All or Nothing/A Woman’s Heart 

“And I remember so well that night so long ago the way he put his hand up high on the screen, and how when he walked through that door, how he took with him my heart.”

I never asked where he went or what he did. I never even cared. I remember it so distinctly the way his bad-boy game charmed me and melted away my heart. And I remember so well that night so long ago the way he put his hand up high on the screen, and how when he walked out that door, how he took with him my heart. I know that men will play games if we allow them to. And when we take into account that the most heinous of all wrongdoings are usually committed by those we love and trust the most, the portrait of humanity becomes even more bleak. But it will either be real or it will be nothing. He’ll say it real and he’ll say it true or he’ll get nothing at all. And if he doesn’t truly want me a part of his life, then he will live without me in it. For a woman to guard her sexuality so fiercely that any man lying with her will know that he is truly special, truly unique. Yes, truly irreplaceable. For indeed I may be a fool, but never the kind he may think me to be.

“For a woman to guard her sexuality so fiercely that any man lying with her will know that he is truly special, truly unique.”

And they look at us traditionalists and they call us simple-minded and weak. But childlikeness is simply a state of femininity. It is joyful laughter, playfulness, tender-heartedness and vulnerability. But there is much strength in feminine weakness. Look deep into these eyes and see the depths of maturity and love within them. I have never been a doormat nor a pushover. Stronger than he might have ever imagined, I remember that day when I turned and fled, never to return, as my heart and mind simply couldn’t take it anymore. He could not protect me nor defend or love me. Yet untouched by him, I ran away.

“I remember that day when I turned and fled, never to return… For indeed I may be a fool, but never the kind he may think me to be.”

Regard the fullness of these hips and the suppleness of these breasts as I gently lay back. Only in deep trust and love can I truly open myself to him. In my sweetest imaginings I lose myself so deeply in the moment. To feel his strength as he lays over me and envelops me in the protection of his arms and to reach for him to draw him closer and take him in ever deeper as agonizing waves of pleasure wrack my body. To ever imagine it as casual is nothing short of horrifying.  

“Only if I am sure, only upon seeing that he is real, can I ever open up, willing and ready, to receive masculine hardness deep into the depths of feminine softness.”

Because when I feel, I feel so deeply. When I love, I love so truly. I don’t want your 50 Shades of Grey, I don’t want your kink, I don’t want your metrosexual masculinity. Inside and out I am female, I am feminine, I am woman. I know I told him so many lies so that he might never know just how long I truly burned for him. Every woman wants to believe, as he is lying over her, that he is real, that he is true. So kiss me so softly, so deeply. My heart is torn and pulled in every direction. There remains a bittersweet sickness in the pit of my stomach. Only if I am sure, only if I can see that he is real, can I ever open up, willing and ready, to receive masculine hardness deep into the depths of feminine softness. 

“I know I told him so many lies so that he might never know just how long I truly burned for him…My heart is torn and pulled in every direction.”

But can I run to him and will he be there? If I call to him will he answer? I pulled back, I dissapeared. I was gone so long. I spent so much time in pain. I was physically sick, mentally destroyed. But if he must wait for it then, if that day ever arrives, you know it will be so good. But can one wait forever? For so long I dreamt that he would come for me. A woman’s fantasies invaded my mind. But it will be real and true, or it will be nothing at all. A woman’s body is a gift to be given to a man out of love. The opening up an expression of trust; to allow a man, once he has proven himself, to invade her privacy and take all of her the way other men may not- because he is truly special, truly unique and irreplaceable. It will never be easy. It was never meant to be. Only when it’s real, only when he’s real. Only when it’s true, only when he’s true. 

“But it will be real and true, or it will be nothing at all…But can one really wait forever..?”

I never wanted to be anywhere but here. My heart grows sick when I think of the loneliness and emptiness of the world. Never leave my life, never let me go. I’ve been dead inside so long, I know. But after all these years I can finally feel. I am human, I am real. So hold me in love, hold me in truth. Love awaits, but only when it’s real, only when it’s true. You know I’ll never beg, I’ll never plead. If he doesn’t want me in his life, then he’ll forever live without me in it. But God knows I’ve never been happy that way. I’ve never been happy without him in my life. It’s no secret, anyone can see. Days are devoid of meaning when time fails to heal the pain. But I live with that pain, because I won’t settle. No, one can’t wait forever. But if love and life are a journey, is there ever indeed a finish line?

