A Cappella 

Every night I do the same routine

It’s late and I step out back

My robe is long, my hair flows free down my back

I begin to sing a cappella to the wind

I am calling for my lover, hoping to see him again

Through the trees I make out his form as he appears to me

He is young and strong and bold and his hair’s the color of sand

I see him and my heart is overjoyed

I walk to meet him and he wraps his arms around my waist

He kisses me long and slow, as he takes my pain away

Oh how I prayed someone please take me away

I look deep into his eyes

He stays with me through the night

Oh how I love him

He is my lover, and he is my friend

There are no others, there is only him

In the night I go out looking for him

I am alive when he appears to me

I chose him above all others

He is indeed beloved above all others

For he is my sweet lover, he is my dear friend

They Do it for You 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts lately. A lot of these thoughts were prompted partially by a couple of male commenters on my articles Rough & Soft and my latest post You Give Yourself Away Too Easily. The focus of the comments and thoughts are about issues such as emotional abuse and assholish behavior from men. I think something that is often overlooked is that most men are acting this way because they don’t believe that women will like them otherwise. Even among the manosphere and MRA types (you know those hotshots, the ones who don’t “worship p****” and are just men doing their own thing and going their own way and being “real men” who don’t need the approval of women) the teachings of “game” are still primarily centered on altering their behavior to do whatever they think will win over the woman and allow them to have sex with her. In the end, they’re still doing it all for women. So, if this is true, then it must also be correspondingly true that modern women are basically saying to men “hey, if you just become a narcissistic, abusive, selfish, manipulative bastard who treats me like complete shit- I’ll reward you with sex!” Couple this with a “hook-up culture” and numerous problems ensue as a result. As I said a long time ago: “But by the circumstances under which we give sex to our men, we teach them how they are to treat us.”

If we look at the popularity of BDSM and the like in our society there must be a great deal of truth to this. I’ve noticed something a lot when I watch older movies. The men act differently than they do today in our culture of extended adolescence. They naturally have more of an aura of confidence and masculinity about them. There is something more naturally attractive to them. While they might still display some cocky or asshole behavior at times to an extent, they don’t actually have to be assholes to attract women. Fast forward to the modern age and everything is completely backwards. Women are displacing men in traditional male fields, out-earning men, competing with men, graduating in greater numbers from college than men and displacing men also in positions of authority both inside and outside of the home. A lot of men even answer to women and have female bosses in authority over them. Modern-day “gender equality” has completely turned male-female relationships upside down (even to the extent that many are confused about which gender they even belong to these days.) Therefore perhaps the only route available for men is to become sadistic and act like jerks. Then women respond by being, supposedly, attracted to it.

The reality of life is that women don’t really take an interest in men who they perceive to be of lesser status than them and in modern-day society it is probably a lot easier for the man to just degrade the woman’s status than it would be to upgrade his own. This is probably the most true among younger men in their teenage years and early twenties, but isn’t limited to that age group by any means. On my last post The Sinner Saint Diary commented:

“A lot of behaviors like this can be seen in young men – things that are hurtful – probably way more so than the young man realizes. Most of the same behaviors can be seen in grown men who are narcissists or who posses some kind of “emotionally abusive” personality.

Young men who want much physical interaction with girls – like I did and many do – must learn methods of persuasion – most of which are psychological. Most of the factors that endure an adult woman to adult man, aren’t in play yet – boys don’t posses them and girls aren’t compelled by them.

Learning how to score affection from girls, good or bad, is so embedded into the cultural and natural conditions of adolescence, that boys acquire a lot of manipulative behavior without realizing it – or, without recognizing it as abuse. There are probably numerous behaviors that are essentially involuntary, that young men have adopted in order to increase his chances of physical engagement. And, to be fair, there are a lot of tactics young men will use to score girls that are very deliberate, but their sex drive far outweighs the empathy they feel – which is probably little to none.

Whatever hurtful, insensitive and callous behaviors a young man engages in before the maturity of his emotions catches up to his hormones, hopefully he will grow out of them. I know I am ashamed of some of the ways I behaved when I was young, and would have behaved much differently had I possessed even a fraction of the emotional awareness and empathy that I eventually learned as I matured.”

