in to claim his rights the second she does something wrong) yet when fathers are abusive either nobody believes the mother or she is charged with a crime for not stopping his abusive behavior and oftentimes loses her children.

Yet somehow the myth still persists that mothers are given preferential treatment and daddies are pathetic victims who have no rights, even though it’s becoming increasingly common for men to be granted even full custody of children that are several months or even years old even when they’ve never even so much as seen the children before, never supported either them or the mother, never had a real relationship with the mother and have never been involved at all. Also tell me, if the courts outrageously favor women then why would women have to lie in the first place? If they were favored then they should just be able to waltz right in the courtroom and get whatever they want.

That being said I think there is too much paranoia about abuse in our society and it is often used as a weapon against parents (not just coming from the “other” parent but from outsiders like grandparents, step parents, etc as well) to control them and get their way. Something has got to change. Abuse will always be a problem and it always has been but with all the breakdown of families today the problems are just getting worse and fighting will continue because there are so many laws (only existing in the past 30-40 years) that encourage fighting and warring in families (or what passes for “family” these days) and it has just gotten so insane. Things cannot continue like this forever. Men are supposed to be the ones in charge and are supposed to be the one protecting women and children (and working to support them), especially from other men who would abuse them. Men and women cannot trust each other today and for very good reason. It doesn’t sound like a very healthy society to me where men and women fight and distrust each other and relationships between men and women today are very unhealthy. Maybe we should stop and ask why it has become this way and when, exactly, it started to get so bad. The answer should be obvious.

Posted in Commentary, Current Events, Political | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

A Man Like You

If I could sum up what it is I think of you I would say that in all ways you are a man. Throughout all these years you’ve made it on your own. You’ve worked hard all these years for everything that you have, for everything that you own. You have built your home with your own hands. You’ve done the work of a real man. Both directly and indirectly you have given so much to me. I know it and I think about it often. I know you’ve always been the provider for your family, your children, and your wife when she was there. You have provided without ever accepting the help or support of a woman and always had too much pride to accept welfare.

I know you always kept your children in your custody and care until they were grown. I think it was a good thing. Only a real man, one who accepts his responsibilities to be the provider and has drive to make it himself, can bring order and stability in the home. Even as a mother who loves her child and family, I know I would be no good living on my own as head of household. It is not good for any woman to ever be in that position. I would never try it. Therefore I did not lie when I told you years ago that he could make the decisions about our child, but he must provide financially. That is the age-old bargain.

I know that you have a temper at times. I’ve seen it. I don’t see you as being the kind to care too much for a woman, or anyone else for that matter, telling you what to do. Physically you have stayed in good form over the years, unlike most of the men I see around me. I’ve never seen you drink to excess or really ever take a drink at all. You might for all I know, but I have never seen it. You have never done it around me.

You always appear to me to be sober and wise. You’ve never been crude in my presence and I’ve never heard you utter obscenities but maybe once in all these years. Nevertheless, I don’t think of you as a saint or monk by any means. At times I have seen in your face an expression and in your eyes a light that leaves no doubt that your thoughts are every bit those of a man’s. I have oftentimes found your intense perusal and scrutiny of both myself and the situation to be more than a bit unnerving. At times I feel you can read my thoughts. It’s a bit disturbing. I don’t see anyone ever being able to play you for a fool. I know you have many thoughts, but you don’t speak them. Unlike most, you are discreet in both your thoughts and opinions. I have never known of you to be loud-mouthed or transparent. You may be thinking it, but you won’t say it.

Although I may never truly know, I feel as though you have always respected me for my traditional ways. I do feel that somehow you respect me for being in the home. I know you won’t ever say anything but somehow I get the sense that you do hold many traditional views on women. It’s just something I have seen in your eyes before that makes me think such a thing. I don’t know if you really have ever truly cared for me or not. I know there are many things I don’t know, that I’ll never know and that’s fine with me. I don’t want to know everything. I’m sure there are things I don’t know that would change some of the ways I think of you. But from what I see you are every bit of a man to be looked up to. It’s that soft look in your eyes when you talk to me and those knowing smiles that you give me. With one look you can make me want to run and hide.

If by some chance of fate you ever read this I don’t want you to ever think that what I feel is of a romantic nature- it’s not. Also don’t ever think that somehow I’m worshipping you- I am most certainly not. It’s only that I’ve never known another man like you. I look up to you and I admire you for being a man. I’ve never had any other man in my life that I could look up to the way that I’ve come to look up to you over the years.

It is my husband that I love. It is only him that I long for romantically and sexually. Even in my dreams I can’t escape him. In my dreams it is always him that I see, always him that I reach out for. He has invested much in me over the years. If I need something I know he’ll get it for me. I would never leave him even if I could. I would be scared and helpless if I couldn’t depend upon him.

I have never asked you for anything and I would never ask you to “take sides” or anything of the sort. He’s my husband. He’s supposed to be responsible for me, not you. It would not be right either for you to intervene and I would never ask you to.

I’m not really sure that I want to be around you. I have been hurt too badly. I think I’d rather keep my distance. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I have always looked up to you and admired you. Despite all, I’ve always seen you as a man so much different than any others I’ve ever known, and certainly far above my own father, who never seems to be on the same planet when you’re talking to him and has never cared for anyone but himself. You’ve spent so much time helping us to have a home to live in, working side by side with my husband. I don’t know why you would do such a thing if you didn’t care, but I am not going to search in the dark for something that may not even exist. But I will always be glad that I have been around and had in my life a man like you.

Companion Piece:

The father I never had

Posted in Personal Relationships