“So hold me in love, hold me in truth. Love awaits…But if life and love are a journey, is there ever indeed a finish line?”

Red-Pill Delusions 

Warning: CONTENT


“The Red Pill is, for all intents and purposes, what happens when the pick-up community decides that it hates women…” (1)


For anyone that doesn’t read the “manosphere” or associated Red-Pill blogs let me save you some trouble. The basic motto is this: Women are shit. Women should be treated like shit. It’s all about different ways to use and play women and implementing any form of psychological mind-f*ckery to get the upper hand in relationships and in the so-called “sexual marketplace.” They actually have various acronyms used to describe exactly how women are shit, how women have only a short-lived value in society that dries up at a very young age, how all women (especially American women) are all natural born sl*ts who only f*ck so-called “alpha” men and use the so-called “beta” men for resources and any sexually frustrated man with a victim mentality is welcome to leave all kind of vile comments about women. There’s nothing about being a better man or bettering society nor any talk about how men might actually be falling short of what they should be at all. It’s all about poking fun at women and advocating their worthlessness as anything other than a warm, wet hole.

I’ve read a lot of the crap over the years and a lot of what I have read is so ridiculous I can’t even take half of it seriously and actually wonder if a lot of the articles aren’t actually written just for comedic effect (For instance, Roosh V, notorious pick-up artist, has actually previously claimed at least one of his articles to be a joke after it caused public outrage before). The manosphere puts way more antagonism between the sexes than the most militant feminist advocates looking to hold their own in the corporate world with men ever could.

Don’t forget as well that everybody is rated on a certain scale and that determines how valuable they actually are to society and to the opposite sex (a total guy thing to be sure). So let’s say we have guy A and guy B. Guy A scores a bit higher on so-called “alpha” traits (according to their point system, and they’re all such geniuses). Obviously women will ALWAYS choose guy A over guy B because of his so-called “alpha traits.” Guy A is more “alpha” because he makes more money, has more “swag” and wears a better “poker face” so obviously he will get all the girls and have all the sex. His “sexual market value” is higher according to their little point system. And, of course, women divide men into two categories: the alpha f*cks and the beta bucks because we women always separate out between the men we wish to have sex with and the men we wish to be in a relationship with … [pause for dramatic effect]Say whaaaat? That’s the kind of crap men do, not women. It seems as though they actually project their own desires and traits onto the opposite sex. Furthermore, what are we cavemen living in prehistoric times?

Of course a consistent theme among traditionalists and on this site is that men should provide for and protect their women (their wives, daughters, sisters and mothers) and this still stands. But it is something that a man does out of a sense of duty, honor, and, above all, love. It’s not something that’s done because his latest “thing” is so hot and he wants to splurge on her and show her off until he tires or her and wants to replace her.

Sure, no woman wants to be with some loser or bum any more than a man wants to be with or would be attracted to a slovenly masculinized woman that’s 50+ pounds overweight. Obviously if a guy has billions or millions in the bank then any number of 25 year-old bimbos (without values or morals) will come throwing themselves at him for the resources he has or to advance their position in society. He might be so old he’s about to croak over dead anytime but they probably don’t care about him any more than he does about them (and never mind that young men go after older women in the same way sometimes). As well, a 22 year-old woman might sleep with her 45 year-old married boss to promote herself. But would that not then mean that these so-called “alpha” men are the actual ones being used for what they can PROVIDE to these women (status validation, perks, promotions, money, fame/popularity) and perhaps the women who get with these so-called “beta” men (who probably in reality aren’t even “beta” at all) actually do so because they love them and are genuinely attracted to them? Maybe they should start using the term “alpha bucks, beta luv.”

Of course, the Red Pill position is that women f*ck all the “alpha” men in their youth and then get with the “beta” men once they hit “THE WALL” and have no other options left because no man but the most “beta” wants their dried-up, floppy, smelly v*ginas. Because obviously older women never attract men or remarry, have more kids or are genuinely happy in life or in relationships with men that love them. And they are never attractive to men. Never. Sexual market place; Remember the point system!