I’ve also seen a lot of men talking about how women supposedly “punish” them for being their true selves. In other words, they would like to be good to women, but supposedly women don’t like them when they are (or, women don’t want to have casual sex with them when they are anyways). This makes a lot of sense when you consider that the majority of modern day women are independent. Women naturally want dominant men but since they do everything for themselves these days they instead turn to unhealthy habits such as Sadomasochism and go chasing after assholes, supposedly because they’re the only ones superior to them that might actually “put them in their place.” Of course, none of these relationships last and it leaves both sexes broken down internally and dissatisfied and distrustful of each other. Even still, among those attempting to be “players” and adopting whatever behavior they think might actually get them laid, you can still hear the men complaining that they can’t find “quality women” who would love them for who they are, much the same as you see how women complain about men who are jerks and won’t commit and how there aren’t any “good men” out there.

Are we not our own worst enemies? Do we not bring these problems onto ourselves by rejecting the natural order of life? We fail to cultivate healthy masculinity and healthy femininity and have any sexual regulation in our society so instead we engage in unhealthy behaviors and have constant failed relationships. In this Women’s Health article, A Former A**hole Answers for His Bad Behavior, a man talks about how he learned at a young age that just ceasing to give a damn and play “hard to get” led to his “success” with women (“success” being defined as short-term flings basically). He learned it when he realized that not caring anymore landed him his crush (she finally noticed he existed when he stopped caring). Yet he goes on to say it didn’t last and also that being a complete apathetic a**hole only led him to have success in the short-term with women who soon lost interest when he started being himself and, while he did sleep with a lot of women without commitment, he never formed any kind of lasting relationship and learned in the end that “anybody that doesn’t want you when you’re acting like your true self is not somebody you need to waste your time or affection on.” He now laments that Karma isn’t quite done with him yet and that maybe if he wasn’t such an asshole he might have been married or had kids by now.

Of course, aloofness is best in the beginning for men to attract women (while women “playing nice” is generally fine) but it won’t last long-term. In keeping with my last post, it takes time for true love to develop and rushing into things does lead to these failed relationships and leads to women getting hurt and used by men and men never getting to be their “true selves” and probably ending up alone in the end as well. Infatuation and burning desire are things that come and go, and are sometimes short-lived, you cannot base a real relationship off of such fleeting things and not only is it psychologically devastating for women for men to keep playing games but also it must be exhausting for a man if he must play games and hide his true self just to keep her interested. As I stated in my last post, when you truly love someone, you love them for themselves and that’s the only thing that “works” in the long run.

You Give Yourself Away Too Easily

Several years ago I found myself sitting in my gynecologist’s office. My menstrual cycle was a complete wreck and I didn’t really understand for certain what was going on. Of course, I had also been suffering from severe anxiety and it was taking quite a toll on my life. After giving me a physical checkup and seeing that I was healthy and certainly not pregnant or anything, my doctor (the same one who agreed to sterilize me a couple of years earlier) then cupped my face in his hands and said these words to me; “A woman is a creature of her emotions.” 

And so it is. I think one of the biggest problems between men and women today is not only our failure to understand one another but also our attempts to make us alike to one another. There are the men out there who don’t understand how real these emotions are, then there are the men who simply don’t care and, worst of all, there are the men out there who purposely manipulate those emotions for their own selfish purposes. 

You can see this all the time in the manosphere where writers and commenters are constantly whining about women, talking about how useless women are and sharing tips and techniques on how to “game” women and even how to stay as emotionally distant as possible while doing so that way it’ll be easier just to dump the woman off when he’s done using her. Some of the techniques and little tricks are ridiculous and crazy but some are downright abusive and even dangerous. They seem to want a society where they have access to easy sex yet no parental responsibility to children they father (unless they WANT to be involved) in the process and no responsibility to marry. At the same time they want a traditional society where women are good little girls and dress and act accordingly! Never mind that society has never let men completely off the hook without marriage or financial responsibility to children fathered outside of marriage or without any regulation of male sexuality along with the regulation of female sexuality.

I’ve slightly delved into the subject of emotional abuse before. A lot of the aspects of “game” are predicated on psychological manipulation. Some of that manipulation is harmless and ridiculous to warrant nothing more than a simple eye roll at the stupidity of it. But some of it goes into the realm of covert emotional manipulation, a kind of manipulation most often used by sociopathic, narcissistic, and machiavellian personalities. This type of manipulation can often leave long-lasting psychological scars, often leaving the victim to suffer from PTSD and sometimes needing to even seek therapy. It can be extremely dangerous and damaging and, unlike physical abuse, doesn’t leave physical signs of abuse which can even leave the victim even more isolated as some of the abuse (gaslighting in particular) can be very subtle. 

You often hear talk of so-called “shit tests” and the like in the manosphere. It’s often talked about in a negative light, but this is a completely normal thing for women to do. It’s also a normal part of a healthy functioning society, as in pretty much every society boys had to prove themselves through a series of tests in order to become men. How do you know if he’s really a man? You put him to the test. How do you know if he really cares about you or just sees you as a source of sex? You put him to the test. He’ll either rise to the challenge and prove himself or he’ll fail. Men will go out of their way for sex, but will a man go out of his way for the woman herself? Does he truly love her? Can he prove that love? How can she know for sure? The only way a woman can know is to test him. 

Most men have no idea the damage they do and the emotional turmoil they cause by reappearing and disappearing from a woman’s life and refusing to communicate in between. More abusive types do this purposely to try to string a woman along without having to put in the effort to make a real relationship. And still I think it’s a big myth circulating in society that men won’t wait for sex. That women have to give it up RIGHT now(!) or else he’ll just instantly move on and get it somewhere else. And it’s true, he might. Having sex won’t change a man’s mind about a woman. He either wants to be with her or he doesn’t. He either loves her or he doesn’t. Giving it up won’t change that. Yes he might be able to “get it” elsewhere. But if he loves the woman then he’ll put in the effort for her. And that’s the only way a woman can know if she’s just a convenient source of ***** for him of if he’s invested in her as a person. Men differentiate between women they just want sex from and women they really want to commit to and make a real relationship with. Testosterone also blocks the effects of Oxytocin leaving men even more capable of casual sex without getting attached. There have always been “easy” women and men have since the beginning of time visited brothels and strip clubs and saloons, etc… 

And, ultimately, nothing is foolproof. There are no guarantees in life. And relationships are hard- they always have been. I think also we let relationships go too easily in our society today and see people as disposable, much like everything else in our world today. How many times have you heard people say that many of their relationships started out because they instantly jumped into bed together? The key word here is “many.” They’ve been in and out of “many” relationships that probably didn’t last very long. You give yourself away too easily. If he loves you, he’ll come after you. If not then putting in the effort for you personally just won’t be worth it unless he knows there will be the immediate award of sex. 

Wait it out. There are different phases of love and waiting is also a good way to weed out the bad and manipulative sorts whose intent is to play games and do harm. The first phase of love is infatuation. This can be a very dangerous time as various chemicals and hormones in the body are running wild. People can do very crazy things in this phase and if you find yourself getting too worked up and experiencing the symptoms of infatuation you need to pull back some- especially if the love isn’t being returned. Have minimal to no contact with him until things calm down. Taking it slow can also allow you to see a man’s behavior patterns to know if he’s an abusive sort. There are some personalities, such as those afflicted with malignant narcissism for instance, who will take advantage of your emotions. If you see the man has manipulative tendencies go complete no contact with him- at least until the initial infatuation phase wears off. Also beware of any hovering attempts when you’re at your most vulnerable.

After infatuation (which can last from days or up to two years at most) wears off one of two things will happen. You will either a) not care one way or the other about the man or whether he fell off the face of the earth or Martians came and abducted his body and carted him off to another planet to never be seen or heard from by the human race again or b) infatuation will transform into a deeper, more mature and calmer love. 

The key thing too is communication. This is also a big key to how much a man really cares. It makes all the difference in the world. It makes the difference between the man who isn’t really invested and just likes having a steady and convenient source of ***** and the man who makes the effort to take you by the hand and lead you into his life, to make you a part of his world. If men weren’t creatures who would gladly take sex from even a moderately attractive woman with no strings attached without putting hardly a second thought into it then who goes chasing after who wouldn’t be an issue. As it is, this is the only way a woman can truly know what she means to a man. The only way. Men who deliberately and purposely keep you guessing, off-balance and unsure of where you really stand with them are playing games. If his actions don’t match his words, then he’s not serious and probably isn’t to be trusted. Never give yourself away to a man unless you’re completely sure about him. 