Are any of their views actually rooted in reality or is it just their own delusions and fantasies of grandeur that fuels their vitriol? They can’t seem to differentiate between fantasy and reality very well. Their views might go over well on an online forum, but in the end they are very far removed from reality. Do older women ever attract men? Yes. Does a man’s high status always win over the girl? No. We are not soulless creatures. We are human, with human conscience, human feelings, unique differences and circumstances. But they don’t take this into account.

For a woman sex and love generally go hand in hand together. Initially the man’s dominant traits might attract and get a woman’s attention just the same way as a woman’s beauty might initially catch a man’s eye. The asshole might have success in the short-term just the same way as the perfect “10” might have all the men surrounding her and drooling over her, but in the long-term there is so much more that comes into play. A woman might become interested or even fascinated by a man by his status and achievements, sure, but a woman generally always mixes fantasies of love and romance with sexual desire. That’s something these guys miss entirely. For them everything exists on a point scale and relationships are always a fight for dominance and control. There is no love. There is no humanity. There is no higher purpose in their eyes. Women are only objects to them and by treating women in such a way and viewing women in such a way they also render themselves irrelevant, because by treating women as nothing but disposable sex objects they imply that men have no value or worth to either society or women beyond their ability to impregnate females and fight with each other over territorial quests for dominance. They make themselves expendable.

I know personally I have never been attracted to men who had a lot of fame, power or money. This is probably because instinctively I knew that the long-term potential of such men was highly questionable and I was never willing to cheapen myself or sell my soul for 15 minutes of fame or a few dollars. When it comes down to it I have always had much more love for myself than to throw myself at some “high-status” man with so-called “options.” Only a woman with no self-love or a woman who was out for personal gain would allow herself to be used like that. Yes, I’ve had the option of doing such things in my life- of becoming involved sexually with men who could, however temporarily, bump up my status and provide me resources- but I never did. The reason is because my sexuality was worth more- I was worth more- and I have never been willing to be used or abused by some man as some kind of disposable sex object- the very thing the “manosphere” seeks to degrade women down to.

I do always find it interesting whenever their Red Pill teachings don’t pan out in reality. Older women are dried up old hags to you? Oh, so why are so few of you with someone significantly younger than you then..?(2) We don’t always get what we want, do we? (Perhaps they just over-estimate their value a wee bit then?) Plenty of men have tried out Red Pill techniques on their wives, girlfriends and women that they hoped to get with/sleep with only to have it backfire and ruin the relationship entirely. My favorite was this one incidence I read on a forum somewhere (I’ll probably never find it again and don’t remember where I was when I read it) where the guy tried the “advice” to pull out of his girlfriend in the middle of sex and pretend like he just lost interest all of a sudden. The idea is that it was, supposedly, supposed to tilt things in his favor and make her desire him 10x more and then they would have crazy, wild sex 5x more often. To his surprise (yes he was actually surprised it didn’t work, poor guy) it backfired on him, and, instead of her desiring him more, the girlfriend instead refused to even speak to him for something like two weeks. Similar stories abound all over the “manosphere.” Furthermore, much of the “manosphere” teachings seem to be nothing more than child’s play. Most of the teachings are about getting the upper hand and turning the “sexual marketplace” back in their favor so they can use women as they please without any kind of commitment or responsibility on their part.

It’s abusive, irresponsible and doesn’t always work, but hey, why not take the Red Pill anyways despite the side-effects?


**Screenshots captured from this ROK article.

The Game 

Perhaps the world will forgive me, for I am indeed a dirty little liar after all. I’m just as manipulative and play just as dirty as the next psychopath out there. I can only hope that all the anonymous characters who have inspired my writings over the years will forgive me, for I know exactly what it is that I do. My purpose here is to teach and to educate to all those who read. And I know I’ve at least done some good, given the feedback I’ve received from fans and readers over time. So I hope now that all my ladies might gather around, and listen to the words that I have to say…

For those who have been with me a long time, you might have noticed a slight shift away from political matters to more relationship/personal matters. Nature has both blessed me and cursed me with the gift of being dramatic. I take what is inside and play upon it to create and to teach. 

The last few months have been more about love and passion and affairs of the heart. There are two sides of life; on the one hand there is the need to be serious and ensure one’s livelihood and on the other is the heart’s desire to be carefree and enjoy the short time we have on this earth. 