And as stated above, there are no guarantees. In a healthy functioning society marriage would be the highest form of commitment and offer surety and security for a woman. But even then, marriage is a legal contract. It doesn’t change human nature or feelings and more often than not in human history it was entered into with no thought or mention of love. Of course, ideally there should be love and two people can come together in love and build a life. The contract of marriage centers on the sharing of a life, property, children, finances and lays out rights and responsibilities between a couple in regards to each other and any offspring. But it can’t prevent a man from running off or betraying a woman by any means. A husband can disappear just as quickly and easily as a lover, and countless throughout history have. An affair, for instance, is an issue that concerns you, your spouse, your lover and your god. Divorce is an issue that concerns all of society. 

Sometimes we decide relationships are harmful and walk away. Other times we choose to stick it out. Whether already in a relationship, waiting to have sex, or hoping someone will be real and stop playing games or finally love us in return, there is no set time limit. Some advice says things like “wait three months to have sex” or “break up if he hasn’t given you a ring by month six” or things of the sort. But how long you wait or how long you stick it out depends on the individuals involved and the circumstances. You have to judge this for yourself. 

Back real quick to the subject of abuse, there are real disturbed characters out there. There are those who physically abuse and there are also those who mentally abuse. Mental abuse can oftentimes be even worse than physical abuse and just as dangerous. Now here I’m not talking about your run-of the-mill asshole. An asshole still does have the ability to care, feel remorse and empathy and know right from wrong. Those afflicted with narcissism or sociopathy however do not. In some cases they can get better, but in many cases they cannot. The first goal should always be to protect yourself from harm and abuse.

Ultimately, you can’t change another person nor should you try. Love is indeed patient and kind, keeping no record of wrong. But boundaries have to be set. A woman should never underestimate the power she truly does have inside. If you do love a man, you can lead him into that place of love. Let him know that love is waiting for him if he can be real and good to you. And once again ladies never give away sex hoping to keep him around. Sex is a gift he earns by being real and true to you. Your body should be reserved for the man that provides for and protects you and is truly there for you. Stay with the man , or choose the man, who has proven himself. 

Note here that not every man is going to be good at communication and I think women push too hard for men to be more woman-like sometimes and talk about things. But both sexes have to come to the understanding that we are different and we don’t feel, communicate or express love in the same way. Men generally express love by their actions, so don’t push him to get emotional. If he’s prone to be manipulative or gaslight then you may need to push him to make himself more clear or even keep a journal of events for your own protection (this is for your own mental clarity). 

And, again, these things are never easy. When we love someone we accept them as they are, flaws and all. If you do choose to stick it out with someone who does have issues such as narcissism you need to learn all you can about the condition and about covert emotional manipulation. If the man is just a bit distant, realize it’s not always the sign of a problem. Some people are more moody, some overly hyper, some complain about everything. Also not all chronic manipulators have personality disorders. Some might have just learned to manipulate as a coping mechanism early in life. Still some may use it to succeed in their careers and just fail to stop the behavior even with those they love and those that love them. Either way it can still cause harm. It is what it is. It’s up to you to decide when or if you should let him go. If you’re being abused then definitely distance yourself. If that’s not an option then you might need to seek help from others you trust or get therapy. Again, the abuse part of this article is very relevant, especially with the red pill types running around out there.

If you just don’t see it, then it probably isn’t there. Perhaps it will be someday, perhaps it won’t. But either way you go on about your life. He’ll either be apart of it or he won’t but you can’t wait around for him to make up his mind because he won’t do it unless he has to. And never respond to any kind of lame or inconsistent initiation of contact from a man. If a man’s been playing games or not wanting to commit in the past it’s still possible for a relationship in the future but I’d say to treat the situation as though you were dealing with a former abuser (because in a way that’s how it is, as game playing can cause such devastating psychological damage and emotional distress to a woman). Yes, people can change and maybe he will. But there is going to have to be a long probation period where he’s going to have to prove himself first. Just remember, ladies, you are worth it. If he doesn’t see you as worthy of a real relationship then you should not see him as worthy of your body or even a fraction of your time. Take it slow, wait him out, assess the situation, listen to your instincts and go from there. 

It’s Not THAT Difficult, Part II

Ok, so here we go again. I’m back yet again to talk about what is surely the most important subject in the world- hair!! I’m sure the men reading this (and I’ve discovered over the years that there are indeed a surprising amount of men who read this site) are probably like “oh she’s talking about her hair again” or  “post some pictures!”


 Anyways I mentioned last time that I never cut or trim my hair. And I don’t. We are taught all our lives to get those constant trims and cut those “split ends.” It’s generally an accepted “fact” in our society that regular trims are absolutely necessary just as much as it’s an accepted “fact” that sugar makes you fat (it really doesn’t, at least not on its own, but that’s a subject for another time). My hair has seen some sever damage over the years. When I was younger I would play with it and twirl it all the time and dye it and my ends were very damaged. My hair had a hard time growing much past my shoulders for a great portion of my teen years because of my mistreatment of it. But I never cut or trimmed off the damaged ends and instead just left it alone, stopped playing with it, and it started getting longer. Split ends are inevitable. You can trim them off if you don’t like it, but you’re just going to keep getting them and they aren’t going to keep your hair from getting longer by any means. Nor are they going to travel all the way up to the roots and cause all your hair to fall out and make you go bald or something. Unless you’ve got some medical condition, it just doesn’t work that way.


 What needs to be understood here is that our hair is always growing (except for certain rest periods it takes). From what I understand of the science behind this is that everyone’s hair has a predetermined growth length cycle. When it reaches the end of its growth cycle the strand of hair generally falls out. We are constantly losing hairs. An amount of 50-100 hair strands lost each day is normal (more than that may be a sign of a problem, though). Sometimes it appears that our hair isn’t growing when in fact it is, we’re just losing length because it is damaged. So if you want it to grow you just have to focus on keeping the strands healthy and free from damage and simply wait it out.


 I look at my own hair and it is very long in the back, reaching all the way to my belt when straightened out, but the sides seem to be struggling to get past mid-back length. I’ve come to realize this is probably due to heat damage as I have not been conditioning my hair well or putting any heat protection on it. I’ve been frying it with the blow dryer every morning and it does appear that my hair is paying the price. I theorize that the back of my hair doesn’t receive as much heat damage because it’s so hard to reach (I can’t even get the straightener all the way to the ends of it as my arms won’t reach) and thus it is able to reach its full growth potential and grow all the way to my belt. The sides, however, get the worst of the heat and are probably suffering from some breakage preventing them from getting longer.


 There’s never been a time when I’ve taken more than a few days’ worth of a break from putting any type of heat on it so I’ve realized it’s time to get serious and forgo any heat and deep-condition it and use a wide-toothed comb to gently brush any tangles out, comb some leave-in conditioner in it then let it dry naturally and refrain from touching it. Even after only a few days it looks a lot better and healthier, but since hair only grows about ½ an inch a month on average, there won’t be any noticeable difference in length or fullness for a few months. Most say you shouldn’t wash it all that much (like maybe only 2-3 times a week) but for me that isn’t an option. Since I workout every day, I have to wash it every day. I just gently sponge the water out of it with a towel afterwards and treat it well otherwise.


 Another thing that is important is diet. If your diet is poor or you are malnourished your hair will suffer for it (as will your skin, teeth and overall well-being.) In fact, hair is often the first to suffer when you have any medical condition or aren’t eating healthy enough. Technically at only 110-111 pounds my BMI is only 18.2-18.3 which, yes, technically makes me a bit underweight. I’ve gotten many comments on my weight with many people thinking me to even be anorexic or suffering from some eating disorder. Well, I’m not anorexic nor do I suffer from some eating disorder and I’ve actually maintained this low body weight for a very long time without any ill affects either of a physical or psychological nature. In fact, many people would be shocked at the amount of calories I actually consume every day to maintain my weight. Nor do I eat nothing but celery or carrot sticks and I would never purposely throw up anything I’ve eaten. I’ve thrown up twice in the past few years and it was only because I had a stomach bug. It wasn’t pleasant and I certainly would never wish to do something like that on a regular basis.