Man’s burden is in what he accomplishes and how he presents himself to the world; he pursues and often faces the humiliation of rejection. The woman’s dilemma is to hope to be pursued and if she is she must then carry the burden of determining a man’s true intentions towards her; of filtering, as I have said before in my writings on love, between men who wish a relationship with her and care about her and men who only wish to have sex with her. And if she chooses wrongly she could wake up to find the man long gone, with virtually all of the consequences of the act falling upon her. 

How many women have wisely held back even when the fevers started burning only to be glad they did when they discovered that all the man wanted was sex? Yet how many women have given in only to face the pain, heartbreak and physical repercussions that follow when they learned only too late what the man was really about? 

Woman holds the keys to sex. It is her power, possibly her only power, over man, and it should be used wisely. A man will say anything, or take any position, that might make it readily available to him.  Lies might spill forth from his mouth, but the real truth can only be revealed through his actions. A wise woman must hold back so she can see what a man’s really all about. This is where the man must pursue, and if he doesn’t something is probably not right. It is generally only when a woman makes it clear that sex cannot be forthcoming without a relationship, that the gig is up and the game is no longer working, and seeks that finality that the truth is revealed and the man shows his true colors. The man will then usually either step up or disappear (or, as is the case with some malicious characters, try to reappear and suck you back in again later on).   

A man’s weakness is his sex drive; a woman’s is her emotions. Both sexes manipulate the weaknesses of the other to obtain what they want. Most of us instinctively know when something is wrong, we know when we’re being manipulated. Generally the forms for seducing a man are purely visual and physical; for the woman they are psychological. Methods generally include breaking down a woman’s self-esteem and self worth and putting her on an emotional roller coaster ride. 

Some men play dirty, especially when they seek power and control. If experienced enough, a person can literally “do nothing” to induce a “crazy-making” effect. For those untrained in psychology, the forms of covert emotional manipulation can be difficult to spot. But woman was given the gift of intuition. If you feel something is off, it probably is. If you feel you’re being toyed with, you probably are. You know what your senses observe, you know when you’re being gaslighted, and you know what you perceive to be true even when you’re told you’re crazy or imagining things. 

This is important to understand. A woman must understand the game and choose wisely how she wishes to play. So much pain and heartbreak has resulted because of sexual revolution; as a result of abandoning old-fashioned wisdom. Only the foolish girl believes a few romps in a haystack means a man loves her. Times have changed, but nature hasn’t. It is still as important as ever for a woman to guard her sexuality and to guard her heart.

It’s even more important for a woman to understand the game and manipulation so as not to fall prey to it. The best way, of course, is to simply refuse to play the game at all. The best thing, and the most old-fashioned thing, is for a woman to simply sit back and let the man take the lead- if he’s ever going to. If not, then he’s either not interested or simply not ready to commit to a relationship with her. 

Rough & Soft 

If there is one thing that I’m sick of hearing it’s that “women love assholes.” No, actually, we don’t. Plenty of women still love men in spite of them being assholes, but no woman loves a man because of it. Not only is it tiring and emotionally damaging dealing with a man who’s an asshole, women actually have good reason to be wary of men who are assholes.

The basic fact of life is that males can easily represent danger to females. It’s actually a major fear for many women that we may come to like or love a man who turns out to be an asshole. After all, a man like that is often very unpredictable and could easily turn violent towards us or abandon us. Women always have reason to fear being physically harmed, raped or impregnated and abandoned by men therefore it makes no sense that we would seek out men who would hurt us. On the contrary, we would be (we are) attracted to dominate men who would protect us. 

Our biology can oftentimes be at odds with our heart’s desires. We want a man that’s strong and high status yet at the same time the very men that we desire could also easily hurt us. The “bad boy” type can be dreamy for many women because he’s confident, strong and charming yet there’s still a darkness lurking underneath the surface that can potentially cause a lot of harm to a woman. 

And, no, I do not actually like being degraded. Overpowered, yes, but always in a loving and gentle way. There’s nothing scarier than coming to love a man and wanting to relax, let down your guard, trust and follow him only to have him turn out to be abusive either physically or emotionally. Never in my life have I loved a man and listed under the characteristics of why I loved him as “he treats me like dirt and regularly disappears on me. Oh he’s so dreamy!” 