 The real deal is that skinny is only attractive if it comes along with being healthy. We all have seen people who are very skinny and look sickly. It’s not attractive. Long, luscious hair is generally a sign of good health because it means the individual hasn’t had any serious illness, health problems or malnutrition for the last 2-4 years enabling them to grow their hair out to such a point. Protein and Iron are particularly important, as are the B-vitamins, for growing healthy hair. This is why, unless you are abstaining for religious, ethical or health reasons, I would highly recommend the consumption of meat- and in particular red meat as it is very high in heme-iron (a highly bioavailable kind of iron), vitamin B-12 (which typically can’t be obtained without meat consumption or supplementation), zinc (which also keeps your skin healthy and less prone to scarring), and high amounts of protein as well as many other nutrients that non-meat eaters are oftentimes deficient in.


 As I mentioned before, I don’t survive off of carrots or celery. Truth be known, I rarely eat my fruits and veggies (it’s bad, I know). The bulk of my diet consists of bread, beans, cheese, meat (both red and white) and sweets. Yes, I eat sweets. I have a major sweet tooth… I also eat some fruit, vegetables, fish and nuts in smaller amounts. I also drink a nutrition shake with my lunch to get adequate amounts of nutrients I may otherwise be lacking in my diet. Health is a major concern for me. I also never eat low-fat foods unless it is the only option. I drink whole milk and don’t eat diet foods nor take any kinds of pills. I never smoke or do drugs. I drink some in moderation (usually red wine) but recently I don’t drink very much as even a glass of wine seems to have the tendency to give me some mild depression the day after so I have pretty much stopped drinking at all. A low-fat diet is not really that healthy in my opinion. Dietary fat is good for your hair and your skin and without it you won’t even be able to absorb many essential vitamins (the FAT SOLUBLE vitamins). That being said I’m not one of those low-carb people either. The calories I consume everyday generally come from equal portions of both fat and carbs, as well as adequate amounts of protein. Overall I try to maintain a very well-balanced diet for both health and aesthetic reasons, and also because it tastes good.


 I’m also very squeamish when it comes to women and hair-cutting. If I’m ever watching a movie where a woman is cutting her hair I always have to cover my eyes. I seriously can’t watch. I nearly have a heart attack watching Roman Holiday when Audrey Hepburn chops all her hair off. Yes, she still looked hot with it short but she lost a large portion of her femininity and youthful innocence when it got chopped off. The starlet herself is actually an unfortunate example of what starvation and malnutrition can do. She is often remembered for her small figure and tiny waistline, but as many know, she suffered from severe starvation and malnutrition during World War II, oftentimes barely surviving with little or no food at all even to the point of boiling grass just to have something to eat. She suffered a lot from various health conditions including jaundice, anemia and edema from being so malnourished. I’m not sure if she lost clumps of hair or any of her teeth, but one can assume she probably didn’t grow much hair either when she was so malnourished. The appearance of her skin suffered greatly as well. Apparently health problems haunted her all the rest of her life, probably in large part because of starvation and malnutrition in her youth. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can sometimes cause permanent and irreversible damage, so malnutrition and eating disorders are no joke and your health is certainly not something you want to gamble with.


 The point is, good nutrition is essential for health and for growing your hair as well. Hair grows. You don’t have to do anything such as cutting it to get it where you want it to be. Your goal should always be just to nourish your body and stay healthy. Take care of your ends so they don’t break off and your length can be retained as your hair continues to grow over time. That being said, don’t over-nourish your body! There is such a thing as consuming too many vitamins (which can also cause hair loss) and consuming too many calories will make you pack on the pounds, thereby undoing all the feminizing and beautifying affects that growing your hair long was supposed to accomplish in the first place!




**Again, this is all just my opinion. I’m not a doctor nor stylist so keep that in mind.**

It’s Not THAT Difficult 

If there’s one subject that really irks me, it would be that of hair. From the women who think that chopping it all off will somehow make them appear 20 years younger to the ones who think leaving it longer is a ton of work so they just chop it all off so they won’t have to deal with it. 

It may be a bit absurd for me to put so much thought into this subject, but if you think about it for a moment hair is one of the most valuable things for a woman and one of the most feminine. Personally, I never cut mine. I don’t even trim it. I know what you’re thinking “split ends” or perhaps visions of hair down to your knees or something come to mind. First, I’ve found that split ends heal themselves in a short amount of time. Just lay off the heat and styling for a while. Let it dry naturally and put it back and it will heal in a week or two. No need to go chopping it all off. Second, everybody’s hair does have a set point to where it will grow no longer and very few have the ability to actually grow hair down to their knees. Mine is down to my waist with the longest points reaching about to my belt. It is as long as it’s going to get. If you have bad habits such as constantly twirling or playing with your hair (as I used to do a lot) it can cause you to lose some of its length. I got over this bad habit by wearing it in a bun. I eventually stopped playing with it and it reached its full length. I don’t ever play with it anymore so I can leave it down. 

Kids certainly do cause us to change up our routines a lot, including routines involving our personal appearance. For instance, I quit wearing earrings after having a baby for obvious reasons (although I’ve considered wearing them again now that my child is older- this is probably going to hurt a bit…). But just because you’re a mother doesn’t mean you have to stop being beautiful or sexy or go and get a mom haircut! Long hair is actually a lot easier to deal with. Think about if for a minute. If you have short hair you have to fix it. But if it’s long you can take a full 30 seconds and pull it back in a quick bun or ponytail or even braid it. It’s a simple fix. Long hair is beautiful and there’s no reason not to keep it long unless some medical issue or other problems get in the way. Housework, working out, taking care of kids can all cause hair to be a nuisance but the solution is to simply pull it back out of the way, not to get rid of it entirely. And there’s something decidedly sexy about the moment when you take it down too…

And I simply cannot understand the women who think chopping it all off will make them look younger! How? How does it make you look any younger? Chopping it all off doesn’t make you look younger, it just makes you look more masculine and thus older. One of the things I always find astonishing is older women who do leave their hair long. Though I have very few memories of my great-grandmother (who died when I was about ten), the one thing that has never left my memory is the long braid she wore even up until the day she died. It’s amazing how even older women can still retain such an air of femininity and graceful beauty when they leave their hair longer. Even if your hair is gray, it’s still beautiful. Don’t chop it off! To hell with society’s expectations that a woman should cut it all off after a certain age. That’s nonsense. 

I realize medical conditions (cancer, hypothyroidism, etc…) can cause issues such as hair loss and the like but don’t purposely get rid of it because somehow you think it’ll make you look better or be more “age appropriate” or some BS like that. Also I don’t believe trimming it makes it grow faster either. I mean you keep chopping it off every time it does grow and that’s supposed to make it get longer? 

I always find that no matter how much I doll my face up I simply cannot look or feel beautiful or feminine without my hair either falling down around me or shaping my face in some way where its length is evident. Even without makeup I can feel very beautiful and feminine just by simply having my hair down and pretty. And there are ways to cheat. You can utilize hair extensions and the like if you are growing it out or it’s simply not as long or full as you would like. But the point is, your hair is beautiful. 

Most men agree as well from what I’ve ever seen or heard. Even women who tend to still look hot with short hair still look a million times better with it long. I believe it has a large anti-aging effect too by keeping a woman looking more feminine and thus youthful. I’ve never cut it to the latest fashions nor understood why that mattered any. I remember getting my hair straightened in a salon when I was younger and I had to tell the hairdresser more than once that, no, I did not want my hair cut or trimmed. It’s like she just didn’t understand (or just wanted to make some extra money, probably the latter).  

Apart from your weight (which I’m actually planning to talk about later on in the coming months), the simple act of keeping your hair long is one of the biggest things you can do for your beauty and attractiveness. But hey, if you want to chop it off go ahead. It’s your hair and your life. I’m just simply stating my own opinion and stating what I have observed from life experience and the world around me. You’re never too old to be feminine nor should you strive to be less just because you’ve got kids or you’re a housewife or something. While looks aren’t everything, let’s just be honest and say that they do matter- oftentimes a great deal. They affect how we feel and how we interact with others as well. 

Just some thoughts…