In my mind romance always happens by a strong man but also a loving man. There’s always the typical fairy-tale element of being rescued from some sort of danger and being the damsel in distress. Yet at the same time the man isn’t “soft” or emotional either. He loves me, is devoted to me, yet at the same time knows how to play it cool as well. 

Men who are assholes are actually repulsive and this isn’t just something I’ve come to hate because I’ve gotten sick of men with age. Even as a teenager I did not like men who were assholes. I still loved strong men, but not assholes. Yes, it did seem that “assholes” had a lot of sex, but the women they were having sex with were generally very promiscuous and also had sex with a lot of other men too. They weren’t getting “high quality” feminine women by any means.

I’ll never forget when I was only like 18 years old a man declaring to me how much women “just love assholes.” I remember my mouth just dropping open in unconcealed disgust at the things he was saying. He would then go on to tell a couple of stories about men treating women like shit and I remember searching the whole time he was talking for a possible escape away from the guy and away from the conversation. I was sure glad to be away from the guy. But, hey, the guy obviously knew everything. Who was I to argue? Especially since he was already middle-aged I bet he was a real hit with the ladies. 

There are many things that come into play when it comes to who we love and who we desire. Oftentimes it is also forgotten that being a man (as well as being a high quality woman) is also about moral character as well. A man must necessarily play a bit “hard to get” in the relationship department. Men who are too charming and too nice tend to scare away women. The reason is obvious. Not only would a too nice and emotional man tend to come off as more feminine but he would also raise our suspicions because we would think he’s up to something. I’d think he was just trying to kiss my ass to get something out of me (like the one thing men always want from women or perhaps that he was a bum looking to exploit whatever resources I might have). He would be perceived instantly as a “player” who goes around charming women just to get in their pants. So, a man can’t really afford to be a “nice guy” but at the other end of the spectrum is the jerk- which isn’t good either. 

MRA types would swear women like jerks and assholes and all of us are promiscuous sl*ts who just love being used by men and treated like garbage and we are out of our prime by the mature age of 25 and that they are all gods who’s “shelf life” never expires etc, etc, etc… and all men have to do is “show a woman who’s boss” for women to somehow be magically chasing them (instead of the traditional way of men pursuing women and actually having to make an effort and better themselves to attract and keep women). But this (as well as many other of their “Red Pill” cult truths) just simply isn’t true (or, at best, is greatly blown out of proportion). As Andrew from “The Rules Revisited” so wonderfully put it

“Yes, it is partially true that society has lost sight of what these guys call “red pill” truths; I am not denying that. But the very fact that they use metaphors from The Matrix should hint at the fact that many of them have issues with attracting women; and the almost singular focus on pointing out female shortcomings should suggest that maybe, just maybe, they hold their world-view because it conveniently puts them back into the place of power they feel so incapable of occupying.”

Lessons in Love

For wrong or right, for better or worse, the heart wants what it wants. It cannot be helped, it cannot be stopped, and reason rarely plays a role in what it so desires. But no matter how much it hurts, loving another does not mean that they will ever love you back in return.

The only way into my body is through my heart. The desire is not inborn so much as it is sparked to life by what I perceive in a man. It starts within the man as something I sense and then respond to. This can be why lack of female sexual desire is an extremely common occurrence, but such a thing is rarely seen in a society’s men to the same extent.

Throughout all societies, in all of human history, men have always been able to obtain commitment-free sex if they so desired. This isn’t anything new in the slightest. There isn’t anything exceptional going on today that has not existed throughout all of human history.

But by the circumstances under which we give sex to our men, we teach them how they are to treat us.

Women are manipulators of men. A man might get led around by a woman and played for a fool, it’s true. But whatever his losses, it can be regained in the future. But it can never compare to the damage a man can inflict upon a woman through his manipulation. Men who manipulate women for sex leave damaged broken women, illegitimate offspring and a trail of destruction that impacts all of society, as human sexuality comprises the foundation of human society.

The hurt and pain and damage cannot be undone-ever. There is no way for a woman to recover the loss. It is permanent, it is lasting, and it is severe.

A man may have an interest in one woman but readily take sex from another who is willing if the woman he is interested in will not give it to him. But women do not operate the same way.

There are a million things that run through my head. It’s not so much my body I’m concerned about, but my heart. Sure, he might be packing some disease. That’s a realistic concern. Sure, there’s pregnancy. But I’m a big girl, in full charge of my reproduction, and the chance of pregnancy is very small.

No. What I ask myself inside is this: If I give him my body, would he then rip out my heart?

A man that cares will go out of his way to find out what is wrong if he knows you are hurting. A man who cares would not ignore a woman for weeks or months and leave her to cry her heart out. A man that cares will go out of his way for you and he wouldn’t need any excuses to do so. A man that wants you and cares will pursue you. If he can’t initiate, if he can’t be the pursuer, then he either isn’t all that interested or simply doesn’t care enough. To the extent that he doesn’t reach out, is the extent that he simply doesn’t care.  Plain and simple. No exceptions.

It doesn’t matter how much it hurts. A woman must always be alert to a man’s true intentions and filter out the men that care vs the men that only want sex from her.

A woman must understand that men do not necessarily equate sex with love. A man will sometimes even have sex with a woman he can’t even stand, if she’ll give it to him. What can a woman do?

He might say he cares, but talk is cheap. What do his actions say? Does he ignore you if you text him? When you call? Does he only call in the middle of the night, randomly, when he’s drunk with his buddies? Does he only speak to you if it’s convenient? Does he dissappear and reappear?

Understand that having sex with a man will never make him care about you or love you if he doesn’t already. Yes, sometimes it can turn into a relationship, even a lasting one, but are you willing to take that chance?

By the circumstances under which she gives him sex, and the behavior she will put up with, a woman tells a man what behavior is and is not acceptable to her; she shows him what her value is.

Even if he has captured her heart, a woman should never put up with game playing. Yes, he may be a man you love dearly. But just because you love him does not mean he feels the same. If he has left you alone to hurt for weeks or months he’ll probably show up again at some point and even try to charm you or invite you over and proposition sex.

But no matter how much your heart, even your body, might desire him, by instantly jumping through hoops and re-arranging her schedule to accommodate his whims and  going to him on his terms a woman only tells a man that it’s OK for him to treat her as a mere convenience or afterthought and that she’s on the hook and he can simply reel her in anytime he wants and he can just reappear and dissappear as he pleases because she’ll always be there.

This isn’t about women attempting to claim dominance over men, but rather about a woman making it clear to a man that she demands a higher level of respect and devotion if he is to ever have her body. If he can’t give that respect and devotion then he does not care and giving him your body will never make him care. It will only damage a woman and leave her broken.

It’s a hard lesson but that’s the way life is. In her greater weakness and vulnerability a woman must be careful to guard her heart and body. A man should only get so many chances- no exceptions. If enough time has passed and he still can’t be real and show how much he cares then he probably never will. He doesn’t get another chance. He had his chance, he chose to play around, and now he can’t have you back in his life. Ever.

Remember, it doesn’t matter how you feel about him. A woman can’t let a man play with her heart and emotions or let him waste her time. Plain and simple. It hurts and that pain can be severe. It can feel as though you are truly dying inside. But if he hasn’t seen fit to make you a part of his life by now, he probably never will (or at least never will until he knows you are serious and he can’t have you back). You must cut him out of your life and move on.

At first a woman might let a man run his game to show her what he’s got and raise her interest and desire. But once he’s got you he needs to either get real or get lost. He can’t have his cake and eat it too. If he wants you then he must make an effort or he can’t have you. Because your body should only be for a man who will return the same love and devotion that you have shown to him. A woman’s body should only ever be for a man who is committed to her, truly there for her. It is for the man who loves her, cares for her and takes care of her/supports her. A woman should never settle for less. 

That doesn’t mean he must become all emotional and get in touch with his feminine side. Not at all. It only means that you  are worth more than being treated cheaply by a man- any man. 

Unless, of course, your heart’s innermost desire is to be booty-call girl. 

Then, by all means…

But if enough time has passed and he still can’t be bothered, then he should just consider that he had his chance. 

And his time is up.

And he can’t have you back. 

Even if you love him for the rest of your life it doesn’t matter. That’s just how it has to be. Because if he doesn’t care by now then he never will. It doesn’t matter if it hurts. We lose those we care for in this life and that’s just the way it is. And a woman can never, should never, allow herself to be used and abused by men who only want to have easy sex with her.